Absolutely Unforgivable (29 page)

I held my breath and looked into Billy’s eyes. He still stopped my heart with his perfection. We took a single step out the door and the screams and shouts began. Hastily I began to pick my way through the sea of women that stood between us and the door to the limousine. Vin, Devin, and Rocco did what they could to clear a path for us but it wasn’t easy. Women were grabbing at Billy, ripping his shirt off as he tried to walk by them. We stopped for a moment to sign a few autographs but things were getting out of hand and Vin wanted us to get out of there.

As more hands reached out to grab at us, Billy came up behind me, grabbing my waist and leaning in on me, covering my body with his, and acting as a shield while Vin got the door opened and shuffled us inside. Vin, Rocco, and Devin followed behind and then we were off.

The mood on the ride home was electric. Everyone was so revved up from all that had taken place that morning. At that moment I really thought everything was truly perfect in my life. I however, was wrong. Oh so horribly wrong.

When we pulled into Billy’s driveway, Jeromy was there leaning against his car waiting for us. “Hey man! Long time no see,” Vin said as he jumped out of the limo and put one hand on Jeromy’s back and then shook his hand with the other. Jeromy shook it back but didn’t take his eye off of the limousine. He waited for me and Billy to step out before he started towards us.

“I saw you on
Good Morning Houston
. I no longer have to wonder why you haven’t been calling me back. I completely get it now. How could I have been so blind? It all makes sense now.”

He turned to Billy, who had grabbed his arm trying to pull him away from me to get him to calm down. Jeromy jerked away from him. “I fucking trusted you, man. How could you?”

“Excuse me? You cheated on me, Jeromy. I never touched Billy until after we broke up. A breakup, might I remind you that was due to
your
infidelity! How dare you come in here acting all high and mighty. I loved you with every fiber of my being. You broke me. I was devastated by what you did, so don’t play victim with me.”

I started to walk away when Jeromy said, “I never cheated on you, Stacy.”

I quickly turned around. I was shaking as he said those words. How dare he deny what he had done? I had seen the two of them together with my own eyes. I screamed, “Bullshit!”

But Billy, who was standing next to me, now said something that would shake me to my very core. “No, Stacy. He didn’t cheat on you.”

I turned to face Billy, unsure if I really heard him say what I thought he did. Billy looked down to the ground and said “I found out last night.”

I turned towards Jeromy, who said, “You never gave me a chance to explain.”

I turned towards Mindy and she just shrugged. Bran and Zander were just looking at the ground, trying to avoid eye contact.

My heart was beating fast. My head was spinning. I was having a hard time catching my breath. I couldn’t understand any of this. I could hear Jeromy talking to me but still I couldn’t get what Billy said out of my head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I only found out last night, and everyone was rushing around this morning trying to get ready for the show. I just didn’t think it was the right time. I didn’t want you to freak out before we went live on the air.

“I can’t believe you Billy. How could you?”

“It wasn’t like that Stacy. I’m sorry. I should have told you as soon as I found out. I made a bad judgment call.”

My whole world was crashing down around me. I had a hard time thinking straight. I just wanted to get away and go somewhere I could be alone to think and sort it out.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see my car. I ran and jumped inside, quickly locking the doors behind me. Vin wasn’t too far behind me and positioned his massive body in front of my car blocking my departure. I was angry and I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else stop me from leaving. I rolled the window down. “Get out of my way, Vincent, or I will run over you. I’m not joking.”

Billy said, “Let her go, man. Let her go.”

As Vin moved out of my way, I spun out of the driveway and drove around aimlessly until my car got low on gas. I looked around trying to find a gas station, truly having no idea where I had gone. Nothing around me looked remotely familiar. After filling my car up with a new tank of gas, I pulled out my phone. I thought for a moment about where I wanted to go. I knew I didn’t want to go home. And then it hit me. I knew exactly where I wanted to be.

Thanks to the map feature of my phone, I found my way to where I wanted to go, which was only about a forty minute drive. I really had gone much further than I realized. When I pulled up in her driveway and stepped out of my car, Debbie was standing at the door and met me with a huge smile on her face.

“Well, aren’t you adorable?” I looked down realizing for the first time I still had my fancy dress on from the show. “I watched you on TV this morning. You lit up the stage. Why aren’t you out celebrating with your friends?”

I didn’t say anything as I walked towards her. When I got to the door she put her arm around my shoulder and we went inside. A few steps in I dropped my knees and the tears began streaming down my face.

“Now, now. It’s can’t be all that bad.”

I tried to speak a few times but I was crying so hard Debbie couldn’t understand a single word I said. She sat down on the floor beside me, with her arm around me, rocking me back and forth, just letting me get it all out.

“Those boys sure did a number on you, didn’t they? I have a right mind to bend them over my knee and spank their little behinds for what they have done to you.”

She was so loving, her tiny little frail arms so supportive and warm as she gently rocked me back and forth while I cried. Still, I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at what she was saying.

“Now that’s what I like to see. You have such a pretty face. You should never have anything but a smile on it.” She pulled some tissues out of her pocket and started to wipe my tears away and clean up some of the makeup that was now streaked down my face.

“Those boys. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with them sometimes.”

Jeromy walked in and looked down at us sitting on the floor. I looked up at him with my swollen and bloodshot eyes.

Debbie stood up, brushing off her pants leg. “Well now, I better get on those dishes that have been piling up in the kitchen. I suppose you two have some serious talking to do.”

She walked off into the kitchen and Jeromy pulled me up to my feet. I fell into his arms and buried my face in his chest as he chastised me for running off. “Stacy, what were you thinking? You can’t take off like that. Do you know how worried everyone has been about you? I don’t know what I’m going to do with you sometimes.”

He put his arms around me and hugged me tightly, lifting my feet off of the floor just slightly. “I’m so glad you are okay.”

“I’m sorry, Jeromy. I just had to get away. I had to think. I just ...” I paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “Why didn’t Billy tell me the truth?” I felt stupid the second I asked it. I knew why he didn’t tell me. He knew that if I knew the truth I might go running back into Jeromy’s arms and he was right; I probably would have. I don’t know, but it should have been my choice to make.

Jeromy took me back to the bedroom he had been staying in at his mother’s so we could have complete privacy. He sat me down on the edge of his bed and then sat down next to me. I twisted my body a bit and rested my legs over his. Jeromy and I spent about two hours just talking. We talked about his trip to Vegas.

“I was wrong to go without telling you first. I put my job before you. I put a big money deal before you. I should have made you a bigger priority in my life. When I got on that plane to Vegas I knew it was a mistake. I should have told you the truth. I don’t know why I didn’t. You probably would have understood the situation I was in and that I had to go to close that deal. But I justified it, because it was easier to just not tell you.”

We talked about his trip to Detroit and the Barbie doll looking blonde I saw him leaving the plane with. He explained that the two had worked together for years and she was happily married to his boss and she revealed to him on the plane that she was pregnant with her first child and they joked about the delicate condition she was in, so she jumped up on his back and let him carry her. It was really nothing more than playful banter between two friends but that after the struggle in the house where he accidentally blackened my eye he thought it best to give me some time to calm down before trying to speak to me about it. Then after that I just refused to see him or even talk to him.

My stomach turned in knots. What he said did completely make sense and I felt horribly guilty for not hearing him out before. But still, despite the guilt there was still something else I was feeling and it wasn’t for him. I was angry with Billy for not telling me the truth about Jeromy, but even with my anger, my heart still ached for him.

“Please, Baby, tell me it’s not too late for us.” I looked at Jeromy as he said those words to me, but I think we both knew that it was. There was no going back. Too much had taken place between then and now.

Jeromy went to go to the bathroom and I pulled my buzzing phone out of my purse to check my messages. There were a ton of them. Besides the forty three text messages I had from various people including Mindy, Bree, Trista, and Billy, I also had a ton of missed phone calls and some voice mail messages too. I pushed play on the most recent one. It was from Billy.

In the background you could hear Trista saying, “You better find a way to get her back here.” Billy sighed and then spoke into the phone. “Hey. I know you are upset and I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. Please just let me know you are alright and I’ll leave you alone.”

You could hear the sadness in his voice. It tugged at my heartstrings. But I wasn’t going to let him off of the hook that easy.

I scrolled through some of the text messages from Billy. “If I had a penny every time I thought of you, I'd be the richest man in the world.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. Billy is such a cheese ball sometimes. The next text message however almost made me start crying again. “To the world, you may be just one person. But to me, you are the world.” After reading his text messages I wanted to play another one of the voicemails he left me just to hear the sound of his voice again but, before I could Jeromy came back into the room.

He leaned on the door frame as I put my phone back into my purse. He looked down at my still red and swollen eyes. “You going to be okay to drive back home or do you want me to take you? I can have your car sent back to you later.”

“No, I’m okay. I can make it. But I guess I should really give the car back to you. I can’t keep it. It’s way too expensive.”

“Stacy, I got that car for you as a gift. I’m not going to take it back just because we broke up. That’s your car. I can’t take back what isn’t mine. I even put the title in your name. That is
your
car.”

“Jeromy, no, it’s really too much. I can’t.”

“Please. It would mean a lot to me if you would keep it. I still love you. I will always love you. Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean that is going to change. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I don’t ever want you to forget that.”

He pulled me up into his arms and hugged tightly and there we stood for a moment. I didn’t want him to let me go. It felt safe and comforting being wrapped securely in his arms like that. For just a brief moment in time all of the problems of the world were gone. There was no Billy, no lies, no band drama, no stalkers, and no photographers, nobody asking for my autograph, there was just Jeromy and I and it was as if that was exactly how it should be.

But still, I knew my time with Jeromy was over. He has always been generous to a fault. Even though I knew it was Billy I wanted to be with, I couldn’t deny how wonderful Jeromy had been to me. Jeromy was in so many ways a great boyfriend, but my heart wanted Billy and no matter how much my brain might have thought Jeromy was the better option, the rest of me wanted nothing more than to fall into Billy’s arms. Jeromy was a good boyfriend, someone I knew and could depend on. He was stable and mature and giving. He was every girl’s dream, just not
my
dream. I was in love with Billy and no matter how mad I was at him right now, I needed him.

“Now let’s get you back home before they send Vin and his buddies over to collect you. I think that might freak my mother out, seeing them carry you out the door.”

Before leaving I let Jeromy know that I would be returning the car when I was able to get a job and get back on my feet. I appreciated the sentiment but I couldn’t keep the car. It really was just way too expensive. He smiled and agreed but something tells me that’s a battle we’ll be fighting again one day. He doesn’t normally just give in like that.

I took the long way home, wanting to stretch out the drive as long as I could to give me time to think. Through all of this the only one who ended up really betraying me was Billy. Could I ever forgive him for lying to me? Could we fix this? Trust is such an important factor in a relationship, could I trust him again? I had all of these questions and thoughts on my mind as I pulled into the long driveway at Billy’s house. The gate was not only unlocked but it was wide open. As I got closer to the house I saw a police car in the driveway.