Absolutely Unforgivable (30 page)

My heart sped up. I began to panic.
Oh God not again!
I turned off the motor, grabbed my purse and ran in the door, frantically looking for Billy, to make sure he was okay. He was standing in the foyer next to Vin, talking to one of the officers from the last attack who had only come back to finish up his report. He had a few more questions for us about the break-in.

“Stacy! Oh my God! We missed you!” Mindy and Bree ran over to me, hugging me and bouncing up and down. Billy eyed me cautiously as he continued to talk to the police officer. Devin and Rocco were now next to me; reading me the riot act about going off by myself.

“Leave her alone!” Bree told the men who were starting to make me cry. Mindy and Bree put their arms around me and walked me into the living room and over to the couch. Devin and Rocco were never more than two steps behind us. There was no way they were letting me get away again.

As we sat down on the couch I threw my purse at them. “Here, jackasses! Take my purse if you don’t trust me.”

Mindy put her arm around me. “It’s okay, Stacy. Just ignore them.” But they weren’t exactly easy to ignore.

In the background I could hear the officer ask Billy what that was about. Billy must have told him about me taking off earlier today because before I knew it he was on his way over to me.

“Miss, are you okay?”

The officer looked around at all the people in the room and when they put their heads down and looked away he asked me to come with him into the other room. He wanted to speak with me alone. Devin and Rocco tried to follow but the officer ordered them to stand down. He put his hand on his gun and assured them I was more than safe with him.

“Want to tell me what is going on, ma’am?”

I sighed. “It’s really nothing. I promise. Just relationship drama.”

“Why did you run off like that without protection? Did you already forget about what happened not too long ago?”

“I don’t know. I think I just panicked and I was upset and I just needed to get away.”

“What had you so upset?”

“It wasn’t a what, it was a who.” I looked down to the ground, thinking about Jeromy and then about Billy. My eyes started to mist over as I thought about all that had happened and my breakup with Jeromy and how Billy lied to me.

“Did someone hurt you?”

“Not physically, no. It was my ex-boyfriend. He saw us on television this morning and he didn’t react well to it.”

“And your ex-boyfriend is one of the guys in the other room?”

“Oh goodness no. No, no ... They are from the band. My ex is staying in Tomball with his mother.”

The officer relaxed when I said that and took the seat at the kitchen table next to me. “Is that where you went when you left here?”

“Not at first, no. I really just drove around for a while. Then somehow for some reason drove over there. We talked for a little bit and then I came back home and here we are now.”

“Do you understand how dangerous it is out there for you right now? There is a machete-wielding stalker on the loose who is looking for an opportunity to get you alone.”

“I know. I really do. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make everyone worry about me like that.” I put my hands up to my face and started to cry again.

“Please for the love of all things holy, don’t get the girl crying again.” Starla scoffed as she came into the room and put her hand on my shoulder.

Darla came in right behind her and took her place standing on the other side, placing her hand on my other shoulder. “Look, Stacy’s had enough excitement for today. Can we wrap this up already so we can get her cleaned up and into bed? She needs to rest.”

The officer looked up and down at the girls who clearly were not budging. “Alright ladies, you take care of your friend while I finish up with Mr. Snow.”

Darla smacked her gum and shouted out, “Billy, you’re up!”

Mindy, Bree, Tiffany, and Trista came into the kitchen as the police officer went to talk to Billy again.

“Thank you,” I said looking up to Darla and Starla.

“Whatever,” Darla said as she smacked her gum loudly. Starla, however, smiled and gave me a wink. Darla and Starla may act like they don’t care about anything or anyone but when it comes right down to it, they do have big hearts.

“How totally mad at Billy are you?” Mindy asked.

“Yeah, that. Can you guys help me with something?”

“Sure!” Bree answered.

I walked them into the bedroom I had been sharing with Billy. I asked them to help me pack up some of my things so I could take them upstairs. They begrudgingly agreed to help.

When the police officer left, Billy walked into the bedroom and looked at the packing being done. “What’s going on?”

I didn’t respond. I just kept folding up my clothes, trying to pack them into the suitcase on the bed.

Trista came in right behind him. “What the .... Are you leaving?” She smacked Billy in the arm. “Stop her, Billy!”

“I can’t make her do anything. If she wants to leave, then what can I do to stop her?”

I glared at Billy. “I’m not leaving Trista. I’m just moving back upstairs.” I didn’t understand why Billy was being such a dick to me. He was the one who lied to me. I didn’t do a damn thing to him so I don’t know what his problem is with me. I can’t believe he’s acting this way. I have every right to be upset.

After stuffing the last bit of clothing I could in the suitcase, I zipped it up and tried to remove it from the bed. It was too heavy so I asked Vin to take it upstairs for me instead. “Let’s go, little one,” he said as he grabbed my bag with a single hand as if the heavy weight was nothing for him and headed towards the stairs.

I followed closely behind him. I hadn’t been back upstairs since they replaced the floor and when I got to the spot where the blood stains had been I paused for just a moment. I took a deep breath, walked around it and then into my bedroom. Vin placed the suitcase on my bed and then walked over to the sliding glass door that led to the terrace.

“See this door? It stays shut at all times. I mean it. I don’t want you trying to open it for any reason.”

“Okay, I promise,” I said quietly as I unzipped the suitcase and started to unpack my clothes. Mindy and Bree came up a few minutes later, each with a bag of clothes in hand.

“I am not going to tell you that you can’t move back into your old room but you aren’t going to be alone up here. I am going to have someone posted outside your door at all times.” I wanted to complain but I knew it would be pointless.

I spent the rest of my day putting away my clothes. I heard Billy telling Vin that he was heading out for the night so I went downstairs and watched some television before heading off to bed, alone. I tossed and turned for a while before I finally got out of bed and opened my door. “Rocco, since you are going to sit there and protect me all night, think you could do it in here?”

Rocco nodded in agreement and came into my bedroom. He sat in the chair near the terrace door where just a bit of light was peeking through the curtains. Something about having Rocco so close by helped me finally get to sleep and when I woke up the next morning, I was happy to still see him there. Happy for me, but then sad knowing that he stayed up all night in that uncomfortable chair.

When Vin woke up and saw that Rocco wasn’t sitting outside my door, he burst into my room to see what was going on. It scared me and I jumped out of bed. I did my best to explain that I had asked Rocco to sit with me in my room because I couldn’t sleep but still I could tell he wasn’t happy. He preferred that they kept a professional distance from me and even just sitting in my room was inappropriate to him.

I went downstairs wondering if Billy was making breakfast. He wasn’t. The kitchen was empty. I made a piece of toast and after eating it, I realized Billy was in his studio. I walked in and sat down in a chair, listening to the light twang of his guitar. When he realized I was in there with him, he put his guitar down and without saying a word started to walk out of the room. As he made his way to the door, I stood up and blocked his exit. “Billy, we need to talk.”

A sad look crossed his face as I put my hand on his arm. But before he could respond there was a knock at the front door. He walked past me to see who it was. I walked up behind Billy and saw it was a man delivering a large bouquet of flowers. It was a beautiful mixture of peach roses and pink calla lilies. I took the flowers and sat them down on the table by the door and pulled out the small card. It read, “Thinking of you. Love, Jeromy.”

When I looked up to explain, Billy was gone.

I didn't see him again until that night at Rowdy’s. I wasn’t so sure if being there was a good idea after seeing the scowl on Billy’s face. I started to ask Vin to take me home but Trista wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted I get on stage with the rest of the gang.

When the first song started Billy leaned into the microphone, the bottom of the stand coming up off of the floor. The lights in the bar had dimmed and a small spotlight now shone on him. He looked directly at me as my face colored red but he did not retreat. His gaze locked onto mine. The first line of the song he said almost in a whisper, yet he could still be heard clearly. “I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my mind.”

The song picked up tempo and the rest of the words he spoke truly broke my heart. “So much is left unsaid. You are so beautifully broken. I want you to know. I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you. I want to be your better half. You are so beautifully broken. I want to take away your pain.” He flashed his trademark smile at the crowd and they went wild.

There was a slight pause and the lights flashed back on. The song was a much faster beat now. There were no longer the soft spoken words coming from his heart. He screamed into the microphone, “Kill me now you fucking bitch! You are killing me inside!” I glanced over to him to see if his eyes were still looking towards me and luckily he was not. He was looking out into the crowd as they cheered him on adoringly.

I tuned out the rest of the song. I couldn’t bear to hear any more of it. I knew exactly who he had written that song for and I didn’t want to know what else he felt for me. I didn’t want to hear any more about his pain. I got it. I knew he was hurting but he was the one who had lied to me. He could have told me Jeromy didn’t cheat on me but he didn’t. He said he only learned that night before, but who knows if that was true. For all I know he could have known about Jeromy the entire time.

I knew Trista would be mad if I left but I didn’t care. I walked off of the stage and made my way to the back room where I sat down and tried to block the throngs of screaming fans out of my head.

After taking a short breather I came back out and sat down at the band’s table. I sat back and watched Billy on the stage. He was really on fire tonight and the fans were eating it up. One fan in particular. I recognized her from when I first moved to Houston. She was a cute little redhead that Billy had been intimate with before.

I don’t recall seeing her since then, but tonight she was eagerly cheering him on and when they finished their set I was horrified to watch him go up to her and disappear into the parking lot with his arm wrapped around her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. How could he do that to me? I was devastated by his betrayal and asked Vin to take me home.

When I woke up the next morning I went downstairs with my head still reeling from what had happened with Billy and the redhead. I decided that today I was going to confront him and make him talk to me about everything.

Clearly, our relationship was over; that was evident when he stuck his tongue down that girl’s throat, but I still wanted some answers. I needed that closure. However, when I got downstairs I realized Billy hadn't come home last night. And he wouldn't come home for another two days. And when he finally did get home he wouldn’t even look at me, let alone speak to me.

I called Trista to let her know that I wouldn’t be performing with the band anymore; it was just too hard to see Billy with other girls. She freaked out and rushed over.

“I know you and Billy are having a hard time right now but please Stacy, don’t do this. Please don’t just ditch the band. We are on the verge of something big.”

“Trista you are being ridiculous. I’m not part of the band; I’m just eye candy who can be easily replaced. Stick Bree up front with Billy onstage and nobody will even notice I’m gone.”

“I don’t know where you get the idea that we can just replace you. Do you not realize how big Billy and Stacy mania is?”

“I think you are exaggerating just a bit Trista. I don’t think I’ll be missed in the slightest.”

“Please Stacy. I know things seem bad right now but think of the rest of the band. We are all counting on you. The more Billy and Stacy are out there, the more gigs we book, the more money we make.”

“The success of the band should be about the music Trista, not the drama surrounding it.”

“Yeah you would think that, but you and I both know that isn’t how things work. Drama drives sales. The more drama you have, the more newsworthy you are and the more you are in the news, the more people want to hear your music. You have a degree in marketing, you know exactly how these things work.”

I hated to admit it but Trista was right. It takes more than just great music to make it big anymore. The drama that was Billy and Stacy did increase the fan base. But how could I possibly keep going on like this? I hated seeing Billy with other girls and he clearly wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.