All I Want For Christmas (13 page)

“Is there a motel around here?” he asked.

“Closest one is a block away,” the younger nurse replied. She gave directions, and Ryan and Tina headed for the elevators.

In weary silence they left the hospital and headed out through fog and bone-chilling dampness.

The motel, which was part of a chain, looked like any other motel, with gray and mauve furniture, a large bouquet of fake flowers on a low table and an eating area off to one side.

The heavyset middle-aged male clerk's badge identified him as Fred. Squinting, he checked the computer screen, his shirt stretched tight over his belly. “We don't have any rooms with king-size beds available. You folks mind a queen-size?”

He thought Ryan and Tina were together.

Tina flushed. “Um, we need separate rooms.”

Fred's gaping jaw and arched eyebrows were almost comical. “Oh. Sure. Connecting all right? For your
protection
,” he winked, “both doors have inside locks.”

“Thanks.” Ryan ignored the sly wink. Let the man think what he wanted, but both doors would stay locked. He thought about his promise to G. G., certain she hadn't meant for him to spend the night with Tina. This way he'd be close by, available should she need him.

“We had a medical emergency and didn't have time to pack. Do you have travel kits?” he asked.

Reaching under the counter, Fred pulled out two plastic packets containing toothpaste, toothbrush, comb and plastic razor. “I hope the person will be okay.”

Tina closed her eyes a moment, then opened them. “Thank you.”

They scheduled wake-up calls for eight-thirty, then silently rode the elevator to the third floor, Tina swallowing rapidly as if working to hold back her emotions. Ryan guessed that she was trying not to cry in front of him. At the moment, giving her the privacy she clearly needed was impossible, so he shoved the packet and his hands in his jeans' pocket and stared at the carpet.

Their rooms were several yards from the elevator. As they stopped before Tina's door, her lower lip trembled. “Thank you again, Ryan.” Her eyes flooded. “For being here. You've been wonderful.”

God help him, the dam burst and she began to sob. He opened his arms, and she fell into them.

He'd never been any good with crying women, but he knew what worked with Maggie. He patted Tina's back and murmured whatever came into his head. “It's okay, Tina. G. G.' s getting the best care possible. She's a fighter, and she'll be fine.”

“I kn-know, but I'm scared anyway,” she said, her words muffled by his shirt.

After a while she pulled away, sniffled and found a packet of tissues in her purse. “I don't know why I'm crying. And on your only shirt.” Using a clean tissue she swiped at his wet shirtfront. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't worry about it.” He put his arm around her waist. “You're exhausted. Give me your key.”

Holding her close, he opened the door and shepherded her inside. The small room smelled faintly of disinfectant. He turned back the ugly brown-and-red-striped spread. “Get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow.”

Tina gave him a weak smile. “G. G. said you were a special man. Now I know why.”

Ryan felt his cheeks grow warm. “I'm just a regular guy who happens to care a lot about the woman who lives across the street.”

And the woman standing in front of him, too. He wished to God he didn't, but there it was.

“Modest, too.” This time her smile was stronger.

She cupped his cheek, her hand soft and warm. Feelings he didn't want or understand crowded his chest, and against his better judgment he closed his eyes and savored her touch. When he opened them her gaze was dark and probing.

What he saw there—need and hunger—fanned the fires he'd battled for days. His body woke up, and he knew that if he stayed any longer he wouldn't be able to leave.

Clearing his throat he pulled away. “Good night.” He strode toward the door.

Just before he walked through it, aiming his gaze at a point above her shoulder so that he wouldn't see the desire in her face, he spoke again. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.” With his door locked and his mind blank—he would not think about wanting Tina. “Knock if you need me.”

Hoping to hell she wouldn't, he headed for his room. Seconds later, he heard water sluicing through the pipes—probably her shower. He showered, too, another cold one, then washed out his socks and his shorts. Though feeling as he did, sleeping in the buff would only make things worse.

Glancing down at his semihard arousal, he shook his head. Things were pretty bad now.

He folded back his striped bedspread. The soft mattress dipped under his weight. He'd probably wake up with a mother of a backache, but was too tired to let that bother him.

As he lay in the darkness, he tried not to think about Tina. Only a thin wall and two locked doors separated them. Was she naked, too, or sleeping in her underwear? Ryan wondered whether she wore the plain cotton kind or something sexier. Lacy, he decided, picturing her in slinky panties and a low-cut bra that barely hid her assets. His arousal stiffened. He groaned. It served him right.

Wrapped in a bath towel, her freshly washed underwear and socks hanging in the bathroom to dry, Tina rubbed a clear space on the steamed-up mirror and pulled a comb through her hair. Come morning, without hair gel, she'd never be able to fix it the way she liked. The bathroom had no hairdryer, and she was too exhausted to call and ask for one.

She looked as tired as she felt, and small wonder. What a night this had been. And it wasn't over. Despite knowing rationally that G. G. would pull through, Tina's heart stuttered with terror at the thought that she might not. Tears filled her eyes again, blurring her reflection.

She turned away, grabbed a tissue, blew her nose and admitted that she didn't want to be alone tonight.

No, she wanted to sleep in Ryan's bed, and forget for a little while about G. G., her new job as creative director, and how mixed up she was. In Ryan's arms, she knew she would find the solace she sought.

What about your heart?
the logical part of her brain asked. If she made love with Ryan…That was a surefire way to lose her heart to him. Which he didn't want. Really, neither did she. Not with her new position to focus on.

“None of that matters tonight,” she stated out loud. At the moment that was true. “I need him.”

Just for this one night, away from the island, where no one besides her and Ryan would ever know.

New doubts plagued her.
What if he rejects me?
With circles under her puffy, red-rimmed eyes, no makeup and wet hair, she was hardly attractive. But she wasn't blind. She'd seen the desire in his eyes; had felt it in his embrace. His hunger was every bit as strong as hers.

“Knock, if you need me,” he'd said.

And she did, desperately. Before she changed her mind, feeling bold and a little reckless, she marched toward the door that separated their rooms.

R
YAN WAS
seriously considering taking care of his arousal problem all by himself, when a firm knock on the door between his room and Tina's stopped him.

“Ryan?” Tina said, sounding dangerously close.

Swearing under his breath, he sat up and flipped on the light, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. “Yeah?”

“Would you please unlock your door?”

“What for?” he asked, wary and on edge.

“So I can come in. Please.”

The need and anguish in her voice were impossible to ignore. “I'm not dressed,” he warned, hoping to hell his body settled down.

“That's okay. I'm not, either.”

Not what he wanted to hear. Images filled his head, of Tina naked. Heart pounding, he stepped into his jeans and tried to zip them up. Given his present condition, this was not easy and not fun. Maybe Tina wouldn't notice.
Right, and life is full of happy endings.
He flipped the lock and opened the door a scant inch.

She was standing there with a skimpy white towel wrapped around her like a sarong, revealing pale bare shoulders and lots of leg, her face clean and her hair wet and freshly combed.

He'd never seen a more beautiful woman, and he yearned to pull off that towel and feast his eyes and hands on her. A certain part of his body throbbed. Blood hammered in his head, and he gripped the door between them.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice sounding brusque even to him.

“I don't want to be alone tonight.” Her gaze never wavering from his, she drew a deep breath. “Can I stay with you?”

A bad idea, and they both knew it. Yet Ryan could no more turn her down than stop breathing. He stepped back and fully opened the door.

R
YAN HAD LIED
. He
was
dressed, partially, and every bit as gorgeous without his shirt as Tina had imagined. She ran her gaze over his muscled arms, the smattering of dark hair on his broad chest and his flat belly. Her eyes lowered to his strained zipper. He was aroused. Heat scalded her face, and abruptly she shifted her gaze.

“You see that I want you.” His eyes glittered and a pained smile flickered. “Now, if you know what's good for you, you'll head back to your room and lock your door. And for God's sake, put on some clothes.”

Standing stiff and tall, his expression harsh, he seemed almost ferocious. But Tina refused to be intimidated. Having left her pride behind, she wasn't about to back down.

She held her head high. “What's best for me tonight is staying here with you. I want to make love with you.”

A strangled sound escaped from his throat. “Don't tempt me, Tina.” Shaking his head, he backed away. “I can't get involved. I won't.”

“I'm not asking for promises or commitment. All I want is tonight.” She hated begging—she'd never done so before. And though she might hate herself in the morning, her feelings tonight pushed her beyond caring. “Help me forget about G. G. for a while.” Hiding nothing from him, she reached out. “I need you, Ryan.”

T
INA'S EYES
were hot and seeking, her tempting lower lip was there for the taking. And her arms, reaching for him as if she had a window into his fantasies and wanted to fulfill them…

Ryan's body throbbed mercilessly for release and his thoughts grew clouded. With the woman of his hottest dreams standing half-naked in front of him, how could he think straight? He couldn't think at all.

But he damn well should—for both their sakes. “Are you sure about this?”

Tina opened the towel and let it drop. “Does that answer your question?”

Now she was completely naked. Like a man dying of thirst, Ryan drank in the sight of her body, and his control disappeared. The round breasts and proud, dusky peaks seemed to beg him to touch and taste. The soft swell of her hips and the light brown thatch at the apex of her thighs. Dear God.

His throat tightened with emotion and his mouth went dry. He nodded. “You're beautiful. I wish I could make love with you, but I don't have protection with me.” A partial solution occurred to him, however, and he raised his eyebrows. “I could still pleasure you, though.”

“We don't need protection. I'm on the pill. I have been since the age of fifteen, to regulate my cycle. It's been a while since I've been with a man, and I'm sure that I'm clean.”

Two problems solved. He nodded. “I'm healthy, too.”

As badly as he wanted to make love with her, he still wasn't convinced he should. “If we do this, it can only happen tonight.” He wanted to cradle her face in his hands and study her eyes, but he didn't. Because once he touched her, there would be no turning back. “When we're back on the island…”

“It'll be as if nothing happened,” she said. “I understand, and that's okay with me.”

Tina did not flinch from his level look, and Ryan believed her. They were on the same page. Which was a relief, since he didn't think he could step away from her. Not now.

He moved closer, the desire in her expression tethering him as surely as a rope.

Her brows arched. “So we're—”

Too hungry to wait for her to finish whatever she meant to say, he captured her mouth. Warm and yielding, she tasted even better than he remembered.

Standing on her toes, she twined her hands around his neck. Her soft breasts pillowed against his chest, causing the sweetest kind of torture. Wanting her closer, he lifted her up and wrapped her thighs around his waist. He felt the dampness between her legs.
Wet.
For him.

Sweet mercy, he wanted her. Wanted to pleasure her all night long, and give her what she needed—blissful release from her troubles. Gripping her round, soft behind, devouring her mouth with his, he moved haltingly toward the bed.

He settled her on the sheets, her head on his pillow. Her eyes searched his, the heat and longing there arousing him as surely as a touch.

Leaving the lamp on so that he could watch her passion, he darted his tongue across her nipples. They drew tight and swelled with arousal. He nipped lightly and her breathing turned shallow and her head moved restlessly.

Ryan suckled her, enjoying the small sounds of pleasure that issued from her throat.

“Like that, do you?” he murmured.

In answer, she arched toward him. “Do it some more.”

So he did, losing himself in her womanly scent and her shuddering breaths. As he pleasured her breasts, he skimmed his hand down her smooth stomach and past her thatch. She opened her thighs.
Yes.
He teased the sensitive bud between her legs. Moaning, she raised her hips.

Pleasing her this way was almost as good as burying himself in her, and Ryan, too, moaned. With two fingers, he entered her wet channel. She was hot and so fine.

When he sensed she was near climax, he watched her face. Arousal flushed her skin, and both nipples glistened from his attention. His own need was so intense, he wanted to take her hard and fast. But this was about her.

“I want to taste more of you,” he said.

Alert to every tremble and hitch of her breath, he knelt between her legs. Her erotic, womanly scent filled his senses. He kissed the tender skin on her inner thighs, moving closer and closer to that sweet nub. She was pleading now, lifting her lips in supplication.

Parting her folds, he licked her sex.

“Finally.” She sighed and tangled her hands in his hair while he teased and tasted her thoroughly. Suddenly, she pushed him away. “Ryan, I'm about to lose it.”

“Go ahead, honey. Let go.”

An instant later, she convulsed around his fingers.

Though his own body pulsed and ached for release, satisfaction rolled through him. He kissed the underside of her breast, just below her heart, then pulled her close to his side. “Feel better?”

“Mmm, yes.” She raised her head and smiled at him with lips red and slightly swollen from his kisses. “But what about you?”

“This isn't about me,” he said.

“Oh, no?”

Her fingers worked at his zipper and tortured his groin. And he was lost.

R
YAN'S HEAVY-LIDDED EYES
smoldered, as if he wanted to devour Tina. Sated a few seconds earlier, she suddenly wanted more. She wanted Ryan inside her. Her hands shook as she tugged his zipper.

He made a rasping sound and pushed her away. “I'll do it.” Standing, he kicked off his jeans, and at last he was naked. His erection was glorious.

Mine.
“You're huge.”

“For you.” He stood still, watching her with undisguised hunger, and letting her look her fill.

Unable to bear another instant without touching him, she patted the bed. “Come and lie down.”

She licked her lips, and smiled to herself when his light brown eyes darkened to chocolate.

When he joined her, she pushed him onto his back. Feeling deliciously powerful, she kissed him, tasting herself on his mouth. Licked and nipped his nipples as he had hers, and slowly kissed her way down his belly. As she moved toward his groin, he tensed and sucked in a breath.

Tina closed her mouth over the velvety head of his shaft. A growl rose from his chest. Cupping the back of her head, he urged her closer. She pleasured him for all of one heartbeat.

Then, abruptly, she was on her back, with Ryan poised between her legs, his intense gaze burning into her.

“Are you ready?”

In answer, she scissored her legs around his waist, bringing her center flush with his arousal.

He slid in slowly, hesitating, giving her time to adjust to his length and size. The pleasure was so exquisite, she thought she might die.

“You feel so good,” he whispered, his breath hot in her ear. “I'm going to make this last a long time.”

Gritting his teeth he began to move with excruciating slowness. Deep in, then out, pulling so far back he almost left her. Then a slow slide in again. Over and over, each time bringing her closer to the edge. She let out a frustrated groan.

“Tell me what you want,” he said.

“More. Harder. Faster.”

“Like this?” He drove so deep, he surely touched her very core.

“That's good,” she breathed, her focus narrowing to the place where they joined. “Yes. Oh, yes.”

He moved fast, exactly the way she wanted it, each stroke coiling her tighter, lifting her higher, until she soared.

Her climax was shattering, made all the more intense when Ryan called out her name and came with her. The world fell away and for long seconds there was only the two of them and more pleasure and joy than she'd ever imagined.

As she drifted back to earth, her head resting against his thudding heart, his strong arms holding her close, she was awash in tenderness and love. Yes, love. She loved Ryan, but he'd never know.

If her heart broke later—and it would—at least for this moment she was at peace.