Almost Alive (6 page)

             
“It’s hard for him to talk about.  We just have a special connection.”  She was really trying to rub it in my face and I didn’t care and it bothered me both at the same time.  “He actually taught me some Latin and got me into it.”

             
“Does he know how to speak it?”

             
“Fluently.  He’s very intelligent.”  And she was trying to make me interested so I could be more jealous of their relationship?  I so did not want him!  “Unfortunately, we don’t hang out as much as we used to.”

             
Ah ha!  It was a case of jealous female.  “Are you his old flame or—?”

             
“Oh no!”  She laughed, but she was disgusted as well.  “I’m his younger sister, Maria.”

             
“Oh.”  I was caught completely off guard.  “He didn’t mention he had a sister.”

             
“He’s embarrassed by me.”  She shrugged her shoulders like she didn’t care, but it completely broke my heart.  “It sucks, because we used to be thick as thieves.”

             
So she wasn’t a completely jealous female.  She was just a concerned and protective littler sister trying to feel me out.  Maybe she liked me and wanted me to become impressed with Julian and actually start to like him.  That wasn’t going to happen, so my heart went out to her.  “What happened between you two?”

             
“He hasn’t been the same since his suicide.  He’s completely different.  He doesn’t laugh as much, he dropped all his friends, and he completely avoids family as much as possible.  He makes me feel like a stranger.”

             
That poor girl!  She made me feel bad about leaving my parents completely in the dark.  I never really talked about my feelings with them before, but they knew something was really wrong with me and I did my best to make them feel like powerless jerks.  That wasn’t right of me.

             
“I must say, I find it odd that he’s even talking to you.”

             
If I didn’t know Julian, I would have been terribly offended.  “We’re just friends.”

             
“Julian doesn’t feel like he can afford friends.  He’s been extremely paranoid ever since his revival.”

             
“‘Friends’ might be too strong of a word.”  Especially since I hated him.  “He’s just helping me out a bit.”

             
“What do you need help with?”

             
I couldn’t lie.  I couldn’t tell her the truth.  I didn’t even know if Julian had said anything to her.  Even if he did tell his sister about his demon, that didn’t mean that I wanted her to know about mine.  “What’s with all the questions?”

             
“I know I’m only the little sister, but I wanna look out for him.  He’s not the same kind and fun guy who used to love life and the people around him.  Sure he’s had his Emo clique, but he and his friends aren’t what you think.  They’re just like everybody else.  They just like to wear a lot back clothes and eyeliner.  They played laser tag and ate pizza just like normal kids.  Now he won’t even talk to them.”  It did concern me.  I was afraid that Julian was overreacting and I didn’t want to end up just as alone as he was.

             
“What about you?  Do you talk to those friends anymore?”

             
She started to look embarrassed and stared at her hands in her lap.  “I don’t have any friends.  Everybody at this school thinks I’m a freak.”

             
“Why?”  She was an odd girl and I probably would have never been her best friend before my death, but there must have been tons of weird kids in our school.  They outnumbered normal people.

             
“I’m the weird sister of the freak who killed himself and came back to life.  There were already rumors about us before.  Kids can be cruel.”

             
I couldn’t let that slide.  I was too concerned for my wellbeing.  “What kind of rumors?”

             
“I don’t wanna say.  Forgive me, but I think it would be nice if one person could just judge me by getting to know me first.”

             
“I completely understand.”  Maria’s eyes were so sad that it made me feel guilty, as if I somehow participated in the gossiping myself.  In my head, maybe I was.  I didn’t think any theories, but I wanted to hear them in case I was in danger. 

             
“Besides, Julian didn’t make things better.  He was completely off the rails when he came back from the dead.”

             
Well, I couldn’t help but be interested in that as well!  “How so?”

             
“He started doing drugs; he was drinking, and partying every night.  He’d disappear days at a time.  I didn’t know where he’d run off to.  He was even a little violent.”

             
I instantly thought of all of my fears while the two of us were under that bridge.  I knew it was the demon that made me think that I couldn’t trust him, but just because it was evil didn’t mean that what it was saying was completely unwarranted.  “Did he ever hurt you?”

             
“Not me.  He might have been crazy at the time, but we were still emotionally close then.  He got into a lot of fights, but always outside of school.  He always won by a landslide.  He’s lucky the cops never took him in.”

             
Maybe the demon was right and it was looking out for the body it was trying to steal.  Julian talked about war so much and he wanted to turn me into a demon hunting machine.  It was clear that he had no remorse for going after people who were once human. “I want your honest opinion.”  It was freaky how he caught that tire iron and threatened me or rather the demon.  I knew I needed his help, but at the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter if I weren’t alive.  “Do you think I should hang around him?”

             
Maria was upset that I had to ask that question, but she was never uncertain of her answer.  “Well, I can’t imagine what he must have gone through and what he’s still going through.  If he wants to let you in, I think it would be great if you could accept that.  He’s not violent anymore or using.  I mean, he might fight, but not unless he was provoked.”

             
I didn’t know what it was like to have a sibling, but I found myself wishing that someone was looking out for me like that.  Even though Julian turned his back on her, she still loved him immensely.  “Are you two really not that close anymore?  Maybe you could have helped him get out of his funk.”

             
“He won’t let me.”  She smiled and chuckled, but it was bitter.  “He thinks I’m evil.  He thinks everyone is evil.”

             
“I’m so sorry.”  Julian must have been a paranoid psycho if he thought he couldn’t be around his sister.  I didn’t know anything about her, but at least she cared.  That’s more than most people have.  That’s more than what I had.  “Maybe things will change between the two of you.  I’ll do whatever I can to put you both together.”

             
“Thank you.  I really appreciate it.”  I didn’t expect her to be the affectionate type, but she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.  “I know I said you’re not his type, but you should be.  You’re wonderful.  Hopefully, you’ll be my friend.”

             
“Of course.”  I hoped she didn’t think I was going to fall for Julian simply because she wanted me to, but I could at least stomach being around him.  If his sister were so sweet, then there had to be the tiniest bit of hope for him.

             
I didn’t pry anymore about Julian, because I thought it was best that I get as much information as I could from the direct source.  If he ignored me, then I would come back to Maria.  In the meantime, she gave me a couple of lessons in Latin.  I thought it would be interesting to learn something that most people would never think about.  Plus, we could communicate without worrying about everyone else hearing what we were saying.  I also knew that it would mean a lot to Maria if she could let someone else in her private world since her brother was being a total tool.

             
Some point during our lesson, a group of four girls started taking an interest and watching us from afar.  I’m not sure what they wanted, but they were glaring and smirking as well as giggling.  The longer the day went on, the more obsessed they were with observing me.  “Who are those girls?”

             
Maria shrugged.  “They’re dolls trying to be real.”

             
They were pretty girls, made up too pretty for gym class.  I could tell from their posture who was the head honcho.  The prettiest brunette kind of stood above the rest of them and she was the most involved in observing me and glared the most.  “Why are they so concerned with me?”

             
“I’m not sure.  Usually, people like us are usually ignored or made fun of.”

             
“People like ‘us’?”

             
“People like you who would hang around people like me.”  Maria smiled as if amused.  “Sorry, but I just branded you.”

             
I didn’t mind if I didn’t fit in with them.  Finding one friend was more than I hoped for and I already had Maria, a potential boyfriend in Michael, and whatever Julian was supposed to be to me.  I didn’t need to fit in with four girls that I knew absolutely nothing about.  “Maria, you have nothing to apologize about.”

             
I thought it was great that I got to meet a caring girl like Maria.  I didn’t exactly feel that connection between anyone else in my other classes throughout the day, but I didn’t really feel lonely.  I was just bored.  It was nice to know that my super expensive private school was well worth the money.  I was ahead of the classes and I was placed in advanced courses.  The only class I was dreading was Advanced Physics, because I wasn’t so great at it.  I wanted to take a normal physics class, but I would have been overqualified. 

             
I got to class a little early, since I wasn’t going back and forth to my locker like most other kids.  I wanted to find a good seat in the back of the classroom, but Julian was already waiting inside for me at a desk in the front row.  I would have ignored his fake smile when I came inside, but I was too surprised.  “What are you doing in here?” 

             
“This is my class.”

             
“This is Advanced Physics.”  I didn’t mean to be condescending, but I was genuinely surprised.

             
“I know.  I’m the top student.”  He gleamed with pride about that.  “What?  You assumed I was an idiot?”

             
“No, but I certainly didn’t peg you for brilliant.”  It also sucked that he also knew more about something than I did once again.  “It’s a little hard to swallow that a guy with that much eyeliner actually has a brain.”

             
“Are you actually complimenting me?”

             
“I thought the insult was obvious.”

             
“But that’s only your defense mechanism, so I looked right through it and saw your secret and overwhelming admiration for me.”  The way he smiled and did his flirty eyes really bothered me.  I played along, but I hoped he didn’t think there was even the slightest chance for the two of us to be together.

             
“Well, since I’m completely rational, I can give dues to those who deserve it.  But, in case you need to be reassured of the status of our relationship, I’d like to tell you something.”

             
“And what’s that?”

             
I threw my backpack on the desk and leaned in toward his face.  “Aliquam odio.”

             
He looked surprised, but he laughed it off.  “You hate me, huh?  I guess I saved you this seat for nothing then?”  He pulled it out anyway.  I swear if he told me he had a crush on me I was going to puke all over him.

             
“I’ll sit.”  I sat down next to him because I was a civilized person and I wanted to prove that I wasn’t being completely irrational toward him.  “I wouldn’t want my demon attracting me to anyone in the room and we both know I’m totally not interested in you.”

             
He laughed it off, but something was really bothering him.  He just looked uncomfortable.  “Since when do you speak Latin?”

             
I cocked my brow.  “I have my ways.”

             
“And you heard that I speak it?”

             
“Why else would I be quoting it to you?”

             
“How did you know?”

             
He must have obviously known how I heard.  Did he not want the reason to be true?  “Why did you learn it?”

             
“It does look good on transcripts,” he spoke sarcastically.

             
“So do languages that will come in handy like Spanish, French, and Japanese.  Besides, no thirteen-year-old kid thinks about learning Latin because he wants to impress colleges.”