Always (Bold as Love) (3 page)

4

Jake

Turns out Eve from the girls' team was invited for a camp for girls. I chatted with her while we waited to board. Once it was time, I sent a quick text to Emily.

Now, I’m flying high above the ground and sitting between Eve and some guy. Currently, Eve holds some of my attention, but I can’t help but wonder what was really bothering Emily earlier.

“
Jake? Are you listening?”

“
Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“
About?” Eve inquires.

“
Emily.”

“
I should have known.” She rolls her eyes.

“
Something was bothering her; I just don’t know what.”

“
I would be upset if you were my boyfriend and you were going to another country for two weeks. She is probably just going to miss you.” She runs a finger down my arm, and I ignore it.

“
Yeah. Speaking of boyfriends, where is yours?”

“
I have one? Why didn’t I know?”

I chuckle. Eve is a character. Over the past few months, I’ve really gotten to know her. Eve isn’t afraid to speak her mind and tell you exactly what she is thinking. I like that about her. Eve’s fun to be around, and I’m glad to have her as a friend. She makes the plane ride short. Once we have landed and arrived at the hotel, I text Emily.

Here, Sweetness. Talk to you soon. Love ya.

Love you.
Is her reply. Shoving my phone in my pocket, I settle in with a guy from Cali. He goes by Brown and seems nice enough. Eve is on the next floor up as all the players from both camps are in this hotel. We’re supposed to have supper together tonight at the hotel. Energy floods my system with excitement.

I can’t believe that I’m here, in Canada, for a hockey camp with scouts. This is going to be amazing. While I wait for dinner, I relax on my twin bed. Tomorrow is going to be busy, and I need to be prepared. However, as dinner comes, it seems Eve has different plans.

“We should go out. Explore the town.”

“
I don’t know. You should know that we have to be up at five.”

“
Live a little, Jake. Has Emily whipped you that badly?”

“
I’m not whipped. I’m responsible.”

Eve rolls her eyes and shrugs. My phone vibrates in my jean pocket, and I retrieve it. The phone seems tiny in my hand, even though it’s an iPhone. The screen is lit to tell me that Emily has texted me.

Good night.

Remembering that it is later in her time zone than mine, I reply aptly. Boy, I miss her already. As sudden as a spring storm, I am exhausted. I quickly wrap things up with Eve and return to my room to rest.

5

Emily

When I wake up, I stretch long and hard, trying to get the kinks out before I roll out of bed. I would be lying if I said that I'm not excited about today. I’m finally meeting Conrad's little boy, Logan. Drake is riding with me for the hour long trip.

Finally, we have arrived. Conrad and his spitting image son are sitting on the front porch swing. What a sight. Conrad stands as I walk up the porch and over to him. It’s so good to see him. Giving him a big hug, relief courses through me.

“
How have you been?” he asks, taking a long look at me.

“
Good. You?”

“
Great. Logan, these are my friends Emily and Drake.”

“
Hey!” he exclaims.

Crouching down to become eye level with the three year old, I hold out my hand, which he promptly shakes.

“Wow! You are a strong little boy.”

“
Like Daddy,” he says proudly, looking up at his father with a smile.

“
Go show Drake your room,” Conrad gently orders. Drake and Logan disappear inside. Conrad holds out his arm for me to sit on the porch swing, which I do, and Conrad sits down beside me.

“
He’s adorable.”

“
Thanks,” Conrad replies with pride clearly written on his face. “How are things with you and Jake?”

“
Better.”

Conrad quirks an eyebrow, and I go into detail about the past year. He pats my knee and says, “I’m glad y’all are doing better.”

“Thanks. This trip has me worried though. It sometimes feels like I'm having separation anxiety.”

“
Em, a little anxiety isn't too bad. It's probably somewhat good for you, but you're going to have to get used to not being with him every day or every night.”

“
True.” I don't want to think about it anymore. “Enough about me. What about you? How have things been with you?”

“
One more year of college left, so great. It’s always a struggle with Logan, but I love it.”

“
What about with the ladies?” I smile at my question.

Conrad looks away before focusing on me again, trying not to grin. “I’ve met someone.”

“Really? Tell me about her!”

“
Patience. You’ll meet her later today. Let’s go check on the kids.”

Nerves course through me at meeting Conrad’s friend. “Are you happy with her?”

“Extremely.”

Relief replaces the nerves. I’m thrilled to hear that Conrad is happy. He deserves it. Conrad’s place is quaint and homey. There are pictures of him and Logan together on the mantle and coffee table. Toys are scattered throughout the entire house. If I didn’t pay attention, I would trip.

“I’d have thought you would have cleaned the house,” I tease.

“
It is clean,” he laughs.

We stand in the doorway of a disaster of a room. Toys are everywhere. Pieces of carpet sticks out here and there with Drake and Logan in the middle of it.

“When is she coming?” I ask, hoping for some time alone with Conrad and the boys before she arrived.

“
Around five.”

Great. That gives me plenty of time. I leave Conrad’s side to play with Logan. My heart pangs at the thought that I could be here with my baby, showing him or her off to Conrad. It simply wasn't the right time, I repeat the mantra in my head. Slowly, as if breathing too quickly would break me down, I inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. My composure is back and I focus on playing with this cute, little boy in front of me. Conrad even gets down and plays with us. Soon, it’s time for lunch. Conrad orders pizza and gets it delivered.

Logan is such a chatterbox, but it’s too cute to be annoying. Conrad has to tell him several times not to talk with his mouth full, but it only works for about two seconds. Finally, the time arrives for Conrad’s girlfriend to show up.

It's obvious Logan loves her as he races to the door and jumps into her arms. She’s pretty. Really pretty with black pixie-like hair and a petite figure. My heart smiles as Conrad walks over and places a kiss on her forehead.

“Emily, I’d like you to meet Lily. Lily, this is Emily.”

“
It’s nice to finally meet you. Conrad has told me so much about you.”

“
It’s great to meet you,” I greet her and all of a sudden, I feel like an intruder. Conrad, Lily, and Logan look like a picture perfect family. I don't belong here with their lovey dovey looks and Logan's excitement that she's here. This is Conrad's family now, and I couldn't be happier for him. “Drake and I should probably be going. We don’t want to stay too late.”

“
You know you can never overstay your welcome, Em. Visit anytime. It’s been wonderful seeing you.”

“
Same here. Thanks, Conrad.”

I take a few steps forward and give him a hug. Drake falls asleep on the ride home, leaving me plenty of time to think. Jake hasn’t been gone long and already I miss him.

His touch.

His kiss.

Everything that makes him mine.

He warned me that while he is gone, it will most likely be late when he talked to me. I ache to text him, but it will be pointless. I yearn to hear his deep voice calling me Sweetness and telling me that he loves and misses me. Sighing, I shut my thoughts down for the rest of the ride.

It’s too hard. I practically whine to myself. Jake is my everything and he’s miles and miles away. This is going to be a long two weeks. I don’t even want to think of how it will be when Jake makes it to the NHL. Instantly, our future is shining in a new light, one I’m not sure I like.

6

Jake

Today, wow. Today has been exhilarating. Exhausting as well, but wow. I’m kind of speechless. Working with some of the greats will do that to a guy. It’s midnight at home by the time I get back to the hotel. All I want to do is crawl into bed and fall into a deep, relaxing sleep.

However, I’m sure Emily is wanting to hear from me. I know I want to hear her sweet voice. Hopefully, she’ll be awake. Lying in bed, I grab my phone and speed dial her.

“Hey, love. How was your day?” she answers rather quickly.

“
Fantastic. I’m worn out though. How was your day? You went to see Conrad, right?”

“
Yeah. He’s got a girlfriend. I think she’s the one for him. He was practically shining like a star around her. Drake and Logan had fun together too.” Emily pauses and then continues. “I should let you go and let you get some sleep.”

“
While that sounds great and all, I’m not getting off of here until I feel as if I’ve had my daily dose of Sweetness.”

I can practically hear the smile in Emily’s voice. “I’m glad to hear that. Tell me more about your day.”

I go into detail about my day, running over all the plays, the other people I’ve met, everything. Once it is midnight here, I finally say goodbye to Sweetness because my roomie is giving me glares. Sleep comes swiftly, knocking me into a deep slumber.

Eve cons me into waking up extra early to eat breakfast with her at a Denny’s across the street. Sitting across from Eve, half dead from exhaustion, I rethink my decision-making skills. Eve is way too perky this morning. Figuratively and literally, thanks to her coming out in her pj’s with no bra. Who goes out in public like that anyway?

I shake my head of the thought and focus on scarfing down the food in front of me. An order of syrup-dowsed pancakes, eggs, and bacon with a glass of milk sits before me. I keep my eyes pointedly focused on my food and not on Eve’s breasts.

Don’t get me wrong; Eve is a beautiful woman. However, my heart belongs to Emily and no one else. I’m not about to slide my eyes over Eve’s figure and appreciate it when I have Emily.

“
Did you call Emily last night?”

“
Yep,” I reply after swallowing a bite of pancake.

Eve shakes her head. “Is that why you’re so tired? You stayed up late talking to her? You are so whipped, Jake. What’s so special about Emily anyway? One day, y’all are together and the next, she kicks you out. Doesn’t sound like love to me.”

That’s it. I’m sick of this kind of talk coming from Eve. My response is out of my mouth faster than you can say Fu-man-chu.

“
You don’t know anything about Emily.”

“
Yes, I do, Jake. I know everything about her because you told me. The girl is an emotional train wreck and she drags you down with her.”

“
Better she has someone by her side than no one at all.” Eve goes to open her mouth, but I stop her. “I’m not going to listen to this nonsense about Emily. Either shut up or I’m leaving.”

Eve’s composure changes. “That’s just it, Jake. It’s not nonsense. It’s the truth.”

“It’s nonsense for you to think even for a second that I would consider leaving her when she needs me most.”

“
Jake, listen to me for a second. You are a great guy with a fantastic future ahead of you. How do you think Emily is going to deal with you being gone for months at a time? She needs more than you have to give her, Jake. I just think that you should call it off now rather than later. Do what's best for you both. That way you can have your career without being weighed down by her needs, and she can live her life happily once she gets over you.”

“
I love her, Eve. Why would I leave her when she needs me?” Why am I actually putting thought into what she is saying?

“
Because, if you want to pursue your career to the fullest and allow her to live a life with the husband who will be home more than not, then that's what you need to do. Think about it. That's all I'm asking. She doesn't necessarily need you. She needs someone to be with her more than your career will allow.” Eve pauses as if she's mulling over a thought and her eyes pop. “You would ask her to come with you, wouldn't you?”

My stony expression must be answer enough for her. We finish breakfast in silence, and once it is over, I slide out of the booth and leave without another word. I head back to my room and get ready for the day’s events. Eve’s words brew in my mind all day. Sure, Emily needs me a lot, but isn’t that part of being in a relationship? Being there when the other needs you? Being there period?

Emily’s past is a huge reason for her “neediness”. Which brings me to why I’m thinking about Eve’s comments. When will her past completely stop running her present? Her past makes her who she is today, right? How will that ever change?

Not that I don’t love Emily the way she is, but it does cause some problems occasionally. That I can’t deny. Damn it! Why did I let Eve get to me? The girl drives me crazy and not in a remotely good way. Looking back, I can see that she’s been making comments like this morning about Emily all along. I desperately want to talk to Emily. Of course, I’m hesitant because I’m not sure how she will take it.

How would any girl take it for that matter? Eve is telling me to leave my girl because of my career. I’m amazed at how strong and fragile Sweetness is all at once. She is one of the strongest people I know, but at the same time, she’s so fragile. Like glass. It’s strong and sturdy but one wrong move or bump and it’s shattered. Can she handle my absence for periods of time? If I were drafted, would I ask her to leave her Dad behind? It would be different to move out of state with her boyfriend than across the state with me for school.

I overanalyze last night's conversation and the text I received from Conrad, who said that Emily admitted that something really was bothering her about my trip. Separation anxiety, her words to be exact. What kind of man would I be to continue putting Emily through that? Why is the thought of her moving farther away from Mike bothering me so much? I know why and I hate it. That Jake who is weak from fear of rejection not only wonders if she would want to come, but if I could ask her to leave her dad behind. Her home. Why am I even thinking about this? Nothing has even happened yet.

Training for the day is over, and I crawl under the covers, reaching for my phone on the nightstand. My roomie is out of the room for the moment and I need to hear from Sweetness. She answers on the fourth ring, temporarily scaring me.

“
Hey love,” she answers sleepily.

“
I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“
It’s fine. How was today?”

With a deep breath, I spill partial beans about Eve, only telling her the first half of the conversation. Sweetness doesn’t say anything. She listens the entire time and stays silent, even after I finish.

“Sweetness?”

“
What do you think about what she said about us?”

“
Sure, there’s some truth to it, but it doesn’t matter. I love you for you. The good and the bad.” And I do.

“
I miss you,” she whispers.

“
I miss you too. I’ll be home before you know it.”

Daily, I’m thinkin’ about my Sweetness and how I wish to see her. Each night, the talk is pretty much the same. I miss you. I love you. How was your day? Each day, Eve gently reminds me of her advice. The worst part of this entire experience is that I'm actually considering it.

Three days before I’m due home, our nightly talk takes a curve. One that I’m not prepared for coming from Emily.

Sweetness sighs. “Jake, you being gone for two weeks is about to drive me to my wits end.”

“
Same here, Sweetness,” I quickly input.

“
Then how are we going to get used to not seeing each other for weeks or even months at a time if you get drafted?”

I’m positive my silence doesn’t help much. If I get drafted, I would be traveling across the country playing with a rigorous schedule and Emily would be back home, unless she comes with me. Eve's words refresh in my mind once more, and I'm at a loss for words.

“I’m not asking you to choose, Jake. Please know that. I would just like to have this figured out before the time comes.”

I’m caught completely off guard by Sweetness' words. She doesn't expect me to ask her to come with me. My heart sinks a little, and I wonder if it's that she doesn't expect me to or if she already knows she would say no if I did ask, and that's why she's saying that I don't have to choose. It worries Sweetness when I don’t answer right away.

“Jake? Love?”

“
I’m here. I have always seen you, me, and the NHL. We’ll talk when I get home. I’m sure everything will work out as it should.”

“
And what if that doesn’t include us being together?”

“
It will,” I answer firmly.

“
I love you,” Emily says and relief is evident in her voice.

“
I love you too, Sweetness,” I answer, feeling full of regret because it's like I just lied about our future.