Always (Carter Kids #1.5) (3 page)

Jordan

Age 20

I didn't think Hope would ever truly realize just how hard it was for me to stop earlier tonight.

She thought I didn't want her – like that was even fucking possible!

No, Hope didn’t need to worry about whether or not I lusted after her. Even now, with her curled up in my arms on her parents' couch, my moral fiber was fighting a war – and barely winning – against my raging dick.

She felt so soft, tender, and so damn perfect that it was hard to breathe, because the emotions that girl evoked inside of me were smothering me.

Spending this time with Hope made all of the sacrifices I had made completely worth it. But having her in my arms also made me feel completely unworthy. She had her life on pause for me. She was missing out on normal teenage activities because of me. Because I was either too old or too damn chicken-shit to partake in them …

"Promise me something," she mumbled drowsily, tucking closer to my body.

"Anything," I replied without a second thought, tightening my hold on her pajama-covered waist.

"Promise me that I can keep you forever."

"Of course," I told her sincerely. She never needed to worry about that. I'd been born hers. Sometimes I wondered if I'd been put on this earth for her solely – because I sure as hell began and ended with her.

"Jordan, how long have you been loving me?"

I smiled at her question. "Constantly and consistently since I was four years old."

Hope had this vulnerability about her that very few people got to see.
I was one of those few people.

"Next year …" Yawning loudly, Hope stretched her body and turned her face to look up at me. Her big blue eyes locked on my face causing a tremor of pleasure to roll through my body. "I want to start my life with you. Properly."

"What do you mean?"

Cupping my cheek with her small hand, Hope brushed her thumb against my bottom lip and smiled.

"Our own apartment," she told me, her voice full of emotion, and my heart flipped around in my chest.

"Sex."

Her smile widened into a full megawatt grin and her voice turned playful.

"Engagement rings …"

My smile mirrored hers when I said, "You want to marry me?"

"Are you asking me?" she shot back, grinning.

****

Hope

Age 18

The majority of my classmates were counting down the hours until school was over and winter break began.

I was counting down the minutes until I saw him again.

I hadn’t seen Jordan in over six months and I was growing antsy. I never had much patience, a trait I'd inherited from my hotheaded father, and waiting for class to be over was driving me insane.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one …

Tonight I would be reunited with my best friend, the other half of me – the better part of me. I was eighteen now: legally an adult. Jordan had no more excuses to hide behind and I had no more patience.

Yeah, the boy who'd given me his word he would come for me was the reason I couldn’t stop smiling. Seriously, it was like someone had shoved a clothes hanger in my mouth.

My jaw was aching, but still I grinned.

Twisting a lock of my hair around my finger, I sighed softly and continued my vigilant staring, all the while planning all the possible things we would do. The only word that kept popping into my mind was 'sex'.

It was like I had a neon sign flashing the word in my mind, until I began to shift uncomfortably on my chair, forcing my slut of a vagina to calm down and stop pulsing.

Calling my vagina – or any other part of my anatomy besides my vast imagination – a slut was a slight exaggeration since I was still a virgin.

Not for long, though.

Not after tonight.

I had no idea where we would go. Not his dad's house. Definitely not mine, but God, I couldn’t wait to be with him. I felt like I had been waiting forever.

I
had
been waiting forever.

Jordan Porter – the boy – now man – I had spent seventeen years of my life obsessing about – was finally coming home.

Permanently.

He had enough of Paul Smith's rules and bullshit and he was moving back to The Hill. Of course, my parents, and his, had no clue of this. They though he was coming home for winter break, but Jordan and I had plans – big ones I didn’t have any intention of telling them.

Maybe when we got settled in an apartment and had every piece of furniture jammed against the door; maybe then I would tell Dad about my plans.

But for now, I would just bob and weave around his questions. Dad didn’t need the stress and Mom didn’t need the worry. But I wasn’t backing down. I would walk over hot coals first. I was going to have what I wanted and my heart wanted Jordan. It was pretty simple in my mind.

No one was going to stop me …

"You look like a dope, Carter," my friend, Ash – aka Ashlynn Brooks – who was sitting beside me chuckled as she nudged me in the shoulder. "He's coming tonight?"

"He will," I smirked, flashing her a shit-eating grin. "A lot."

"Lucky bitch." Ash poked her tongue out and pulled a face, before fiddling with her calculator, her long black hair brushed against my forearm as she studied the screen intently. After a few minutes she pushed to it towards me and I had to stifle a laugh. She had managed to write
"Sex"
on the screen.

"I'm sick with jealousy right now," Ash admitted without shame, and I couldn’t blame her. Most of my friends were jealous of me. Not of me, no, it was more to do with my hot-as-hell boyfriend. My hot-as-hell boyfriend who rode a hot-as-hell Ducati; whose body was sinfully sexy, inked with my name; whose face was painfully gorgeous; and whose heart was one hundred percent mine.

Yep, I was pretty sure I was jealous of myself.

"All I'm doing this Christmas is spending time with my grandparents. All you'll be doing is
him
," she complained. "Which means you won't be at home and I won't have an excuse to stop by and ogle those sexy triplets."

"Ashlynn," I snapped, appalled at the thought of my best friend's intentions towards my baby brothers Cameron, Colton and Logan. "They're barely seventeen."
And they'd eat you up for breakfast and spit you out without a second thought …

"So?" Ash shrugged nonchalantly. "I could definitely turn cougar for one of those mini-versions of your dad." She smirked at me. "How is Mr. Carter?"

Ugh …

"Do you mind?" I forced the bile that had risen in my throat back down and cast a warning glare at my so-called BFF. "How would you like it if I talked about your father the way you do mine?"

"Quite frankly I'd be surprised," Ash shot back, her brown eyes twinkling with humor. "Considering my father is in his late fifties and is packing the pounds." She smiled dreamily. "You have no idea of how lucky you are, Hope," she added thoughtfully. "He's forty –
forty
–and he looks like he walked off a freaking runway. Not a gray hair in sight … and those eyes."

"
These
eyes?" I bulged my eyes to make a point and glared at her. "And he's forty-one," I growled in irritation.

This drove me crazy.

It was seriously sick.

This was the reason I was careful when making friends of the female kind. They were so much worse than men. I felt I had the experience to make such a bold statement having lived with four testosterone-fuelled, hot-tempered, egotistical men for all of my life.

My dad and my triplet brothers were the reason I'd spent so much of my life being wary. I couldn’t count the amount of times I'd been tricked into friendship by a girl who just wanted to sizzle in on my family, and that wasn’t an exaggeration.

My father had money – lots of it – and he was – I begrudgingly had to admit – a handsome man. He was also notorious amongst many of my friends' moms.

Yep, Dad was a little slutty in his day.

Thank God my mother had come along when she had, and straightened his ass out, otherwise God only knows whose womb my little seed would have been implanted in …

Even though she teased me about the male members of my family, I knew Ash wasn’t serious.

Well, she
was
serious, but not enough to jeopardize our friendship. And my other best friend, Teagan Connolly, was so wrapped up in Noah Messina I doubted she had even looked twice at my brothers.

Come to think about it …

"Have you seen Teagan today?" I asked Ash.

Ash rolled her eyes to the heavens and let out a sigh. "That girl is a walking hormone." Shaking her head, Ash folded her arms across her chest. "Her and Noah need to screw it out before they both burst into flames."

"Ashlynn," I chuckled.

"I'm serious," Ash shot back with a smile. "They do."

****

Jordan

Age 21

My body was running on adrenalin.

I was pumped the hell up.

"Merry Christmas, asshole," I snarled before pummeling my fist into my stepfather's face for the final time. Groaning in agony, he collapsed on the bedroom floor before curling into a ball – his attempt at protecting his worthless ass.

"I'm not staying here," I told my mother breathlessly, as I clenched and unclenched my throbbing fists. "I mean it this time."

Staring down at Paul's injured carcass, I inhaled a calming breath and forced myself not to continue beating the shit out of the man who had taken everything from me. I took comfort in the knowledge that I had fought back. Now he knew he couldn’t hurt me.

Never again.

Nodding her head slowly, Mom sobbed quietly, using the back of her hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I understand," she murmured, as she wrapped a blanket around her bruised body.

"I'm going back to Colorado," I added, forcing myself to keep my eyes locked on my mother's heartbroken face. "And I'm not coming back here, Mom – I can't."

Mom's face contorted in pain, but she nodded, "I know."

"You can come with me," I croaked out, feeling helpless and fucking tortured. I wanted to stay and protect my mother from her piece-of-shit husband – that's why I had given up my scholarship to USC and enrolled in the community college – but I couldn’t take anymore. "Dad can help you …"

"No," my mother gasped, lowering herself to the ground to kneel beside the man who had fucking destroyed us. "I have to stay."

"Mom," I begged. "Please."

"Just go," my mother whispered, not meeting my eye. "Leave us, Jordan."

****

Hope

Age 18

"Do you ever sleep?" Teagan growled in her thick Irish accent from where she was camped out on my bedroom floor. "Seriously, Hope, turn it off."

"Shh," I mumbled, eyes locked on the screen of my laptop. "One more episode."

I couldn’t turn it off. Earlier tonight Teagan had introduced me to this Irish television show called
Love/Hate
and I was completely hooked.

They men on the show were sexy and keeping my mind off worrying about why Jordan was late …

"I need a drink," Teagan whispered, so I waved her off, mumbling "
Help yourself.
"

I continued watching my program until a very loud – and very familiar – voice penetrated my eardrums.

"Yes, we're working things out, Derek. So if could you please fuck off and let us work things out it would be much appreciated."

Derek …

"Jordan!" I squealed, knocking my laptop sideways in my rush to climb off my bed. I raced down the stairs two steps at a time, not stopping until I was in the lounge with my arms wrapped around my curly-haired boyfriend.

"Merry Christmas, Keychain," Jordan whispered against my neck, as he knotted his hand in my curls. "I told you I'd make it."

"No way," Colton's familiar voice chuckled, followed by Cam's booming voice as he cheered, "I knew he was bagging her."

"Goddammit, Noah," I screamed, when I noticed my brother's friend screwing some girl on our couch. "I can't believe you brought a girl into my … Oh. My. God …"

My words trailed off when I realized who Noah was screwing.

"
Teagan
?" I squeaked. "What are you doing underneath Noah … and
naked
!"

"Nah," Colt chuckled. "I can see lace panties."

"Pervert," I shot back quickly.

"Hi, Hope," Teagan mumbled, twiddling the tips of her fingers that were wrapped around Noah's neck seconds before burying her face against Noah's chest.

"Hate to break up the family reunion," Noah said, with his whole attention on my blonde best friend. "But could you guys take this into the kitchen so we can get up and out of your hair?"

"Yeah. Everyone go back to bed," I heard my dad order seconds before he appeared in the doorway, looking more pissed than usual. "Now!"

****