Arrest-Proof Yourself (42 page)

DO AS THE COPS DO

Every year, in every major city in America, cops get arrested. Sex crimes, domestic battery, accepting bribes, and stealing drugs and money from suspects are the most common charges. Many more cops who are not actually arreted are subject to rough internal affairs investigations by their departments. When cops themselves are interrogated or arrested, do you think they babble and make confessions? Heck no! The only answer they give to other cops is the basic info. Then they clam up so tight a crowbar couldn’t pry loose another word. They always hire the best
private
attorneys possible. During an internal affairs investigation, they show up not only with the sharpest mouthpiece in the city, but with their union rep as well. It’s a tag-team effort that displays legal talent, union muscle, and union money to the investigators on the other side. Cops are super savvy about the criminal justice system. They never give up information for free. They never talk or cooperate with investigators and prosecutors except as part of a carefully negotiated deal to reduce or dismiss charges. When it comes to staying free, you can learn a lot from the cops.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

I want you to practice saying the magic words that you read earlier in this chapter. These words defuse suspicion and politely inform police that you already have a lawyer and will not be telling them anything other than your basic info (name, address and where you’re going). Practice the magic words with friends or family, or by yourself. I want you to think about what you will do when police question you. Do not assume this will never happen. Almost everyone, regardless of wealth, privilege, or status, is questioned by police at some time or other. So practice talking with police. Practice giving the basic info and being calm, reasonable, truthful, and brief.

19

STREET CREDS ARE TOPS FOR DEALING WITH COPS

C
reds
is law enforcement slang for “credentials.”
Credential
is derived from a word that means “believe,” and what credentials do is make you
believable
to other people. They establish who you are. The creds I’m talking about are
not
an official ID, and they should accompany, but not replace, a driver’s license or other picture ID issued for legal purposes by your state. The street creds contained in this chapter have one purpose only: to help you deal with police questions and avoid being arrested.

HOW TO USE CREDS DURING A POLICE STOP

1.
If police ask you for an ID, hand them your official ID and the street creds at the same time.

2.
Even if police do not ask for an ID, you should say, “I’d like to give you my credentials. Is it OK for me to reach into my pocket (or purse) and give them to you?”
Do not reach into your pocket or purse without asking permission
. If cops are on edge, they might interpret this as an attempt to reach for a weapon.

3.
Once you’ve handed your creds to the police, just stand quietly without talking. Let the police read them. Do not interrupt. When police ask you questions based on your creds, answer them politely and briefly.

4.
Police officers will not have seen anything like these creds before, and they may be curious. They may also get angry when you hand them your creds. They may refuse to read them, or toss them aside. No matter. Remain calm and polite. If they ask you what these credentials are and why you have them, just say the following.

“I wanted to write down my basic information so I wouldn’t make a mistake when talking to police.”

This statement is true, easy to remember, and submissive in the proper degree.

WHAT CREDS DO

The most important thing credentials do is interrupt the interrogation. They stop cops from starting on their barrage of questions. They help you keep cool. Police themselves carry credentials in addition to their badges. They’re used to asking for credentials and showing their own. Even though you have just interrupted their interrogation, how can they object? You’re being helpful and polite. Showing credentials! Showing respect!

Presenting credentials changes the balance of power during the encounter with police. They help you maintain your dignity. Even though I’ve advised you to lose the psychological contest with police in order to win the custody contest and keep your freedom, you want to keep your dignity intact.

Never forget that you are a citizen of the United States of America. You have ironclad rights enshrined in the Constitution and elaborated into law by 200 years of legislation by states and Congress. These rights were legislated, and courts were established, specifically to protect you from abuse of power by the states, the federal government, and their agents in law enforcement. These rights are civil rights, which means that they are yours by virtue of your citizenship. They are yours regardless of your success in life and whether you are rich or poor, educated or ignorant. They are yours regardless of the color of your skin or whether you speak English correctly.

I do not advise you, however, to lecture police on your rights. The whole point of arrest proofing is to prevent your having encounters with police and to keep those that do occur as brief as possible. In any case, judges are much better than you at lecturing police.

One of the most important things that credentials tell cops is that you are
not
clueless fodder for the criminal justice system. They show that you have social backup—family, friends, a place of worship. They demonstrate that you have
lawyered up in advance
, and may even have a friend on the police force! These factors influence cops’ decisions as to whether they want to interrogate you further, search you, or arrest you. Cops have tremendous latitude in deciding whether to arrest people for petty offenses. You want to tip the scales in favor of their letting you go.

Credentials also change the balance of power by showing police that you understand something about the criminal justice system. Police have a tremendous advantage because they know how the system works and ordinary people do not. That’s why even the most solid citizens can get arrested for acting out in front of police. Most people see only the fantasy world of criminal justice portrayed on TV and in the movies, and this has almost nothing to do with the routine police operations that get you stopped and arrested.

The objective of arrest proofing is not that you hand credentials to police and impress them with your preparedness, but that you not have any encounters at all. By taking time to fill in these credentials, you are making yourself aware of police procedures and thinking about encounters with police. This will help you take the important step of staying
out of sight of police
. Off the radars, my friends—that
^’
s where you want to be.

FILLING IN THE INFORMATION

Your name and current address are obviously the most important things on the list. If you are a minor and are not living with your parents, list your guardian. If you do not have a legally appointed guardian, fill in the name of the responsible adult with whom you are living. Do the same with information about your school, place of worship, and employer. Look up the telephone numbers in the telephone book. If you are well acquainted with your teachers, supervisors, and religious leaders, ask them for their cell phone numbers. Let them know you will call only in an emergency. If you cannot obtain the information, just leave the line blank. Most important,
do not place false information on these credentials
. Lying to police is never advisable, but lying in writing is even worse. Write clearly. These credentials must be legible enough to read by flashlight at night.

ABOUT LISTING AN ATTORNEY

Most attorneys are specialists, so make sure that you list an attorney with a criminal practice. The telephone listings will tell you this. Your religious leader and family members may be able to make recommendations. You do not want to list an attorney who specializes in family practice, corporate practice, appellate work, admiralty law, personal injury, etc. Most of the lawyers who advertise on TV or with billboards or with big ads in the phone book are personal-injury lawyers, so take time to find a criminal lawyer who works with police, prosecutors, and judges.

Once you have some attorney names, call each office and make sure the attorney is accepting new clients. Then request a brief appointment with the attorney or his or her paralegal assistant, and explain that you do not need an attorney right now, but that if you get into trouble, you would like to be able to list the attorney as your legal representative. Show them the credentials you are filling out.
Get at least three of the attorney’s business cards
. One goes with your street creds; one goes with your car creds; and one goes to a parent, guardian, or friend.

The most important thing to remember is that attorneys cost money. Before you talk to an attorney about becoming a client, make sure you understand whether the initial consultation is free, and if not, how much it will cost. You may be able to get the information you want from an assistant at no charge. In my office, initial consultations are free.

Please do not list me on your credentials. I’m a criminal attorney, but I am licensed to practice only in Florida, and I do not generally accept cases outside of Jacksonville. In any case, if this book is successful, I will be busy giving media interviews, chatting up beautiful women, drinking fine adult beverages in moderation, lecturing to learned societies, devouring magnificent food prepared at other people’s expense, and in general leading the annoying but thoroughly satisfying life of a media superstar.

ABOUT YOUR FRIEND ON THE POLICE FORCE

This is the most important line of the credentials. Cops never want to get into confrontations with other cops. If you have a friend on the force who can vouch that you are a decent person, this is extremely important in making you difficult to arrest. If your friend on the force is a sergeant, lieutenant, or captain, so much the better.

How do you cultivate friends on the force? If you are an adult, you can meet police officers through sheriff’s advisory councils or neighborhood watch programs or at your church. For students, the best way to meet police is by participating in the Police Athletic League and the DARE programs. The police officer you list on your credentials does not have to be a close buddy, but he does have to know you well enough to recognize your name if you get into trouble and another police officer calls. For students, this means you have to make an effort to talk with police officers and make sure they know your name. You may want to show them your credentials and explain that you are working to avoid problems with police. Naturally the best arrest proofing is prevention. The more you talk to police officers in social, religious, and service-organization settings, the better.
Ask your police friend for three business cards
. One goes with your street creds; one goes with your car creds; and one goes to a parent, guardian, or friend. In doing this, you’ll become more savvy and less arrestable.

Remember, you must find an attorney and develop a friend on the force
before
you get stopped by police. Only then can the police officer who’s questioning you and reading your creds realize that you are
lawyered up in advance and have friends in important places
, like the savviest people.

ABOUT THE MAGIC PHRASE

You will note that on one panel of your creds, the magic words you use to end a police interview are clearly printed so you can read them in case you can’t recall them. Of course, you’ll be nervous in the presence of police.
Everyone
is nervous around police except other cops and people who work in the criminal justice system, such as judges, prosecutors, and attorneys. Police will be curious about this phrase and may ask you what’s going on. If they do, just reply with the following statement.

“I wanted to be able to read this phrase in case I become uncomfortable talking.”