Arrest-Proof Yourself (55 page)

Dogs are the cops’ best friends but not necessarily yours. They can detect drugs so reliably that their alerts are sufficient to establish probable cause for a search. One scratch and a yip and you are in the doghouse.

2. COPS CAN TRY TO GET A WARRANT FROM A JUDGE OR MAGISTRATE.
This isn’t easy at night or on weekends. Many jurisdictions do not have magistrates or judges who are available outside business hours or who will issue a warrant requested by telephone. Cops may release you rather than go through the hassle.

3.
Cops may arrest you by using either of the following methods.

If they don
^’
t have a solid reason to arrest you, they may use inciters to get you to do something clueless, like fleeing or trying to hit them.

They may fake their way to an arrest and probable cause for a search. In the arrest report they may write something like “subject appeared suspicious” or “subject smelled of marijuana.” As probable cause, this is weak. A good attorney often can get charges dropped or substantially reduced when this occurs. Unfortunately, even a bad arrest gets you processed into the electronic plantation and ruined for life.

4.
Post arrest, cops can impound the car, call for a tow truck, and conduct an inventory so you cannot claim later that the car contained money or valuables that were stolen. There’s not a lot of difference between an inventory and a search. If you’re carrying dope, guns, dead bodies, or stolen merchandise, they will be found. If your car is trashed during the inventory, the amount you can recover from the city is strictly limited by statute in most states and usually does not cover actual damages.

WHEN YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SAY NO

You should always refuse a search
when the car is dirty, you’re guilty as heck, and you know it
. Refusing the search will preserve your defenses. You’ll need them. You’re going to be arrested, so now the aim is to reduce the damage. The more work the cops do to search your vehicle, the more likely they are to make mistakes that can result in charges being reduced or dismissed. You might get lucky.

If cops make a perfunctory search, they might not find anything.

The cops might get an urgent radio call and set you free in order to respond.

The K-9 could be tired. Most people don
^’
t know that police dogs can only scent drugs reliably for a few hours a day. After that their sniffers conk out and they can miss the dope.

WHAT TO DO DURING A SEARCH

When your car is being searched by police, whether by your consent or due to probable cause, you should do the following.

1. Ask permission to sit down. Sitting will prevent your following behind the cops and “alerting” with your body language when they get near the contraband. It will also help you avoid confessing, babbling, or lying. It will minimize cops’ ability to judge your body language and smell your breath. Always ask permission first. If you sit without permission, police may consider this to be fleeing or resisting.

2. Face away from the police and the vehicle. This will help you cool down emotionally and reduce your ability to “alert.”

3. Shut the heck up! Do not speak. Do not utter any sound whatsoever. Any noises you make or words you say are evidence against you. Once cops begin the search, nothing you say will cut it short. If you keep talking to distract police, they will only intensify the search.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED

Use the emergency procedures outlined in Chapter 21:.

Ask for a notice to appear, or penal citation, especially if the problem is small amounts of drugs or something else that’s relatively minor.

Cry and beg not to be arrested.

As a last-ditch technique, vomit on yourself and foul your pants.

If you do get arrested, follow Uncle Dale
^’
s Golden Rule #3:

GIVE COPS YOUR NAME AND BASIC INFO, THEN SHUT THE HECK UP!