Autumn and Summer (25 page)

             
Giggling, Natalie Reed introduced us to her husband before they started whispering and flirting like teenagers.

             
“I need to go to the veranda for a minute. We have a few minutes before dinner is served, right?” I asked, watching people ease into their seats. For the first time, the tables had more people at them than the bar did.

             
Max checked his watch. “About ten or fifteen. You go get some air and I’ll get us another refill while the bar isn’t packed.”

             
“Thanks, Max. You’re the best!”

             
I navigated my way between tables and out the back doors toward the restrooms. I followed the arrows until I found some French doors leading to a huge stone area that faced the gardens in the back of the hotel. Looking straight ahead, I was able to see an array of flowers in the center of a maze constructed of eight foot hedges.  According to the brochure, from the hotel rooms above, the garden was even more beautiful due to the ability to see the maze design in its entirety.

The veranda stretched the entire length of the building
. Even with the beautiful garden backdrop, it was relatively empty and there were only a few people milling around. I moved to a darkened area and stood by a tall white column. Careful not to get too close, I rested my hands on the rough surface of the railing and hung my head.

             
It’s almost time for dinner. During dinner, there’s a speech. After the speech, there’s some dancing. And then it’s over. Neither Caleb nor Gabriella work at Scallen Marketing Group so I won’t be forced to sit at a table with those assholes. And with everyone dancing, it should be pretty easy to avoid them. Hopefully they will keep their distance,
I thought as I closed my eyes.

             
Lost in thought, the hair on my neck suddenly stood on end. The subtle breeze felt cool on my skin and caused the skirt of my dress to billow slightly. With my back exposed, a chill ran down my spine. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes slowly. The irritation I had felt a few minutes ago evaporated and something else took its place. 

The uptick of my heart rate and the heat that I felt take over my body led my thoughts immediately back to Xavier.  Running my fingertips against the railing, I tried to clear m
y mind of any and everything, but I kept seeing those clear blue eyes.  Remembering his body lightly coated in sweat as he skillfully pounded on the punching bag made me hot all over.  The fantasies about Xavier had been constant and very, very thorough, but seeing him at the gym did something to me.

I pressed my thighs together to try to extinguish the fire that was brewing. But instead of putting a stop to it, I was inadvertently fanning the flames. My nipples hardened and my heart
drummed loudly in my chest. Every time I blinked, I saw him. I felt my panties dampen with the visual image of what would greet me at the end of his happy trail.
And I have a feeling, it’d make me very happy,
I thought as I gripped the railing.

Letting out a low rumble from deep within my chest
, I corrected myself.
No, I just need to get laid. If I get off one good time, I will stop fantasizing about a man who is not available. No matter how sexy he is,
I swallowed thickly.
But how am I supposed to have sex with someone else if I can’t stop myself from thinking about Xavier while I’m in the midst of foreplay?

             
Trying to collect myself, I shook my arms at my sides. I heard the music as it drifted outside from the ballroom and a pair of heels scurrying inside, leaving me truly all alone on the veranda. I considered touching myself to ease the pressure, but quickly thought better of it.

             
“Get it together,” I muttered under my breath as I smoothed my sleek hair down even though I was almost positive Autumn put enough holding spray in it to prevent it from going anywhere.

I tried to shake it off but the d
ull ache in my abdomen was ever-present. I was so turned on that the more I tried not to think about him, the more I thought about him.

I closed my eyes and remembered the sensation of his body right behind me in the gym. He wanted to touch me.
And as bad as I didn’t want to admit it, I wanted him to touch me. With my back exposed, the memory of him behind me caused another chill to run down my spine.

I was allowing myself to fall deeper into the fantasy
and then a sense of calm came over me. Focusing on Xavier completely eradicated all stress, frustration and anger I felt over my confrontations earlier in the evening. I knew I shouldn’t feed into my desire, but I reasoned that it kept me calm and I wouldn’t ever act on it.

With my eyes shut tight, I felt my hands start to tremble as I grasped the railing so hard my fingers were beginning to hurt. A cool gust of wind hummed over the veranda and washed over my overheated body.

He’s here,
I thought as my eyes fluttered open.

Almost simultaneously, I felt
a hand touch the small of my back and I had no doubt it was him. I jumped, not because I was startled, but because the heat of his touch burned my skin. Letting out a shaky breath, I froze as fear coursed through my veins.

I was scared to turn around.
I was scared to see him. I was scared to look into his eyes. But most notably, I was scared of myself.
If I turn around and look him in his eyes, I can’t guarantee that I will be able to control myself,
I admitted as my heart began racing.
If I can’t control my actions, I would be betraying my values and principles. And I’d be no better than my cheating ass ex- boyfriend.

He put both hands on my hips and pulled me
so that I was flush against him. He moved his hands and ran his fingers softly from my wrists to my shoulders and back down. I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to storm off. I wanted to scream at him to kiss my ass. But instead, I melted against him.

“Xavier…” I murmured
.

He
bent down so that his mouth just barely grazed my ear. “I love to hear you say my name.” His breath tickled the sensitive spot behind my ear.

Shifting slightly, he had me pinned between him and the railing. I could feel every inch of his body against the thin fabric of my
dress. I trembled with pent up desire as I fought the urge to grind against him.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked softly
, still running his fingertips across my skin.

My heart thudded in my chest as I struggled to come up with an answer.
“I—I don’t know,” I stammered, looking straight ahead.
I couldn’t explain it if I tried,
I thought as the pull between us grew stronger by the minute.

“
I was coming from the restroom and instead of heading back to my table, I came outside. As I was walking, I couldn’t figure out why I suddenly had the urge for fresh air. When I saw you standing here all alone in this dress, it all made sense to me.”

I can’t hear this. Not now. I’m too weak right now,
I silently cried in frustration. “I have to go. Dinner has probably started,” I interrupted breathily, but I didn’t move.

I closed my eyes as he turned me
around to face him.  Pinning me against the railing with his hips, he slid his hands over my shoulders to my neck, cradling my head. Bringing me closer, I could feel his whiskey-coated breath on my face as he whispered, “Why do you keep running from this?”

Feelings I was trying to bury attempted to bubble to the surface.
I shook my head. “I can’t do this, Xavier.”

“
There’s something here. I know you feel it too. But instead of talking to me, you keep running.” Even without seeing him, I could hear the confusion in his voice. “I’m drawn to you.” He paused for a minute before continuing, “But there’s something about me that you should know.”

He’s going to tell me about Camilla,
I realized painfully. I opened my eyes slowly, carefully. Once I made eye contact with him, I lost the ability to speak. My mouth opened and closed twice without a word escaping.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he acknowledged
in a low growl, stroking my cheek with his thumb.  His pupils expanded as he stared into my eyes. We just stood there, motionless, gazing at one another. Inching his face closer to mine, I felt my resolve being stripped away. “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you.”

“Xavier,” I breathed. My eyes dropped to his lips and lingered before moving back up
to his eyes. I licked my lips.

Inching
even closer, his steady breathing drew me in with each passing second. “If you don’t want this, if you don’t feel this, say no. Tell me to stop. Walk away. But if you don’t say no, if you don’t tell me tostop, if you don’t walk away, I will kiss you. Becaus
e
I’ve been thinking about what you’d taste like since our encounter in the elevator,” he whispered sexily, causing my entire lower body to clench tightly. With him pressed against me, I felt his hardness and suppressed a moan.

“
Xavier,” I mouthed, unable to talk. I blinked slowly and my breathing became labored. As much as I hated myself for it, I tipped my head upward slightly.

“That’s not a no,
Summer.” His nose grazed mine as his lips hovered a fraction of an inch away.

I stopped thinking. I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. Everything else faded away and it was just us
. The pent-up desire, the inexplicable run-ins, the heart palpitations and the raw emotions he brought out of me all culminated into that one moment. I licked my lips in anticipation.

             
“Summer?” Max called out loudly, startling us apart.

             
Ripping my eyes away from Xavier’s, I looked over to Max and then I looked back into the light blue eyes that managed to take my breath away every time I looked in them.  Keeping eye contact, I answered him, “Over here, Max.”

Xavier made me feel things I’d never felt before, but s
eeing Max put everything back into perspective.
Xavier has a girlfriend
.
He’s probably here on a date with her tonight,
I thought as I created space between us. Reminding myself that he had a girlfriend was also exactly what I needed to stop the throbbing between my thighs. I didn’t have to add insult to injury by hearing him say the words.

Hearing the words coming out of his mouth would hurt
,
I admitted as I watched Max walk over to us.
Just thinking about him telling me about his relationship is killing me. And I’m not willing to show him that. I’m not willing to be that open and vulnerable with anyone. Besides, what could he possible say to justify pursuing me while he is involved with someone? Nothing he could say would make it okay. And I’m just as bad. I have feelings for a man that I know is involved with another woman. Max came right on time,
I thought as I tried to read Xavier’s expression.

“So you weren’t lying about the boyfriend?” Xavier uttered in quiet disbelief. A stormy mix of emotions played out over his face before his jaw clenched.

             
Max reached us before I had a chance to respond. Clearing my throat, I introduced the two men to one another. “Maximillian Dunham, this is—.”

             
“Mr. Ford,” Xavier interrupted me with a curt nod. He extended his hand toward Max for a handshake.

             
Mr. Ford,
I repeated to myself as I drew my eyebrows together in confusion.

“Good to meet you, Mr. Ford
,” Max said almost nervously with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Call me Max.” He shook Xavier’s hand and an awkward silence followed.

             
Glancing at me briefly, Xavier’s expression was unreadable. He returned his icy blue stare to Max. “Nice to meet you as well.” The tenderness in his voice was gone and replaced with a brusqueness that I had never heard from him before. Glancing at his watch, he continued, “I need to get back to the gala.” Looking at each of us, he said, “Max. Summer.”

We stood silently and watched Xavier
walk away. Once he was through the double doors, Max turned to me with a hardened expression.

“I’m sorry
I was out here for so long,” I apologized, covering my face with my hands. “I was just—”

“Forget it,” Max interrupted, waving his hand in the air
. “I was just worried about you. But why does he look familiar? Where would I know him from?”

“I’m not sure.”

The sound of string instruments started and polite clapping immediately followed. “Hmm, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. Let’s get inside,” Max said, taking my arm and escorting me back inside the building.

**********

              As I struggled to not fall asleep in the darkened movie theater, I discreetly glanced over at Darren and thought,
Ryan Gosling? Seriously?

**********