Autum's Lost (A letting go series) (6 page)

Sunday I had my folks and Uncle Jon over for a BBQ. It was a beautiful sunny day. There was still a nip in the April air but the snow was gone except a few pockets here and there in a parking lot. The Wisconsin walleye fishing season was just around the corner and I planned on being there the day it opened. This was a family tradition that we did every year. Autum loved to catch fish; waiting for them to bite… not so much.

Mom comes inside from the deck, where Dad and Uncle Jon, are manning the grill “Addy, are you still tagging items for the garage sale? I see piles of clothes in the living room, and there are markers all over the floor.” My mom wrinkled her forehead as she walked through the kitchen.

“Yep, I am still tagging, I need to get Clarissa over here so I can have her tag and I can get more crap out of the closets.”
This is why I despise garage sales, so much work goes into them. You tag all the stuff super cheap so it sells, and then the crap that doesn’t sell you get the honor of loading all of it up and hauling it to the Charity Barn across town.

The doorbell rings and mom sings “I’ll get that.” She always sings that little ditty when she is answering the door, like it’s the song of her people.

“GRANDMA SUZIE!!!” I hear Clarissa’s voice carry through the house. I walk toward the living room and see my mom and Clarissa hugging like two happy bears.

“Oh my beautiful Clarissa, I missed you so much!” my mom says as she is kissing the top of her head.

“Grandma, I missed you too! Are you making frisky chicken? Because you know that’s the best stuff ever.” Clarissa laughs and gives my mom another hug. My mom is really the only grandma Clarissa has. Her mom Colette, the ‘slutty Frenchy’, as I call her packed up and left her and Michael when she was two for a French playboy billionaire. She is from France and so it didn’t surprise me that her and her roaming eyes never made it back to the states after she left for holiday. Michael’s mom Kathryn still lives in Surry, England so Clarissa only gets to see her every summer. She’s not a particularly warm woman, I only met her once but, as they say, first impressions are the ones that you remember. But, she adores Michael and is sweet to Clarissa and as a mother I can understand that. As for the steel crass outer shell, not so much.

“Clarissa dear, did you come to help tag Addy’s things, or did you just miss me?” my mom says with hope in her eyes.

“Well grandma, I was driving by, and I saw your car, so I knew you were cooking something and I’m not missing out on that lot!” Clarissa starts giggling and I have to turn away to take a breath. Autum and Clarissa’s voices mirror each other when they giggle so it hits me pretty hard.

“Addison, are you ok?” Clarissa steps up behind me with her hand on my back.

“Yes, my sweets, I am.” I turn around and give her a hug, forcing the tears to stay at bay.

“Grandma and I were just talking about you, so it’s just weird you stopped by.”

“I was over at Mel’s which is only a few blocks away, and saw the cars, so I thought I would do a surprise stop.” She is smiling and still hugging me.

“Well, I needed a helper, so you are just in time. Can you go out in the living room and start separating clothes, jeans in one pile and shirts in another, so on and so forth?”

“Absolutely, it’s on like Donkey Kong!” she announces excitedly. I shuffle to the back bedroom where I keep all the random shit that has been building up over the years. The closet is full of clothes I forgot about, from ugly 80’s Polo shirts- which I obviously thought were kick ass because I had my white washed jeans in a drawer, not one but five pairs of them suckers- my pregnancy coveralls, I was a blimp, so comfort was a must. I did manage to drop fifty pounds after Autum was born but my body has stayed at a size fourteen for years. That is its comfort zone. Yes I wiggle and jiggle when I walk and my boobs are a DD but I gave up being a beauty queen years ago. I turn and walk out of the room with an arm full of clothes and slam into six feet of Michael.

“Michael!” I yell dropping the top layer of clothes in my arms. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Michael bends down and picks up the clothes then looks up at me with shining hazel eyes and a smirk. “Addy, are you getting ready for eighty’s night some place, because I would kill to see you in these white washed trousers again.” He now has my size ten jeans in his hands holding them up like a prize still smirking.

“For your information Mr. Nosey, it’s called a garage sale, and the jeans you are holding there will never fit this old lady’s fat ass now or in the future. Besides, it’s the most undesirable part of my body.”

Michael steps closer grabbing the pile of clothes that are in my arms and is one inch from my face as he says quietly. “Your ass is perfect Addy, and it’s not old. It is round, and by the looks of it soft, and is all woman. It takes everything in me when you walk away not to get hard looking at it. So no more talk of you being old and undesirable. Yes?”

I can’t speak; my mouth is open and now I am breathing hard, like I just ran a freaking marathon.
Damn you Michael Crestmoore
! He leans closer to my ear, God he smells fantastic, my heart is beating like a drum, his lips are almost touching. Slowly and achingly he purrs. “Say… yes… Addy.” I close my eyes trying to regain my senses. As I was about to say yes, Clarissa’s voice starts calling from the living room.

“Dad, I need more clothes pronto.”

“Just speaking with Addy, flower, be there in a sec.”

I look up at Michael, he is smiling at me and his dimples are starting to show. I take the clothes from his arms and whisper, “Enjoy the show Mr. Crestmoore.”
I start walking down the hallway, and I hear a low groan and a chuckle follow.

As I walk into the living room with an arm full of clothes Clarissa has separated all the clothes into perfect piles. “As you can see Addy, I have piled the clothes into sections; sweaters, t-shirts, dress shirts, dresses and trousers.” I look at Clarissa shaking my head in approval.

“Clarissa this is awesome, so organized, one question though?”

“What’s that?” Clarissa tilts her head in question.

“Why do you call pants, trousers, but don’t call sweaters, jumpers?” Now my head is tilted.

She laughs, “Well that’s easy, my dad says trousers all the time, so I say trousers for pants and dress slacks but I call jeans that because that’s what they are. My dad calls sweaters, jumpers and he can’t give me a clear answer on why they are called that, I think it’s weird so I refuse to call them that.”

My mom walks up to me from the kitchen, “That makes perfect sense Clarissa, and I think Michael has nice trousers on tonight, don’t you Addy?” She winks at me- the little vixen- I can see through her match making words.

“I didn’t notice Michael’s
jeans
mom, I have been busy, and I don’t think Clarissa wants you talking about his jeans either. That might give her nightmares.”

To that statement Clarissa’s head pops up, “No nightmares here, though I will say Addy, that he does fancy those grey pinstripe ‘trousers’ of yours. How did he put it the other day, ‘that ass of hers could stop
traffic.” My mom and her burst out laughing, as I try in vain to hold in my smile. I shake my head and turn to walk away, and I notice Michael coming inside from out on the deck, sauntering towards me like a lion watching his prey. I give him an eye roll and irritated sigh.

“What’s all the hen cackling about?” he looks at me, back to Clarissa and then at my mom. My head is now looking at the ceiling wishing a hole would swallow me up, my mom has tears in her eyes and Clarissa is lying on top
of the pile of sweaters with her face in them muffling the sound of her laughter.

I continue toward the kitchen and start to pass by Michael, but stop and look up at him, “You never did tell me why you stopped by t
onight?” His smile widens and the laughter has stopped in the room.

“Clarissa called and said there was some sort of clothes issue. So I thought I would come over and see what I could help with. Remember, I
did say I would help you with anything
...
you needed Addy.” His smile widens and his dimples are on full display, the sexual tension is so palpable you could melt butter on it.

My traitorous body is fully tuned into Michael, thanks to his little ear whispering episode in the hallway, not to
mention he looks like a fucking well-aged Henry Cavill tonight. Yes I looked at the jeans, how could I not, the man spills out sexual hotness….Jesus, is that even correct word usage? All right Addy shut this little show down.

I look over at the two guilty parties and their faces are stone still and smiling. I look back at Michael and smile. “Well, my grey pin stripe trousers are in the wash, and I hear they make my ass look
fabulous
!” All I can hear is laughter behind me as I walk out onto the deck, and Michael’s voice booming with laughter over all of them.

Garage sale day came up fast on me, and as prepared as I thought I was, not so much was the case. Jess was in ripe form that day as was my mom and Clarissa. Word got out that I was planning on giving the proceeds to the local animal shelter and the neighborhood came out in spades to have a block multi-family sale. The volleyball team had a carwash planned, and we had my mom’s Old Nag’s book club there having a bake sale. It was a crisp Friday morning 7am sharp, the garage door opened and there was about ten people standing waiting to rummage through all my crap. Jess was walking out of the house with my mug of coffee in her hand and a Cheshire cat smile.

“Ok, what did you do?” I ask
, mock glaring at her.

“I have no idea what you are trying to accuse me of, and frankly, I don’t appreciate it. I come over here at the ass crack of dawn, and need I remind you, I am using a vacation day for this early morning stunt. Jessalyn doesn’t do early mornings and Jessalyn certainly doesn’t do accusations.” She is still smirking and I know she is up to something because she is talking in third person and hasn’t looked at me once.

“Well Jessalyn, better get over the third person talking rant or Addison will shove that mug up Jessalyn’s bum hole.” I look over her with my eyebrows raised looking all serious. Then we both burst out laughing.

I walk out of the garage onto the driveway and look down the sidewalk to see Michael walking toward my house. I turn around to ask Jess about him and I see her backside booking it across the street
. Good Lord she is a trouble maker! I turn back around to go help my mom and hear Michael’s footsteps getting closer and faster, "Good Morning Beautiful." Michael happily says and smiles as he grabs me by the waist turns me around and gives me a hug. "You smell wonderful," he whispers in my ear. I look up into his hazel eyes that now have streaks of emerald green in them, his smile lines around his eyes are deep and beautiful.

"Thanks, Britty, it’s called Cashmere Glow." As I say it low and in his ear. Michael steps back and looks at me with a serene look on his face. "What? What’s wrong?" I say with questioning concern.

"Nothing, it's just that you…you haven't called me that in a really long time." He looks at the ground as if contemplating something, and takes my hands that are now resting at his sides. He looks up at me, now completely serious "Addison, I want to take you out on a date, a proper one. I don't care where you want to go or what we do." I start to protest and pull away but he clamps down on my hands and pulls me closer. "I know you are not ready for us, and I respect and understand that. I
will.
Wait. Addy, I would wait forever for you.”
Holy shit did he just say forever?! “
Just know, that I am going to take you out one day soon, and it will be the best date that you have ever experienced. Also know this, I will never hurt you or betray your trust, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me." He kisses the top of my head, let’s go of my hands and turns to walk away down the sidewalk only stopping to chat with my mom's book club. I can't move because my legs are Jell-O and my heart has stopped in my chest and now my internal voice is sassing me;
He's beautiful and sweet and smart, Jesus Christ Addison just say yes, be fucking happy for once! GAH!

I hear loud gasps coming towards me. “HOLY MOTHER BUFFER!" Jess yells as she saunters towards me, her face is smiling and who is in tow with her, Clarissa. Great, all I need now is my mom with this duo.

"Awww my dad kissed your head Addy, that's so sweet." Clarissa is laughing and winks at me.

"Yes, that was sweet Clarissa," Jess chimes in "I wonder what she did to get a kiss? Must have been something very special." Jess and Clarissa are now smiling like they won the lottery and Clarissa is bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

"He was saying good morning you two, it was all G-rated so whatever you guys 'thought' was going on, just isn't so." I say in my most even and trying-to-convince-you voice.

Jess walks over to me, looks me up and down "That's a crock of crap and you know it! I don't know who you are trying to bullshit, but it's not me sister. He said something to you that made you blush and grab your chest when he walked away." Clarissa is nodding her head in agreement.