Bachelor Number Five (The Bachelor Series, Volume 1) (21 page)

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Forget it.”  She turned away, trying to hide her despair.

“It’s just that… you know…” he stammered.

“Don’t apologize.”  Amanda stood where she was.  It felt as though all of the air had been sucked from the room.  What a fool she had been.  Had she actually thought she might be the one to turn his freewheeling life around?  That was a fantasy destroyed by one terrified look.

“It’s my fault,” he said.

“No.  It’s nobody’s fault.”  She hurried out of the kitchen in shame, picked up her guitar and headed on out the front door.  When she burst into her own apartment a few seconds later, Lauren looked up from the kitchen table without a word.  Amanda hurried past and on into her own room, slamming the door behind her.

“I’m such an idiot,” Amanda said to Piper on the phone.

“Screw that guy!” Piper intoned.

“I did!  That’s the whole problem!”

“You know what I mean.  Forget about him!”

“I don’t know if I can, Piper.”

“How many people live in that city?  Like ten million?  There must be at least a half a million guys you could go out with.  I mean seriously!  What about number five?  You haven’t even met him yet!”

Amanda looked up from her bed at the photo of Grant Hutchinson, staring back with that same perpetual smile on his face.  “You’re such a goofball, Piper.”

“You’re the one who moved two thousand miles to look for number five!”

“Seriously, I was starting to have real feelings for Peter.  We got along so well.  We had fun.  I thought…”

“Please don’t tell me you thought he was
the one
?!”

“I don’t know what I thought.”

“Well whatever it was, forget it.  There’s no such thing as
the one
!”

“You don’t believe that.  What about Donny?  I know you guys love each other, no matter what you say.”

“Sure, maybe half the time.  The other half I can hardly stand his guts.  You do the best you can.  That’s how it is.”

Amanda took a deep breath.  “Before last night I thought a little meaningless sex might be fun.  No strings attached, you know?  People do that, right?  Then when I woke up this morning I couldn’t help thinking about spending the rest of my life with this guy.  I pictured us moving to a house in the suburbs with a playground in the backyard and a couple of kids running around.   You should have seen the look in his eyes when I tried to kiss him.  It was like he’d witnessed a murder or something.  I’ve never seen such horror on a man’s face.”

“Like I said, forget about him.  He’s not worth the heartache.  You’ll find somebody else.”

“I just wish he didn’t live next door.  Then again, my roommate is probably going to kick me out anyway.”

“I’ll tell you one thing, when you do find someone else, that guy next door is gonna be one sorry son-of-a-bitch.”

Amanda cracked her first smile of the day.  “Thanks, Piper.”

“Look, I gotta run, but I’ll talk to you again real soon!”

“All right.  See ya.”

When she’d hung up the phone, Amanda felt a fair bit better.  Talking to Piper had a way of doing that to her.  Piper always seemed able to put things in perspective.  That didn’t mean Peter’s reaction didn’t still sting, but Amanda was able to turn her attention to the more immediate issue.  She was going to have to face Lauren at some point.  The whole prospect filled her with apprehension.  Why should she have to feel guilty over this?  She didn’t owe Lauren anything.  She had nothing to apologize for.  Amanda clenched both of her fists.  She felt the veins in her forehead throbbing.  The only way to confront this situation was head on.  Amanda marched out of her room and straight into the kitchen where she found Lauren standing at the sink, rinsing her breakfast dishes.  “I’ve got something to say to you,” Amanda announced.

Lauren looked around with venom in her eyes.  She reached over to turn off the water and then faced Amanda with arms crossed, waiting.

“First off, I slept with him.  Second, it’s over.  Third, I’m not moving out.”

Lauren took in this information before tilting her head sideways.  “I hate to say I told you so.”

“No you don’t.”

Lauren turned back to the sink without another word.  That had gone better than Amanda expected.  No fighting, no arguments.  Amanda stood where she was a moment longer but when nothing more came she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.  She stripped her clothes off and waited for the water to heat up before climbing in, holding her face under the soothing jets and wishing they could wash away her cares.

Chapter Twenty-Four

For the rest of the week, Amanda did her best to avoid Peter altogether.  She peeked out the window before leaving her apartment to make sure he wasn’t in sight and then hurried down the stairs and away as fast as she could.  She did her laundry only when she knew he’d be at work.  She didn’t interact much with Lauren either.  They were barely on speaking terms.  Only the absolute necessities.  At least Amanda still had a place to live, and a job.  The restaurant was a refuge from all of the heartbreak and drama her life had taken on, with her fellow servers becoming a new, extended family.

Not that Amanda didn’t have allies in the apartment building.  Markus was still friendly.  He even gave her unsolicited advice.  “Don’t worry about Lauren, she’ll get over it.  These things just take time,” he’d said.  Amanda appreciated his concern.  Darren, likewise, didn’t seem to hold anything against her.  Nor Aaron.  Even Samantha across the way was friendly the one time they’d crossed paths.  At least everyone in the complex wasn’t ganging up on her.  As for Lauren, she’d have to follow Markus’ advice and hope that he was right.  In the meantime, she kept her eye on apartments for rent, just in case she reached the point where she couldn’t take it anymore.

When Friday rolled around, she was relieved that Darren and Lauren decided to have dinner out.  It gave Amanda the place to herself, to settle in and watch
The Bride
.  There he was yet again; Bachelor Number Five riding horses with that terrible woman and flashing his brilliant smile.  It made Amanda’s heart melt just laying eyes on him.  When he made the cut, she knew she had just a few more weeks.  If Amanda didn’t track Grant down soon, he might actually marry that bitch.  If nothing else, she wished she could warn him.  Maybe if she told him what she’d seen, he’d understand what a mistake a marriage to Scarlett would be.  But what could Amanda do to find him at this stage anyway?  She wasn’t about to search for him in the nightclubs anymore.  Likewise, she wouldn’t find him eating a late night chili cheeseburger.  Nor was there much chance that she’d run into him at the beach.  Her dream of finding Grant was disintegrating.  She’d tried.  She’d moved all the way here.  She’d followed all of her leads.  Now all she could do was hope that when Grant’s big moment came around, he’d turn down the million dollars and tell that cow to take a hike.

Amanda clicked off the television and was about to retreat back into her bedroom when she heard a light knock at the door.  Just the sound filled her with an irrational fear.  Who could that be?  She wasn’t expecting anyone.  “Who is it?” she called out.

“It’s me.  Peter.  Can we talk?”

Amanda froze.  There was nowhere to go.  Nowhere to hide.  She was trapped.  “What about?”

“Can you open the door?  Please?”

She considered telling him to go away, but in the end it was curiosity that got the best of her.  Besides, Amanda knew that she would have to face him eventually.  Better now, when Lauren was not at home.  She walked to the front door, turned the knob and pulled it open.  On the other side stood Peter in his usual attire; jeans and a dress shirt, sport coat over the top.  Just the sight of him made her feel weak in the knees.  “What do you want?” she said.

“I think we should talk,” he answered.

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

“Don’t do this to me, Amanda.  Can’t we go out for some coffee?  Maybe a drink somewhere?”

“Whatever you have to say, you can say it right here.”

“I don’t think I can.  How about the Starlight Café?  Can I buy you a coffee?”

Amanda didn’t answer.  The whole idea sounded like a dangerous proposition.  What could he possibly say that would make her feel any better?

“I know you’ve been avoiding me,” Peter added.

“I have not.”

“You have, ever since you ran off the other morning.”

“All right, maybe I haven’t been so eager to chat, but can you blame me?”

“No, I don’t blame you at all.  That’s what I want to talk about.”  He stood staring at her for a few more seconds.  “Please?”

“Fine,” Amanda gave in.  “I’ll go to the café.”

“Thank you.”  He seemed genuinely relieved.

Amanda went back into her room and grabbed a red sweater, pulling it on over her shirt.  She picked up her purse from the top of her dresser and came back out.  “Let’s go,” she said with determination as she scooted past him out the door.  Was it wrong to have the faintest glimmer of hope?  Wrong or not, it was there.  Amanda knew she’d better be careful, lest it get the best of her.

When they approached the parking spaces behind the building, Samantha was standing behind her blue BMW unloading bags of groceries.  Navy blue business suit, wavy brown hair, pretty features.  She had never been anything but friendly to Amanda during their few brief interactions, though seeing her now seemed a bad omen.  This woman represented all of the gossip and drama surrounding Peter and this building and all of the other women in his life.

“Hey, Sam, how’s it going?” Peter said to her.

“Oh, hey Peter.  Not bad, you?”  With bags in one hand she managed to press a button on her keychain and the trunk slowly closed.

“Good.  Have you met Amanda yet?  She’s Lauren’s new roommate.”

“Not officially, but I’ve seen her around.”

“This is Samantha,” Peter said to Amanda.

“Nice to meet you,” said Amanda.

“Thanks!  I’d shake your hand but…”

“No, don’t worry about it!”

“I hope you’re enjoying your new digs.”

“Very much, thank you.”

“Great, I’ll see you guys around!”  Samantha gave them both a smile as she walked past and then continued up the path.

“You two seem to get along all right,” said Amanda.

“Why shouldn’t we?” Peter asked.

“No reason, I guess.”  Maybe there wasn’t so much drama here after all.  And not such a bad omen.  Amanda wouldn’t get her hopes too high, but she wasn’t about to dash them yet either.  She would keep an open mind.  Maybe this was what Peter was after.  Détente.  The prospect of living in the same building and still being friends, despite what had happened between them.

When they walked into the café, the woman who’d held the clipboard the previous Sunday was working behind the counter.  Her face lit up with recognition when she saw Amanda.  “Hey, look who’s here!  Are you going to come back and sing for us this week?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t know.  I’ll have to see,” Amanda replied.

“There will certainly be a lot of disappointed people if you don’t show up!”

“You’re very kind,” said Amanda.

The woman looked to Peter.  “Maybe you can work on her for me?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“What will you guys have?  This one’s on me.”

“No, really, you don’t have to,” said Amanda.

“It’s my place, I can do what I want.  Now what will you have?”

Peter and Amanda looked at each other and then back to the woman.  “Vanilla latte?” Amanda replied.

“I’ll have a mocha,” said Peter.

“You got it, go ahead and find a table, I’ll bring them out.”

“Thank you,” said Amanda.  “What’s your name?”

“Grace.”

“I’m Amanda.”

“I remember.”

“This is Peter.”

“Nice to meet you, Peter.  Go ahead, sit down.”

Peter and Amanda moved to the other side of the room, where they’d have some space to themselves.  Amanda steeled herself to take in whatever it was that he had to tell her.  Clearly he didn’t want to be involved.  That wasn’t his style.  Peter wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted to settle down.  He was the classic commitment-phobe.  At the same time, he didn’t want to be enemies either.  Amanda got that.  They lived next door to each other.  It was hard enough for him with Lauren.  He didn’t need Amanda against him, too.  The problem was that after what had happened between them, Amanda wasn’t sure she could take that step backwards.  Life would be easier if she could pretend to herself that the whole thing was no big deal, but Amanda would never be able look at Peter in the same way again.  She wanted too much more.  Casual meaningless sex between friends had seemed like such a good idea at the time.  No complications, no emotions.  Perhaps that was the ultimate difference between men and women.  Men could shut off those emotions.  Amanda could not.  She was fairly sure that’s what Peter was going to ask of her anyway.  All that was left was to hear it.