Bachelor Number Five (The Bachelor Series, Volume 1) (26 page)

Lauren cut a piece of sliced turkey.  “Would it kill you to say hello to the guy?”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Does it sound like I’m kidding?”

Amanda nearly laughed out loud.  “Last I heard you were threatening to kick me out of this place if I had anything to do with Peter.  Now you’re giving me a hard time because I haven’t said hello?”

“I guess I changed my mind.”

“Why in the world would you do that?”  Amanda’s disbelief was obvious.

“Because, I can’t stand seeing the two of you so miserable.  It’s depressing.”

“I’m sorry to ruin your day.”

Lauren ate a few bites of her dinner in silence.  The tension between them was oppressive.  “I know you’re not in the mood to hear advice from me,” she finally said.  “And heaven knows I’m an unlikely source, but I’ve got something to say and damn it all if I’m not going to say it.”

Amanda looked at her roommate.  Aside from leaving the room it appeared that she had no choice but to hear her out.  “I hope this isn’t about Peter.”

“Not directly.  It’s about you,” said Lauren.  “It’s about finding your own happiness from within and not relying on someone else for it.”

“Where is this coming from?!”

“I know how it is.  I was the same way for a long time, thinking that love was the answer to all of my problems.  It’s why I was so obsessed with Peter.  It’s why you’ve been so obsessed with this bachelor guy, and believe me, I know how obsessed you’ve been with this bachelor guy.”

“This bachelor guy, as you call him, nearly raped me up on Mulholland Drive the other night.”

“Oh.  So that’s who it was.”  Lauren was shocked to hear this tidbit.

“Yes, that’s who it was!”  Amanda said it as though she’d won a point in the argument.

“I’m sorry about that.  Really, I am.”

“Yeah, well don’t tell me how obsessed I am about him anymore.”

“Obviously not, but that doesn’t change what I’m trying to tell you.  In fact, I think it only strengthens my point.  You shouldn’t have to rely on some guy like this to be happy.  That’s all I’m trying to say.  The secret to happiness exists within yourself.  Once you find that, the rest will come.”

“I’ll give you one thing, you are an unlikely source.”

“I know I am, believe me, but I’ve been thinking a lot about these things lately.  I’m starting to see my own mistakes for what they are, and I think maybe you’re making some of the same mistakes.  Life is not so bad.  It’s no good waiting around for someone else’s approval to realize that.  You need to look inside, to accept the fact that you’re doing great all on your own.  Things are actually pretty darned good, if you think about it.  Am I right, or what?”

Amanda stood where she was, considering her roommate’s words.  It dawned on her that Lauren was actually right.  Life
was
pretty good.  Maybe things with Grant hadn’t gone as planned, and perhaps they were a bit rocky with Peter as well, but Amanda was standing on her own two feet.  Why
was
she so caught up in this idea that she needed a boyfriend to be happy?  Where did that come from, anyway?  If she could strip these concerns away, things really weren’t so bad.  “Maybe you’re not such a terrible source of wisdom after all,” Amanda admitted.

Lauren’s face lit up at the off-handed compliment.  “Ok, chalk one up for me then.”

“I’ve been moping around here for nothing, haven’t I?”

“I’m just saying…”

“I mean, I could still be out in Quincy, right?  Eating ice cream by myself on a Friday night.  Just me and the cat.”

“You could be.”

Amanda turned off the burner under her sauce.  “Nothing against the cat.  I do miss my cat.”

“Of course,” Lauren agreed.

“Why do I need a man to be happy?!”

“You don’t!”

“Hell no, I don’t!”  This time Amada did laugh.

“All the same, I do think you and Peter would make a pretty good couple.”

Amanda raised her hands in disbelief.  “Oh, Lauren, you’re killing me here!”

“I know, right?  I totally get that, but why can’t you be happy all on your own and still go out with Peter?”

“I still can’t believe you’re encouraging this.”

“Me neither, to be honest.”

“Well it doesn’t matter anyway.  After the way I’ve blown him off the past few days I think that ship has sailed.”

“You wouldn’t think so if you saw what I saw.  All of this playing hard to get is killing him.”

Amanda considered this information.  “So what am I supposed to do?  March right over there and claim him?”

Lauren raised her eyebrows.  “That might do it.”

“He’d probably think I was just desperate.”

“I doubt it.  Anyway, you just need to ask yourself, do you want this or not?!”

“Yes.  I want it.”  Amanda nodded slowly.

“So go and get it then.  Tell him how you feel, and be happy knowing that you were honest, no matter the outcome.”

“Right,” Amanda said, but she didn’t move.

“What’s wrong?”

“You want me to walk over there right now?  Right this minute?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I mean… I’m in the middle of cooking my dinner!”

“Exactly.  The truth is, I want your pasta,” Lauren joked.  “Have some confidence, girl!  Get on over there!”

Amanda took a deep breath.  Lauren was right once again.  She might go down in flames, but it was time for Amanda to lay her cards on the table.  It was time to talk to Peter.  “Thanks, Lauren,” she said.  “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck.”

“I wish I had a better idea what to say…”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“I hope so.”  Amanda walked through the apartment, out the door and on down the landing.  She stopped at Peter’s door, pausing for just a moment before raising a fist to knock three times.

Chapter Thirty

“Look who’s here.”  Peter stood with one hand on the door, as though he might swing it back shut at any moment.  “I didn’t think you were talking to me.”

“Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Amanda answered, trying not to wither under his hostility.

“I’m sorry, but shouldn’t you be off with your surfer boy?”

Amanda straightened her posture.  She wasn’t about to give up.  Not by a long shot.  “Move aside, I’m coming in!”

Peter gave a curious look before obeying her command, stepping back to let her pass.  Amanda moved into the living room and spun around, waiting until he’d closed the door before she spoke again.  “Let’s get a few things straight,” she said.  “First of all, there is nothing going on between me and that son-of-a-bitch.  He’s lucky I don’t press charges!”

“What do you mean…?”  Peter seemed chastened.  “What did he do?!”

“It’s more what he tried to do,” Amanda said quietly.

Peter moved to his chair and plopped himself down.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  He stared straight ahead across the room.

Amanda took a seat on the couch.  “I wanted to.  I was ashamed.”

“What for?”  Peter turned to look at her.

“I felt dirty, like what happened was somehow my fault.  I’m such a fool…” her voice trailed away.

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.  I know that it is.”

Peter took one hand and ran it through his hair.  His demeanor had softened.  Whatever defensiveness he’d been harboring dissipated.  “Look, I’m sorry.  I had no idea.”

“How could you have?”  To Amanda, Peter looked like he was settling in for a psychiatric session.  He propped his feet up on the coffee table and clasped his hands together, brow furrowed in concentration.

“I thought I’d lost you.  I was so jealous I could hardly stand it,” Peter said to her.

“Jealous…” Amanda repeated the word, mostly to herself.

“I’ve been miserable, Amanda.  These last couple of days...”  Peter shook his head in disbelief.  “I never thought I’d feel this way, about anyone.  Looking for love, that was your thing, not mine.”

From her place on the couch, Amanda felt as though her whole body was tingling.  How many times had she tried to picture that precise moment when she’d know it had happened?  When she’d realize that this one particular person in front of her was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with?  And that he wanted her, too, just as deeply?   It was the reason she’d left Quincy in the first place, knowing that she’d never meet her true love in that small town.  Now here she was, sitting on the couch at her next-door-neighbor’s apartment and realizing that this was the moment.  She was in love.  Deep, desperate, binding love.  Amanda looked Peter in the eye.  “You didn’t lose me,” she said with conviction.

Peter processed everything that was happening.  “So where does this leave us?”

Amanda stood to face him.  “At the beginning?” she answered.

Peter rose from his chair, as though lifted by invisible strings.  He put his hands on Amanda’s hips, one on either side.  Without another word, he leaned close and wrapped his arms around her.  Amanda held him tightly, closing her eyes as she buried her face against his shoulder.  What she’d been searching after for so long, she’d found.  She was Peter’s, and Peter was hers.

Chapter Thirty-One

“Have you called him yet?”  Amanda sat on her bed, talking to Piper on the phone.

“No, I haven’t called him.”

“Why not?!  Do you know what it took for me to get that number?”

“Yeah, but it was more fun when the whole thing was just make-believe.”

“I know what you mean,” Amanda agreed.  “Peeking behind the curtain can be a painful experience.”

“What if number nine ends up being just like number five?”

“I don’t blame you for not calling him, Piper.  Just don’t say I never did anything for you!”

“How could I ever say that?”

“And if you do break down and call him, I better be the first to know!”

“Are you going to watch the grand finale tonight?” Piper asked.

“I couldn’t.  I don’t care what happens to him anymore.  I hope he does marry her.  They deserve each other.”

“Too true.”

“We’re having movie night over here.  My neighbors are all in the living room waiting for me.”

“I’m still gonna watch the show,” said Piper.  “I’ll admit it. I gotta see how it ends.”

“You can tell me all about it afterwards, if you want to.”

“I’m real happy everything worked out for you with next-door guy.  You tell him he better treat you right or I’m coming out there to whup his behind!”

“Come out anyway!” said Amanda.

“Oh, I don’t think so.  You know I’m not a big city kind of girl.”

“You’d love it out here, I swear!”

Piper grumbled to herself.  “I’ll think about it.”

“You do that.”

“All right.  Thanks for the call.  I’m gonna go take one last look at number nine.  You know all the bachelors are gonna be there, right?  Wedding guests.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Maybe I’ll text him while the show is on, just to see what happens.”  Piper’s devious streak shone through.

“You always were a trouble maker.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“One of the reasons, anyway.  I’ll talk to you soon, Piper.”

“Bye, bye, hun.”

Amanda hung up the phone and placed it on her desk.  She walked into the living room to find Lauren on the couch, leaning back against Darren.  Beside them sat Markus.  Aaron was on the floor.  Peter had the lounge chair all to himself.

“There she is!” said Lauren. 

Markus held the remote.  “You ready to get started?”

“You didn’t have to wait for me.”

Markus scowled and shook his head, dismissing her comment.  He pressed play and turned up the volume as the film’s opening credits began to roll.  Amanda smiled at Peter.  “Is there room for two on that chair?”

“Absolutely,” he replied.

Amanda lowered herself onto Peter’s lap.  “Are you sure you’re ok like that?” she asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Couldn’t be better.”

Amanda looked around the room.  Just a month and a half earlier she’d been standing in the checkout line at the Quincy Market starting at a tabloid photo of Bachelor Number Five.  It was a moment that had changed her life, though not in ways she ever could have imagined.  She felt a surge of well-being.  She’d taken a gamble, but everything had worked out fine.  Amanda fit in here.  She had friends.  She had a life.  On top of all of that, she had Peter.  There would be no turning back.  She settled into his lap, took one of his hands in her own and breathed a deep and happy sigh of contentment.

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Bachelor Number Five
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