Beau Jest (8 page)

SARAH. I’m not hungry.

CHRIS. Something to drink?

SARAH. No, thank you.

(
BOB and CHRIS watch her for a moment
.)

CHRIS. (
To Sarah
.) You know, I meant it when I said I was willing to convert.

BOB. Cut her some slack, will you?

CHRIS. I’m just trying to take her mind off her troubles.

BOB. Yeah, well, I’m willing to convert, too, so you get no points for that.

CHRIS. But I’m willing to become Orthodox.

BOB. Oh, yeah? Well, I’m thinking of becoming a rabbi.

CHRIS. You are not.

BOB. All right, I’m not. But I am thinking I want to have a Bar Mitzvah.

CHRIS. I’m thinking of changing my name.

BOB. To what? “Cringle-stein?” My name already sounds Jewish.

CHRIS. I’m willing to get circumcised!

BOB. (
Taken aback
.) You’re not circumcised?

CHRIS. No. Are you?

BOB. Certainly.

CHRIS. Well, it’s not a law.

BOB. It is if you’re Jewish. Show’s how much
you
know.

SARAH. Would you guys please ...?!

BOB. Would you like us to leave?

SARAH. No, I don’t care. (
SHE looks at them
.) I do appreciate your staying with me.

(
The DOORBELL rings. SARAH goes to the door and opens it. JOEL is there
.)

JOEL. Hi.

SARAH. Hi.

(
MIRIAM enters behind Joel
.)

SARAH. Mom. Are you all right?

MIRIAM. I’m all right. I’m all right.

SARAH. Where’s Daddy?

MIRIAM. He’s in the car.

JOEL. He won’t come up.

SARAH. Oh, God. (
To Miriam
.) You didn’t have to come up. Joel could bring you your purse.

JOEL. She says she has something to say to you.

MIRIAM. Where’s my purse?

SARAH. It’s right here. (
SHE goes to get the purse and brings it to Miriam
.)

BOB. How you doing, Joel?

JOEL. Hi.

CHRIS. Is everything all right?

JOEL. All things considered.

MIRIAM. (
Takes her purse from Sarah
.) Sarah, whatever we did to make you so unhappy, we apologize.

SARAH. You don’t have to apologize. I want you to treat me like an adult, but I haven’t been acting like one.

MIRIAM. Whatever you want to do, you do.

(
SARAH and MIRIAM hug
.)

SARAH. You know what I’d like to do? I’d like us to get to know each other.

MIRIAM. We don’t know each other? I talk to you every day.

SARAH. We talk, but what do we talk about? We talk like a mother and daughter. I’d like you to tell me about your life. And I could tell you things about my life you wouldn’t believe. (
SHE gets an idea
.) How about having lunch together tomorrow?

MIRIAM. Tomorrow, I go to the cemetery. It’s yahrzeit for Papa.

SARAH. May I go with you?

MIRIAM. No, you don’t want to go.

SARAH. Yes. I would like to go.

(
The DOORBELL rings. SARAH goes to the door and opens it. ABE is there
.)

SARAH. Daddy...

ABE. Miriam. I’m in the car.

MIRIAM. Abe, come in.

ABE. I’m not coming in.

SARAH. Daddy, please?

ABE. I don’t come in where I’m not welcome.

SARAH. Dad, come in, please. I’ll make you some tea.

ABE. You don’t have to make me tea.

SARAH. I know I don’t have to. I want to. Please. Come in. We’ll sit. We’ll talk. I need to talk to you.

MIRIAM. Abe. She needs to talk to you.

ABE. What do you want to talk about?

SARAH. Would you come in, please?

(
ABE takes one step in
.)

ABE. I’m in.

SARAH. Would you please sit down?

MIRIAM. Abe ...

SARAH. (
Stopping Miriam
.) Mother. (
To Abe, more dynamically than we’ve ever heard her
.) Sit down!

(
ABE sits
.)

SARAH. (
To Joel
.) Joel, would you put up the teapot, please?

(
JOEL exits to the kitchen
.)

SARAH. Dad. I love you. Sometimes, I’ve been so afraid of losing your love that I’ve acted stupidly and thoughtlessly and didn’t treat your love with the respect it deserves. I sat up all night thinking, “What is the best way for me to express my love for you?” From now on, I want to be honest with you. And I want you to be honest with me.

ABE. I’m honest.

SARAH. Not always. Not completely. You didn’t tell me about your being held up.

MIRIAM. We wouldn’t want you to worry.

SARAH. Exactly.

(
JOEL enters from the kitchen
.)

SARAH. We’re always so worried about having somebody worry about us. Trust me, all right? I want to know what’s going on in your life. Let me decide whether or not I should worry. And I promise I’ll let you know what’s going on in my life.

ABE. What is going on in your life?

SARAH. Oh. Excuse me. (
To Chris
.) Chris. You are the kindest, sweetest man I have ever known. You’ve given me more support and understanding than I deserve and I will always love you for that. But I’m not going to marry you.

CHRIS. I see.

SARAH. (
To Bob
.) Bob. I’m not going to marry you either.

BOB. Okay.

SARAH. Not right now.

BOB. Okay.

SARAH. I don’t know why you came into my life at this particular time ...

BOB. You called.

SARAH. I’m very glad I did. And I would like you to be my official and very conspicuous boyfriend.

BOB. I can do that.

SARAH. That would make me very happy.

CHRIS. Well, I guess I’ll, um ... (
HE starts to go
.)

SARAH. You don’t have to go.

CHRIS. No, I think I will. (
Saying goodbye
.) Mr. Goldman. Mrs. Goldman. Joel. (
To Bob
.) You ... Be good to her.

BOB. Count on it.

CHRIS. Sarah.

SARAH. Thank you.

(
CHRIS exits
.)

BOB. Well, I think I’ll make my exit here myself. I’m going to go to the escort service ... and resign.

SARAH. Wait a minute.

BOB. Spend some time with your family. I’ll call you later.

SARAH. (
Insistent
.) Wait a minute. (
Takes Bob by the hand
.) Mom. Dad. Joel. I would like you to meet my boyfriend. This is Bob Schroeder.

BOB. Hi.

MIRIAM. “Schroeder?”

BOB. It’s not. I checked. (
To Sarah
.) Now, if you’ll excuse me ... (
HE starts to go
.)

MIRIAM. (
To Abe
.) Abe ...

ABE. (
To Bob
.) David ...

BOB. (
To Abe
.) Bob.

ABE. Whatever. (
HE considers Bob
.) From acting you make a living?

BOB. Sometimes.

ABE. Oy. (
HE continues
.) You’re out of town a lot?

BOB. Not if I have a reason to stay home.

ABE. Is there
anythιng
we’ve heard about you that’s true?

BOB. Two things. I really love opera. And I really love Sarah.

ABE. (
Referring to a chair
.) Sit down.

BOB. Thank you.

SARAH. (
To Abe and Miriam
.) Have you eaten? I still have all the food from last night.

MIRIAM. (
Referring to Abe
.) The doctor says he has to watch what he eats.

SARAH. How much cholesterol can there be in kugel?

ABE. (
HE smiles
) Not too much.

SARAH. I’ll throw everything into the mιcrowave. It’ll take a second.

MIRIAM. Don’t put it in the microwave. It doesn’t taste rιght from the mιcrowave.

SARAH. Mother. We agree we aren’t going to hold things back from each other, rιght?

MIRIAM. Rιght.

SARAH. Good. So sit down, relax, and I’m going to go zap the kugel.

ABE. Let’s eat!

JOEL. Let’s eat!

(
EVERYONE moves to the table
)

MIRIAM. (
To Bob
) So, Bobby. What kind of acting do you do?

BOB. Oh, you know ... Whatever comes up. Stage. Screen.

MIRIAM. Are you in anything nght now?

BOB. Not right now. But this summer, I’ll be working at the Candlelight Playhouse. They’re doing a revival of
Fiddler on the Roof
.

MIRIAM. Oh, I love
Fiddler on the Roof
.

ABE.
That’s
a good show.

MIRIAM. Which part are you playing?

BOB. Perchik, the student.

ABE. You’re playing a Jew?

JOEL. Who’d believe that?

(
SARAH has brought out food and sits next to Bob
.)

MIRIAM. (
To Bob
.) Maybe you could get us a couple of tickets?

SARAH. Mother.

MIRIAM. We’ll pay for them.

BOB. I can get you a couple of tickets.

ABE. Last time we saw
Fiddler
was at the Candlelight Playhouse.

MIRIAM. It was the Drury Lane.

ABE. It was the Candlelight.

(
LIGHTS start to fade
.)

MIRIAM. We saw
Fiddler
at the Drury Lane.

ABE. I don’t think it was the Drury Lane.

MIRIAM. We saw
My Fair Lady
at the Candlelight. We saw
Cats
at the Marriot. We saw
Fiddler
at the Drury Lane.

ABE. We saw
Cats
at the Drury Lane.

MIRIAM. We saw
Cats
at the Marriot.

(
Fade to BLACK
)

End of Play

James Sherman has proven to be one of the most popular playwrights to emerge from Victory Gardens Theater. His writing is both funny and universal in its approach.
Beau Jest
is a play in which Judaism might be considered to be a major theme and yet, I think the play is far more concerned with the behavior that exists between parents and their children. The central focus in the initial production was Sarah Goldman’s “Coming of Age.”

The script is written in a three act form, and as such, it has a somewhat classical structure. We, the audience, are presented with a situation, a complιcation, a climax, and a denouement. We experience a disordered world which is returned to order and Sherman allows the audience to experience mirth without taking a pejorative attitude to any particular character or characters.

It has been suggested that theater style in Chicago is a cross between Stanislavski and Second City. Chicago theater artists are concerned with honesty of emotion and also tend to feel comfortable with the process and results of improvisation. James Sherman is no exception to this; as a member of The Second City Company, he was conditioned to “write on his feet.” Consequently, his work is humorous, immediate, and designed to be only as long as the writer’s objective requires.

Since Sherman is a man of the theater, his plays are often balanced between “theatrical” characters and viewpoints and those of the “real world.” The pleasure of
Beau Jest
is in viewing Bob, an actor, making the best of a difficult situation while, at the same time, seeing him share in the joyous contribution of Jewish culture—L’chaim.

Dennis Zacek
Artistic Director
Victory Gardens Theater

June 1990

SARAH

ACT I

Burgundy silk jacquard blouse, burgundy and navy jacquard pleated skirt, navy pumps, taupe hose, gold hoop earrings, gold watch

ACT II

Magenta and white, 2-piece dress, navy pumps, taupe hose, silver earrings

ACT III, Sc 1

Lt periwinkle terrycloth robe, blue towel, grey bunny slippers

ACT III, Sc 2

Navy blue knit turtleneck dress w/matching belt, navy pumps, gold hoop earrιngs, gold watch

MIRIAM

ACT I

Royal blue print sweater w/matchιng skirt, half slip, mink jacket, black heels, taupe hose, gold ball earrings, gold wedding rings, black purse

ACT II

Floral print georgette dress w/black patent belt, It grey trench coat w/burgundy lining, silver earrings

ACT III

Red and blue print dress w/matching belt, same trench coat as Act II, gold and pearl earrings, pearl necklace

BOB

ACT I

Blue glen plaid 2-piece suιt, white stripped shirt, khaki belted trench coat, black wιngtips, grey-blue checked socks, blue print tie, black belt

ACT II

Same suit as Act I, tattersall shirt, same trench coat and shoes, as Act I, burgundy print tie

ACT III

Blue-grey plaid sport coat, charcoal pleated trousers, blue oxford button down shirt, black suede wιngtips, burgundy striped knit tie, grey belt

ABE

ACT I

Black and whιte herringbone sport coat, dk grey trousers, blue stιped shirt, khaki trench coat, black slip-ons, over-the calf grey socks, grey and burgundy striped suspenders, blue striped tιe

ACT II

Grey 2-piece suit, whιle striped shirt, same trench coat and shoes as Act I, burgundy suspenders, blue & grey print tιe, white handkerchief

ACT III

Repeat sport coat & trousers at Act II, It grey oxford button down shirt, same trench coat and shoes as previous act, burgundy print tie

JOEL

ACT I

Brown herringbone sport coat, brown wool trousers, beige button down shirt, tan, teal & purple sweater, brown slip-on shoes, brown sock, tan belt

ACT II

Charcoal pinstriped, 2-piece suit, white striped shirt, black wingtips, black socks, black belt, navy print ue

ACT III

Charcoal corduroy trousers, grey print sweater, It. tan shirt, It grey wind breaker, previous shoes

CHRIS

ACT I

Navy blue 2-piece suit , white striped shirt, khaki trench coat, black kiltie slip-on shoes, black cotton socks, burgund print ue, blue suspenders

ACT II

Charcoal & brown plaid sport coat, charcoal pleated trousers, blue oxford button down shirt, previous trench coat & shoes, burgundy tie, burgundy suspenders

ACT III

Burgundy Izod shirt, grey levi jeans, grey & yellow windbreaker, running shoes, grey sweat socks