Betrayal (14 page)

‘Thank you’ I mumble.’ I made a shepherd’s
pie I didn’t know if you would have eaten’

‘I am starving’ his eyes light up, ‘I just
want to take a peek at the twins’ he trots up the stairs with his bag and I
hear him creep in on the monitor.

‘Hello babies’ he murmurs quietly and I
feel emotional he loves our babies.

‘Ooops don’t wake up Ava mummy won’t be
pleased’ I hear a gurgling as I smile shaking my head he is hopeless.

I am not surprised when he descends the
stairs with Ava against his chest a grin on his face.  ‘That’s why she cries
all the time you spoil her’ I attempt to scold him but my head is tilted
towards them as I grab my phone and take yet another picture.

We sit at the table in the kitchen as I
dish out some dinner for Brad who refuses to pass Ava over, ‘no you have had
her all week’ he reminds me.

‘You can’t eat with her there’ she sniffles
against his neck and I feel tears prick behind my eyes.  I know exactly how you
feel Ava I want to express there is no better place than Brad’s neck.

‘You ok?  You still hormonal’ his fork
stills halfway up as his eyes regard me with concern.

‘I guess’ I stand and pull a tissue out
dabbing my eyes, ‘take no notice’

‘You should actually take her in case I
burn her’ he hands her over and I snuggle her into my neck.  She wriggles a bit
before settling.

‘Not quite daddy Ava’ I kiss her inhaling
her scent as I watch Brad from across the table. 

He smiles, ‘you ok?’

‘I am’ he appears different more like the
Brad from Antigua and my insides respond by churning as they used to when our
eyes met across a room.

‘This is great’ he points towards the
dinner plate, ‘have you had some?’

‘No I had a salad earlier’

‘Don’t be dieting now.  The babies need
nutrition’ he states frowning.

‘I know, I also want to get my figure back’
I mutter irritated.

‘Your figure was too small’ he states.

‘I don’t remember you complaining’ I snap
hurt by his words.

His eyes find mine but I avert mine
immediately standing to open the fridge, ‘do you want a beer or anything?’

‘No, tea would be good please’ his voice
has lowered and I regret my words that have caused us to revert to politeness.

While I tidy up Brad takes Ava and moves
upstairs to change her and check on Harry.  When he reappears he has the both
of them, one on each shoulder.

‘Brad’ I laugh, ‘did you wake him?’

‘No, he gurgled and I thought he may be
feeling left out’ he appears amused and I think the awkward moment has passed. 

‘Funny how I never heard him on the
monitor’ I tease him.

‘The photos are lovely’ he speaks in a low
voice and I turn around.

‘I thought that maybe their daddy may wish
to take a few professional ones eventually when his feet have landed from the
cloud he has been drifting on for the past few weeks’ I smile over to him.

‘I will. I brought my camera this time’ he
promises 'but they are lovely anyway thank you’

‘I thought when you are absent they can be
assured you love them’ I explain.

‘I do’ his eyes find mine.

‘I know you do, you are smitten’ I had a
couple of my favorite photos enlarged and framed of Brad and the twins for the
nursery ‘so when are the Thompson clan arriving?’ I ask filling the silence.

‘Tomorrow lunchtime.  You sure this is ok?’
he appears anxious.

‘Of course, as you are always reminding me they
are your babies too.  Would you prefer it if I disappeared for a bit?’ the
thought had been rolling around in my mind since he mentioned it.

‘No! Of course not why would I? They want
to meet you too’ he appears annoyed.

‘Why do they?’ I shrug, ‘them knowing the
twins isn’t really my concern is it?’

‘Well because firstly I want them to meet
you and secondly I kind of told them we were together’ his eyes penetrate mine
as I absorb his words.

‘Why?’ I shock.

‘Because it was easier to be honest.  I informed
them that we had met in Antigua and I had only just recently found out you were
pregnant and we decided to give things a go’

‘That doesn’t make sense Brad, why would
you do that? This isn’t the fifties’

‘Plus I didn’t want my brothers hitting on
you’ his mouth thins and I suddenly comprehend.

‘And you consider I would be remotely
interested in someone that could do what he did to you? The father of my
babies? Wow, you think even less of me than I imagined’ I am deeply wounded of
his perception of me.

‘No! I just don’t want them attempting to
hook up with you’ he is obviously embarrassed by his thought process because he
cannot meet my gaze.  ‘You don’t know what they are like…’

‘Your opinion of me aside Brad do you
honestly think that would prevent your brother?  I mean he screwed your wife in
your house so the fact that he believes we are together is neither here or
there really’

He appears agitated ‘I want to reassure my
parent’s that I am in a stable relationship they aren’t getting any younger and
my mum worries about me and my nomadic tendencies.  And to be honest I want my
brothers to think I had the last laugh’

‘God and I thought I was fucked up’ I
mumble.

‘I don’t recall notifying you I wasn’t.  In
fact I distinctly remember advising you that anyone who had experienced a relationship
is fucked up’ he reminds me ‘I am tired of being the family screw up!’

‘So are they all coming?’ I compute his
words.

‘Except my sister, is that ok?  At least if
they arrive together it is over and done with’

I sigh ‘do you want me to do lunch?’

‘No I thought we would eat down at the fish
restaurant by the beach.  If we wait until the babies have been fed they should
sleep for a bit shouldn’t they?’

‘I guess’ I mutter as my brain works
overtime.

‘Are you mad?’ he probes.

‘I am a bit disappointed that you have such
a low opinion of me Brad.  I thought you knew me a little better by now. 
Surely you have realized that what I did was extremely out of character for me’

‘I do! I haven’t a low opinion of you…this
isn’t about you.  This is my fuck up! After Daniel…. and then Jake got with
Charlotte and we all endured the dramas that accompanied that.  I am the eldest
and yet none of them depend on me they walk on eggshells around me anxious that
I am going to tip over the edge.  I chose to work away to escape all the sympathetic
looks at the thought of poor Brad failing at the real world’

‘Is that what you think you failed?’ I
shock.

‘How else would you label it?  I couldn’t
save my son and couldn’t keep my wife satisfied’ he shrugs his eyes dropping.

‘I may be talking out of turn here Brad but
I doubt your wife screwing your brother was anything to do with your virility!
And I speak from firsthand knowledge.  And as tragic as it is babies die it is
a distressing fact but it happens.  All we have to do is the best we can to
keep them safe, did he die from cot death?’

‘Yes’ his face appears bleak.

‘That is awful and I imagine from your
behavior you found him?’ I probe gently.

He nods.

‘Maybe your family don’t pity you Brad
maybe there are no words to express their feelings for you losing Daniel.  And
your ex-wife, in my opinion there is no excuse for adultery!  If you want to
sleep with another you make yourself single your ex-wife may have been grieving
but she should have turned to you not your brother…he should have been the strong
one and told her no’

‘I know that, you know she will be coming
too?’ he glances up regarding me from behind his lashes.

‘What? He stayed with her?’ I sit on the
chair in shock ‘you have stood by and watched as they have embarked on a
relationship, did they marry?’

‘Yes about five years ago now, they have a
three year old daughter.  I thought you knew this’ he frowns.

‘Oh my goodness that is fucked up! How have
you dealt with all this Brad?’ My heart aches for what he has endured, no
wonder my deception hurt him so deeply.

‘I stay away mainly’

‘And yet you have invited them all up?’ I
shake my head in disbelief.

‘Yes to show them I am capable of
succeeding which is why I need for them to believe we are together’ he pleads. 
His eyes turn dark for a moment and I catch my breath, ‘do you think you can
manage that?’ he questions quietly.

I move my eyes down to a speck on the
table, ‘I guess’ my heart is thumping at the prospect of us becoming a couple
even if it is for a couple of hours.

The babies fidgeting signals they are
preparing for a feed so we enter the lounge where I sit and feed them while
Brad takes a shower my mind running over the conversation.  He is as alone as I
regardless of his family that is even sadder then not having any family at all.

‘You don’t have to watch them they are
fine’ I instruct Brad as he lays on top of the bed next to the cot.  ‘Sleep,
you are tired they let me know when they want something.  We have managed this
week’ I remind him.

‘Still, I like to watch them.  Do you want
me to take them into the nursery while you catch up on some sleep?’

‘No, stay there I like to have them nearby’
I turn over and snuggle in to my pillow falling asleep within minutes.

When I wake to the sounds of Ava at four
thirty Brad has undressed and is spooning me in only his boxer shorts and for a
moment I remain still enjoying the sensation before he wakes and sits bolt
upright as our daughter makes her hunger apparent.

‘Ok precious’ he soothes lifting her into
his neck and she attempts to suck at anything that comes into contact with her
mouth including his chin, he chuckles, ‘you will have to see mummy, I haven’t
anything for you angel’ he soothes as he turns towards me handing our daughter
over.  ‘Come on Harry your sister has stolen the show once again’ he collects
our son who seems irritated at being woken by his sister and just wants to remain
in dream land.

‘You are such a contented baby’ he plants
kisses all over his face and I glance up my eyes moving across his bare chest
sprinkled with hair moving down to his stomach and lower.  Brad’s eyes find
mine and catch me gawping as he hands over Harry and I flush.

‘He is the angel’ I croak tiredness
apparent in my voice, ‘I love you mummy’s boy’ I coo, ‘he does miss out because
he is so undemanding we must make sure he gets an equal amount of attention as
our drama queen’ I inform Brad who nods in agreement.  I glance up and he is
observing the three of us with a smile on his lips.

‘What?’ I ask.

He moves over to his bag and retrieves his
camera.

‘Er no porn pictures in the nursery’ I
tease as he directs the lens on us.

‘It’s not porn, you want porn I will show
you porn’ he teases and I flush, he chuckles as he clicks away on his camera.

‘Ok that’s enough of my udders’ I warn him
‘not a look I want reminding of’

‘It’s beautiful’ he murmurs as he lowers
the lens.

When I finish feeding I hand Brad Ava and
take Harry and move to the nursery.  We bath and change them before dressing
them and placing them back down in the cot.

‘Right I am off for my shower’ I walk
towards the door.

‘Come back and have another couple of hours
sleep’ Brad suggests, ‘it could be a long day’

‘It is tempting…’ I could sleep standing
up.

‘Come on it is still only six thirty’ he
informs me.

‘Just for an hour’ I climb back in and he
climbs in the other side, ‘you are setting a bad example we have a lot to do
today’ I sigh as I pull the duvet up under my chin and turn on my side away
from him.  I feel the warmth of his body behind me as he moves in and once
again spoons me.

‘Brad’ I croak.

‘Relax it’s just a hug’ he sighs ‘we have
to get used to touching again otherwise no one will believe us’

My body relaxes as his becomes heavier
until I am once again sleeping deeply Brads lips in the crook of my neck.

We awake to what I presume is Ava and
glance at the clock, ‘Brad’ I call and he turns.

‘Shit it is nearly ten o clock’ he grumbles
before jumping up and checking on the babies.

‘Well hello son, you waking your sister
now?’ he brings Harry in for a kiss before handing him to me ‘he getting you
back precious’ he kisses Ava who appears blurry eyed and climbs back in setting
her on the pillow I have on my lap.

‘What time they arriving?’ I ask yawning.

‘About midday, I thought we were going to
have a stroll with the pram this morning we will have to do it later’ he rubs his
eyes, ‘hmmm that was pleasant….bonus sleep’