Betrayal (18 page)

‘Ok’ I relent and Cassie whoops, ‘great!’ 
We discuss rent and drive off on our journey.

Brad is quiet on the drive home and I
wonder if he is in work mode.

‘So you looking forward to your trip?’ I
enquire.

‘No not really’ he flickers a glance in the
mirror to the baby seats.

‘They will be fine, call as much as you
want only don’t panic if I cannot pick up I will call you back as soon as I am
able’

‘Ok, except there is a considerable time
difference’ he reminds me.

‘If you are concerned call’ I insist
‘whatever time, I don’t know what ways up anyway right now’ I smile.

‘Any problems whatsoever you call me’ he
instructs as he loads his car up.

‘Ok Brad.  We have been through this you
have to trust in me in regards to the children if nothing else’

‘I do trust you’ he confirms ‘it just
doesn’t feel right being so far away from you all’

‘Safe journey. Let us know you get there ok’
I plead.

‘Of course’ he slams the boot and turns to
me, ‘look after yourself’ and pulls me into his arms.

‘Brad’ I breathe against his lips in a weak
attempt to prevent the inevitable as he kisses me passionately leaving me
panting, my face is flushed and my insides burning with hunger.  He strokes my
hair away from my face, ‘you are stunning’ he breathes as he recaptures my lips
and continues to explore my mouth licking and nibbling.  I groan as I pull him
into me my body craving him.

‘God I will never leave’ he murmurs against
my lips as he endeavors to slow things down.

My eyes are heavy, my mind confused by the
emotions rushing through me, ‘Brad we can’t do this’ I remind him.

‘We can’ he mutters sighing against me,
‘it’s stronger than our fuckedupness’

I smile at his words but my insides drop,
‘what happens when it goes wrong I cannot put the babies through that’

‘It doesn’t have to go wrong.  We will sort
it out, I have to leave I will call you when I arrive’

I step back folding my arms in front of me defensively
and watch as he drives off my insides excited but dubious about the future.

********

It is just two days into the three weeks
and I have been pacing constantly with Ava since Brad departed attempting to
pacify her she isn’t feeding and I am worried.  Brad calls when he arrives but
I assure him everything is ok despite the fact I cannot keep my eyes open with
tiredness.  By Saturday morning I call the doctors who invite me to bring her
directly into the surgery.

I load up the babies into the pram and walk
as it is the easiest way for me travel with the two of them without lifting
them in and out disturbing them.

‘Her abdomen is distended’ the doctor
appears concerned and my inside drop with the possibility of it being more than
a bit of wind.  Tears appear behind my eyes as a cold rock drops within my
stomach. ‘I don’t wish to distress you Ms Connor but I would prefer it if we
get her to the emergency department just to be monitored and possibly run a few
tests.  They were born a little early?’ he checks the notes.

I nod as I cuddle Ava to me soothing her
cries as tears flow down my face, I am tired and frightened.  Harry begins to
unsettle and I talk to him to calm him.

‘Is your partner around?’ the doctor
appears anxious.

‘No he’s in the US’

‘Have you anyone who can help?’

********

‘Lucy’ I call.

‘Yes!’ Lucy sounds surprised ‘who is this?’

‘Lucy it is Maddison’ my voice is edged
with emotion.

‘Hi. Is everything ok?’ her voice is gentle
which brings on the tears quicker.

‘No. Lucy I need help’ I sob into the
phone.

‘Ok calm down Maddie, what can I do?’

Cameron and Lucy are down within a couple
of hours with Louisa in tow,

‘Shall I call Brad?’ I ask her.

‘Yes’ Lucy insists ‘he would be devastated
if he wasn’t here’

I put the call through from the hospital, I
have fed Harry and Cameron has taken him back with Louisa to my cottage for a
few hours while Lucy stays with me for support.

‘Hi Brad’s phone’ A female purrs.

‘Oh hi’ I stammer surprised that someone
other than Brad answered his phone, ‘is…is he there?’

She giggles, ‘he is a little pre-occupied
at the moment can you call back?’

‘Not really I need to speak to him’ I wipe
a tear from my cheek.

‘I will ask him to call you back’ she
sighs, ‘who is it?’

‘Maddison’ I disconnect the call.

‘Didn’t you speak to him?’ Lucy puts her
arm around me.

‘His bimbo informed me he was busy’ I snap,
‘forget it, I can manage alone’

‘His what?  Come on Maddie it could have
been anyone’ she pulls her phone out and obviously redials Brad walking out of
the hospital room.

I sit by the huge cot that holds my
daughter who is currently on a drip due to her small body being dehydrated. 
The consultant has arranged for a scan as they are concerned about her bowel,
she is irritable and upset and I feel so hopeless.  I pick her up and cuddle
her to me aware of the line coming out of her tiny body.

My phone buzzes but I ignore it, it is Brad
but I cannot deal with him right now my focus is on Ava. ‘Please be ok Ava’ I rock
her gently ‘please baby’

Lucy enters and puts a coffee down on the
cabinet along with a sandwich.

‘Try to eat something’ she cajoles stroking
Ava’s head ‘Brad’s on his way home’ I nod not bothering to ask what he said. 
He will be sick with concern I recognize this but feel hurt that he couldn’t
answer his own damn phone.  My memory reminds me of the photo on the front and
I feel humiliated at the prospect of some model regarding my nursing breasts.

The day is taken up with the doctors
pulling poor Ava about taking bloods and scanning her tiny abdomen.  I glance
up as Lucy re-enters the room.

‘When is Brad landing?’ I ask her, she has
been in constant contact with Brad.

‘Two hours’

‘He will blame me’ I shake my head.

‘Maddie, these things happen you are a
fantastic mum you couldn’t have prevented this’ she declares.

‘The one thing I promised him, it wouldn’t
happen again and that I would ensure they are cared for’

‘And it won’t happen again’ she states
sternly her green eyes determined.

The scan revealed that Ava has an
intestinal problem called
Necrotizing
enter colitis which they could treat with antibiotics but she would need to be
fed intravenously through a vein to allow her bowel to heal for a while.
Premature babies were apparently susceptible to it and thankfully it wasn’t bad
enough that she required surgery.

The doctors
immediately set up the antibiotics on a drip so all there was for me to do was
sit and wait.  Cameron brought Louisa and Harry back to the hospital in the
double pram as they were both becoming hungry.  Leaving me with some privacy
the nurse directed them to a room where they could also experience some
uninterrupted time for Lucy to feed Louisa.

After feeding I
sit with Harry snuggled into me, my hand holding my daughter when Brad arrives. 
My heart breaks into two pieces when I view him standing at the door his face
pale his eyes dead. He has jeans and a crumpled t-shirt he has obviously driven
straight from the airport.

‘How is she
doing?’ he asks as he reluctantly walks towards the crib.

‘Ok’ I sniff as
I dash the tears rolling down my cheek. 

‘Am I allowed
to hold her?’ he whispers.

‘Yes just be
careful of the lines’ I croak.

He picks Ava up
and moves her gently to his neck where she lets out a soft cry and he closes
his eyes against her tiny head.

‘Ok precious
girl, daddy is here’ he whispers his watery eyes finding mine ‘Harry ok?’

I nod unable to
speak against the emotions that surround me.

 ‘What did the
scan show?’  His face is anxious as I repeat what the consultant informed me
of.  He closes his eyes, ‘so she is going to be ok?’

‘Yes, it isn’t
a severe case thankfully. This is probably why she has been a bit tetchy since
birth’ I explain quietly.

‘How you
holding up?’ he tests.  I shake my head but still cannot speak. 

‘Come here’ he
demands his eyes fierce with emotion. 

I shake my head
choosing to remain seated away from him.  He regards me his eyes dark,
‘Maddison’ he warns ‘it isn’t what you think’

‘It doesn’t
matter anyway we aren’t together’ I feel anger inside at my immaturity, he
never promised you anything I tell myself. ‘Ava is the most important thing
right now’

Lucy and
Cameron arrive at that moment and Lucy moves directly over to Brad and puts her
hand to his face.

‘Hey’ she
murmurs in concern.

‘Hi Lucy,
Cameron’ he turns to his friends, ‘thank you for being here’

‘Of course
fella’ Cameron pats Brad’s back before stroking Ava’s hair.

‘You want us to
take Harry back to the cottage Maddie’ Cameron moves over to me and puts his
arm around me.  I shake my head and whisper, ‘now Brad is here I will keep him
thank you guys’

‘No problem. We
will stay again tonight in case you need anything and make our way home
tomorrow’ he kisses the side of my head.  Cameron and Lucy have been absolute
stars.

I nod, ‘is
Louisa ok?’

‘She’s fine
enjoying the sea air’ Cameron smiles down at his daughter in his arms, ‘you
have found a little haven here Maddie we are even thinking about finding a bolt
hole here ourselves’

‘Good….. I
would like that’ I attempt a smile but I am numb.

‘It will be ok’
he assures me and I nod. 

The consultant visits and Brad has an in
depth conversation with him resulting in him appearing more relaxed as he
cuddles our daughter.

‘You two should get some rest’ the
consultant comments ‘even if it is separately’

‘No’ we both answer simultaneously.

‘At least go home and get showers and
change.  This place can become quite oppressive for the relatives’ he smiles. 
‘She will be fine, feel free to put the other baby in the cot with her it may
settle her’ he adds as he shakes our hands.

Rachel and Ron visit the hospital and are
obviously as upset as us automatically believing that it was Daniel all over
again.

‘She is fine’ Brad assures them, ‘a few
days and we will be home’

‘What about work?’ Rachel checks, a
question that had not even crossed my mind.

‘They were brilliant but had to offload the
contract due to deadlines of the brochures’ he shrugs, ‘suits me I won’t be
doing any long trips now anyway unless the family join me’ his eyes find mine
but I avert my gaze.

‘You look extremely skinny Maddison, are
you eating?’ Ron calls from beside me.

‘I am naturally skinny’ I smile towards
him, ‘just getting my pre-pregnancy body back’

He nods, ‘but you are eating?’

‘Yes’ I assure him.

‘Aimee is coming in later’ Rachel informs
Brad to which he smiles.

‘Oh great, I haven’t seen the little imp in
months’ he looks over to me, ‘my sister’ he explains and I nod.  Oh no, is she
like her brothers?

‘She’s nothing like the other two’ Ron
answers my thoughts.

‘Good to know’ I speak without thinking,
‘oh sorry’

Ron chuckles, ‘don’t apologize, we are
aware of our misgivings’

When Aimee Thompson arrives later that day
I had thankfully popped home to shower and change returning in my skinny jeans
that now fit perfectly and a jade green V-neck t-shirt.  My breasts look huge
in it but it gives me some shape to my otherwise boyish figure.  To say she is
gorgeous is an understatement, she is stunning!

‘Hello squirt’ Brad brings his sister into
a bear hug.

‘Well hello stranger you still causing
dramas?’ she speaks to Brad kissing his cheek, ‘you look a little strained’ her
voice falls to a more empathetic tone.

‘I am ok’ he smiles down reassuringly to
her.

Her hair is dark with copper highlights
shining through, her hazel eyes are to die for framed by the longest eyelashes
I have ever seen.  Her figure is curvy and her smile huge.

‘This is Maddison’ he gestures towards me.

‘Hi Maddison’ she hugs me, ‘she is
beautiful Brad’ she runs her eyes over me and I flush suddenly feeling
extremely self-conscious.

‘She certainly is’ he mumbles as his eyes
suddenly notice I have changed due to the fact I walked in only five minutes
before Aimee.