Bitter Farewell (3 page)

She put the paper on the counter and unfolded it.

The obituary made her shiver. The look on the old man’s face in the black and white picture did no justice to the way he looked in person. She remembered many times running into
Big John
and dealing with him. He was loud, rude, and more times than not, drunk. Once his wife died, it really went downhill.

Liv turned to the next page and saw a headline that made her shiver again.

BAKERSVILLE PREPARES FOR ROCKSTAR HOMECOMING!

Rockstar homecoming
, she thought and scoffed.

Everyone was excited that Johnnie and Danny were coming home, even if the circumstances weren’t the best. They were local celebrities from the second they were on television in a music video and dominating the airwaves. Song after song, album after album, it felt like someone kept turning the knife in Liv’s chest. Worst yet, she couldn’t get enough of Chasing Cross. She knew Danny wrote on the songs with his older brother. She could hear and feel him when she heard the music. She did appreciate the music and understood why they were so famous. They were five good looking guys who were able to constantly play and create music that people wanted to hear.

She bought every album for two reasons.

First, because she was undoubtedly a Chasing Cross fan.

And second, because a long time ago she made a promise to sexy young man with wet hair that just covered his eyes that she would buy every album he made... because she truly believed all the way back then that their
puppy dog love
was something so much more.

Or so she thought.

Until Danny was off, escaping Bakersville and its hold, off to become rich and famous. Liv always wondered if he would come back and sometimes when the band played close by she thought about getting tickets and going to see them. She thought about it, but never did it.

No need to open an old wound when a fresh one waited in the next room over.

“Ah, goddamn! Olivia!”

Her father’s voice boomed and raged. Liv jumped from the kitchen and ran as fast as she could. Her father stood looking ready to attack someone. She could tell instantly by looking into his eyes that he wasn’t the same Charlie as two minutes ago.

“Okay, Dad, what’s wrong?”

“Why’d you fill that coffee mug up so much?”

The mug was tipped over on the tray, spilling to the floor. There was a time when Liv would have dove at the cup and tray, wanting to prevent a stain on the floor if she could. But time had taught her to let some things go. It wasn’t worth caring... Charlie would only make another mess somewhere else.

“Okay, Dad, just calm down,” Liv said.

“Don’t tell me to calm,” he bellowed.

Liv sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“And why’d you make it like that? I like my coffee black. You know that.”

Liv looked at her father or the shell of her father, right then. Her father had wanted coffee with cream. This person looking at her now didn’t. And this person wasn’t her father.

She blinked and felt tears in her eyes.

It was like living a shattered dream, each breath sometimes harder than the last.

And now, after all these years, Danny would be coming back. But it wouldn’t be for her. Not that Liv could blame him, who would want what she had right then?

Charlie turned and missed a step, falling to his knees.

“Dad!”

Liv was just out of striking distance when Charlie threw an arm. “I’m fine! This damn carpet is uneven...”

Liv put her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

When would it end?

When would the pain of everything just end?

(4)

Danny felt wrong as he sat on the private jet. The rest of the band was comfortable, Chris and Davey were even sleeping. Danny touched his chest and took a breath, feeling his heart. It reminded him he was alive, but it also reminded him he could feel pain. It meant the world to him that the band decided to come to his father’s funeral. Having them there would keep him strong enough to face some old awakened demons. Then he and Johnnie would have to figure out what to do with the house, look into any debts, and maybe even have a laugh at the thought of their father leaving them a will or any sort of monies.

It was going to be a long few days.

If things went well, in a week, he’d meet the band in Colorado near Davey’s place, to discuss the next leg of the tour and unwind for a minute. Then planned to head upstate New York to his cabin by the water. It was a secret place, secluded from the entire world. The closest neighbor was five miles away, the closest store for any kind of supplies was ten.

That would be his motivation.

Face his father’s passing, try to bury his resentment and pain along with the casket, and then move on. Worst case, he always had Johnnie to lean on. Johnnie would listen and understand and help.

He always did.

“You feeling okay?”

Johnnie swatted at Danny’s knee.

“I’m good, man, good,” Danny said.

“You’re clutching your chest.”

“Oh, that.” Danny moved his hand. “No big deal.”

“You used to do that when you were a kid. Sleeping, I mean. When they’d fight... I’d come into your room and check on you. I knew it scared you to death and really bothered you. And you’d be there, sleeping, holding your chest. First time I thought something was wrong but then I realized you were checking for your heartbeat.”

Danny smiled and nodded. “Good to know I’m alive.”

“Better to be dreaming though,” Johnnie said. “At least back then.”

“How did you do it? You know, dealing with the fighting and yelling.”

“I blocked it out. I didn’t care. I knew from day one it was never going to end well. I didn’t put my heart in the ring like...”

Johnnie froze and licked his lips. He looked away.

“Like me?”

“Not the time or place, brother,” Johnnie said. “We’ll be landing soon enough. You ready for it?”

“Is there going to be a crowd?” Rick asked.

“Not sure,” Johnnie said. “If so, it’ll be locals, looking for Danny and me. Just smile and shake hands.”

“Wear the shades,” Rick said. He pulled a pitch black pair of sunglasses from his shirt and put them on. “Look sad and cool.”

“Sad and cool,” Danny laughed. “Now you look like we did ten years ago. Rough and tough guys breaking onto the scene.”

“You realize this is the first time in how long we don’t have Peter on our tail with us?” Johnnie asked.

“Hey, that’s true,” Rick said.

He sat up and took the sunglasses off. He had that wild look in his eyes, the Rick look that ended up in big trouble. More than a few times, Peter had to step in and keep Rick and some of the band (if not all) from going to jail back in the day, when life, drinks, women, and indulgences seemed endless.

“There’s not much in Bakersville,” Johnnie said.

“I’m sure we could find trouble,” Rick said.

“Not the occasion,” Danny said.

“I know, man, I know.”

Rick leaned back and put the sunglasses back on. A few minutes later his head turned and he was asleep.

“I’m glad we didn’t bring security,” Danny said. “No need for a scene.”

“I hope everyone is respectful,” Johnnie said. “It’s been a few years since we’ve been here...”

“A few years,” Danny whispered.

He turned in his seat and stared out to the clouds. He saw patches of land below, some richly colored green, some tan. It was land, land, land. Danny looked out as far as he could see, thinking about too much at once. He desperately wanted to find and hold onto a good memory of his father. There was a time when Danny wondered if his father was even his father. But he knew better. His mother wasn’t that kind of woman. She stood by her man year and year, through his drinking, through his abuse, and through every hard time that had been thrown at their family. Danny always wished she would leave him, but she hung on, right up until cancer took her. The only reason Danny got through her death was knowing that his mother was now free.

He looked at the clouds and hoped wherever his mother was, it was something like the beautiful scene before his eyes.

The flight began to feel like a trip through time. Danny’s mind moved through the motions, over and over, remembering the good times, the bad times, and everything else in his life. Right up to the point when he got into a beat up car and told himself if it started, he was gone.

It didn’t start on the first try.

Or the second.

Or even the third.

But on the fourth try, the car came to life and Danny peeled away. He kicked up dirt and dust, blanketing the view in his mirror, which was good then, but heart wrenching now. He knew
she
was standing behind that cloud of rock and dust, wishing he wouldn’t go. And he had promised he’d write, call, come back, whatever it took to get her to just let him go.

He had to go.

She knew that.

It was supposed to be easy and free, their dreams coming to life.

“We’re landing,” Johnnie announced.

A second later, the pilot did the same.

Danny’s thoughts became a jumbled mess.

High in the air, he could manage it all. Nobody could get to him.

As the pressure in the private cabin began to change, Danny gripped the arms of his seat. He gritted his teeth and felt his heart spinning in a way he never felt before.

It wasn’t just about the death of his father then. It was about stepping off that private jet and stepping into the present with some of a past that was still fresh in his heart and memory.

The private jet had a smooth landing and the five guys stood up, ready to face Bakersville. Danny knew three out of the five didn’t have the feelings he and Johnnie did. And looking at Johnnie, he wasn’t sure if Johnnie shared the exact same feelings either.

Danny grabbed a bag for each hand and two guitars.

Of course the band couldn’t travel without instruments. There was never a better time than the moments in front of them to write, play, and enjoy what they loved the most. It was actually Davey who suggested they all bring a guitar or two, just in case they decided to play a little before they had to split up after the funeral.

The door opened and Danny waited for Johnnie to take the lead. Danny filed right behind him, stepping from the private jet. Thankfully the jet didn’t have Chasing Cross’s logo everywhere, not that it mattered to the small crowd gathered outside near the runway.

They cheered and clapped as the band made it to solid ground. Danny looked into the crowd, his eyes instantly scanning. He didn’t stop until he crashed into the back of Johnnie.

“Damn,” he cried out as he bent down to put his guitars down. He touched his nose, expecting to see blood, but there was none.

“What were you doing?” Johnnie asked.

“Nothing,” Danny said. “Just looking at the crowd.”

“Recognize anyone?”

Danny looked and nodded. Of course he recognized the people. They had aged of course, but they were there. The same people. The same town. Having Chasing Cross landing in their backyard would certainly be headline news in the town. It would be in the newspaper for days, not to mention on every news broadcast.

Photographers snapped a few pictures and an eager female reporter ran towards Johnnie holding a tape recorder. She was stuck between being professional and being starstruck.

“Are we doing this?” Johnnie asked, looking at Danny.

“Might as well,” Danny whispered.

The rest of the band stood with Johnnie and Danny as the woman introduced herself and said she had just a few questions.

“Of course,” Johnnie said.

“Johnnie! Yo! Johnnie!” a man shouted from the crowd.

Johnnie looked and waved.

“It’s me! It’s Paulie!”

Johnnie nodded.

Danny looked to the crowd and recognized Paulie. He had been a misplaced bully in school, desperate to gain attention for himself by doing dumb things and trying to pick on kids. Danny remembered Paulie picking on a kid with glasses. He kept flicking the kid’s glasses off his ears. When Danny tried to say something, Paulie made a fist. Danny saw the fist and it made him think of his father. In a matter of two seconds, Paulie was on the ground, holding his nose as the class clapped.

Danny laughed when he saw that Paulie wore big thick framed glasses.

Fate was really a funny thing.

“What’s it like to be home?”

Danny looked at the woman, holding a recorder to Johnnie’s mouth.

“Well, of course Bakersville was our home for a while,” Johnnie said. “We all grew up either in town or nearby. It’s not a favorable situation to bring us here... but it will be nice to see old friends and maybe make some new ones.”