Black: Part 3 (Black Series) (4 page)

His words bite into me.

“But you’re
still
carrying them around? You said you spent the whole week locked in your office because you were waiting on me… Why would you need a condom if you’ve been locked away?” A panicked fear hits me. “You’re not seeing someone else are you?”

“Of course not!” he shouts, angrily. “How could you even suggest such a thing?”

“How could
you
still be carrying around condoms unless you’re planning on
using
them?”

He glares at me, but doesn’t say anything.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I don’t know why I thought things might be any different with him. Of course Calvin always has a condom on him. That totally fits who I’ve always thought he was, doesn’t it?

A thought occurs to me. I’m almost too afraid to even bring it up, but I have to. Before even asking it, I’m already certain I know the answer.

“That girl from before… Charlotte… have you ever…”

I don’t even finish the question. The look on Calvin’s face tells me everything I need to know.

His head dips and he takes a slow breath.

“It’s not that simple…”

“Save it,” I say, cutting him off.

I hop off of the desk and grab my clothes off the floor. I pull my pants on as fast as I can, not really caring if I look as disconnected and chaotic as I feel.
 

“Sofie, what are you doing? You can’t hold what I’ve done against me!” He stares at me in disbelief. “It’s not like you and I were together. I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again…”

I shake my head, furiously.

“I don’t blame you.” Anger is quickly replacing the hurt I feel inside. “This is my fault for thinking that you could ever really change. It’s not like I can expect you to keep your dick in your pants.”

“I
have
changed!” he growls. “I haven’t been with anyone else since I found out you were in town. I haven’t even
thought
about being with anyone else. I can’t even
look
at another girl without wishing that it was you I was looking at.”

I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Really? You want a cookie or something for going a week without sleeping with another girl?” I roll my eyes. “Go fuck whoever you want to fuck. There’s no reason you should let me stop you.”

I go to move past him but he reaches out to stop me. I twist myself, sharply, getting away from his strong grip. Thankfully he lets go. There’s no way I could really get away from him if he didn’t want me to.

I can feel myself getting emotional again. I need to get as far away as possible before I have a complete breakdown. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him know how much it hurts to think about him with someone else. And I’ll be damned if I let him know that while he’s been hooking up with other girls all these years, I haven’t been with anyone.

Maybe it’s time for that to change. If Calvin is going to go and have his fun, then maybe I should do the same.

Sofie

“So you spent six months in Europe and then came back and decided it was time to go to college?” Wade asks, flashing his smile at me.

I give him a sheepish look and bob my head.

“That’s pretty much exactly how it went.”

“How did you end up moving to New York City from Charleston? I’ve never been down there but I can imagine it’s quite a different place.”

I shrug, noncommittally, as if the move wasn’t really a big deal. But I’m starting to wonder if I might have had some other reasons for making the move—reasons that I hadn’t been ready to acknowledge before recently.

“This is where the jobs are. And besides, I got so used to seeing all of the different cultures when I was in Europe… I guess I just wanted to be around that kind of diversity again.”

Wade raises his drink in acknowledgement.

“Cheers for more beautiful women coming to New York. I think you made the right decision.”

He flashes me that charming smile of his as he takes a long drink from his wine glass. The smile makes me feel good—reassured—which is exactly what I’ve been needing ever since I left
Club Addiction
last night.

I had been tempted to cancel the date with Wade. I’d thought that I needed time to sort things out in my head. The night with Calvin had been short, but it had been an emotional roller coaster from the time I first saw him to the time I finally got away. I’m going to need some time to sort out everything that happened.

But at the last minute I changed my mind and decided to go through with it.

Maybe getting my mind off Calvin for a night is exactly what I need? It’s what Aimee would have told me to do if she’d been around. But I haven’t seen her since Thursday. Things must be going really well between her and Wall Street Man if she’s already spending another weekend with him.

“So tell me more about you…” I say, shifting the topic of conversation back to Wade.

The whole point of going out tonight is to get my mind off of myself, and giving him a run down of my entire life’s story is kind of the opposite of that.

“I’m an open book. What would you like to know?”

I consider it for a moment.

“Were you born in New York?”

His eyes narrow and he gives me a little sideways, teasing, smile.

“Of all the questions you could have asked me,
that
is the one you went with?”

I get jittery on the inside.

“We were just talking about where I come from… It seemed appropriate.”

He leans in a little closer.

“Being appropriate is overrated.” He gestures with his wine glass, encouraging me to go on. “Ask me something
good
. Ask me something you wouldn’t normally ask a guy on a first date.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“A first date?”

He flashes that grin, again.

“That is what we’re on, isn’t it? We’re two single, attractive, adults who are having drinks on a Saturday night together. I’m pretty sure that’s what they call this kind of thing.”

“Right. A date.”

My smile softens a little. I don’t know why putting a label on it suddenly makes me feel on edge. It’s not like there had been any confusion about what Wade meant when he asked me to get together with him. It’s just that I’ve stayed away from dating men for so long that I’m not sure I know how to do it anymore.

“Is there something you’d like me to know about you?” I ask, finally.

“I’m giving you a free pass and you’re telling me there’s
nothing
you want to know? I had higher hopes for you, Sofie Bennett…”

He’s teasing me, but I know it’s all in good fun.

“Well, now that you mention it…” I give him a sideways smile of my own. “There are an awful lot of rumors going around about you…”

He cocks an eyebrow.

“So you’ve been asking about me?”

The question catches me off guard.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that. Just that I’ve heard some stuff, is all.”

He holds that inquisitive look for a moment before he gives me another smile.

“I’m sure whatever you’ve heard is wildly overblown. I can almost promise I’m not as awesome as the rumors say I am.”

This time it’s my turn to give some shit back to him.

“What makes you think that what I’ve heard is good?”

He lets out a loud laugh and raises his glass.

“In that case, maybe there is some truth in them. I’ll drink to that!” Wade drains what’s left in his wine glass and refills it from the bottle sitting on the edge of the table. “So what have you heard about me?”

I tilt my head and give him a shrug.

“Nothing much. Just that you might be the kind of guy that enjoys spending time with the ladies.”

“What man doesn’t enjoy the company of a beautiful woman?”

“I don’t think that’s quite what they are referring to…”

He fixes me with a look.
 

“So you think I’m some kind of player, do you?”

“Like I said… I’ve heard some things.”

“And you believe them?”

“Why don’t you tell me what I should believe?”

“Well you know what they say…
Don’t believe what you hear, and only half the things that you see
.”

I cock an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure they also say that
where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
”

He looks nonplussed by my response.

“That’s true, but have you seen any flames since we met?”

My stomach twists into a knot. Calvin is definitely a flame. And no matter how much water I throw I can’t seem to put him out.

I know that’s not what Wade meant by the question, but I can’t help the thoughts that come crashing into my head. Images of Calvin with other women. Desire for Calvin to be with me. And finally, the knowledge that I really had been wrong to run away from him all those years ago. A bad thing had happened, and I’d reacted like a child.

And now the only thing keeping us apart is…

Me.

No. Stop it
.

I can’t be thinking about Calvin like that when I’m on a date with another man. I can’t be thinking about Calvin like that
at all
. It has to stop.

Wade looks at me suspiciously. He must have noticed me zoning out. I give myself a quick shake to cover my momentary brain lapse.

“So far you’ve been the perfect gentleman,” I say, quickly, responding to his question.

He grins.
 

“Maybe I need to get
you
to start spreading some rumors so the truth can get out…”

I let out a light laugh.

“Maybe.”

But the only thing I can think about spreading right now is my legs. Not for the man sitting in front of me, but for the man that I haven’t been able to get out of my system since the moment we met.

Sofie

When we finish the first bottle of wine Wade orders another. It doesn’t take us long to finish that one off, either. The wine is good—and since Wade is ordering it, it’s probably expensive. The warmth of the alcohol goes straight to my head. I think I’ve drank more with Wade in the last week than I’ve drank in the last few months with Aimee. It’s been a long time since I’ve tested my boundaries like this, and I’m afraid my inexperience will be obvious.

Wade’s flirting only gets worse as the night goes on. It’s like he took calling him a gentleman as a personal challenge to flirt with me as much as possible. But no matter how much I drink, and no matter how many suggestive things he says, I find myself only thinking more and more about Calvin.

It’s not that I
want
to be thinking about him. I’m on a date with a sexy man who knows how to tell me exactly what I need to hear—I should just be enjoying myself.

But I can’t.

I can’t stop wondering what Calvin is doing right this very minute. I can’t stop wondering if I should be out with him instead of Wade. Was it really so bad that Calvin always carries a condom around with him? Of course not. And did I really expect him to not be with anyone else after I ran away? I don’t think I could have handled it if he told me he’d been waiting for me all these years. Somehow that would have made me feel even worse.

So what in the world is wrong with me? Why am I out with another guy when I so obviously want to be with Calvin?

By the time we finish the second bottle of wine it feels like there’s a heavy fog settled over my eyes. Everything is blurry and hazy, but I’m feeling good. Maybe too good.

Maybe going out on this date wasn’t the best idea after all? Maybe I should have taken more time to sort through what I was feeling about the whole Calvin Situation before I started making an emotional connection with someone else?

“Should we get out of here?” Wade asks, giving me another one of his suggestive smiles.

I nod.

It’s definitely time for me to get home. It’s definitely time for me to start acting like an adult.

“I’ll get us a cab.”

Sofie

The cab drops us off outside of my apartment building. Wade walks along with me to the front door. When we get there, I turn and give him a soft smile. The world is still just as blurry as when we left the restaurant.

“Thanks for tonight… I needed it.”

His brow rises as though what I’m saying sounds out of place.

“Well there’s no reason to stop the fun just yet.” He glances up at my building. “A quick nightcap sounds perfect.”

“Oh, right…”

I hadn’t planned on inviting him up, but there’s no real harm in having another drink. He’s already here, and it’s not too late in the evening. And besides… if Aimee finds out that I left Wade standing in the street she’ll never let me live it down.

“That does sound nice,” I say, this time more confidently.

Wade gives me one of his George Clooney smiles, causing two dimples to appear on his cheeks. I’ve never notices those dimples before—was I just not paying attention? They’re cute. Or maybe it’s just the alcohol that’s getting to me?

Wade follows close behind while we climb the stairs to my apartment. When we arrive at my floor he walks even closer and places his hand on the small of my back. My back stiffens, involuntarily. I’m not used to anyone touching me like that.

“Here we are,” I say, nervously, pointing at my door ahead of us.

I fumble with my keys before I’m finally able to get it unlocked and let us in. When we enter, Wade gives a quick glance around but it doesn’t seem like he’s really taking in any of it—his attention is mostly focused on me.

He fixes me with an expectant look, like I’m supposed to make the next move.

An uneasy feeling sinks its way into the pit of my stomach. Am I making a complete fool of myself without even realizing it? Wade is the first guy I’ve even had in my apartment—I’m so horribly out of practice on this sort of thing.

I give him a nervous smile.

“I hope you like vodka… I think that’s all we have.” He doesn’t say anything. He just keeps that charming smile fixed on me. “Well, make yourself at home. I’ll go fix us a drink.”

I turn toward the kitchen, but I don’t even take a single step before Wade grabs me by the arm and spins me back around. There’s a passionate look on his face.