Bleak Devotion (22 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Jessica smiled as the new baby cooed across the room. Propped up against a bunch of pillows on a bed, Monique held her baby, surrounded by doting women. And Zach. Jessica snickered at his addition, though it had helped to distract him from bugging her about Blade. The only person besides Monique more excited about the baby than him was Vivian. The older woman loved to hold the baby and coo at it with her raspy voice. Personally, Jessica found the sound frightening, but the baby couldn't take his eyes off her when she did it.

Her eyes drifted toward Ben. The older man had been strangely silent about the whole thing, but it was easy to feel something smoldering just beneath the surface. She wondered if he had anything planned for the two newest additions.

Whatever it was, she doubted he would carry through with those plans. Monique had requested sanctuary for her and her baby and the household voted to let them remain, everyone except Ben. But with the rest of the house behind them, if Ben tried anything he would end up getting himself kicked out. Jessica didn't think he would risk it. It was pretty much back to normal for him.

Kimberly and Deborah began teasing each other about who got to hold the baby next. Jessica caught Erin's eye and the girl grinned at her. Erin looked back at Monique and said something to the female in her alien language. Jessica had been surprised when she learned the girl had been taking lessons from Blade since they became friends, but it seemed to be paying off now that Monique was more open to their group. Perhaps she should give it a try too.

Erin turned her attention back to Jessica and tilted her head in the direction of Blade several times before focusing on the baby.

Blade. Jessica had been trying to pretend he wasn't in the room. Pretend he didn't even exist until things go settled. She didn't know how to act around him. What to say or do. She thought they had almost had a moment by the car before the aliens came, but it had all been so much so fast.

At least she knew he didn't hate her. And she didn't hate herself. She hated their situation. The thought filled her with enough courage to sneak a glance at him.

He was already looking at her, gaze all too welcoming. Her breathing quickened. Wondering how long he had been watching her, she offered a smile. A flurry of emotions scrambled through her as he stood and walked toward her.

“
Care to join me?” he said quietly enough that no one else in the room could hear but her.

Wanting to chew her nail, but refraining, she nodded and followed him out of the room. Who had room for words when a guy she loved looked at her like that?

They wandered through the hallway until they ended up in the entryway. Her crimson blood stained part of the carpet in the front room. She stared at it, wishing she could go back and change that moment. Change the kiss. Most of all, change the one thing that came between them.

“
I could get a rug to cover it next time I go into town,” Blade said.

Her head snapped up, but her shock was tempered by seeing him, setting her heart fluttering. She looked back down at the stain, wondering how much of her emotions she still needed to control. “Don't bother with the rug. It'll be a good reminder.”

“A good reminder?”

Jessica glanced up at him, solemn. “Yes. I wish I could change that moment, but I think because of it things have happened for the better. Look how much control you have. I thought for sure you were going to attack me and Monique.” She shuddered. “But you didn't. Somehow you pulled past your instinctive drive to attack and jumped right over us. You are amazing, I just get in the way of it sometimes.”

Blade moved closer to her until they almost touched. “You never get in the way.”

His voice was thick with emotion. Jessica suppressed the urge to lean in closer to him. There were things they needed to fix before they were together. And he needed more time. That much she remembered from their talk by the car.

Clearing her throat, she looked back down at the stain. “So, how are your alien pals?”

He straightened, pulling farther away from her with the movement. “They're surprised. After Monique's outburst made them change, some part of them realized that I didn't. It confused the creatures inside them enough that they were able to pull back until the fight was over. Said it was the hardest thing they have ever done. I believe them. It will only get worse for them though.”

“What do you mean?”

“
After I told them I was learning to control it, they were shocked. It's left us all wondering how different things could have been if we had realized it sooner. I think they'd like to try now that they do know. If they do, there will be harder times trying to keep the creatures inside them from coming out. I've been there.” Blade's voice had turned gruff, Jessica's own throat tightening. He coughed before continuing. “It would be good for them. I hope they can do it and teach others to as well. To have them be able to participate in the family and community more and with emotion would mean a lot to my race.”

“
Will they be coming back here to learn more about it from you?” Jessica felt sick at the thought.

“
Yes and no. I’ll be helping work with them.”

“
It's not a good idea,” Jessica interrupted. “What if one of them hurts you?”

Blade held up a hand. “Let me finish. They controlled themselves surprisingly well; I doubt I will be in danger. Plus, I found that I was able to transform, but keep aware. This will give me an advantage. But they won't be coming here.”

Jessica relaxed. “What do you mean?”

“
I'm going to start going to them and I'll take the food to them instead of them having to make the trip. They were thrilled when I suggested the idea.”

“
You are going to take them the food? They won't be coming here anymore?” Jessica's face fell slack, shock making anything else impossible.

“
No, they won't be bothering us anymore. We'll keep the hideout in good condition, just in case, but they shouldn't be a problem. We're all safe.”

“
Oh, Blade!” She wanted to rush forward and wrap her arms around him. Instead she tightly crossed them against her torso, holding them in place. “I can't believe you were able to pull that off. I wish you didn't have to actually meet with them, though. Have you told the others yet?”

“
No.” He leaned closer to her, his voice gruff again. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“
I have to go tell them. They're going to be so excited.” She took a step to the side of him. His hand reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

“
Wait a minute, Jess.”

She stopped and looked into his eyes. She swallowed, trying not to read anything into his touch. “What?”

“
That's not all I wanted to tell you.”

“
Oh?”

He grabbed her other arm and planted himself in front of her. “Jess, I realized that if I have learned to control myself while transformed, I will learn to control myself around you. I still have to be careful, but I can do this. We can do this.”

She stared up at him, waiting for the words to make sense. Waiting for anything to make sense.

“
If that's still what you want? I love you, Jess. Nothing will come between us again, not even me.”

She hesitated, then let the warmth of his words fill her. “I love you, too.”

He pulled her closer to him. As they became wrapped in each other’s arms, warmth searing through her, her pulse beat so fast it felt like a single note. His head dipped toward her as she stretched up to meet him. Their lips met in a warm rush of feeling. Blade pulled her closer. Her heart soared within her, free to find the full joy of the moment.

After a minute his lips trembled against hers. She edged away, breathless. Realizing his whole body was shaking, she took a step back, her hands automatically crossing in front of her old wounds. He sighed and reached out to stroke her arm. The fear tightening her chest loosened when she realized his tremors had already stopped.

She snuck a glance up at him. The corner of his lips curled upward, not a quiver in sight. His eyes, though, focused maddeningly on her mouth. Heat flooded her cheeks and she dropped her gaze. He reached for her chin and gently lifted it up. As he gave her a quick peck on the lips, the heat spread from her face through her body.

They could do this. Somehow in a world where emotions were deadly, they could make love work. They could be together. Time would only strengthen them and help them work out anything else that came their way in this new world. They walked back towards the others, their hands joined and smiles on their faces.

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Acknowledgments

The biggest thanks must go to my husband. He not only put up with me taking the time to write, but encouraged it. I could never do this without him. Seriously, best husband ever. And my kids are always so patient when mom's working. Best kids ever. I'm lucky like that.

To my proofreader, thank you for taking the time to polish my words. It was definitely an experience I learned a lot from. And my wonderful critic partners, Sophia, Max, Tim, and Cynthia. Last but not least, giant thanks to my parents who put up with me reading far past my bedtime and being groggy during the days. May have made for grumpiness when I was a teen (who am I kidding, I still stay up too late reading), but it feed my love of imagination.

About the Author

Gemma Drazin is the author of short stories and her debut Young Adult Dark Futuristic Fantasy, Bleak Devotion. She has a great love for cute shoes and can often be found outside with a book and a treat. When she's not reading or writing she can be found enjoying time with her husband and children.