By My Side (12 page)

             
“Cheesy,” he teased me, a smile on his face. His arms were tighter on me. We're not perfect, but we understood each other. We're not lovey-dovey, but between the lines the result was the same. I heard his heartbeat increased. It's incredible to witness what I did to him.

             
“I think you're right. You better go now or I'll kiss you again.”

             
“Okay,” he said, standing up and stretching his tall, toned body. “Do you want me to come for breakfast?”

             
“If you're not afraid to see my mom up and ready to continue her liquid diet.”

              “I'll bring doughnuts,” he replied with a soft smile. “Don't get up or I'll never leave. Good night, Lily.”

             
I was too surprised to see him leave so quickly that I said nothing. I knew why he was in such a hurry; because he saw desire in my eyes, and it began to mirror in his. It will be difficult to keep our hands in our pockets. Sex was something that would happen in my life. I had to think about it and not just in theory.

             
I was on the pill since my sixteenth birthday, and my mom gave me condoms with it. Great gifts, I must say. Technically, I was ready, but the fear wasn't leaving me. Well, not exactly because when I was with Gabe the fear wasn't there anymore. Damn it! If he hadn't stopped us, I probably wouldn't be a virgin anymore.

             
Was it a sign that I was in love? I mean, I always think about him. I always want to see him, and everything in me was on fire with just one kiss. He's my world, even when everything was collapsing under my feet. He's all I wanted and it's frightening. If only he could be free from his pain. If only I was the cure.

              I woke up a little late, but I felt like I hadn't slept at all. I hated it. Only the idea of coffee helped me to stand up and walk to the kitchen in my huge T-shirt of New York. She's already in the kitchen, but of course, she didn't make coffee. She's too busy with her precious alcohol. I preferred she drink
in her bedroom because witnessing it at breakfast wasn't the best way to begin the day. I needed a coffee pot in my room.

             
“Already wasted?” I asked coldly to my mother, who was drinking her glass like water. If only it was just water.

             
“Oh give me a break!” she said. Her eyes weren't focusing on me or anything. I didn't even understand how she managed to still be up.

              “Yeah, right.”

             
I wasn't going to fight before my cup of coffee. After is another story. I was lost in the smell of the coffee and the sounds of the glass clinking when there was a knock at the door. It was Gabe, and I was in pajamas.

             
“Are you too busy drinking your coffee that you can’t answer the door?” my mother said mockingly.

             
“And you with your alcohol?” I retorted coldly, leaving the kitchen with my mug in hand. I even forgot how minimalist my clothes were. Well, until Gabe's gray eyes were travelling up and down my bare legs. He flushed. Why did he have to be so sexy when he blushes? It's unfair for the rest of us.

             
“Hmm ... I wasn't expecting such a welcome,” he said, his voice husky, and looking outside to see if there's a witness.

             
“Yeah, I overslept. Ten minutes earlier and you would have been welcomed by my mom. Not exactly the same, eh?”

             
He laughed and gave me a bag with doughnuts. Sweet! We went into the kitchen to find my mom opening a new bottle. Not water obviously. This moment needed to be immortalized for the next time she said she's not an alcoholic. I couldn't believe I was letting Gabe see this.

             
“Good morning, Mrs. Saunders,” he said politely, but I saw anger in in his eyes. It was bringing back bad memories.

             
“Ms. Adamson now,” she answered somberly, leaving the kitchen for her bedroom. Adamson? She's taking back her maiden name. Okay, I didn't even know.

             
“You're a little pale, Lily.” His deep voice brought me back to the present. I drank the last gulp of my cup of coffee and tried to smile, which wasn’t a real success.

             
“I'm fine. It's just a little disturbing to not have the same name than her anymore. Actually, not to have anything in common with her anymore.” I poured a cup of coffee for Gabe and me. We are both coffee freaks.

             
“She'll realize she needs help.”

             
He pressed me against him softly. My legs felt the rough surface of the black jeans he wore. For once, his T-shirt was simple gray with nothing special on it, but it made his eyes seem even more gray. It's difficult to look in his eyes without losing myself in them.

             
“Maybe, but I'm not an optimistic person. She has to go to work in a week.” He stayed quiet. We both knew she won't be able to work without alcohol in her blood, but being intoxicated at work won't go unnoticed.

              “You need a break,” he finally said after he finished his mug. “What about we go and see a movie this afternoon.”

             
I took a look outside and saw it was beginning to rain, not the perfect summer day. I loved to go to the movie theatre, but I knew everybody would be there. Gabe's old friends, Andy's, and few of mine. I was not embarrassed about what's happening between Gabe and me, but when I took a look at Gabe’s swollen cheek, I felt bad. Even more, I couldn't kiss him like every couple did at the movies. Well, we could, but it would be kind of strange with everybody witnessing it and waiting for our usual outburst.

             
My worries must have been visible on my face because Gabe put down both our mugs and was now cupping my face in his huge hands.

              ''We can do whatever we want. It's just us, so to Hell with everybody.”

             
I laughed at his words. It would be something I would say. He's right, and in any other circumstance I wouldn't give a crap about what people would say or do, but with my mother, I wanted to be invisible. Andy knew something's wrong, so what if he wanted to take revenge? It's not like him, but I didn't know him anymore.

              “I don't know, Gabe. I'm exhausted from all the fights,” I said, and put my head against his chest.

              “We will not stay here all summer. Come please,” he pleaded, his voice resonating in his chest.

             
“Okay, but if I hit someone it'll be your fault.” I was unable to resist him.

             
He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, but it wasn’t enough. I was a needy person. I looked at his lips and on my tiptoes, I motioned him to come closer. With a hot grin and a dimple on his cheek, he leaned down to my mouth. I loved it when he bit my lower lip before deepening the kiss. This time, I was the one stepping back. It's easier in a kitchen and in daylight. However, seeing the look on his face was pure temptation. He's evil.

             
“Okay. Now, I really need to go and take a shower,” I said, still a little out of breath.

              “Thanks for the picture. You're torturing me.” Oh, why did his voice send chills through my body? It's unnerving. His phone rang, stopping this nonsense talk. He looked at the caller ID and cursed under his breath.

             
“Is there a problem?” He didn't answer the call. Instead, he put the phone in his jean’s pocket and smoothed a hand in his already messy hair.

             
“No, it's just my mom. My grandmother must already be at home.”

             
His grandmother was an old lady, but acts younger. She still wears jeans and T-shirts, and she's really smart. She's always intrigued by me and my sarcasm. I really liked this independent woman.

             
“I didn't know she was coming,” I said, frowning at the thought of Andy holding out this information.

              “It's a last minute thing. You know Granny.”

             
“Yeah, but you don't seem really glad,” I said, surprised because the boys were crazy about her. Eve more since their grandfather died eight years ago from breast cancer.

             
“She's here because my father told her I didn’t want to speak about Connor.” It's not a good idea to force someone to speak about a traumatic episode, like I knew anything about it!

              “So tell them you're speaking about it to someone.”

             
“Yeah ...” he said, looking at the clock above the fridge. “I've got a better idea. Go take a shower and we'll both go to see Granny. We’ll eat lunch with them, and after we’ll go see a movie. What do you think?”

              “I was beginning to think I hadn't a word to say,” I said playfully. “But I'm anxious to get out of here.” I didn’t want to re-live the hospital episode again.

              “You said that with Connor, I had my own life, and I couldn't anticipate what would happen to him. It's the same with your mom,” he threw back at me. He's good. Now, if I didn't follow, my words would mean nothing at all. He could be a wonderful lawyer, the ass.

             
“Give me ten minutes,” I said after I sighed to show my defeat.

              On Gabe's heels, I came in the kitchen where the rest of the Green family was chatting and making lunch. Andy's smile disappeared immediately when he saw us.
What was I doing here?

             
“Is it okay if Lily stays for lunch?” Gabe asked after he hugged Granny tightly, making her laugh.

             
“Of course!” Mr. and Mrs. Green and Granny said in union.

             
“Oh honey, I'm so glad to see you!” Granny said as she hugged me with force, still towering over me even two years later. They're all tall in this family. “You really are a lovely young woman now.”

             
Not quite one, but my blush wasn't helping my cause. Gabe laughed beside me. I punched his arm, but I didn't think it was very painful. Andy left the kitchen, giving me a push as he past. Gabe was ready to go after him, but I stopped him with my hand.