By My Side (9 page)

             
“Hey, Gabe,” I called him after inscribing the date on my drawing. “Not exactly a surprising drawing, right?” He stood up and took it between his huge palms, looking at it like it represented a huge mystery. I lost myself in the gray of his eyes. It's so unusual and much more impressive than I thought.

             
“But it's meaningful and an incredible show of realism.”

             
“You're generous with compliments,” I said, blushing and returning to my pad.

             
“When it's true I can be. Do I put it in the cupboard?”

             
“Yeah, the key is taped behind the easel.”

             
I heard him walk over, but I was returning to my own world. This time I was drawing a father yelling at his little daughter who fell and scratched her knee. She's not crying, but the hurt was written all over her little chubby face.

             
I was fast. It's like I wanted to extricate this from me. My hand was precise and sure. With my index finger, I stumped some lines, some angles. I didn't know how much time I spent on it, but my shoulders were relaxed and also a little painful from staying in the same position.

             
“You finished it?”

             
Gabe was standing up. I heard the noise of his jeans and the wood cracking under his steps. Standing behind me, he looked at my drawing. He placed a hand on my shoulder. This was my inner pain. This was all me.

“I'm ready to sleep now,” I said, standing up and putting my drawing in the cupboard. “And you? What do you do to relax? And don't say reading because it doesn't count.” We headed downstairs before stopping in front of my door. He brushed his hair, but they didn't seem to want to behave.

             
“I go outside at night and play guitar where nobody can hear me,” he answered. I remembered when he was nine or ten and took guitar lessons. Wow. I never heard him play. Well, he never played in public.

             
“Hey, I forgot about the guitar lessons! Why don't you want to be heard?”

             
“I like to play for myself. No audience.”

             
“So, you won't play in front of me,” I said with disappointment. He saw my art, he saw me drawing, but I couldn't witness his little secret? Tell me about disparity.

              “I'm not exactly fond of the idea, but since I saw your secret ...”

             
“Really? You don't have to.”

             
“You're softer with me, and it's disturbing,” he said, embarrassed.

             
“You want me to be a snob?” We laughed a little and looked at the door, still closed.

             
“Maybe tomorrow night you'll have the privilege to hear me play.”

             
“Deal.”

             
“Yeah, deal,” he said heading to the stairs.

Chapter Six

            
 
He's downstairs, and I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted. My eyes were burning, and my entire body was aching, but I was still awake. Crap!

              So what now? I turned on my light and thought about reading, hoping I'd finally fall asleep. Not a bad idea, but I didn't want to read right now. I was just focusing on the fact that Gabe was downstairs.
I've got an obsession now. Fantastic!

             
Was it me, or did I hear a noise in the corridor? No, this house was like any other, noises happen. Knock, knock.

             
He's knocking at my door!
Or I was dreaming. Nevertheless, I stood up and opened my door. He's here with his shirt on and his jeans. He's just barefoot. Okay, I was not dreaming, or he would have been wearing a lot less.

             
“You had a nightmare?” Great first words to welcome a guy in my bedroom at night.

              “I have to sleep for that. I thought I heard you tossing around in your bed.”

             
Thank God he couldn't hear my heartbeat. I looked down and saw what I was wearing, a huge T-shirt from New York, and nothing else. I looked at him and saw his eyes trailing down my legs. They're not very long, but I was quite proud of my muscles. I liked them, and he did too obviously. He swallowed hard.

             
“I’d better go,” he said, his voice husky. In the night, he couldn't see me blushing, but my cheeks were burning.

             
“You can stay.”
Did I just say that?
Impossible. I've got only one bed.

             
“Hmm ... I don't think it's a good idea.” Now I was lost. What's the problem? He came here, but now that we're both up and really awake he wanted to return downstairs?

             
“Why?” I asked.
Hell, did I just say that aloud?
His uneasiness intensified more. He leaned against the doorframe.

             
“It's night and there's nobody here besides us. You don't need a picture, do you?”

             
“You're kidding, right?”

             
“You're making me nervous wearing that.” Standing up and crossing my legs was not a simple move, but somehow I managed without falling.
Yeah me!

             
“I'll jump in some pants.”

             
“Still. I prefer to go. Good night, Lily,” he said, heading downstairs quickly.

             
What just happened?
He didn't feel desire for me, right? My heart sped up, and an idiotic smile appeared on my face. I didn't want to hook up with Gabe, but I was flattered, happy, and excited. Okay, I was really no better than the other girls after him. Bad idea but what could I do? My smile disappeared quickly when my eyes fell on the door of my mother's bedroom.

             
Waking up to the sound of a car wasn't the best wakeup call ever. It got worse when I realized it was Gabe's car. He left without a goodbye or see you soon. I knew I was a little dense this morning. It's ten a.m., but I felt sleep deprived.

             
As I put my feet on the cold floor, I remembered where my mom was. Oh, I hadn't forgotten, but I put this information aside to calm down. Now, all I could think about was what would happen if she told them I was not eighteen.

             
I hated being in this position. Yeah, maybe I wasn’t mature, but I wasn’t the kind of girl who did crazy things. I was more responsible than most people my age. Stop! Right now, I needed coffee, and lots of it. In a zombie walk, I continued on to the kitchen and made coffee. I loved the smell. I took a deep breath and sighed happily.
A
simple pleasure to brighten up a day.
Good viewpoint, for now, and the now was in the past when my eyes registered the letter next to a doughnut. It's easy to know who wrote it. I poured a mug—with the Statue of Liberty on it—and sat down gracelessly. Poor chair.

             
I took a gulp and put down the coffee. The curiosity was more powerful than the nervousness. I took the letter, opened it, and began to read. What if he wanted to stay away from me because of what happened last night? Technically, nothing happened, but the possibility was there.

              Lily,

              I waited to see if you'd wake up, but you didn't, so I bought some doughnuts to excuse my absence at breakfast. If you want, I'll bring food for lunch before we go to the hospital to fetch you mother. See you soon.

- G -

             
He's thoughtful. I remember when I thought of him as selfish. I was so wrong that it's hilarious. There's just one thing that was disturbing me. There's no mention about last night. I didn't know if I could do the nothing happened thing. I wanted to speak about it because I was completely lost, but it would be awkward. If only one day could be simple, just one for once! I wrote him a message on my phone to let him know I was up.

             
I didn't want to be selfish, but helping me seemed to help him deal with the death of Connor. He's still mourning his loss, but not as alone as before. Me either. Without him, I preferred not to think what would have happened.

             
I finished my breakfast and headed to my bedroom to get ready for the day, and a little for Gabe. For once, I wanted somebody to see me as beautiful, or pretty. Just a little make-up for my eyes—eyeliner and mascara—and a cute sundress. Blue like my eyes, far from perfect, but not bad. Now I hoped he wouldn’t think it was for him even if it was partly true. I hadn't realized, we girls were that complicated.

              It's him! I heard his car.
Calm down and breathe
. I’d spent two hours alone in the house watching a movie on TV. A really bad one, I might add. I figured out the killer after only ten minutes.

             
I stood up and opened the door before he could ring the doorbell. He was surprised.
Good.
Well, I didn't know if it was because he found me pretty, or if he's just astounded to see me in a dress. I hadn't worn one since my seventh birthday because it wasn't practical to play in. Rectification, he's looking at my little cleavage.