Captivated by Your Love (The Blue Heart Series Book 2) (4 page)

I treaded down the stairs; my head hung low, eyes thick with moisture and my spirit in my back pocket. I had really fucked up in the biggest way and I didn’t know how to get myself out of this mess without hurting someone. The thing was, I knew that I would also hurt myself in the process.

I got to the landing and almost turned around to rush right back into Justice’s arms. I was a little shocked he hadn’t followed me out of the room raising hell. The talk had been intense and the kisses were so consuming they stole my breath and my heart at the same time. Now don’t get the wrong idea when I say heart. I wasn’t in love with Justice, but I certainly was in like with him.

This flirtation that we had been skirting around was finally blown wide open and I felt extremely bare to be around him. Like he could take my soul in his hands and caress it. He had not only seared me with his kisses but he had broken my resolve. The hardest part was telling him no. But if I knew Justice the way I think I knew him there, was no doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t give up easily. I would bet my first born on it.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

My first born. There was a strong possibility I was pregnant. The wait to find out if I was would be one that was going to tear away a piece of me day by day. At times I often found myself looking at Damien, Sydney, and Lucy and wishing I had what they had. I guess my wish just might come true, but all in the wrong ways. I was a major sinner; I had cheated on my boyfriend.

Hell, I hope you are ready for me because I’m sure I’ll be there. Yes, I was going to hell for sure. I’ve never been prudish. If there was a good time to be had you would find me in the center of it. Sydney was a bit more reserved than I was. I for sure was the hellraiser between the two of us. I was always up for trying a new adventure or pushing the limits. I usually dragged Sydney right along with me, reluctantly, most of the time. But we made a good pair. She was my bestie, my rock, the person I turned to for everything and counted on in more ways than one. Sure I had thought about not telling her about my sexcapades last night, but how could I not? It felt like if I didn’t share it with her then it wasn’t real.

Syd was going to flip her fucking lid though. One, I had a threesome and two, it was with her future brother in laws. One that I might just have a strong soul gripping attraction to.

Following the yummy smells coming from the kitchen, I tried to dry up my tears and pull myself together. I knew once I started talking I would end up being a big blubbering mess.

I walked into the kitchen and Sydney was hard at work frying up some bacon. I didn’t see baby Lucy around, nor did I see Damien. She lifted her head from the stove and froze. The tears instantly hit the back of my eyelids and I lost it right there in front of her.

“Bee, what’s wrong?” She stared at me with concern.

“Well, let’s see.” I started ticking the items off on my fingers. “One, last night I cheated on my now pissed off boyfriend. Not with one man but with…” I held up two fingers. “Two men. Both of which happened to be your future brother in laws.”

Her jaw hit the floor, then a huge smile spread across her face. “Go on.” This had to be the best gossip since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt.

“I might have told Justice I was his.” A tear slipped down my cheek. “And I’m pretty sure I got knocked up. That should about cover things in my fucked up morning.” I stood there waiting for her to rush over to me, pull me into her arms, and tell me that everything was going to be okay, but she didn’t. She stood there looking a little stunned and highly curious.

“So not to complicate things, but whose baby would it be?” she asked inquisitively.

“Justice’s,” I said firmly. “I only had sex with Justice. Reeve and I did other things.” Things that took me from sobbing mess to making my body quiver.

“Um ‘k. So what’s the problem? You got rid of Jensen. Which I might add is the best news of the day and you love kids. We can have kids close in age now.” She paused for a moment and then cleared her throat. “Did the condom break or something?”

“Actually, Mister Brilliant didn’t use one. Twice, I might add. I was so caught up in the moment with my wits spread all over the room that I didn’t even think about it or notice. It just felt so damn good.” I had to grin a little bit, thinking about how good it felt. While Reeve had the magic tongue, Justice was a master at his game. And when I said game, I meant sex.

“That good huh?” She grinned at me like she knew already.

“Yeah, it was mind blowing.” I let a small smile escape my lips but it was quickly stolen by thoughts of what I had done.

“Again I ask, what’s the problem?” She looked so confused. We were both blondes but I think she was having a moment. I walked over to the stove and stole a piece of bacon that she had just cooked.

“I’m just not a good person, Syd. Why would God give me a baby when I am clearly fucked up? I’m a cheater and I just might happen to like the guy that I cheated with.” Just thinking about him made my heart skip a beat.

“So you like Justice.” She raised an eyebrow in question.

I knew she was going to flip out but I had to be honest with her. “Isn’t it obvious? We have only been skirting around these feelings for a while now. I’m just so drawn to him.” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. “I don’t know if I should fuck him or fight with him.”

“Who are you fighting with, Bee? If it’s Jensen, I will lay him out.” Damien walked into the room shirtless and joined our little girl talk. I was close to Damien as well. He was such a good guy and treated Sydney like she hung the moon. Not to mention he was damn fine to look at with all of his tattoos covering his chiseled body. The siblings resembled one another, but Justice was clearly the best looking in the family. He did it for me. Especially now that he had grown out a beard. The way it had tickled my cheeks and my inner thighs; it was just delicious.

“Um, just to clue you in, babe, Bee had a threesome with your brothers last night.” Holy shit balls. Why did she have to be so forthcoming?

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I needed to do damage control.

“It doesn’t sound as bad as you think, Damien.” I looked down to the floor praying it might open up and swallow me whole. I sounded like the biggest ho bag.

He smiled at me, showing off his perfectly straight pearly whites. “It’s about time you got away from Jensen. That dude sucks and I don’t like the way he treats you. And my brothers are good guys. Justice can be a little bossy but he means well. You just have to take him for what he is.”

“Whoa, do you think I’m calling it off with Jensen? He will never know this happened never. Unless…” I looked to Sydney, pleading she didn’t say anything.

One might wonder how I could be so sure that the baby belonged toJustice and not Jensen. For starters, we always used condoms and never had one break. Jensen and I haven’t had sex for about a month which should be my major clue that something wasn’t right. We were both either too tired or fighting over something stupid. You would think that we would have make up sex, but that wasn’t the case.

I’ve always made a rule, even though I broke it last night, not to have sex here in the house. I’m trying to be respectful of baby Lucy sleeping. I can get kinda vocal so I have to be careful. I’m shocked that she didn’t wake up last night. We were pretty rowdy, especially Justice and his dirty talk. I couldn’t get enough of his dirty talk. Making comments about my wet pussy and how tight I was. I also threw in some dirty talk of my own. I liked to give back as good as I got and I got it good. Nothing turned me on more than to hear a man dirty talk to me.

Jensen lacked in that department, and in fact, he was mediocre at best in bed. God had skipped over him in the large cock department and he didn’t really know how to use what he had. To put it bluntly, he was pretty much a two pump chump. Gotta love it. Fuck my life. I was in such a mess. I knew what I wanted but I wouldn’t be able to obtain it. It just wasn’t in the stack of cards for me.

“Unless what, Bee?” Sydney asked. She was sure full of questions today. I knew she was probably having a field day with this situation. It was no secret she didn’t like Jensen. No one really did. Why I even chose him I’ll never know.

When we met he was super sweet but I knew there was something off about him. It was like he was the full package but he wasn’t. He was attentive to me in the beginning but now it seemed like I was more of his possession. There were many nights I fell asleep with a knot in my throat the size of Texas and tears on my pillow.

Fuck my life.

Just fuck it.

“Well, unless I’m pregnant then I have to tell him the truth. He can’t think the baby is his.” I would never do that to him.

“Baby?” Enter Justice. I just stared at him. He reached out to me and handed me my phone. “Here, babe. I entered my numbers into your phone and I also got your number. Your phone is blowing up with messages from that asshole. I don’t like the way he is talking to you. And are you talking about our baby?”

I snatched my phone from his hands and narrowed my eyes as him. “Are you insane? You read my messages? Do you not respect my privacy?” My ears got hot and I could feel my cheeks heat up. I was raging mad. How could he do that?

“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” he said to me nonchalantly.

“It is a very big deal. That is my personal business, Justice, not yours.” I seethed. I was beyond pissed; he had crossed the line.

“Well, the sooner you realize that you are my business the better off you and I will be. Like you said, you were mine and I plan on making sure you are.” His lips turned up like he was proud of himself.

“Gah!” I looked to Sydney and Damien. “Can you two do something about him?” I turned my eyes to Damien and pleaded with him through my worn expression. “Damien, he is your brother. Help me out here.”

I could hear Sydney snickering. I looked to her and she quickly erased her smile. Was everyone against me right now? I swear I couldn’t win if I were an Olympic champion.

“Bee, he’s my brother I’m used to him. There is nothing you can do about him. You just have to learn to live with his crazy bossy ass,” Damien said, giving me a look. I could tell he was sorry to deliver those words. Justice was such a pain in the ass.

“Quit talking about me like I’m not in the room. This shit is ridiculous,” Justice said.

“Quit snooping in my shit then I wouldn’t have to talk about you.” I threw back at him.

“How about if we all have some breakfast and just move past this for now?” Sydney interjected.

I was really hungry and could eat, but I needed to see what Jensen was saying to me. “I’ll be back.” I turned on my heel and started heading for the family room.

“Where are you going, Abbee?”

I swiveled my head around and gave Justice a piercing look. “That…” I narrowed my eyes, “is none of your damn business.”

Quickly making my escape, I walked into the family room and plopped myself down on our entirely too comfortable couch. I could easily put my head down and catch a nap considering I didn’t get much sleep last night. But there was no time for napping, I need to get this damn mess sorted and quick.

Swiping my phone open I looked at the number of texts I had. There were twenty; all but one was from Jensen, the other was from Justice. My stomach dipped. Holy shit. I bet he was pissed, especially since I hadn’t responded to him. I decided to open Justice’s first.

Justice: Thank you for the amazing night. I had fun. Admit you’re mine, firecracker, because everything, except your words, is telling me you are.

Damn, he was so right. I had basically let off every clue and signal that I was his. I just couldn’t shake him or what I felt toward him. I was so drawn to him and the sexual attraction I felt toward him dominated me.

With trepidation I closed his message and started with the first one from Jenson.

Jensen: What the fuck, Bee.

Jensen: I’m not happy with you. You don’t want me unhappy do you?

No, I didn’t want him unhappy with me; he scared the daylights out of me, especially when he got angry. We had fought too many times for me to count. I was just waiting for him to lose his control and go ape-shit.

I decided to open another message before responding.

Jensen: Explain to me what the hell was going on with Justice and why he was calling you Abbee like that was his special name for you.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Did he know? Surely he couldn’t know. I thought I did a good job with hiding my feelings for him and although this morning got out of control, I didnn’t think I gave him any clue that anything had happened between us last night.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

My stomach dropped even further. I decided I’d peek at one more message.

Jensen: Is there something I should know? Did you fuck him?

My nerves went haywire and a lone tear rolled down my cheek. I could feel a thin sheen of sweat knitting my upper brow while my lip quivered.

I decided to try to do some damage control. I went for the high road.

Me: Jensen, honey, I’m so sorry about this morning. Please let’s get together tonight and talk. I want to work everything out. I’m so very sorry.

Hopefully that would get him to lighten up on me some. I was very sorry but I really didn’t want to talk to him. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep and forget about this big fat mess.

My phone chimed and I looked down to see it was a message from Jensen.

Jensen: No. Let’s talk now. Did you fuck him? I asked you a question, bitch, and I expect for you to answer me.

Now he was calling me a bitch. The hair stood on the back of my neck and my stomach dipped further into a nauseated mess. What was I going to tell him? The way he was coming across via text was scaring the shit out of me. I needed to soothe him, to calm him down. I didn’t need for this to escalate.

Me: No nothing happened. I’m sorry that you feel that way he is just a friend. I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me a bitch again. I don’t deserve such a hateful word.