Captivated by Your Love (The Blue Heart Series Book 2) (7 page)

“I’m going to see about a girl,” I said rather loudly and then smiled. I turned my head back toward the table and it looked as though everyone had heard me. They all had pleased looks on their faces. I just hoped that Abbee would have that same look when she saw me.

Feeling rather pooped, I snuck in the house quietly so my mom wouldn’t hear me, and padded up to my room. I just really wasn’t in the mood to talk about where I had just gotten back from, I was still a little raw. It was still really early in the morning but it felt like midafternoon. This morning’s appointment had taken it out of me.

After much consideration, I had finally decided to go to the doctor about my depression. He had prescribed me some antidepressant medication and suggested a good therapist. That is where I was just getting back from, the therapist. This was already my second session in a week’s time. We had been talking about the miscarriage and how Jensen had made me feel. We were trying to work through my anger as well. The therapist didn’t beat around the bush at all. We were tackling my problems full force. I did feel better about things since I started seeing her. She was helpful and most of all she didn’t judge. I felt like I could really open myself up to her which was a good thing.

The doctor had said the antidepressants took a couple of weeks to fully get into my system, but I felt like I was already starting to see the effects and benefits from them. I still can’t believe I broke my rule and decided to be put on medication. It just made me feel a bit weak to have to depend on something to make me happy. He had explained that it was what my body needed and I was a nurse so I knew more about them than most, but it still didn’t make me feel like anything less than a failure.

Closing the door quietly behind me I made my way to my bed and threw myself down face first. I just stayed there in that position for a few moments. It felt so good to lie back down. Going to the therapist at eight in the morning was a bit early for me considering I had been sleeping my days away.

My mom had actually gotten me out of the house and fortunately we hadn’t run into anyone I knew. We just did a quick lunch and shopping. I had packed my things in such a hurry when I left Vegas that I didn’t have a whole lot with me; so we had stocked up a little bit, which had put a smile on my face. What girl doesn’t like new clothes? I know this girl does.

Rolling over I grabbed my purse and pulled my phone out of it. I swiped the screen to see if I had any new messages and I didn’t. I found it rather odd because typically Justice would have contacted me by now. He always made it a point to text me first thing in the morning and then before bedtime. It was really sweet. But I craved hearing from him. I had grown used to the daily texting. He was so sweet and he had been giving me the patience that I had asked him for. Although, I didn’t know how much longer he would wait.

I had been contemplating going back to Vegas. I was just so concerned about Jensen and what he might try to do to me again. I assumed he would also find me here if he was that determined. Wes had found Sydney in Vegas and that didn’t turn out pretty. So maybe I wasn’t safe anywhere I went. I just felt better being in my parents’ home. They were like a security blanket that was wrapped around me tightly. It was so nice being with them. Although I stayed in my room alone, I still enjoyed the time I had spent with them. They had continued to give me the space I needed. My mom would come give me daily pep talks but otherwise they left me to my own accord. It was nice.

My phone chimed and I quickly swiped the screen to see who it was. My heart sank when I realized it was Sydney. I loved my girl but who I really wanted to hear from was Justice.

Sydney: Hey girl what’s shaking?

Me: Just got back from the therapist.

I had told Sydney about seeing a therapist. Telling her everything that happened in my life was a reassuring balm to my soul. It made me feel better. I guess it made it feel validated. It was hard to explain. I wasn’t sure when I was going to tell Justice or if I even would. I didn’t want him to think I had some sort of mental illness. He was caring so I knew he would understand, but I didn’t want him to think less of me or that I couldn’t handle things on my own. And obviously I couldn’t handle things on my own, hence the medication.

Sydney: That’s wonderful. Do you feel like she is helping you at all?

Me: Yes

Sydney: Awesome. I’m so happy you reached out to someone. What you went through is never easy. Sometimes you need a second set of ears. A person who can give advice that doesn’t know you.

She was absolutely right. Getting advice from a stranger put me in my place so to speak. They weren’t swayed by any outside factors. It was also nice to have someone that would just listen to me. In our first meeting I think I drove her nuts because I barely shut up. This time around she did a lot of talking, which was really helpful.

Me: So how are you and my baby?

It was weird calling Lucy my baby especially after what I had been through. But she was my baby through and through. I loved that little girl and I missed seeing those chubby cheeks. She was absolutely precious and was a really good baby. Syd and Damien had lucked out for sure.

Sydney: She’s doing good. She misses her aunt Bee.

I got an alert that I had another new message was coming in and my spirits lifted. I hoped that it was Justice.

Although it wasn’t Justice, I got a little excited because it was someone I missed so much.

Spencer.

My Spencer.

Spencer: Were you not going to tell me you were back? I’ve missed the hell out of you.

I flipped back to Sydney.

Me: Syd did you tell Spencer I was back in Detroit.

Sydney: Well... umm. Yeah.

Me: I didn’t want anyone to know I was here. I was keeping it on the down low.

Sydney: Right. It would be good for you to see him while you are there.

What did she mean see him while I was here? She made it sound like I was coming back to Vegas. At this point I was staying in Detroit. I missed Vegas and especially my friends and of course Justice, but I didn’t feel like I could go back at this moment. I huffed out breath.

“Gah.”

I flipped over to Spencer.

Me: Sorry Spence I just hadn’t told anyone yet. How are you? I’ve missed you as well.

I had missed Spencer; we were really close, extremely close. Before I had left to go to Vegas we had spent all of our time together. Wherever I went he was always there.

Spencer: Hope you are home because I’m on my way over.

Me: Babe, I don’t think that is a good idea right now. I’m just not up for company.

Damn Sydney. I was pissed. Now I had to tell my story to someone else and I just wasn’t in the mood. I knew Spencer would get it out of me. He had a way with words. He and I just clicked. We were tight and got along so well. I thought about all of our times together and sighed to myself. He was such a good guy.

Spencer: Too bad. You love me and we are going to spend some quality time together.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I was never going to be able to reason with him. When he made up his mind he was balls out. In some ways I guess I was excited to see him but I just wasn’t in much of a mood to be around anyone at the moment.

Me: Oh alright. I guess I’ll see you soon. But I’m not up for a long visit.

Spencer: No problem. I just want to see your face and give you a hug.

I actually started to get a little excited about seeing him, even though moments before I didn’t want to see anyone. He was so good to me, the best. I guess it would be good for me. I needed to start getting back into the routine of life and having others being a part of it.

I looked down at myself and fully assessed what I was wearing. I looked like a slob in jeans and sweatshirt. I seriously needed to change into something cute. I wanted to look good for Spence. He was always so put together and even at this hour he would be looking hot. Because he was hot, so damn delicious. I could stare at him all damn day and never get tired of it.

My phone chimed again and I swiped it to see I had a message from Syd. Shit, I had forgotten about her.

Sydney: What did Spencer say?

Me: He’s on his way over now.

Sydney: That’s great. Give him a hug and a kiss for me and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. I know what happens when you two get together it can be bad.

Yes, Spencer and I were quite the pair when we got together. I thought I was wild; he was crazy. There was never a dull moment when we hung out. But it was so early in the morning I didn’t think we could get into too much trouble.

Me: Sounds good, babe.

Sydney: Talk to you soon and please think about coming back we all miss you so much. Lucy is really growing you are missing out.

Me: I know, I know. Give me some time.

Sydney: You have my word. Take your time just please consider it.

Me: Will do, babe. TTYL

I set my phone on the nightstand and then lazily got off the bed and headed over to my closet. I grabbed a pair of leggings and tunic, and quickly changed, then threw on a cute pair of knee high boots. I slipped on some bangles, silver hoop earrings and I was set.

I started to hear voices coming from downstairs and I got all excited. Spencer was here. I didn’t know why I didn’t want to see him, this would actually be really good for me.

There was a knock on my door.

“Come in!”

The door swung open and Spencer emerged. He looked stunning in a pair of jeans and a collared black shirt. His whiskey color hair was groomed perfectly and I had to lick my lips imagining the hard body that was underneath his clothing. He was to die for.

“Spencer!” I said to him and then rushed into his arms. He gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“So good to see you, sweetheart. How is my girl?” he asked and smiled down at me. He was tall, as in really tall.

“Better now that you are here.” And I meant that. It warmed my heart to see him again. My thoughts drifted to all of the good times we’d had together and my breath caught. I think I could definitely handle staying in Detroit for a little while longer. Just a bit.

Riding in cabs was never one of my favorite things to do, in fact riding with anyone didn’t suit me. I preferred to be behind the wheel and in control of the road. I’ve been told that I sometimes have road rage but I just blow it off. I can’t help it, I like to be in control.

The flight was long but thank God I was able to have a few beers and then doze off for a couple of hours. I didn’t feel totally refreshed but I felt better since I hadn’t stayed up all night. Fortunately we had a really good flight. I know I’m going to sound like a big ol’ pussy but I hate flying. It all has to do with control and not having it. I actually hadn’t been on a plane since that shit went down on 9/11. What a tragedy. So yeah, I guess you could say I was afraid of flying. If it would have been turbulent I would have been on pins and needles waiting to get off of the plane. It just isn’t my thing at all. But that would be a secret I would take to the grave with me. The only reason why I had gotten on the plane in the first place was to get Abbee back.

Abbee.

God I missed her. More than I’d ever missed another woman before. I looked forward to our daily texts but I especially looked forward to seeing her today. I just prayed that she would be excited to see me. I wasn’t sure if she would agree to come home with me or not. I was about done with giving her time. It had been two weeks. I think that was a long enough time to decide if you wanted to come back or not. But she could easily twist my ways. If she would at least give me a commitment she would be back then I could live with it.

She actually seemed to be doing better this last week. She was getting out more with her mom and overall her spirits seemed to be lifted. I knew what she went through was hard. Hell she was barely pregnant for a few weeks but just the thought that I could have had another child, especially with her, was upsetting. I planned to knock her up again eventually. She would make an excellent mother.

The sun streamed through the window of the cab warming my face. It kept on playing peek-a-boo with the clouds. With it being late fall the temperature was pretty chilly here. I hadn’t prepared for cooler weather since things were so nice in Vegas. As you know, we didn’t get snow because we were in the middle of the desert. So I wasn’t really dressed appropriately but at this point I didn’t really care. My main focus was seeing Abbee and getting her to come home with me.

It was late morning and I still hadn’t contacted Abbee yet. Normally, the first thing I did when I woke up was texted her. She was the first thing I thought of even before my eyes opened for the day and she was the last thing I thought of before I placed my head down on the pillow at night. She had invaded all of my thoughts on a regular basis.

Last night at my parents’ house went a lot better than anticipated. I figured everyone would rake me over the hot coals wanting to know my business, but they had all respected me.

Looking out the window, I noticed that we were making our exit off the highway. The cab began to slow as it went down the ramp. I guess the cab driver wasn’t all that bad. I noticed lots of restaurants and business as we drove further towards my destination.

I started to get really excited. Two weeks was too long to go without seeing her. I missed being able to go over to their house in Vegas and see her anytime I wanted. What she didn’t realize is those random pop-ins to see Damien were more to see her. Sometimes she wasn’t there because she was with that asshole but I knew her schedule and I timed it just right. I’m honestly shocked she didn’t realize I was there to see her, not Damien. When I would go over there I typically would spend more time with her. We would fight and then play and then fight some more. The woman was hell on wheels.

We drove into a neighborhood and I took in all of the houses that lined the streets. It was a really nice area; each house looked like it cost half a million dollars. The trees lined the streets full and tall and each house looked like it was well taken care of.

“You final destination should be right up here.” The cabbie addressed me.

“Thanks, man,” I replied back to him.

The cab slowed and my anticipation grew. I was excited to see her and I just hoped like hell she would be excited to see me. If she wasn’t I guess I didn’t really know what I was going to do. I was a fighter so I didn’t give up so easily, but you can’t make someone like you. All indications lead to her liking me. The way she talked to me over text and of course our flirtatious behavior over the last few months, but I just couldn’t be sure. I needed to get her to say that she was mine, then all would be right in my world.

As we came to a stop, I looked out the window my stomach bottomed out and not in a good way. I saw her but she wasn’t alone. She was in a tight embrace with another man. Every instinct told me to get out of the cab, walk up to them, tear them apart and then beat the shit out of the guy. But then something else happened, something so out of character for me. Completely out of character. I realized that if she wanted to be with someone else, then maybe I needed to let her go.

Maybe this was her plan all along and she felt safe with this guy. I couldn’t quite understand why she would tell me she missed me if she was seeing someone else. Maybe he was the reason why she wanted to move back to Detroit. I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around it but my head was swimming with all kinds of possibilities as to why she was in his arms and not mine. That was supposed to be me right now. She was supposed to be excited to see me.

My heart hurt. It felt like it had come to a complete standstill in my chest, just barely thumping. I felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach and I was starting to get a headache. In fact, my entire body felt like it had just seized or I had a heart attack or something traumatic happened. I just didn’t feel myself. Not at all.

“Sir.”

“Sir.”

I realized the cabbie was talking to me and it pulled me away from my ill thoughts.

“Sorry.” But I couldn’t take my eyes away from Abbee. She looked beautiful. In an outfit I hadn’t seen her in before. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head and she appeared to be smiling from what I could see. She looked a hell of a lot better than when I had seen her last. Thank fuck for that.

“That will be fifty dollars.” He pushed the meter and then turned around with his hand out, waiting for me to place money in it.

“Actually...” I had to think really hard about this and what I wanted to do. Would I just be myself and charge right into the situation or would I walk away? I wanted her more than anything but if she didn’t want me then why was I wasting my time? Deep down she would always be mine but at this point for my own sanity I had to take the high road. I may not move on today or tomorrow but I needed to. If she had wanted to be with me then she would have stayed in Vegas and let me take care of her like I wanted to do. Could this have been her plan all along? They looked pretty cozy, like two past lovers. Maybe he was an ex-boyfriend and she was rekindling a flame. I wanted to beat the shit out of him and to stake my claim, but what good would that do if she really didn’t want me in the first place?

“Actually, there is a change of plans. Can you just take me to the nearest bar?” There, I had said it. That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was walking away. More like I was driving. Still not being able to take my eyes off of her, I saw her look in my direction and then she mouthed my name.

At that point I didn’t know what to do, I was so torn. I didn’t know if I should stay or if I should go. She started charging for the cab and while everything told me to drive away and let her be happy, I knew that I would kick myself in the dick if I didn’t stop the car and figure things out. I needed to know more and I wanted to confront the mother fucker that just had his hands all over her.

“Stop the cab. I’ve changed my mind.” The cabbie backed the cab up and when we got to the curb in front of the house, she was there with a huge smile plastered to her face. I didn’t know if I should smile or growl. The dude was slowly on his way over to us.

I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and paid the cabbie his money. “Thanks, keep the change.”

Opening the door, I unfolded my body from the cab while Abbee just stood there staring at me with the goofiest grin on her face that I’d ever seen. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my spirits lifted slightly, not much, but enough to think that there was still hope.

“Justice, what are you doing here?” Abbee asked me. I couldn’t tell if it was a good surprise or a bad surprise that I was here. I saw the light in her eyes sparkle but I just wasn’t sure.

I stood and she rushed right into my arms, wrapping her legs around me and holding on tightly. The guy she was with finally approached us and I growled at him. Asshole better step the hell off, she was mine.

She pulled away and she looked confused. “Why are you growling, Justice?”

“Don’t think I didn’t just see you all locked up with this dude.” I motioned my head towards him.

“You mean one of my best friends, Spencer?” she asked me, and the smile had returned and it reached her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at me. “Seriously, Justice, you’re pissed off?”

“Well, what the hell was I supposed to think? I saw you two all hugged up.” I was still upset about it. “I need answers.”

“Justice, I don’t think I have to give you answers, you are not my boyfriend. But like I said, he is my friend. Believe it or not, I can’t make up your mind.” Her smile had faded but thank goodness she didn’t climb off of me.

“Abbee, I told you that you are mine.” I just stared at her and for a moment she stared back at me and I thought she might agree to that statement.

“No, I’m not.” But I saw a hint of a smile, just the tiniest sliver of one.

“Hey, man, I’m not sure what is going on but I’m gay. Bee and I are only friends. I just came to see her cause I heard she was back in town,” Spencer replied.

Abbee slapped me on the chest. “See, I told you so. Now stop being mean.”

Abbee climbed off of me. “Justice, meet my friend Spencer. We’ve know each other since grade school. Spencer, meet Justice. He is the guy I was just telling you about.” She motioned to me.

What the fuck was she saying about me? I wanted to know. “I hope it was all good?”

“Of course it was, silly, now drop your hackles and play nice.” I stuck out my hand and Spencer shook it.

“I was actually just leaving. Bee, it was great to see you. I’ll come by again soon,” Spencer said.

“Okay, Spence, see you soon.” She gave him a smile and he walked off to his car. Thank fuck he was out of the way. To think I was actually going to kick his ass.

“I was getting worried when I didn’t hear from you today. Now it all makes sense. You were coming to see me.” She rushed into my arms again and threw herself around me.

“I came to take you home,” I told her. I wanted her home in Vegas, in my house with me.

She pulled away and her face was flushed. Shit, I had just poked the bear. “What do you mean you came to take me home? I am home.”

“I mean Vegas, with me in my home.” She needed to know what was up and my plans for her. I had been patient long enough. I wanted her with me.

“First of all, I’m not going back to Vegas. I’m doing really well here, and secondly, you are delusional if you think I’m going to your home,” she spit at me.

“What the hell, Abbee?” Now it was my turn to be pissed. She had just turned me down. I didn’t like being turned down.

“The name is BEE!” She punched me on the arm. She didn’t really hit like a girl either. My arm stung a little bit but I blew it off.

“Chill the hell out, Abbee.”

“Gah! You have been here all of five minutes and you are already are making me crazy!” She blew out a breath.

I took a cleansing breath and tried to calm myself down. If I wanted her home with me I needed to be reasonable and talk to her rationally. “Give me one good reason why you won’t come home with me.”

“That’s easy. One word, Jensen.” Her lips turned down and I could tell she was upset.

I moved closer to her and rubbed my thumb over her cheek and spoke to her with sincerity. “Baby, don’t you know you are safe with me? I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you and no one, and I mean no one, can take care of you better than I can. Just come home and give it a try. You have my word. I vow to protect you.”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and then sighed. “I believe you, honestly I do, but I’ve started making progress here.” She paused and a lone tear rolled down her cheek. I brought my lips there and kissed it away. “I just don’t want to go backwards, you know. This.” She motioned behind her. “Is what I know and where I feel the safest.”

“I will be by your side always. I’ve scheduled some time off of work. I plan on helping you get through this. You have me. So fucking have me.” And she did have me. I was crazy about this sweet little thing and would do anything for her. No one would stop me from taking care of her and treating her the way she deserved to be treated. No one.

“That’s sweet, Justice, it really is. I just—” She paused.

“You can, baby. Please try for me. I’m fucking miserable without you. I don’t have anyone to fight with.” That brought a smile to her face and I returned it with one of mine. But I was miserable, so miserable I was making everyone around me suffer. My partner was sick of my shit and was relieved when I told him I was taking some time off.

“How much time do you have off?” she asked inquisitively. Things were looking a bit better.

“I took off ten days, but I can take off more time if I need to. Why don’t you just come back and give it a try? If you don’t like it then...” I didn’t want to say the next words but it needed to be said. I was demanding but I wasn’t an asshole. “If you don’t like it then you can come back to Detroit. But I assure you once you are back you are never going to want to leave me.” I would do whatever it took to ensure that once my ten days were up she would be a permanent fixture in my life.

“You seem so sure of yourself. But I will admit I’m always up for a good fight.” She raised an eyebrow and then batted her eyes at me. It was damn cute and flirtatious.