Choices (6 page)

             
Logan was dumfounded. “Why would she do that? What kind of friend would do that? ” Logan asked, the anger for her in his voice a tangible thing.

Abby gave a bitter laugh.

              “I’m trying to figure that out myself. She wanted me to know it was going on for two years. Two years! God, what a fool I’ve been!” Abby threw up her hands and shrugged. Her tears threatened to begin again, but she blinked them back.

             
“You know, when I first found out about him cheating, when I thought it was only once, that is, I wanted to fight for my marriage. I figured we could work it out. Maybe I hadn’t given him enough attention or something.”

             
“That’s bullshit. You were right to get out. No one should stay in a marriage when that happens.” Logan said, getting up from the sofa to pace in front of her.

“No, most people wouldn’t, but I’d invested 13 years into that relationship, and I wasn’t raised to be a quitter.” She watched him pace back and forth in front of her, wondering at his anger. Why should he be angry on her behalf? He didn’t know her after all, but she found she liked it.

“Could you please sit down? It hurts my neck to look up at you. You’re very tall.” Abby tried to joke. Logan dropped down on the floor in front of her.

             
“Look, Abby, it’s not about being a quitter. It’s about your self-respect, and doing what’s right for you.” Logan reached out and took her hands in his. It was something a friend would do, but Abby couldn’t look at him as a friend. She was hurting, and he was right, her self-respect and ego had taken a beating.

S
he looked down at their joined hands, hers pale, folded into his, tanned and strong, and felt and overwhelming urged to just lean forward into him, feel his arms come around her, his firm mouth on hers in a kiss. She looked up, into his eyes, and could see that he felt the same.

             
Before she knew what she was doing, she did lean forward and his arms did come around her, and his mouth was on hers, the firm pressure of his lips sending strands of fire down her spine, into her soul. She knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. With a groan, he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing her lips apart. He brought his hands up to her cheeks, cradling them, bringing her deeper into him. Her hands ran up the front 3of his shirt to pull him closer. She felt like she was spinning out of control.
              Logan reacted. His conscience was screaming at him to stop, but she felt so good, tasted so good, he couldn’t stop. He moved his hands to her back and laid her down on the rug in front of the fire and kissed her until he thought his heart would burst, it was racing so fast. All the while he fought an internal battle. What he was doing was wrong; she didn’t need this in the condition she was in! She was hurt and needed comfort, not mauling. He was crossing a line, his own personal code of honor.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue mating with hers, then he broke away, only to dance kisses along her jaw, over her cheeks, her eyelids. He felt her hands running down his back, tugging his shirt from his waistband.

The feel of her hands galvanized him, and he pulled back, out of breath. He rolled away from her and sat up, running a hand through his hair.

“God, Abby, I’m so sorry.”

Abby lay there on the rug, shame washing over her. What had she done? She couldn’t lie, and say that she didn’t want him. That was the problem; she did want him. He didn’t need to be mixed up with a woman who had no idea where her life was going at this point. She brought her hands up to cover her eyes, willing her mind and body back to some semblance of normalcy.

             
“It takes two to tango. Don’t worry Logan; I won’t hold it against you.”

He turned back to her.

              “I took advantage of the situation, and I shouldn’t have. “

The tears threatened again, and Abby gave a watery laugh. “I’m an adult Logan, I could’ve said no. And if I’m not mistaken, I kissed you first. I’m sorry. You should go.” Abby stood. What a mess.

              “Look, Abby, I’m worried about you. We both agree that what happened shouldn’t have happened, and we are both adults. I don’t want to leave until I know you’re alright. Truce?” Logan shoved his hand in his pockets, and wished they would stop itching to grab her and kiss her senseless.

Abby looked at him, standing with his back to the fire, and nodded.

              “I think there’s some whiskey in the cupboard. Would you like some?”

It would be a long night.

Chapter Three

Abby awoke the next morning in her bed, with no knowledge of how she got there. She was still fully clothed, but her shoes were off. She sat up, and groaned. Her head felt fit to split, and a hairy dog had taken up residence on her tongue. She got up and stumbled to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and splashed her face with cold water. Feeling a little more human, she looked at her bedside clock. Still early, not even 7 yet. Where was Logan? She jerked back to the bed, as if she wouldn’t have noticed a 6’3” man in it when she first woke up. Nope, he wasn’t there. She didn’t remember him leaving, but she remembered at least part of last night.

God, what was wrong with her? She wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with her. She had been feeling pretty sorry for herself, and needed a little boost to her ego, but that’s what flirting was for. She had practically thrown herself at him. She walked down the stairs, and smelled coffee. Did she leave the coffee pot on? She stopped at the foot of the stairs and thought she had died and gone to heaven.

Standing in her kitchen, barefoot, was Logan. His shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open, showing a well-muscled chest and perfect six-pack, all covered nicely in a fine dusting of black hair that narrowed to a strip where it disappeared into his jeans. Happy trail, some disembodied voice of adolescence floated through her brain and she quickly tamped down the thought. He was looking out the window, his head turned to the left, and she felt she could look at his profile forever, the straight line of his nose, the firm shape of his mouth. Oh that mouth knew some moves.

“Okay, if I’m supposed to resist temptation, you can’t look like that in my kitchen.” Abby huffed, leaning against the banister and crossing her arms across her chest.

Logan jumped and sloshed coffee onto the floor. Abby couldn’t help it, she started to laugh, deep belly laughs that had h
er bending over, her arms wrapped around her stomach. What an interesting turn her life had made!

Logan grinned, and then turned to the sink to grab a dishcloth. He buttoned up his shirt then bent over to clean up the mess he made.

“I didn’t hear you get up. I fell asleep on the couch after you went to sleep, and it was late. I figured you wouldn’t mind.” He lifted a shoulder in a shrug, and Abby looked at him, tears of laughter running down her cheeks.

“How did I get up there? I sure don’t remember climbing the stairs.”

Logan had the grace to look chagrined.

“I carried you. You were in no condition to walk. I promise I didn’t take advantage. I might have stared at your feet when I took off your shoes, but that’s about it.”

Abby walked over to the coffee pot, and Logan placed his hand on her upper arm. She turned to look at him, marveling in the fact that just that touch could make her warm down to her toes.

“Look, Abby, I just wanted you to know something. Can we sit and talk for a bit before I leave?” He looked down into her eyes, wanting to drown himself in their green depths, but he had come to a decision in the dark hours of the night, as she lay asleep in the room above.

              “Sure, let’s go sit at the table.” Abby gestured with her coffee cup and they moved to the table.

Logan sat across from her and leaned back in his chair. He tried to think of where to begin, all the thoughts that had gone through his head last night jumbled into a mess.

              “I would like to apologize again for last night. No, please let me say this,” he stopped her from trying to alleviate some of his guilt “I should never have kissed you, that wasn’t right. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I didn’t feel anything about it or about you. I’m not the kind of man who makes conquests. If that was the case, hell, I would have had you right there on the floor, but that’s not me. I know you’re going through some hard times and you were probably just looking for some comfort. I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about me. I won’t do that again.” Logan finished, expecting her to nod and agree. What he didn’t expect was her anger, and it was a living thing. She stood up so fast her chair fell over, and her face flushed with anger.

“Saint Logan, right? It was all your fault? You could have had me? I told you last night Logan that it takes two to tango, I remember that much, and I was right there with you. Yeah, my life is a complete mess, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with the pieces that are left of my life, but the fact is I wanted to be the
re with you! I have never felt anything like that before, and if I hadn’t felt so guilty myself, I would have been reveling in it! I am insanely attracted to you, Logan, and I don’t know what to do about that, because I’ve never been in a situation like that, so if it makes you feel better to play the saint, and take all the blame on your shoulder’s that’s fine with me, but don’t you sit there and pretend it didn’t happen.” She turned and ran up the stairs, and he heard the bedroom door slam.

             
“Well, hell.” He muttered. That had not gone according to plan. Heat had surged through his veins at her admission of being attracted to him, but he was still going to take the blame, he knew himself too well. She had been upset and looking for comfort and he had practically made love to her on the floor.

He stood up and put his boots on. He heard her stomping around angrily upstairs.

              “Well, hell.” He muttered again and walked out.

Abby leaned against the door and cried, her body shaking with
tremors. He was right, in a way. It took the both of them, but it shouldn’t have happened.

She wiped a hand across her cheeks, clearing away self-pity tears. Self-pity was new to her, she usually never
wallowed in it, but it was somewhat cathartic. At least he was honorable, that was something you didn’t see every day. He wanted her, which was also clear. Why she should feel like he betrayed her, rejected her, was beyond irrational. And that was it, this anger she was feeling. She felt rejected twice, once from her ex-husband, and now from Logan, who was a virtual stranger.

Would she have felt better if they had made love? She shook her head. No, she would have felt worse, lower than low, and Logan would probably have felt so guilty he would’ve left in the night then avoided her for the next two weeks, and she didn’t want that.

She straightened up, resolved to just forget what had happened and apologize to Logan for her irrational behavior. It would be hard to forget, because she could still feel his lips moving across her face, whisper soft kisses arousing her to a fever pitch. She brought her fingers to her lips, hoping to catch that fleeting ghost of sensations that she could still feel, then dropped them, knowing it was something she should let go of.

She headed for the bathroom, and a very cold shower.

              Logan was also standing in a cold shower, the icy water sluicing over his over-heated body. He tried to understand her anger, he had apologized, to make what happened right, but she had been so angry. Gorgeous, but angry.

He turned around and let the water stream over his back. He would just try to act normal, and rational, when he was around her, which didn’t have to be too often. He had a ranch to ru
n, he couldn’t spend time trying to seek her out. Although, there was today he had to get through, if she came down to the stables. Maybe it would just be better if she didn’t.

He tried to make sense of his reaction to her. Sure, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but he wasn’t a man who went crazy for a woman just because she looked good; she had to have personality to match. Well, she did. Last night at dinner was the best time he had had in long time, and it wasn’t even just the two of them. His friends were there, and she fit in so well. She was smart, funny, and caring. She tried to draw Jake out of his awestruck state, and the fact that Jake was completely mooning over her didn’t seem to faze her. She could’ve been the kind of woman who basked in such male attention, but she didn’t.