Choices (45 page)

I couldn’t stop shaking; King Cobra was rearing his ugly head again. I was
sweating and choking back the bile that was starting to rise in my throat. I placed a hand over my mouth and took a deep breath. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms rise and hear Brandon muttering and putzing around the kitchen.  I picked up the slip of paper that had a phone number attached to it and read the number, definitely not a number from this area code. In fact I didn’t recognize the area code at all. I turned the piece of paper over and saw a name that made my blood run cold.

I was so distracted on the car ride back home. I couldn’t think straight.
I know that Brandon was talking to me and he was rambling on about the farm and I simply smiled at him and shook my head. He was so enmeshed with his ideas about the farm; he didn’t notice my nonchalant responses.

What a convoluted mess, yet it will be to Brandon’s benefit. At least I hope. I’ll need to handle this extremely delicately like my Grandmother Lillian’s antique
glass baby girl, Christmas ornament. Jesus, when it was my turn to hang that ornament on the tree I broke out in a sweat and hives about three days before we even decorated the dang tree. I have a feeling talking about this situation with the people I need to talk to won’t be any less anxiety provoking. I’ll do it, though, without a second thought. I’ll do it for Brandon. Events will unfold and resolve themselves the way they are supposed to whether I’m anxious or not. But the anxiety will be worth it if Brandon’s dream comes true of having the family he always yearned for.
What’s puzzling me so darn much is the name! Really?
Hmmm…the name was certainly familiar; however, the phone number was not. Well, lots of people share the same name, even the same last name as well. What about the area code? What state did it represent? It seems oddly familiar as well, but I can’t place it. I’ll have to research it. If the name on the slip of paper actually belonged to the person I think it belongs to then what’s the connection, what’s the involvement?
Then suddenly it dawned on me and hit me like a lightening bolt. I shivered violently while I remembered something a neighbor was trying desperately to tell me and I squeezed Brandon’s thigh.

“Who
a, ouch, woman! What are doing?” He smiled at me seductively. “Oh, I get it! You want to pick up where we left off at the farmhouse? No problem, sexy, but do we have to play so rough?” Once he took a look at my face, his sweet, sexy, lopsided smile turned into a frown immediately. “What’s wrong? That look on your face certainly isn’t making me feel all hot and bothered in a good way. In fact you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” He took one hand off the steering wheel and gently pried my fingers from his thigh.

“Oh, I’m okay, it’s nothing.”
I shivered again.

“Laurel, c’mon it doesn’t look like nothing.”

“No, really, I’m sorry I hurt you and scared you.” I gently rubbed his leg where I had gorged my fingernails into his thigh and smiled to ease his concern even though I really felt like screaming and pulling my hair out. “I’m fine. Just sometimes, when the milk comes in fast and hard it really hurts. That’s all. I just need your son to help me out. It’s time to get home.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m sure.”

“Daddy! Wow, that has a really cool ring to it. I like it. I like it a lot. Okay, then let’s put the pedal to the medal and get Momma home.”

Yeah, let’s get Momma home so I can shovel out again from underneath Jo’s mess!

When we reached home, I fed Noah
, placed him in his crib, and pulled out the tiny slip of paper. Brandon and Joni were talking about plans for the farm and the other children were still with Paul so I had time to make the call. It was a number I didn’t recognize and was compelled to call in light of the overwhelming and mind-numbing information I just discovered. I took a deep breath, picked up my cell phone and locked the bathroom door in the basement. I prayed Joni or Brandon wouldn’t find me. I quietly closed the toilet lid and slumped down on it and fiddled with my new ring for a moment, just marveling at another set of extraordinary events today that were life-altering. I suspected grimly that this particular phone call I was about to place was going to be just as life altering - if not for me than for my loved ones, especially Brandon.

God, what the hell happened?
How different would life had been for Joni’s husband Marc and Mitch and Kristy if they only knew, if they only had all the facts, if Henrietta had come forth earlier. I don’t know maybe Jo would still be alive and maybe I would have never met Brandon or under different circumstances. What then?

I rubbed my fingers delicately over the number pads on my cell phone. Life was full of unknowns; that’s what made it exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time like a roller coaster ride for sure
.  I shook my head to clear it and blinked back tears.

No, don’t start walking down that path. Focus on what needs to be done now and maybe; just maybe I can put an end to this nightmare once and for all.
Am I doing the right thing? Should I just leave well enough alone? Will Brandon understand? Will he be hurt more? Am I just trudging up old painful memories and secrets that are better left buried with Todd and Jenny? No, there’s a connection to these young lovers who died a tragic and early death through this phone number. I need to find out the truth and put an end to this web of lies but, it’s only going to end if I make the call. So, Laurel, what are you waiting for?

I blew out a huge and heavy breath through pursed lips and punched in the numbers from the slip of paper I pulled out of my jean shorts pocket. It rang only once.

“What are you doing, Laurel, calling me on this number?
The voice was calm and cool as a cucumber but hesitant maybe ever so slightly nervous and one I recognized immediately. I sucked in my breath like I was sucker punched in the solar plexus. I couldn’t breathe. Shivers ran down my spine and into my hands and feet. I was perspiring even though the AC was blaring thanks to the July heat. 
How, how can this be? How is he involved? Why? What’s the payoff for him? He didn’t even know these people?
I started to shake and King Cobra was ready to strike.
Not now I told my stomach, not now.

“
You’re playing a very dangerous game here and I suggest you rethink what’s at stake for your benefit and your family’s.” The call ended and I got up and puked in the toilet. One for King Cobra.
What the hell do I do now?

“Laurel? Laurel? Hey, sexy Momma, where are you?” I could hear Brandon pound down the basement steps. I quickly got up off the floor, flushed, quick mouthwash rinse and check in the mirror, another big breath and I opened the bathroom door.

“Hey, Daddy, I’m right here.” His smile beamed like a lighthouse beacon on a dark, misty night.

“Wow! I’m just loving that word! I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it.”

I snorted, “Trust me, in time, yes, you will.”

He grew very serious, “No, Laurel, I won’t. Ever.” I ran my shaking fingers alongside his scruffy jaw and tried to look tenderly into his eyes. “I know you won’t.”

“Laurel, are you sure you’re alright? You look so pale again and you’re hands are shaking and they’re so cold.” He took my hands into his and started rubbing them and then placed them over his heart. “You know, sweetheart, you can tell me anything. I owe you so much. You’ve given me so much. I know something’s wrong. Please, don’t shut me out. Please tell me.” His eyes widened with a sudden realization. “Oh my God, Laurel! Are you
? Are you?…” He took a huge gulp of air as if mustering up the courage for battle. “Are you pregnant again? Wait, we were careful though, but nothing’s a hundred percent safe.” He shrugged his shoulders and then as if I thought his smile couldn’t beam anymore, now it was blinding. I didn’t know what to do so much was churning around inside my brain. I needed more time to figure out how the voice I knew, loved and trusted was involved in this. I couldn’t think of any other way to explain my current circumstances and I certainly wasn’t going to say anything to Brandon until I had all the facts. So I said a quick silent pray and hoped that Brandon would forgive me this lie.

“Um…I’m not sure, maybe, possibly, yes. Um…it’s a little hard to tell while you’re nursing.” I shrugged and tried to look as innocent as I could.

“Laurel, c’mon, you’re a nurse. Which is it! Yes or no!” His eyes were piercing, forceful, intense. Well, I just frickin’ hated it when he got so demanding. It was unnerving seeing someone so young be so commanding. Also he had me pinned up against the wall, grinding his pelvis into mine and his hands planted firmly against the wall too on either side of my head.  He was manipulative and was skillful enough to know that right now, I was simply putty in his hands. I tried to fight it and I knew what kind of sexual game he was playing and also knew I should put a stop to it right here and right now or I would never win any battles with him, but after all Brandon was very skillful and this was only one battle. I’m sure the war would soon follow and age has some advantages. This was serious. I couldn’t allow for any doubt or he would be destroyed before I had the chance to protect him.

“Yes, Brandon, I’m pretty sure I am.” I swallowed hard and said another silent pray and hoped my guardian angels would carry it to where it needed to go.

“WHOO-HOO!” He whooped and twirled me around the basement.

“Please, Brandon, put me down, I’m going to puke again.” It really wasn’t far from the truth.

“Well, hot damn!! Laurel, this is wonderful and I know what I’m about to say is so corny and clichéd but I can’t help myself. You have made me the happiest man alive.”
Yeah, you say that now but something tells me in a few weeks you may be thinking differently.

A few days later I went back to work since having Noah. I was so preoccupied I was frightened I was really going to screw up. I just couldn’t get that voice out of my head not to mention his warning. I was a little jumpy to say the least.
Well, let’s just take it moment by moment today and then when I get home maybe I’ll make some serious plans about taking a ride up to the prison to see Henrietta and Lester and ask them a few questions.

Well, a few hours later and things were progressing smoothly. I received many well wishes and requests for baby pictures which I happily obliged. There were astonished gasps too and many more inquiries when my co-workers saw my newly acquired bauble. I smiled, passed out pictures and answered questions to the best of my knowledge, which was limited due to the pressing matter of trying to solve my fiancé’s true parentage and figuring out how to present it to him. I had toyed around with a few options. I could tell him while we were making love and he’d never hear me or I could give him a choice such as being hit over the head with a sledgehammer or blunt truth trauma which when you thought about it really there wasn’t much of a choice because they probably would both have the same result. I made my rounds through the ER and then checked out the schedule, hoping that the day’s demands would quiet some of my own. Not only was I freaking out about being a detective who was also being threatened; I was missing Noah terribly. I cried when I handed him over to Helen, who as only a mother could, understood the pain in my eyes and heart and without any words simply smiled, nodded her head and gave me a world of unspoken comfort.

I was assigned to triage today and nothing too crushing
; just the usual mid summer ailments such as sunburn, swimmer’s ear and stitches. I noticed that my thermometer was wonky so I decided when I had a spare minute I was going to the supply room and hunt down a new one. Ebony was on with me today. If you ever wanted to work ER triage with someone, Ebony was it. Ebony was of a considerable size and from one of the toughest sections of the city of Philadelphia. She scared the shit out of me the first day I met her. Once you got to know her you learned that her heart was as big as her persona but she only let a few people know that. Thank God, I was one of them. She was not someone to cross and I loved watching her in action when someone was stupid enough to do it. Ebony was a veteran of the streets as well as the ER. She’s been an ER nurse for thirty-five years and absolutely refuses to retire.

“Oh no child, I ain’t goin’ nowhere! They gonna have to drag me out this place, sure ‘nuff.
Mmmhmm.” She pursed her lips together and shook her head as she told me this the first day I worked with her.

“Hey, Ebony
, I’m going to run into the supply room and get a new thermometer since this one’s a little wonky and it’s slow right now.”

“
Ohh, you must be feelin’ brave, chil’, going into that basement. Go on with your bad self, go ahead, girl, and bring back a new bp cuff too. Now, don’t be too long.” She shooed me on my way as she gave lipservice to someone being sassy. “Oh, no you didn’t…You musta been dropped on yo head when you was a chil’.” I could hear her say as I chuckled my way into the hall  heading down to the elevator to take me to the basement to the temporary supply room. There was construction in the ER and the supply room needed to be rerouted to the basement for the time being. I hated going into the basement. It gave me the creeps but I needed a break from the hustle and bustle and I wanted to give Helen a quick call too. Before I pushed the elevator button to take a ride to the dungeon I called my mom.