Claudia and the Bad Joke (10 page)

     
“An answer to what?”

     
“Are you in the club or not?” Kristy asked bluntly.

     
“What is this?” I cried. “Torture Claudia Day? I don’t have an answer.”

     
“Claud,” Dawn said gently, “we don’t want you to leave the club. But if you’re going to, we need to know.”

     
“Right,” agreed Kristy, a little more sympathetically. “I mean, we couldn’t keep holding meetings in your room if you weren’t a member of the club. So we’d have to find a new meeting place and give our new number to all our clients. We’d have some work to do. That’s why we’d kind of like your answer.”

     
I sighed. “I just can’t tell you yet. Because I

don’t know the answer myself. I’m really sorry. I know it isn’t convenient.”

     
“Oh, Claud,” said Mary Anne, sounding disappointed. “You can’t drop out of the club. We’ve had too much fun. Remember —“

     
“This wasn’t fun,” I said, pointing to my leg.

     
“No, of course not. But don’t forget about the fun we have had. Remember when Lucy Newton was christened?”

     
“And remember our trip to Disney World?” said Dawn.

     
“And our trip to New York?” added Kristy. I glanced at Ma! and Jessi, hoping they didn’t feel too left out. They hadn’t come to New York with us, since they were too young. And they hadn’t been part of the club when we went on the other trip.

     
But they didn’t look upset at all, which meant that they probably weren’t even thinking about the trips. They just wanted an answer from me, like everyone else did.

     
“Can I give you my answer in a week?” I asked. “That’s all I need. Just one more week.”

     
“Okay,” said Kristy. “Sure. Claud, tell us something, though. Do you miss baby-sitting?”

     
“I miss everything!”

     
“Honestly. Do you miss it?” she asked seriously.

     
I paused. “Yes. I do. I’d give anything to see Jamie or Mynah or Gabbie or Karen or one of your sisters or brothers, Ma!.”

     
“You’re going to stay in the club, I just know you are!” exclaimed Mary Anne.

     
“I’m really not sure,” I said.

     
We stopped talking then because the phone began ringing. We set up some jobs.

     
“How’s Betsy?” I dared to ask, when we hit a lull.

     
“The same,” replied Ma!, sounding irritated. “Joke, joke, joke. We can’t beat her. She’s unstoppable.”

     
“We’re losing the war, aren’t we?” I said. Kristy screwed up her face. “I hate to admit it, but yes. We’re losing it.”

     
“That’s what I was afraid of,” I said thoughtfully. “Mimi is right. We can’t control everything in life. And I don’t like that.”

     
My friends and I looked at each other. No one said a word. The room was silent.

     
“Gosh, I’m bored!” I exclaimed. “Anyone have any lint balls? I’ll be glad to pick them off your clothes for you.”

     
We all laughed — but I was feeling worried. Now I had only a week to decide if I really wanted to be in the Baby~sitters Club.

Chapter 13.

Leave it to Sam? No — leave it to Kristy. Kristy and her great ideas. Sam did help her, but Kristy was the one who finally beat Betsy at her own game of jokes. On Saturday, three days after I was allowed to go back to school, Kristy had a special sitting job with Betsy. The movie theater downtown was having a twoweek-long run of kids’ movies — Mary Poppins, The Parent Trap, The Red Balloon, The Wizard of Oz, Swiss Family Robinson, all sorts of things. The Saturday afternoon feature was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and Mrs. Sobak had asked Kristy to take Betsy while she and Mr. Sobak went to another golf tournament. She said she’d buy the tickets and refreshments, then pay Kristy a small fee. (After all, Kristy was getting a free movie out of the deal.)

     
The movie date was Kristy’s first job with Betsy. Kristy saw it as a giant challenge. She wasn’t sure she could actually beat Betsy, but she was determined not to lose another battle. As soon as she found out what kind of afternoon had been planned for her and Betsy, she went to her brother Sam. She explained the problem we were having and — bang — just like that, Sam had tons of advice (well, jokes) for Kristy. And they were jokes that would work especially nicely in a movie theater.

*
    
* *

     
At twelve o’clock on Saturday afternoon, a car horn honked in front of the Brewer man— sion. Kristy ran outside. The Sobaks were waiting in the driveway. She slid into the backseat next to Betsy. Mr. and Mrs. Sobak were in the front.

     
“Now,” said Mrs. Sobak as she drove through Stoneybrook, “the movie starts at twelve-thirty and it’s long — almost two and a half hours — so it’ll let out just before three. Mr. Sobak and I will be home around five. You two can walk to our house after the movie — it isn’t far — and then Kristy, we’ll drive you home later. Is that okay?”

     
“That’s fine,” replied Kristy, as Betsy sneakily squirted her with her trick fountain pen. Kristy ignored Betsy. She didn’t even wipe the water off her face.

     
The Sobaks let Betsy and Kristy off in front of the movie theater. Mrs. Sobak handed Kristy some money, and then she pulled the car into the stream of traffic on Stoneybrook’s main street. “Ta-ta!” she called.

     
“Okay, Bets,” said Kristy. “Get ready for a great movie. And,” she went on, “I have something important to tell you. I’d like you to listen carefully.”

     
“Okay,” said Betsy curiously, as Kristy pulled

her away from the crowd of kids in front of the theater.

     
“What I want to tell you is . . no more practical jokes. I won’t put up with them,” said Kristy firmly. “I don’t like them, even if you do. So no practical jokes. Got it? Not one more.” Kristy had told herself that she would not put her plan into action unless it was really called for. If Betsy was good, then Kristy would not continue the practical-joke war.

     
“Okay,” said Betsy a bit uncertainly.

     
“I’m not kidding,” Kristy told her. “So promise me.”

     
“I promise.”

     
“What do you promise?”

     
“I promise not to play any more practical jokes,” said Betsy obediently.

     
“All right,” Kristy replied.

     
Betsy flashed Kristy a big smile. “Please can I give the lady the money for our tickets?” Betsy begged. “I just love doing that. I’ll say, ‘One adult and one child, please.’”

     
“Sure,” said Kristy. “Here you go.” She held out some of the money Mrs. Sobak had just given her. Betsy reached for it, and — BZZZZZZ!

     
“Gotcha!” hooted Betsy. “I gotcha with my joy buzzer! Hee-hee-hee!”

     
I don’t believe it! thought Kristy. The kid

played another joke. Right after flat-out promising not to. Well, that does it. The plan goes into effect now.

     
Kristy just smiled. Soon she would be the one saying, “Gotcha!”

     
Betsy and Kristy joined the line of kids waiting to buy tickets. An awful lot of people were standing outside the theater. Kristy looked around, hoping to see someone she knew. But she didn’t recognize any faces.

     
Betsy did, though. “Hey! There are Hilary and Cici!” she whispered to Kristy. “Oh, and Justin and Joey.”

     
“Go say hi,” Kristy suggested.

     
Betsy looked uncomfortable. “Uh, no. That’s okay.”

     
“No, really. Go on. I’ll save our places in line.”

     
Betsy shook her head. “I don’t think they like me.”

     
“Any particular reason?” asked Kristy.

     
“Maybe because I tied their shoes together during assembly last week. When they stood up, they fell down.”

     
“Well, that’d do it,” said Kristy drily.

     
“And also because I fixed the door to the girls’ room so that a baggie full of water fell on Cici when she went inside. . . . Oh, and I put fake ants in Justin’s sandwich, and a fake

fly in Joey’s pudding, and fake barf in Hilary’s lunch.”

     
“You put fake barf in someone’s lunch?” exclaimed Kristy. “That’s disgusting!”

     
“I know,” said Betsy, who looked both guilty and proud of herself.

     
“So now those kids don’t like you?” asked Kristy.

     
“I don’t think so.”

     
Hmm. Kristy decided to keep her eye on Hilary and Cici and Justin and Joey.

     
The line was moving fast. Soon Kristy and Betsy and Betsy’s classmates had bought their tickets and were entering the theater.

     
“Can we get popcorn?” asked Betsy.

     
“Sure,” replied Kristy, “but we better find seats first. Come on.”

     
Betsy chose seats in almost the exact center of the theater. Her classmates sat on the other side of the aisle, several rows behind. As soon as Betsy and Kristy had taken off their jackets and settled down, Betsy said, “Now can I get popcorn? And can I go by myself, please? I know just where to go. I promise I’ll go straight to the refreshment stand and come straight back.”

     
“Okay, if you promise,” said Kristy, who was thinking, This is great! This is perfect! This is better than perfect, joke-wise. But all she said

was, “Here’s some more money. Why don’t you get a large box of popcorn?”

     
“Okay!” cried Betsy. “Goody.”

     
“Now, hurry,” Kristy added as Betsy edged down the row. “The movie is going to start in about five minutes.”

     
Betsy rushed away. Kristy watched her. As soon as Betsy was out of sight, Kristy stood up, grabbed the jackets, hurried to the aisle, and moved six rows back. The theater was filling up fast, but she found two empty seats on the aisle. Then she leaned back and tried to look nonchalant.

     
Right across the aisle were Hilary, Cici, Justin, and Joey. They were giggling and fooling around. The boys were tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in their mouths.

     
Smirking to herself, Kristy watched the aisle for Betsy. When the lights began to dim and there was no sign of Betsy, she felt slightly nervous. She remembered how Betsy had hidden from Mallory.

     
And then, suddenly, there was Betsy. The theater was almost dark and the curtain was rising in front of the movie screen. But the aisle was lit with tiny lights, so Kristy was able to watch Betsy as she marched past her, clutching the popcorn. Betsy slowed down as she approached the middle of the theater. Kristy

knew she was searching for her own empty seat. But there were no empty seats now — except for the one next to Kristy. The theater was full.

     
Betsy paused. She looked around. She walked to the front of the theater. She walked back. “Kristy?” she whispered loudly.

     
Across the aisle from Kristy, Justin nudged Joey and pointed at Betsy. “Look!” he said. “It’s Betsy the brat!”

     
Joey snorted rudely.

     
“Kristy!” Betsy whispered again. “K~isty, where are you?”

     
Kristy kept her mouth shut. She knew Betsy was safe as long as she was within her view.

     
“KRISTY?”

     
“SHHH!” said several people.

     
Hilary and Cici giggled.

     
“SHHH!” said someone else.

“KRISTY?”

     
Okay. Enough was enough. “Over here, Bets,” Kristy whispered loudly. She waved to Betsy.

     
Betsy finally saw Kristy. She marched over to her and plopped down in the empty seat. Her classmates were hooting and giggling. “Kri sty, Kristy, help me!” Justiri was saying in a high voice.

     
“You switched seats!” Betsy said accusingly to Kristy.

     
“Gotcha!” Kristy replied.

     
Betsy sulked. But not for long. The movie had started and the popcorn was good. It’s difficult to stay mad under those conditions.

     
Kristy decided to put the next part of her plan into action. She wasn’t going to let up on Betsy. Not while things were going so well. And not after all the jokes Betsy had played on the members of the Baby-sitters Club. And especially not after promising Kristy she wouldn’t play any more jokes.

     
“Why don’t you let me hold the popcorn for awhile?” Kristy asked Betsy. “I’ll keep it right here between us. Your hand must be getting tired.”

     
“Yeah. Thanks,” said Betsy gratefully.

     
Kristy held the box with her left hand. Her right hand was busily working its way into her pocket. It closed over something that Sam had lent her. Kristy pulled it out and slipped it onto her left thumb. Then carefully, quietly, she worked her thumb through the flap on the bottom of the popcorn box.

     
Betsy never noticed a thing.

     
The movie continued. The popcorn was disappearing fast, although Kristy had stopped

eating it. Betsy was the only one whose hand was going back and forth from her mouth to the box.

     
On the screen, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the wonderful car, took to the air for the first time. As it flew, the kids in the theater cheered.