Clouded Innocence (2 page)

Chapter 2

Dream

While lying on my bed, moonlight beamed in from my window blanketing the room in a sliver light, I heard the door softly creak open. I was sure it was one of the maids who must have forgotten something, so I remained perfectly still pretending to be asleep.
 

“Francesca?”
 

Startled, I sat up. Butterflies began an assault on my stomach as I recognized the velvety voice that said my name. I stared at Conner as he shut the door carefully behind him. Frozen in a delightful panic, I could not move and I could not breathe. The only thing I could do was watch him.

“Francesca, I have not been able to stop thinking about you.” His voice dripping with something I did not recognize yet I remained fixed to the bed. God, he was so handsome. The way the moonlight danced across his features. His eyes seemed to almost to reflect the light giving them a soft glow. He wore a white night shirt tucked into black pants that hugged his body so perfectly that my heart sped, rapidly pounding against my chest. All I knew was that I wanted him here. I wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed to mine. To be able to run my fingers through his hair. These feelings were a first for me. I could not recall ever feeling this sort of pull towards another person before in my life.

“I know you have been thinking of me too, Francesca. It is obvious you desire me just as strongly as I desire you.” Oh! Was he saying what I thought he was saying? My gaze was locked on his while he strolled confidently across my room, slowly closing the distance between us.
 

“You do want me, do you not Francesca?” Just like earlier, my mind emptied itself and words would not come to me. He sat down on my bed and raised his hand cupping my cheek. Once his skin touched mine, a little bit of the spell I was under broke briefly before slamming back down on me even stronger than before. In that small window, all I could do was nod in agreement. I leaned into him craving his touch. He moved closer placing his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel the warmth of his breath on me, sending chills all over my skin.
 

“Say it, Francesca. I need to hear you say it. Say you want me. Say you desire me.” His words brushed across my skin. Moving closer to my mouth, his lips were only an inch away from mine.
 

“Tell me. Do. You. Want. Me?” He asked almost desperately.
 

I closed my eyes, forcing my mouth to work. “Yes!” I exhaled a little below a whisper.
 

A knowing smirk crossed his lips as he leaned toward me. I knew in seconds I would know what Conner's lips felt like against mine. What his mouth tasted like.

Without warning, I woke up in my warm, empty, bed. Sunlight beat against my face, from the window to the left next to the bed. Drapes were open allowing the sun to enter filling the room. My breath was coming fast and ragged. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to regain my feel on reality. I looked around, everything as it was when I came to bed last night. My vanity sat against the wall at the foot of the bed. Brush, mirror, hair combs all exactly where I set them. The oak chest-of-drawers was to the left of the door. All five drawers closed. I was completely alone. It had all been a dream. Of course it had.

Breakfast came soon after Mary, our maid, helped me dress. She picked out a lovely chestnut colored dress, knowing I would be outside most of the day and color would hide the dirt from walking around. Our land was not typically dusty, just in certain areas, where the horses continually made their rounds. We did seem to be in a small drought, making it slightly worse. 

The dress fit firmly against my body, hugging my curves and showing off my tiny waist. It had small ruffles around my breasts so as to not show things that ought not to be shown. The brown skirt hung off my hips resting a few inches from the ground. She also picked out comfortable black shoes that I typically wore when I knew I would be doing some walking.
 

Mary picked up my long dark locks and pinned them on top of my head so they cascaded lightly down my neck, so the heat would not overwhelm me.

I walked in to the dining room again, and again I was the first one to arrive. The room seemed exactly like it did the night before with the exception of all the candles. The candle light had been replaced by natural sunlight entering through the large window that faced the east. The blue drapes were open, whereas last night they had been closed, giving access to the bright morning sun. 

The table was again set for five and I took my regular spot while waiting for the others.

Minutes passed when Steven entered the room. My heart skipped a beat knowing that Conner would be right behind him, except he was not. Steven entered alone and my heart sank slightly in disappointment. After my dream, I was both worried and excited about seeing Conner, but my desire to see him outweighed any lingering worry I felt.

“Good morning, Francesca. How are you today?”
 

Oh boy
! 
That was the most words Steven had ever said to me. 

“I am well Steven. How are you?” I replied back. I could not help but be suspicious.
 

“I am wonderful. Listen, I have a favor to ask.” Of course he did.
 

“Well Steven, I still have not completed the favor your mother and my father have requested of me. Can it wait until I have more time available?” That would show him.
 

“Actually it is on the same subject,” he said as he sat in the same spot he had the previous night.

“Oh really?” I asked.

“Yes! I know our parents wanted you to show both Conner and I around the grounds, but I have some...” He paused briefly grasping for the correct word, “business to attend to in town. I would ask Conner to come along but I am sure he would find it dull. Do you mind if I miss the tour today and leave Conner in your care? You could still give him the tour. I would hate to ruin the plans you have already made.”
 

Plans? I actually had not given much thought to what I was going to show them. Really, it is a house on several acres of land. There was nothing truly special to separate it from any other house in the area. Except for one thing, but I doubt that I was going to put that on the tour. It was my secret.

“Not a problem, Steven. I understand how important
business
is,” I spoke, emphasizing on the word business. “As long as Mr. Edwards does not mind, of course?” 

The whole day with Conner!
Oh yes!
No, I should not be thinking like that. I am sure he only saw me as a shy girl who could not even find words to speak to him. He definitely did not see me the way he had in my dreams. Just thinking of that dream made my cheeks flush. I hope Steven did not notice.

“Of course. I am sure he will not be difficult,” Steven stated.
 

As if knowing the conversation was over, Conner came walking in to take his seat next to me.
  

“Good morning Miss de Bella. Steven.” I let out a silent breath taking in his appearance. Even in the morning he was attractive. He smelled incredible, like sweet juniper after the rain. It made my mouth water. I quickly shoved away the thought before I was caught admiring him once more.

“I saw your parents on my way down. They will not be attending breakfast this morning. Apparently, they have some rather important business to conclude in town.” 

Business in town was becoming a popular occurrence that morning. I wondered quietly if anyone really had “business” or if it was just a phrase that was being used because no one wanted to truly explain their intent.

“They said we should begin without them and that they would not return until sometime before dinner.” His voice was so mellifluous I could listen to him talk all day, but Steven's voice filled the room as he told Conner of his plans. “Speaking of business in town, Conner, I have some to manage myself. Francesca has graciously agreed to keep you company and still give you a tour of the ground, if you like? If not, you may accompany me to town but I am sure you will find my business a bit of a bore.” 

I hated that Steven gave him an option to not spending the day with me. What if Conner chose the alternative? The idea crushed me but was quickly dismissed when Conner spoke. “No, I will be content here, that is, as long as it is convenient for you, Miss de Bella?”

Conner's blue eyes were transfixed on me. My stomach was doing flips. His stare made me forget that Steven was in the room. Conner was dressed in a black business suit similar to the one he wore yesterday.
Oh goodness
, the man knew how to wear a suit. I felt the urge to fan myself but quickly decided against it. 

“No Mr. Edwards... I mean of course... I mean yes it would be most convenient,” I stammered.

Why was I not able to talk to him? The man flustered me so much. An amused look crossed his face making my cheeks blush. I just could not understand how this one person could completely dazzle me into humiliation. 

“Well then, it is settled,” Steven announced as we began breakfast of warm porridge and eggs. “But perhaps we should keep this to ourselves,” he spoke, looking up from his food then continued. “I do not know how my mother would feel about me abandoning our plans for the day.”
 

He was accurate in his assumption. I also did not know how my father would feel about me spending the day alone with a man he barely knew. Perhaps he would not mind. After all, he did invite this stranger into our home, though I would rather not find out.
 

“Of course, Steven,” I said. Conner raised his eyebrow at me causing my stomach to do flips again.

Chapter
3

The Tour

Steven left immediately after breakfast wishing Conner and I a pleasant day.
 

“Well Miss de Bella, what shall you show me first?” Conner said turning towards me with the most sensual crooked smirk crossing his face. We were still sitting at the dining table. I was becoming extremely aware of how close we were. Perhaps it just seemed close, what with the eight empty chairs surrounding us.
 

“Please Mr. Edwards, call me Francesca.”

His eyes gleamed wickedly. I knew it was not appropriate for him to call me by my given name, but he was going to be staying with us for several months. I am sure society would overlook the lack of propriety. “Only if you call me Conner.”

I grinned nervously, but tried to push past it by answering his original question. “Honestly Conner,” a small thrill went through me at saying his given name, “I really have not given it much thought.” His smirk turned into a full on grin and I felt my face redden with embarrassment.
 

“Well then, why not show me the house first and then we can continue the tour outside.”
 

“Of course,” I responded, trying to maintain what little confidence I still had.

* * *

I was enjoying being close to Conner. I was extra careful, knowing the way he affected me, not to stumble. The first level was done quickly. It was composed of the dining room, kitchen, two sitting areas, a library and my father's study. As we ascended up the stairs, Conner, who had been quiet thus far, finally spoke.
 

“So how long has your father been married to Steven's mother, if you do not mind my asking?”
 

“Not long,” I sighed. “This will be their first summer together.”
 

“It must be strange for you.”
 

I turned facing him, pausing in my assent up the stairs. “What must?”

Conner stopped on the step next to me, his brow furrowed with curiosity, “Seeing your father with another woman that is not your mother.” 

It was strange. When my father first told me he was remarrying, I had run to my secret place in the woods and did not come home until well after dark. It was still taking some getting used to. I had felt my father was betraying the memory of my mother by remarrying. Not wanting to over share my feelings, I gave Conner the answer I was sure he expected to hear.

“No, not really,” I said, taking the next step up the stairs hoping he would change the topic of conversation. 

“Francesca,” Conner grabbed my arm, stopping me. “You do not have to hide it from me. I understand better than anyone,” he sighed. “When my mother died, my father remarried almost immediately. He did not even give himself time to grieve for her and I had hated him for it. Part of me...still does.”
 

I could not believe he was sharing such personal feelings about his life. He barely knew me. I thought to myself, if he could open up and share with me, why could I not return the gesture?
 

“Do you have any misgivings to me showing you something outside? It is special to me. After all, all that is up here are bedrooms anyways,” I asked.
 

“Of course,” he replied.
 

We turned and began to walk back down the stairs.
 

Once to the front door, Conner opened it, gesturing with his hands for me to exit first, like any southern gentleman would. I walked through the doorway and waited for him to emerge.

Over the threshold, he shut the door securely behind us. He stepped in front of me, offering his arm with a very open smile. I took it without hesitation. Maybe I was finally adjusting to the affect he had on me. 

“Thank you,” I said as a flash of heat spread across my face. Well maybe adjusted was not the best word.
 

“You are most welcome Francesca.” His fierce blue gaze bore through me.
  ”What was it you cared to show me?”

A few moments later we crossed the grounds, and we came to the woods. 

“It is just through here,” I said, pointing through the trees.
 

The ground was littered with acorns, pine needles, and broken twigs. They crunched under my feet as I released Conner's arm to make my way through the trees.
 

“Are you certain of this Francesca?” he asked hesitantly.

“What is the matter, Conner? Are you afraid of a little dirt?” I teased, making my way farther into the woods. 

“Absolutely not,” A twinge of excitement entered his voice as he followed me.

I gave a small laugh “It is not very far.”

Within five minutes, I had made my way to the clearing. I stepped through the final trees surrounding the area and gasped. Seeing it still took my breath away.
 

In the middle of the clearing, there was a large pond that was being fed from a stream running down the hillside directly behind it. Along the stream, there were gray rocks of all variety of sizes. The water cascaded down them, making a slight waterfall effect. The same rocks surrounded the pond and lined the bottom making the water almost crystal clear. The trees encircled the area casting a shadow making the summer heat bearable.
 

The grass was lush and green, coming up to my knees. Small purple flowers poked through the blades.
 

There was an army of butterflies swarming the area. They were all of different varieties, making it a sea of colors. Looking up, you could see the soft, fluffy clouds make their way through the endless blue sky. Birds chirped and bugs buzzed making the sounds of nature, creating an atmosphere of calm and serenity.

I walked over to a big rock resting on the bank. Settling on top of it, I immediately removed my shoes just as Conner made his way through to the clearing. 

“Oh!” He could not hide the shock from his voice. I turned putting my back to him, placing my feet into the icy water before I spoke.
 

“I know. It is lovely, isn't it?”
 

“Yes, it is,” he responded taking steps closer to me closing the distance between us.

I sighed. He had opened up to me and I should return the favor. Not out of obligation but because I wanted to. No one around me truly understood what it felt like to be in my situation. But Conner had been through something similar. If anyone understood what I was going through, I was sure it would be him. “No one else knows this place’s existence, not even my father.” I paused, turning to face him as he settled on the rock next to me. His eyes locked onto my face as he realized what I was telling him. He was the only one. I looked down at the water lapsing over my feet and took a deep breath. “After my mother died, I used to come out to the woods and wander around for hours, utterly consumed in my grief. It was a few weeks before I stumbled on this place. It became my sanctuary.” I risked a quick glance towards Conner, his gaze still rested on me. I had not needed to look to know he was watching me intently. His eyes felt heavy on me. “Whenever I want to think about my mother or to just be alone in my thoughts, I come here.” I paused to consider my words before I carried on. Conner remained completely silent waiting for me to elaborate.

“When my father told me he was marrying Lilly, I was furious. Which I see now was selfish of me. He still deserves to find some happiness. But at the time,” I paused, swallowing back the emotion building in my throat, “I could not face it. So I would come here.”

I remembered all the anger and sadness I felt all those months ago. It rushed back like it had only happened yesterday. The memory caused my eyes to glisten with tears threatening to fall. I widened my eyes trying to hold them back but one escaped. Even though time had passed, I still felt the open wounds that had not closed completely from the hurt I felt and I was not sure if they would ever truly heal. Perhaps I would carry them the rest of my life.

Conner rose to his feet standing next to me. Raising his hand, his warm palm settled against my cheek, cupping it. The contact sent warm flutters all over my body. He turned my head forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes were full of compassion as he wiped away my tear.
 

In a gentle voice, he spoke. “At the time, Francesca, you were allowed to be selfish. You must have felt like your father was trying to replace your mother.” His gaze kept my eyes on him. I nodded. He was right. It was exactly how I felt. Even now I still felt the burn of betrayal. “That is completely understandable. But to realize now that your father deserves some happiness is a sign that you have matured since then. Even though...” he paused, wiping away another of my tears that I did not even know had slipped out. “Even though it still hurts,” he whispered.

Those last words were my undoing. The tears I had been trying so hard to hold back cascaded down my face. I closed my eyes, embarrassed by the amount of emotion I was displaying to this man I had known for little more than a day, but he paid no mind. He wrapped his arms around me, cradling my head to his chest, allowing me to breathe in his sweet, masculine scent. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. He held me close through my silent sobs until my tears ceased. I pulled away from him forcing his hands to drop from around me when I realized how close we truly were. 

“I am sorry about that,” I tried to pass it off jokingly while looking anywhere but at Conner. He raised his hand allowing his fingers to grasp my chin causing me to look at him.
 

“Do not be. It is always good to have someone to share what is on your mind Francesca,” he said while he wiped the remaining tears away with the pad of his thumb. It was such an intimate gesture that my cheeks began to blush. I hoped that he would attribute it to my crying. I was surprisingly at ease after sharing my memories and feelings with Conner. I was glad I had opened up to him. It was nice to finally have someone to talk to after keeping everything locked away deep inside for all this time. It felt like a small weight had been lifted from me.

“It is beautiful here,” he stated while examining our surroundings. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” His voice softened while his gaze drifted back to me. My brown eyes met his.

“Thank you for listening.”
 

“It was my pleasure, Francesca.” He rested back down on the rock next to me and we sat there in silence just taking in the beautiful sight of nature around us.