Clouded Innocence (5 page)

He cocked his head to the side, “So we actually have not finished the race then?”
 

“Nope, sorry,” I paused giving him my sweetest, innocent smile.
 

“Fine,” he said standing up abruptly. He walked to me and grabbed my arms pulling me to him. “We are going to finish it now. The tree line is a few yards away it should be no problem for us to run.”
 

Run? I was not a good runner. He certainly had me at a disadvantage, but I was not going to back out.
 

“Fine! Count us off Conner.” I was trying to show some sign of being frustrated. I certainly did not want him to think I actually wanted this, which of course I did. I grabbed my dress, lifting up so it would not get in my way, not caring about propriety before we took off.
 

I pushed myself as hard as I could. I could feel the ache in my muscles and the burn in my chest, but it was no use. Conner beat me by a good bit. When I made it to the tree line Conner had his ankles crossed, his back resting against a tree, with an accomplished smirk on his face.
 

“Yes, I know. I owe you a kiss,” I huffed. “Can you give me a moment to catch my breath?”
 

“Not a problem, Francesca. Take all the time you need.” His smile never faltered.

I pressed my back against a tree next to Conner. I took deep, long breaths but I could not get my breathing normalized. I knew it was because I was nervous. I was about to have my first kiss and it was with this handsome man. Of course I was nervous. Who would not be? Conner seemed to notice that my breathing was still off as a few moments passed.

“Are you all right?” he asked. I nodded inhaling a large gasp of air, but it did little good. He sighed, “You have never done this before, have you?”
 

I looked up at him through my lashes releasing a deep breath, not answering his question. He sighed again shaking his head. “Come on,” he said reaching out for me. My fingers were shaking as I placed my hand in his. Was this it? “Let's go have our picnic.” He answered my question and my heart sank with disappointment. I was nervous, but I still wanted this.

“What about the wager?” I asked, hoping to hide the hint of desperation.

Conner took a deep breath, “Francesca, I am not going to let you give away your first kiss in a bet. A first kiss should be special.” Once we made it back to the blanket, he leaned down whispering in my ear. “When I do kiss you, it is going to mean something.” My head shot up, staring directly at him but his gaze was no longer on me. I waited for him to elaborate, but he did not. So I reluctantly let it go.
 

We had our picnic. The food was delicious. Mary had done a fine job of preparing it. We made small talk about the weather and school. It was a very pleasant day.
 

“Well,” Conner stated, “since you cheated, and received your prize anyway, I think it is only fair that I get to ask you five questions.”
Oh no.
I did not like where this was heading. 

“Um... I actually only asked you four questions. The 'Really?' did not count.”
 

“Fine Francesca, I will only ask you four questions then.” He smiled hugely at me. That was not what I had meant.
 

“Can’t you just kiss me instead?” My face instantly reddened. I could not believe I had just said that out loud.

Conner chuckled shaking his head, not bothering to answer my question. “Since you have not given me an answer yet and you have to answer the questions in complete honesty. Have you ever been kissed?” If it was possible, my face blushed more before I looked away. 

“You already know the answer to that one Conner,” I answered.
 

“I know. But I want to hear you say it.” His lips were pulled into a half grin which only made his face more handsome.

I sighed, “No Conner, I have never been kissed.” His smile grew wider seeming satisfied with my response. “What is your next question?” 

He shook his head then cocked it to the side giving me my favorite crooked grin.
 “That is it for now. I think I will save the other three for later.” My mouth dropped open as I gaped at him. I could not believe his audacity. The suspense was going to drive me mad. He was going to make me constantly try to anticipate when the next question would arise. 

I threw myself back on the blanket with a groan. Closing my eyes, I tried to escape my annoyance with Conner for a moment.

I must have fallen asleep. Because when I opened my eyes, the sun was just beginning to set. 

“Oh my,” I said, as I sat up to take it all in.
 

The sky was painted with a variety of beautiful colors. The clouds reflected them and created a breathtaking view of the horizon. The sky was a canvas for which god was the artist. No sunsets ever completely the same. I looked over at Conner. He was sitting with one arm wrapped around his knee. I turned back to stare at the sky.

“It is a beautiful sight, don't you agree?” I looked back at him.

“Yes, it certainly is.” His eyes focused on me.
 

His comment made me blush. It felt like he was not talking entirely about the sunset.
 

“Conner, I...” I began.

He sighed cutting me off, “Come along Francesca. It must be close to dinner time. We do not want to be late.”

In agreement with him, we packed up the remains of our picnic, mounted the horses and began the journey back to the house. When we got there, I noticed Steven's horse was still not in the stable. We took our time before heading into the house. Conner deposited me safely at my bedroom door to get ready for dinner before returning to his room to do the same.
 

When I arrived at dinner, I seemed to be the last one there. I took my regular seat next to Conner as supper began. I was so exhausted from my day in the sun that I was not paying attention to the dinner conversation. I looked blankly at Lilly as she asked me a question I did not quite comprehend.
 

“Beg your pardon?” I stammered.
 

“I asked if you had a dress for the Summer Ball. The one the Carpenter's throw every year.”
 

“Oh! No, Lilly, I do not. Might I just wear the one from last year?”
 

My father spoke up, “Absolutely not! You can go into to town tomorrow with your stepmother and both of you can buy new ones. I will not have people think that I cannot afford to buy my daughter a new gown.”
 

I exhaled deeply. I knew my father would never allow people to think we had money problems, which they would if I was caught in the same dress that I had worn to a previous ball. “When is the ball?” I asked.
 

“In three days,” Lilly replied.
 

“Steven!” My father bellowed and we all jolted in response “Do you mind escorting Francesca to the ball?”
 

Oh no, this was not what I wanted. The very idea of being next to Steven all night made my stomach churn.
 

“Actually, sir, I have already asked to escort one of the other ladies in town.”
Oh thank goodness
. I wondered if that explained all his constant business in town. Was Steven attempting to court someone? Perhaps she was a girl he knew when he lived in town, before Lilly married my father and moved in here. “I am sure Conner would not mind though.” Steven finished his eyes bouncing back and forth between Conner and myself. I could not help but feel suspicious of Steven’s suggestion, but let the delight from the prospect of Conner escorting me overwhelm that suspicion.  

“Well Conner?” My father asked.
 

Conner looked at my father then to me. “It would be my pleasure.” His hypnotic eyes made me feel as if words were only meant for me.
 

We continue to stare at each other until Steven cleared his throat, bringing us back to reality.
Not good.
Thankfully, my father was going on about something with Lilly, too absorbed in conversation to notice.

I excused myself early, desperately in need of some much deserved sleep. Even after my long nap, I was even more tired than normal. I guess the sun really does drain you.

As I climbed up the steps towards my room, I was intercepted by Steven. “May I have a word?”
 

Confused, I did not know what Steven could possibly need to talk over with me. I hoped it was not yet another favor. “Of course Steven, what is on your mind?” I continued towards my room.
 

“Francesca, let me be honest with you. Conner is a good man and I am glad to call him a friend, but you need to be careful.” I paused in my ascent, turning to stare at him.
 I was not sure where his statement was coming from.

“Excuse me?”
 

He exhaled a deep breath. “Look, you know your father better than anyone. Do you honestly think he would be happy about you marrying a man without something more to offer than himself?” He was right, of course, although I had never given it much thought. My father would want me to marry someone who was financially secure. The idea of marrying anyone had never really occurred to me. No one had ever grabbed my attention.
No one before Conner,
and the idea of marrying him did get my heart pumping faster. “I do not want to see either of you get hurt.” 

I nodded not having anything to say then made my way to my room, leaving Steven standing alone on the stairs. I understood his concerns, but I thought they were misplaced. No one was talking about marriage, were they?
 

Chapter 7

Lilly vs. Conner

After breakfast, Lilly and I huddled into the coach as the driver made his way into town. Buying dresses was not really something that I truly enjoyed. Lilly did though, in fact she thrived on it. We had done this very same thing shortly before the wedding. She had hoped we would bond, like most women, over the newest fashions. I had been utterly miserable being dragged from shop to shop and here we were at it again. Before we had only been looking for my dress. I could not imagine what this trip would be like if both of us needed to find dresses.
 

The street was lined with shops and booths on both sides. They were old and dusty. The clothing shops were near the end of the rows. People bustled in and out of the shops with arms full of purchases buying things they needed before moving on to another shop.

Lilly made small conversation with me as we made our way from store to store. She had me try on countless gowns until we finally found the one that she stated was just perfect for me. 
Oh thank goodness,
 I thought to myself doing my best not to roll my eyes in relief. Lilly was carrying on with the salesman when I caught sight of my reflection. 

At first I thought some other girl was staring at me. I was in a white gown with an open neckline, trimmed with white lace and beaded pearls. The ruffled sleeves were cut short, covering only my shoulders. The skirt had rows of ruffles shirred up at intervals and trimmed in white lace. My arms were covered in long white gloves. I stared at myself, memorized, when Lilly came up behind me putting her hands gentle on my shoulders.
 
Oh, I looked so grown up in the dress. 

“I know.” Lilly said as if answering my thoughts. “You look lovely, Francesca. You will definitely hold your own next to that gorgeous boy.”
 

I chuckled, hearing Lilly refer to Conner as gorgeous. He was, but to know she thought so as well was amusing.

Lilly found her dress in the same store. I think she realized I was not enjoying myself nearly as much as she was. After the salesman boxed up our purchases, we headed back to the coach and returned home. The driver parked in front of the house. Once he opened the door for us, he grabbed our packages and made his way into the house.

I noticed Conner sitting in one of the rocking chairs starring off into the distance when I stepped up on to the porch. I took a few tentative steps toward him. He seemed unaware of my presence. I paused. Turning, I saw Lilly staring at us. She gave me a small encouraging smile before heading into the house.
 There was something in her expression but I choose to ignore it. I was eager to put the day of shopping from my mind.

“Conner?” I said. It seemed to jolt him back to the here and now.
 

“Hey, busy day?” He asked, gesturing to the seat next to his.
 

I sat down, sighing, “You have no idea.”
 

“That awful, huh?” He chuckled lightly. I rolled my eyes in response which just made him laugh louder.
 “You want to go somewhere?” I nodded my head. Anywhere with Conner would be fine with me.

Grabbing my hand, I ignored the slight tingle where my skin touched his as Conner pulled me to my feet then led me down to the woods. I became instantly aware that he was leading me towards my secret place.
 

Within minutes we made our way through the clearing. Standing in the middle of the high grass, away from the pond, I looked up at the sky. The blue heavens were full of fluffy, white cotton. I spun around absorbing as much of the view as I could. I continued around and around, enjoying the sight, when suddenly I lost my balance and fell. My head still spun from the dizziness. Conner gave a light chuckle while he made his way towards me.
 

“That is what happens when you spin around in circles.” He squatted next to me. I continued lying on my back, in the position I fell trying to catch my breath. His fingers brushed my hair away from my face and I did my best not to lean into his hand. “You are not a ballerina,” he spoke softly.
 

“I could have been,” I giggled.
 

He smirked. “And what a marvelous ballerina you would have made,” I smiled at his sweetness. Then he continued, “For whenever you spun, you would fall on your face.”
 

Laughing at his own comment, I shoved Conner in the shoulder as I sat up. “It just takes some practice Conner.”
 I said snidely.

I walked a few feet away from him then turned towards his direction. He stood crossing his arms over his chest, with an amused expression glued to his face. I began to spin again. I made it around six times before I lost my balance and started to stumble. That was when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and instead of falling to the ground I fell against Conner's chest.
 
How the heck did ballerinas do that and not get dizzy?

“Are you alright?” Conner laughed. He was not even trying to hold in his amusement.
 

“I am fine,” I spat, pulling myself from his arms causing myself to almost stumbling again. Conner's arms found their way around my waist saving me, yet again. “Francesca, if you keep falling, you are going to ruin your dress,” he mumbled against my ear, holding my back firmly against his chest. “Just let me hold you until you get your balance back. As amusing as it is, I do not want to see you fall and get hurt.”

I nodded in agreement then regretted it instantly when my head began to spin again. I groaned raising my hand to my forehead. Noticing my reaction, Conner spoke, “Alright, how about we try sitting down?” Without waiting for an answer, Conner bent down lifting me into his arms. I gasped in surprise. Then he set me down in the grass facing the pond. He sat himself behind me so I could lean against him for support. His hands carelessly rested on my hips. I knew if anyone were to see us like this, we would be in a large amount of trouble. Being alone with him was not entirely proper either but the position we were in was most certainly compromising.

He snickered softly to himself. “What?” I asked. My eyes were closed enjoying the warmth of being in Conner's arms.

He shook his head. “Nothing, it's just...” He paused while I readjusted to see his face. “Is it bad that I hope you stay dizzy for a while?” My brows knitted. I tried to sit up, but Conner's grasp on me held. I was not sure I could break his hold even if I wanted to. He was not using strength, but I did not want to move either. “No. I meant...” He exhaled a loud breath. “I am just enjoying holding you like this. And once you are no longer dizzy, then there is no longer a good reason for me to hold you anymore.” 

A small smile broke across my lips. I looked up into Conner's face. His gaze was turned away from me. There was a light rosiness to his cheek. If I had not known better, I would have thought he was embarrassed.
 

“I think... I spun around too much,” I explained.
 

He snuffed, “Well, yes. I think you did too.”

He did not understand what I was trying to say, so I elaborated. “I think... I am going to be dizzy, for quite a while.” A warm breeze blew, kissing my face.

His blue eyes shot to my face scanning it for something. I was not sure what. “Really?” He asked astonished. My eyes locked with his, giving him a simple nod. He returned it with a perfect crooked grin, before tightening his arms around me. I closed my eyes, settling against his chest.
 

We spent the rest of the day like that, sitting by the water absorbed in nature and one another's company.

* * *

The next day, I only saw Conner for a few moments at breakfast. Seeing him brought back the memories of the previous day, of me wrapped in his warm embrace, the warmth of his body, the strength of his arms. His blue eyes locked on me as I entered the dining room. He smiled brilliantly like he was remembering the same things too. He and Steven were going to be making their way into town. My heart sank at the news. I told myself it was a good thing. We had spent two days together and I did not want my father to become suspicious. It was never a good thing for your daughter to be sneaking off with a boy, even if you had invited him into your house.

I decided to spend my day catching up on some reading. All day I sat on the porch in hopes of trying to catch a glimpse of Conner, but the boys never showed. By dinner they had still not made it home. I went to bed with only a small daily dose of Conner Edwards.