Clouded Innocence (7 page)

He placed his hand on my back, but did not pull me as close as Conner had. We danced around the room not speaking a word. It felt very awkward so I looked around as we moved. My vision caught sight of my father. He seemed to have spotted me as well. He pointed me out to Lilly as Nicholas turned us, interrupting my view.
 

The dance seemed to stretch into eternity. Once it ended, Nicholas thanked me for the dance and then released me.
 

Conner was by my side before I even had a chance to turn.
 

“Dance with me,” he said authoritatively and I did. He was my only dance partner for the rest of the night.

Chapter
9

The Talk

The following morning, I opened my bedroom door and a piece of paper with my name on it, drifted slowly to the floor at my feet. I grabbed it and quickly shut my door again, almost like I was afraid anyone would see it. Quickly, I made my way to my bed before opening.

Francesca,

Meet me at our spot. I will be waiting for you.

Conner

My heart began to race. At the ball, Conner and I had danced without an awkward moment between us. We had laughed and joked like nothing had changed. I had not really thought much about how things might be different between us after last night’s kiss. I prayed that was not why he wanted to meet me.
 

I made my way down to breakfast, but both Conner and Steven chairs were left vacant. Lilly told me they had made their way into town again and she did not expect them until late. I quickly ate my breakfast, receiving quizzical glance from both my father and Lilly as I practically inhaled my food, before excusing myself. I wanted as much time with Conner as possible and I hoped he wanted the same which was why Lilly believed he would not return until later. Or maybe he wanted to break my heart early so he would have enough time to catch up with Steven. Even thinking it, I found that scenario a little hard to swallow. Conner just did not seem like that type of person.

I made my way through the woods in record time letting my feet carry me by memory. My mind buzzed with thoughts and scenarios each worse than the last. Conner was sitting on a boulder, the same one he had used the first time I had brought him here. He had the sun beating against his face.
Oh my,
how handsome he was. His blond hair seemed to absorb the sunlight, glittering strands of golden light, it shined almost as brightly. I stepped on some twigs, causing a slight crunching noise, which alerted Conner to my presence.

Conner turned towards me.
 

“Hello,” he said with no hint of a smile. I looked down at the ground, kicking a small rock with the toe of my shoe before responding,
 

“Hello,” I looked up at him through my lashes.
 

His brow creased in confusion, “Are you alright, Francesca? Is there something wrong?”
 

“It depends,” I snidely said.
 

He let out a small chuckle, “All right, on what?”
 

I took a deep, cleansing breath before I spoke. “Did you ask me out here to tell me what a mistake it was kissing me?”

I could not look at him. I was so worried that my words were true. Maybe he did regret it. Maybe I was bad at it. Silence passed before he spoke.

“Francesca...”
 

I still would not look at him. He stood and closed the distance between us. Placing his hands on the side of my face he forced my eyes on him.
 

“I do not regret kissing you. Do not even think that for a moment,” he said with understanding. “Do you regret it?” He dropped his hands to my shoulder like he suddenly realized my regret was a possibility. I think I saw a flash of fear take over his face but was gone too quickly for me to be sure.
 

“No,” I said shaking my head. “That was an unbelievable first kiss. I cannot imagine they get any better.” He gave me a crooked smile.
 

“Good. Now to why I asked you down here,” he walked me over to the water. “Do you know how to skip rocks?” I shook my head. “Good then it is something I can show you,” he said picking up some small rocks from the ground.
 

He went over what type of rocks I needed, the round, flat, smooth type. Then he stood behind me to show me the correct way to turn my body in order to get the rock to hop.
 

His guidance was more distracting than helpful. His close proximity made my heart race. I looked up at him while he was giving directions and all I could think about was how wonderful his warm lips would feel pressed to mine again.
 

Jolted back to the here and now, Conner let me go so I could toss the rock. I did and it sunk. I tried a few more times but each time the rock sunk.
 

“Have a seat and watch me,” he said confidently.

Staring at Conner openly was not something I would object to. I sat on a big rock close to the water and watched Conner pick up a few rocks before he threw the first one. It skipped three times before sinking. 
Was there anything he could not do well?

“There. See?” I nodded and watch him throw the next two.
 

Both made a few skips before sinking. Agitated that he made it look so easy when it obviously was not, I stuck my hand in the water and splashed him. Shock spread across his face as the water hit him. “Did you just splash me?” He demanded, wiping water off his face.
 

“Nope,” I responded doing my best not to smile and look as innocent as possible.

“Yes, you...” I cut him off by splashing him again. The water made his white shirt cling to his body. It was almost transparent. I could see the hard ripple of his stomach through it. Oh, he had a wonderful body.

“That is it.”
 

Throwing the rocks down, he made a dash towards me. I squealed, breaking away from my distraction of his body. I leapt from the boulder before he could grab me. He barely missed me. I pushed myself running as fast as I could but like the day of our horse race, Conner was faster.
 

“NO!” I screamed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Conner was trying to press himself against me to wet my clothes with his. I wiggled trying to escape his grasp, both of us laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe.
 

In the process we tripped falling into the grass. I landed on my back with Conner on top of me. The tall grass swayed around us. We both laughed harder. He looked down at me, his pale eyes turning dark.
 

My laughing stopped at the hunger in his expression. I suddenly felt the urge to touch him. It did not matter where; I just need to have my skin touch his. I ran my hand lightly down his face. He closed his eyes to my touch, leaning his face against my palm. I shifted bringing my other hand up placing each on the side of his face. I held him between my hands before slowly drawing him to my lips.
 

The need to kiss him was more intense than the urge to touch him. It came on abruptly. My lips parted and his warm tongue slipped in brushing mine. My body shuddered in response. It felt unique and marvelous. I could feel my heart pounding hard in against my chest. With every beat it was coursing desire through my system. My body wanted more.

Conner ran his hand up the side of my body, delighting my senses. I arched my body into his as a soft moan escaped my throat but it was silenced by Conner's mouth. His hand continued up my body to cup my face. I stopped kissing him, closed my eyes and leaned into his hand absorbing the comfort it offered.

“Francesca?” He whispered stroking his fingers along the features of my face. I opened my eyes and stared straight into his perfect blue gaze, so full of want and need. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, mimicking mine.

He searched my face for some sign, but I gave him none. With his lips no longer against mine, my head cleared itself of the need to go farther than kissing. Sighing, Conner shifted his weight to roll over next to me, so he was lying flat on his back with his arm covering his eyes. 

“I am sorry, Francesca. I should not have let it go that far,” he stated.

“Don't be. I pulled you in.” 

“Yes, but I let you.” He sighed. “I hate to bring this up, but I am more experienced than you and I should know better.”

My stomach knotted itself. I hated when he reminded me of his
experience
. I did not like to remember that someone else knew Conner, in the biblical sense. In a way I had barely imagined.

“And I am a girl who has been told all her life to protect herself from boys that would do everything in their power to take advantage of me and rob me of my virtue.”
 

We could argue but there was no point. We each were going to blame ourselves for almost letting something happen. Abruptly, Conner stood up. He reached for my hands.
 

“Come on,” he said.
 

I was confused. I was not sure what he was up to. I tentatively placed my hands in his and allowed him to pull me to my feet. He walked over to the rock where he had been sitting when I first arrived. He pulled a rolled up blanket out from beside it. Walking back over to the grass, he opened it and spread it out.

“Come sit in the sun with me,” he said sitting in the middle of the blanket. 

I smiled walking towards him. He raised his hand to me, so I gently placed mine in his. Surprising me, Conner pulled me rapidly into his lap. I giggled when I landed.
 

“That is a beautiful sound,” he whispered.
 

Smiling at me, he shifted my weight so I was resting on the blanket, between his legs. One of his knees was propped up, so I rested my arm on it. He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling my back against his chest. Conner lightly kissed my hair while tightening his hold on me. I felt completely and entirely safe.
  

“Conner?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“What is it you are going to school for?” I asked turning to look at his face.

“Law.”

His response surprised me. “Law? As in lawyer?”

“Mm, hmm,” he said with a small nod.

“Why?” I was very curious.

He sighed, “Well, my father wanted me to go for a degree in business so I could eventually take over for him. It just was not for me. I like law. There is a right and a wrong. Of course it upset my father which just made my decision so much better.” He gave me a crooked smile.

“Do you do a lot of things to intentionally upset your father?” He had already told me of the girl his father had not approved of. What if that was the reason he was here with me?

“No, Francesca. I know what you are thinking. You have nothing to do with my games to upset my father. I am here with you because I can think of no other place I would rather be.” 

He leaned down, lightly pressed his lips to mine. The warmth of his mouth sent chills of excitement all over my skin. He quickly pulled back, leaving me wanting more, but after what had just happened, I did not blame him for the movement.
 

I shifted back into his arms, relaxing in the comfort of his warm embrace.

* * *

Over the next several days, Conner and I were inseparable. We saw very little of Steven, although he did continue to lie to Lilly and my father and say he was with us. I was not sure if it was for his benefit or if he was trying to pay back the favor he owed me. Either way it did not matter. I got to be alone with Conner for most of the day.
 

After the day by the pond, we decided not to let things get that intense between us again. Conner knew I was not ready. And as he put it, he was far more
experienced
than me. Although we were getting braver with our touching and kissing despite the mutual decision to keep things slow. 

We would hold hands under the dining room table, with my father sitting right there. In fact, I pulled Conner into the library one night as we walked the hallway together. We were kissing passionately, my hands tangled in his hair, and his pressed against my back, clinging to me, when my father walked in. I made some vague excuse about helping Conner find a book. My father did not even blink an eye at my lie. I was getting better at it, which I was not entirely sure was a good thing.

Conner would walk me to my room every evening and would wait until the halls were clear then kiss me good night before heading to his room. Everything felt perfect and for those couple of weeks, it was.

One evening after horseback riding and a picnic, which was becoming a regular occurrence for us, Conner and I were making our way up to the house when I noticed Lilly standing outside on the second level's wraparound porch.
 

“Francesca?” she called, “Will you join me, please?”
 I nodded my head in reply.

“What do you think that is about?” Conner asked curiously.
 

“I have not the slightest idea,” I mumbled mirroring his curiosity.
 

Before walking in, Conner kissed me softly on the cheek then headed to his room. I made my way to the door at the opposite end of the house that led to the outside porch. I found Lilly resting against the railing. The porch was white, like the house and unlike the lower, it wrapped around the entire home.
 

“Did you have a good time today, Francesca?” I looked at her inquisitively; I was not sure where she was going with this question and I did not want to assume anything. It was not often that Lilly would ask about my day. Maybe it was the fact that she saw only Conner and me. I would hate to have to make a lie for Steven, which would risk my father finding out that Conner and I had been out, alone. I nodded in answer.