Confessions of a Wild Heart (14 page)

He remembered the vast expanse of her firm body and how she felt next to him. But those thoughts didn’t push Ase out of his mind.

She caught him looking and gave a naughty grin as she reached for his hand. “Need a little distraction?”

Yes. No. Maybe.
He hadn’t meant for her to catch on. He
had
been trying to distract himself, probably looking to thump his chest like a he-man. And he felt like a tool as she turned slightly and placed the hand she’d grabbed on her chest, easing it down into her robe. He sucked in a breath at the same time as her when he realized she was naked underneath. She leaned forward and captured Jase’s mouth.

It wasn’t much different than kissing a man’s lips to kiss a woman. The lips felt similar, the kiss itself similar, but the softness of the skin under hand was much different. He
liked
the soft skin. But after the all-encompassing kiss with Ase, which left him with beard burn and the strong taste of vodka in his mouth, this kiss felt wrong.

She moved closer, moving his hand further and when he felt her, bare and wet between her legs, he had images of him and Ase sharing her, of Ase being here on the couch with them. But as soon as the image of her riding Ase popped in his mind, he got this inexplicable surge of angry jealousy and had to pull back.

Lacey started, shrinking back and searching his face as he snatched his hand back.

“Sorry,” he said. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” He covered his eyes with his arm.

“No, it’s cool,” she said, meekly. Then she cleared her throat. “I, um, misread the situation.”

“No. I’m…” He looked at her, noticing she was covering up, embarrassed, and looking a bit wounded.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Lace. I’m not in a good place tonight. I meant to just stop and talk.” He stood and placed his beer bottle on the table. “I shouldn’t have.”

Lacey chewed her lip, still looking embarrassed. “I don’t know why I even invited you back. It was dumb. I could tell something was wrong anyway.”

“Yeah. I’ve got my mind on…”
Someone else
. “Something else.”

She clearly caught the meaning behind the words, though, her embarrassment growing before she sighed. “Maybe you should go.”

Jase nodded. “You’re right. I’m, fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“You didn’t. Not really. But don’t stick around long enough for me to decide that I
am
mad at ya, okay?” She didn’t look at him, which said she was probably working herself in that direction now.

God, he was fucked. He hadn’t been this bad when he was a fucking teenager, trying to prove he wasn’t into guys. He’d fucked his way through a good number of the girls in his smaller high school graduating class before he’d found literature on bisexuality. It’d been both perplexing and liberating to realize it wasn’t unheard of to like both sexes.

But he’d not truly accepted the side of him that was attracted to men. He’d only ever truly enjoyed and let go the one time with Ase and afterwards when he’d fucked around in gay bars in San Antonio. Now that he was back home, it felt like he was regressing, and fuck that.

After bumbling out the door and into his truck, he cussed himself for every kind of asshole. He was batting a thousand today.

He’d like to say it was because he was nervous over his mom coming home, but he had to be honest about Ase having knocked him for a loop. Though, who wouldn’t be?

A buzzing sound pulled him from his thoughts. He realized it was his cell phone after a moment of feeling confused. The screen displayed his boss’s name, which made Jase’s heart thump loudly in his chest. Had his boss seen? Was Dustin pissed? Was he totally fucked?

That’d be just the perfect fucking way to end this train wreck of a day.

The buzzing stopped before Jase could pull his head out of his ass. Of course it wouldn’t be a personal call at this hour. He was a deputy for fuck’s sake. He shook his head, snorting at his stupidity, and swiped the screen to call the sheriff back.

After a few rings Rob Dean’s gruff, if slightly inebriated voice answered. “Dean.”

“Heya, boss. You rang?”

“Bout damn time you answered.”

“What’s up, sir?”

“I’m guessing you know this Dr. Alessandro Ramirez?”

What did Ase have to do with anything? Jase swallowed nervously then replied. “Yessir.”

“Dustin seemed to think so, because he told me to send you after the damn fool.”

What? “Sir?” Oh, shit. Had Dustin seen and put Ase out? Shit, shit, shit.

“Miller has Dr. Ramirez down at a bar on Jefferson and Central. She called me as a courtesy since it’s Dustin’s... friend. I’m not one to pull favors, but Dustin asked if you could go get him.”

“Sir?” Jase was still confused.

“He got in a brawl. This will be his fourth since I’ve met the man. He’ll just spend another night drying out in my drunk tank, taking up space, and go home with a misdemeanor drunk and disorderly. If you can get him home so Jan doesn’t have to clean up his vomit, cite him for the drunk, scare him a bit. It’s best for everyone tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Tonight. Yes. He’s lucky he caught me drunk. My nephew’s also pretty pissed, so he’s lucky I’m sending you instead.”

Fuck. Why couldn’t Miller handle it? He asked as much.

“Dustin said maybe you talking to him would straighten him out. I don’t even want to know the story behind this, and I’m in too good a mood to bother with it. And I’ll do anything not to see him in county again. He’s gonna get in deep shit, and I can’t give him too many more chances.” The sheriff sighed. “He seems nice, but a little fucked up, you know? I try not to meddle. But Dustin likes him, for some reason. So maybe a little push. If you think it’ll help.”

Jase scoffed in his head. Him? Help Ase? It didn’t seem likely anything he said would penetrate that stubborn jackass’s insane mood tonight. But what could he say? The least he could do after contributing to the insanity was give the guy a lift home.

“Sure, Sheriff. On my way.”

“Good man. He gives you any trouble, feel free to toss him on in a cell. But let’s make that a last resort, okay?”

“Yessir.”

They ended the call and Jase turned the keys in the ignition. He looked up at Lacey’s little mobile home, feeling the heaviness of guilt in his chest. She’d turned off the front porch light, and only the flickering light of a television winked through the curtains. He’d known better than to stop here tonight, and he couldn’t tell himself any different now he was thinking a little clearer. He owed her a big apology.

His truck rumbled to life, and he backed away from her house, made his way back onto the highway toward town, thinking the night was probably only going to get crazier from here.

Chapter 12

JASE wasn’t wrong, thinking the night would get crazier. When he arrived at one of the smaller bars frequented by frat boys—farthest from the kind of place he’d think Ase would be caught dead drinking at—he found Deputy Miller leaned against the hood of her squad car, sipping from a to-go cup from the neighboring fast food restaurant.

He parked his Ram next to her, turning off the engine as he got out. She met him behind the car. “Evenin’, Emery. How was the party?”

“Less exciting than your night. Seems like you have all the luck with the drunks.”

She grunted. “I’m about tired of messing with it. This one was getting pulled in a lot for a while. Thought he’d moved since we’d lost his patronage in the wet tank.” That explained why Jase hadn’t seen Ase in the three months he’d been on the force.

“What’s the story?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same. This is that guy from the hospital, right? The one you didn’t know.”

“I was just surprised to see him, is all,” Jase mumbled.

She studied him. Damn, he hated being a cop, because they were much more observant than the soldiers he’d been around for so long. “Uh huh,” she said, disbelieving, but continued. “Well, he got in a fight with some locals. Same old, same old. Only reason we hated tying him up is because the good old boys he got to scrapping with are some spoon-fed white assholes. The bartender didn’t want to press charges. He said the other boys egged him on, callin’ him ‘spic’ and such.”

Jase wanted to go inside and turn chairs upside down. He didn’t know where the overwhelming urge to take up for Ase came from, but every emotion that centered around their hook-up and their eight months of correspondence—superficial as it’d been—was overwhelming.

“It get physical?”

“Well,” she said, eyeing the back windows of the squad car. “He’s a little banged up, but the other boys got as good as they gave. This one’s scrappy.”

Jase couldn’t help chuckling. He didn’t doubt that. No one as passionate, or as wound up as Ase had been earlier, would take shit lying down. God knows, for all his exotic beauty, Ase didn’t exactly seem like the kind of man you’d want to meet up with in a back alley.

“S’pose I’ll get him on home. Where’s his bike?”

“Had it towed. Least he can do for my trouble is pay the fee.”

“Agreed.”

She studied him again for a moment, then nodded curtly. “Now remember what the sheriff said. He gets to be too much, feel free to drop him in Jan’s lap down at the department.”

“Will do,” Jase said.

Appeased, Miller opened the back door. “Okay, Rambo, up you get.” She leaned in and tugged Ase to sitting. The way Ase blinked, Jase realized he’d been sleeping on the backseat.

When Ase realized who had been sent to collect him, he let out a petulant, put-upon sigh. “You had to call Dudley Do-Right?”

Miller thumped Ase’s ear. “You be respectful. Deputy Emery dragged his ass in to town as a favor to the sheriff’s nephew to make sure you didn’t sleep in a jail cell. You say thank you.”

Ase glared at Deputy Miller, who didn’t give an inch, before turning to Jase and mulishly grumbling, “Thank you.”

Miller looked at Jase with a shrug. “It’ll do.” She “helped” Ase to standing and uncuffed him. He scowled as he rubbed his wrists. “Be nice on your way home. Don’t make everybody regret not pressing charges tonight.” Ase started to stalk away from her, but she grabbed his arm. “I don’t reckon you came all the way to Texas to ruin your medical career, but keepin’ on like this is a sure-fire way to do it, son.”

The sincerity she spoke with, the concern for her fellow man was touching. It also clearly wasn’t lost on Ase, because he gazed at her for a moment before his shoulders sagged, and he gave her a nod.

“It’s unlocked,” Jase said, thumbing in the direction of his truck. Ase didn’t look at him, just walked over and got in the cab of the Ram.

“Good luck,” Miller said, rolling her eyes.

“I think I’ll need it,” Jase said, looking at the sullen man in his truck. He gave Miller his attention as he wished her a good night and Godspeed on her shift, then made his own way into his truck. He looked into the rearview mirror, watching people trickle in and out of the bar. The faraway sounds of laughter and jukebox music could just be heard through the closed windows of the truck.

“Are we just gonna sit here all fuckin’ night,
gringo
?”

Jase refused to rise to the bait. He leaned his head back on the headrest for a second, took a deep breath, then started his truck. “Where to?” Jase asked.

“I’m on the far side of town. Over on Morely.”

“Avenue or Street?”

“Avenue.”

Jase kept his eyes on the road as he pulled out of the parking lot and started easing his way down the streets. There’d be at least twenty minutes between there and where they were if he took back roads. Did he just sit silently? They’d obviously sent him for a reason, but… what could
he
do for Ase? The man wasn’t exactly receptive to his presence.

“Any idea why your boyfriend called me to come out?” He tried to keep his tone from being snide—or jealous—when he said the word
boyfriend
.

Ase grunted. “Because my
friend
is a meddlesome little
puto
.”

Jase smiled despite himself. “I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear it.” The silence stretched a bit as he turned on what they called the old highway around town, because it’d once been the main artery before the interstate had come on the east side of town.

“Why’d you go this way?”

“Because there’s no traffic lights.”

“It’s also creepy as fuck.”

“Are you going to fight with me about everything?”

“Are you a closet-case?” Ase’s tone was anything but friendly, so Jase assumed he’d intended that to be a rhetorical question. But it made Jase fucking angry. How fucking
dare
this man? He had no clue what Jase had been through over the last few years. He didn’t realize what being in this fucking town was like for him. He thought he’d finally gotten away from it all, the recriminations and the insecurities, and here he was pulled back by the ghosts.

Jase waited ‘til he saw a gravel patch on the shoulder of the road and pulled off, angling his truck toward the woods. Ase’s surprised “What the fuck?” made some childish part of Jase exceptionally pleased with himself.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jase snapped.

“What the
fuck
are you talking about?”

“You can stop with the digs about me being a closet-case. They’re beneath you. And this weird, fucked-up show you’re putting on to prove how angry you are with me is bullshit, so you can stop that right the fuck now, too.” The words hit Ase. because his eyes bored into Jase’s, chest heaving as he breathed, but losing whatever fight had been left in him. Jase hadn’t realized until he spat the words out, that’s exactly what it’d been. Ase had been all bluster and fight, but it’d been a show. Wasn’t hard to figure that out with all the walls Ase had put up around himself. But he couldn’t fool Jase. Jase remembered that spark that’d been in his eyes years ago, the one tamped down, but still trying to twinkle to life when they looked at each other.

“I never got a goodbye. I never got a fuck you. Then you show up here, surprise the hell out of me, and spend a week being a shit.”