Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (33 page)

“The angel of the L
ORD
came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God”

(1 K
INGS
19:7-8).

Regular exercise is a natural deterrent to feeling depressed and contributes to feeling a sense of well-being. Exercise carries oxygen to the blood and promotes overall good health.

“Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come”

(1 T
IMOTHY
4:8).

Taking a walk in the sunlight is another natural way to fight depression. Light coming in through the eyes stimulates the brain to send a message to the body to release antidepressant endorphins.

“Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun”

(E
CCLESIASTES
11:7).

The grieving process provides a strong impetus for “getting down to business” with God. Have candid conversations with Him about your thoughts and feelings. Listen to Him and lean on Him for comfort and reassurance.

“I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees”

(P
SALM
119:26).

Maintaining a positive mental attitude based on the practical application of spiritual truths during the grieving process carries you to victory even through the darkest valley and the deepest loss.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).

Resolve any unfinished business regarding the past by asking forgiveness of God for any failures on your part and by extending forgiveness for any failures on the part of others. Then let go of the past and embrace the present and the future God has planned for you.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”

(1 J
OHN
1:9).

God spoke the world into existence, and His written Word, the Bible, is powerful enough to create new life and to restore joy to your heart, peace to your mind, and hope for your future.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work”

(2 T
IMOTHY
3:16-17).

One of the most helpful, hopeful, and healing truths is realizing that this present life is lived in a temporal body, and a permanent body is waiting for you. In that body you will live throughout all eternity. Grasp God’s promise of living eternally!

“We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
4:18).

H
OW
C
AN
I H
ELP
T
HOSE
W
HO
A
RE
G
RIEVING
?

Extend a compassionate hand to those weighed down in the ditch of grief, and lend a listening ear and encourage a broken heart.

— Acknowledge their loss immediately.

— Accept all emotional or verbal responses without judgment.

— Hug with tender affection.

— Expect tears and emotional extremes.

— Find helpful things to do without being asked.

— Give the one grieving many opportunities to talk about the loss.

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”

(P
ROVERBS
25:11).

“A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed”

(P
ROVERBS
11:25).

“Encourage one another and build each other up”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:11).

The farther you are from a flower, the smaller it seems to the eye—so the farther your distance from grief, the smaller your sadness in sorrow.

—JH

Psalm 10:14

Psalm 62:5

Psalm 147:3

Psalm 30:5

Psalm 42:11

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

John 16:20

Job 6:10

Isaiah 43:18-19

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Alcohol and Drug Abuse, Anger, Decision Making, Depression, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hope, Identity, Overeating, Rejection, Salvation, Self-worth, Singleness, Stress Management, Suicide Prevention, Worry
.

I
t can be a farsighted friend or a formidable foe. Guilt can goad you down the path of righteousness or it can stop you in your tracks as you become fixated on failure and unmet expectations.

True guilt can lead to freedom, while false guilt leads to emotional bondage, leaving people polarized and immobilized in their ditch as the walls silently close in around them. God always uses guilt for the
good
—to convict, correct, and conform your character to Christ’s,
and never to condemn
. The Bible says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

From earliest childhood, no one has escaped guilt. You experienced guilt when you stole a cookie or told a lie. The Old Testament Hebrew word
asham
, with its many derivatives, paints a three-dimensional picture of true guilt.
¹

—
True guilt
refers to the facts of being at fault, deserving punishment, and requiring a sacrificial offering.
²

—
True guilt
is the result of any wrong attitude or action that is contrary to the perfect will of God.

—
True guilt
is the result of sin for which a penalty must be paid for your sin so fellowship with God can be restored.
³

—
False guilt
is based on self-condemning
feelings
that you have not lived up to your own expectations or those of someone else.
⁴

—
False guilt
arises when you blame yourself, even though you’ve committed no wrong, or even though you’ve confessed and turned from your sin.

—
False guilt
keeps you in bondage to three destructive weapons—shame, fear, and anger.
⁵

—
False guilt
, ironically, is not resolved by confession. Revelation 12:10 says Satan is the “accuser of our brothers.”
⁶
He loves to burden believers with false guilt and condemnation. Some of his favorite strategies are bringing up the past, reminding you of failures, and making you feel unforgiven and unaccepted by God.

“The accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down”

(R
EVELATION
12:10).

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

(J
OHN
8:32).

The Bible says Satan loves to disguise himself by masquerading as a spokesman for God. Brutally accusing and condemning those with a sensitive conscience, he uses undeserved guilt as his most powerful weapon. Satan tenaciously incriminates committed Christians, using guilt and fear to generate severe spiritual discouragement. That’s why it is important to learn to discern the lies of Satan. He often communicates with a subtle use of unreasonable “shoulds.”

— “You
should
be smarter and more capable.”

— “You
should
be able to get over your loss much more quickly.”

— “You
should
be more careful and conscientious.”

— “You
should
do more for the poor people around you.”

— “You
should
endure hardship and pain with dignity.”

— “You
should
never display anger or disappointment.”

— “You
should
never let anyone know your real feelings.”

— “You
should
never cry or show weakness.”

— “You
should
never tell your pastor no.”

— “You
should
be the perfect friend, mate, parent, or employee.”

“The accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down”