Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (36 page)

Discerning what is right in God’s sight requires knowing the truths of Scripture and understanding the character of God. Emphasizing only one aspect of God’s character to the exclusion of others does not give an accurate assessment. Do you view God as loving, but with no holy standard for living? Or do you see Him as a holy judge, but with no compassion for human frailty? First John 4:16 says, “God is love,” and Psalm 99:9 says, “God is holy.” And He calls us all to live a holy life, set apart and free from all sexual immorality.

“Be holy because I, the L
ORD
your God, am holy”

(L
EVITICUS
19:2).

Is homosexual behavior a sin?

Yes, according to numerous passages in the Bible.

“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable”

(L
EVITICUS
18:22;
SEE
ALSO
G
ENESIS
19:4-7; L
EVITICUS
20:13).

No, Jesus was tempted “in every way,” yet He did not sin (Hebrews 4:15).

No. Homosexuality is a
behavior
, not an
identity
.
¹
Scientific studies have never supported a “gay gene” that makes people homosexual. The two primary factors that influence someone toward homosexual behavior are the
environment
in which a child is raised, and the child’s
responses
to that environment.

While unnatural behavior can feel natural to those with unnatural desires, the Bible unequivocally states that sexual relations between members of the same sex are
unnatural, indecent
, and a
perversion
of His creation.

“God gave [those who suppress the truth] over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for
unnatural
ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed
indecent
acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their
perversion
”

(R
OMANS
1:24-27).

Yes. Relating to health issues in the United States alone, objective facts show that homosexuality is painfully risky and negative. While 9 percent of homosexual men have AIDS,
²
only .03 percent of heterosexual men have AIDS. According to generally accepted estimates, approximately 2 to 4 percent of the population is homosexual,
³
yet…

They account for…

— 17 percent of gonorrhea cases
⁴

— 85 percent of the syphilis cases in some regions
⁵

— 42 percent of new HIV infections
⁶

— 55 percent of AIDS cases
⁷
(only 5 percent through heterosexual contact; another 22 percent through injected drug use)

They are…

— five times more likely to be infected with an
incurable
sexually transmitted disease (STD) linked to cancer
⁸
(one in three gay men have an incurable STD).
⁹

— 50,000 times more likely to be the victim of physical abuse by a homosexual partner than “hate crimes”
¹⁰
(battering occurs in 39 percent of gay male couples: 22 percent are physically abused by a partner, and 5 percent are sexually abused by a partner
¹¹
).

— eating disorders,
¹³
anxiety, and psychiatric disorders
¹⁴

— substance abuse, depression, suicide
¹⁵

— death by anal, prostate, testicular, or colon cancer

— premature death by 8 to 20 years
¹⁶

Statistics represent only a snapshot in time, but they reveal the devastating impact of homosexuality. And though these statistics are tragic, they should not be surprising because God’s Word clearly communicates the negative impact of sexual sin on the physical body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Most homosexuals feel condemned by the church. Many Christians are unloving toward homosexuals, although Christians are called by God to love everyone…including homosexuals. At the same time, Christians are also called to declare God’s truth about sin so people can turn to Him to experience His forgiveness of their sin and His power to forsake their sin. This is not unloving condemnation, but rather an
offer of hope
. God offers forgiveness along with the power to live a changed life. David, an adulterer, learned the secret of how to be
set free
—and more importantly, how to
stay free
.

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart…I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you”

(P
SALM
119:9-11).

David’s words and life show us that a life of compromise never brings contentment, but staying true to God’s principles brings peace. The Bible repeatedly presents God’s scriptural standard regarding homosexuality in both the Old and New Testaments.

“All the men from every part of the city of Sodom…called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them’…‘No, my friends. Don’t do this
wicked
thing’”

(G
ENESIS
19:4-5,7).

“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable”

(L
EVITICUS
20:13).

“‘Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.’…‘No, my friends, don’t be so vile…don’t do this disgraceful thing’”

(J
UDGES
19:22-23).

“Neither the sexually immoral…nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…will inherit the kingdom of God”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
6:9-10).

Biblical morality is no longer the mandate today. The mandate against homosexuality has changed, just as the mandate for a woman covering her head has changed (see 1 Corinthians 11:6).

Cultures change, but biblical morality has never changed. New Testament truth is consistent with Old Testament truth. Saying that God’s standard has changed would imply that God has changed. God Himself said, “I the L
ORD
do not change” (Malachi 3:6).

A variety of factors draw men to homosexual relationships. The following three causes are the most common bases for a man getting involved in gay relationships with other men.
¹⁷

1. He doesn’t identify with his weak or absent father and views women as undesirable

— Considers his father weak and powerless, and his mother overpowering

— Condemns his father for allowing his mother to rule the family

— Recoils from women because of his domineering, controlling mother

— Fantasizes about sex with his mother to get back at his weak father

— Despises being taken as a surrogate “husband” by his lonely mother

— Retreats from women due to an emotionally detached, absent, or alcoholic mother

Result:

He unconsciously concludes,
Women are not safe. I’m going to look to men for love
. Because of the emotional void in his life, he is drawn to men perceived as strong; thus, he plunges into homosexuality. These sons feel emotionally wounded:

“There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers”

(P
ROVERBS
30:11).

2. He doesn’t bond with his nonaffirming father

— Feels he can never measure up to his father’s standards of manliness

— Knows his artistic, feminine traits are a disappointment to his athletic father

— Envies his athletic brothers, whose maleness is affirmed, while his own maleness is denied

— Resents being given money or gifts instead of love and affirmation

— Perceives himself a failure as a male both at home and among peers

— Leans on the acceptance of his nurturing mother and sisters because he is rejected by the males in his life

Result:

He unconsciously concludes,
I need to look for a new home
. He longs for a male father figure who will affirm him and give him a sense of significance. The Bible cautions fathers to be careful about their attitudes and actions toward their children (Ephesians 6:4).

3. He is not emotionally attached to a positive, healthy male because of mistreatment by a significant male

— Resents his father, whom he views as harsh and rejecting

— Rejects his father for having an affair and abandoning the family

— Rebels against a hypocritical father who espouses religious beliefs but fails to live them

— Reacts with sexual identity confusion to sexual abuse by another male before the age of 12

— Refuses to have a relationship with his abusive, alcoholic father

— Retreats from his own maleness because of hurt and rejection by males in early years

Result:

He unconsciously concludes,
If this is what being a man is like, I’d rather be like a woman
. Thus, in his warped thinking, he despises his own male gender and seeks security within the female gender.

There is a variety of factors that influence girls to seek solace in homosexual relationships. Here are three of the more common ones:
¹⁸

1. She doesn’t identify with her weak mother

— Views her mother as weak and powerless; lives with a victim mentality