Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (39 page)

— Search your heart for the past events or people that embitter your heart, then release your right for revenge.

— Understand that only a close relationship with Jesus can give you the love and confidence to let go. Leave your vengeance to the judgment of God.

— Cultivate a heart of forgiveness toward others that allows you to experience God’s total forgiveness of you.

Putting your hope in Christ will keep you from being wrecked by the crushing events of life. Although your anchor is unseen, you will feel its pull and know it is holding you. No matter what storm you might be presently enduring or might soon be encountering, if your anchor is Jesus Christ, your anchor will hold! Extraordinary benefits await the one who holds on to the hope He offers—benefits based on the promises of God, benefits both in this present life and in the life to come. You cannot earn or deserve the benefits of hope—they are a gift of grace to you based on the Lord’s great love for you. What are these benefits?

His blessed hope…

—
Generates
faith and love in you

“We have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints—the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel”

(C
OLOSSIANS
1:4-5).

—
Causes
you to live a pure life

“Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure”

(1 J
OHN
3:3).

—
Inspires
you to persevere with endurance

“We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
1:3).

—
Uplifts
your downcast soul

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”

(P
SALM
42:5).

—
Causes
you to praise God

“As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more”

(P
SALM
71:14).

—
Anchors
your soul

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain”

(H
EBREWS
6:19).

—
Gives
you reason to rejoice

“Through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God”

(R
OMANS
5:2).

—
Establishes
your security and safety

“You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety”

(J
OB
11:18).

—
Guarantees
your eternal life

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life”

(T
ITUS
3:5-7).

“We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe”

(1 T
IMOTHY
4:10).

In Christ, we have an Anchor securing us through our storms.

His holding power is without question—He holds us secure in His arms.

—JH

Psalm 42:5-6

1 Timothy 6:17

Hebrews 6:17,19

Psalm 39:7

Lamentations 3:25

Psalm 25:3

Romans 5:3-5

1 Peter 1:3

Jeremiah 29:11

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Crisis Intervention, Decision Making, Depression, Evil and Suffering…Why?, Fear, Forgiveness, Grief Recovery, Guilt, Identity, Reconciliation, Salvation, Self-worth, Stress Management, Suicide Prevention, Victimization, Worry
.

W
ho are you…
really?
Do you identify yourself with your occupation, “I’m a teacher” or with your nationality, “I’m a German” or with your struggles, “I’m an alcoholic”?

All of these labels do help identify us by distinguishing us one from another, but they are not our
primary
identity. Based on the Bible, everyone on earth is identified with one of two persons, either Adam or Jesus. And the implications of whose family line you belong to are a matter of life and death—
for eternity
.

When Adam, the first man, disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden, sin entered the world and was passed down to every one of us. And along with sin came death. “For as in Adam all die.” But Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose again, providing forgiveness and the free gift of eternal life. “In Christ all will be made alive” (1 Corinthians 15:22).

And that’s not all. By trusting in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, a
transfer
takes place—from one family to the next. We are adopted into the family of God and are given a glorious new identity—a new nature reflective of Jesus Christ Himself! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

—
The identity
of a person is based on the distinguishing characteristics of that person.

—
Your identity
involves both inner character and outer conduct, which distinguish you from everyone else. Your visible conduct should consistently reflect your inner character. This forms your identity.

“As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man”

(P
ROVERBS
27:19).

— How you are known by
others:
your personality, actions, masks, pretenses, outer appearance

“Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right”

(P
ROVERBS
20:11).

— How you are known by
God:
your basic nature, your character, your value system

“All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the L
ORD
weighs the heart”

(P
ROVERBS
21:2).

In order for us as Christians to walk in victory, we need to identify the lies we believe about ourselves and find the path to recovery, where we discover who we really are in Christ.
¹
Consider the following seven lies we tell ourselves contrasted with seven truths from God’s Word. For lasting change to occur, we must bypass the lies and constantly rely on the truth of Scripture, which steers us onto the Road to Transformation and charts a course toward Christlike maturity, where it’s the Savior, and not our sins, that characterizes us and our true identities.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

(R
OMANS
12:2).

Look at one of the lies each day. Ask yourself,
Am I believing this lie, or something similar?
Then look up scriptures for that day and write them down in your own words. Read them aloud, and thank God that His Word confirms the truth about you—
whether you feel like it or not
. If you repeat this practice for three weeks, you will begin to
see yourself in the way God sees you!

Lie:
“I can’t feel valuable unless I’m loved and accepted by the significant people in my life.”

At times, do you feel as though you’ll never measure up? No matter how hard you try, it’s never good enough—
you’re never good enough
—to earn the love and acceptance of those around you. When your shortcomings always overshadow your successes, your heart says,
I can’t do anything right!

If this is so, you need to know…

Truth:
You have God-given value because you have been placed into a
new family
where you are unconditionally loved and accepted by God.

— You are chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4).

— You are adopted by God (Ephesians 1:4-5).

— You are a child of God (John 1:12).

— You are born again (1 Peter 1:23).

— You have been adopted into the family of God (Romans 8:15-16).

Lie:
“I’ll never feel valuable because this is just the way I am. I cannot change.”

At times, do you feel there’s just no hope? You are hooked by a habit you just can’t shake…and it’s shattering your sense of self-worth. You’ve struggled, you’ve prayed, you’ve renounced the deplorable practice, only to return to it again.

Sometimes a wrong attitude of unforgiveness will weigh you down with guilt. Every time you contemplate getting out of the ditch, the gut-wrenching pain won’t let you let go. You fear you’ll always be the same.

If this is so, you need to know…

Truth:
You have God-given value because God has changed you on the inside and has given you
new characteristics
.

— You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

— You have a new nature (Colossians 2:11).

— You have a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26).

— You have a new Spirit (Ezekiel 36:27).

— You have a new mind (1 Corinthians 2:16).

Lie:
“I can’t feel I have value unless I live in the right neighborhood, drive the right car, and wear the right clothes.”

At times, do you feel you must “keep striving”? You have to work more to earn more, to do more, to get more.
This
must be bigger…
that
must be better!

Anything else would be second-rate, second-best, second-class—and therefore would punch a sizeable hole in your self-image. Slowing down, settling for a little less, would somehow soil your starched and pressed identity.