Daring to Dream (15 page)

Max came up to be when I’d finished and asked if I had a business card, which I didn’t. Instead I got a beer mat, of all things, and wrote my number down for him. I didn’t hear from him for a few months but then his PA contacted me and said Max had a few corporate events coming up he’d like me to perform at, and he also wanted me to sing at his upcoming birthday party that weekend. I travelled to New Malden in Surrey and went along to a beautiful Italian restaurant called Il Camino. It was a tiny little place full of all his friends. There were no celebrities at all and it was nothing like I expected. I know all sorts of things have gone on with Max recently, but I saw him as a really genuine bloke and he used to rave about me to people when no one else believed in me.

About eight months later Max asked me to perform at a charity event that was helping to raise money for British flood victims. As a result of those gigs there was all of this ridiculous stuff in the papers claiming that he’d called up Simon Cowell and told him all about me and that he had to get me to win
The X Factor
. But it’s a public vote, so it’s a ridiculous thing to claim! I didn’t even tell Max when I went in for
The X Factor
because we hadn’t spoken for ages. In fact, the first time I’d seen him since that charity concert was at the final of
The X Factor
because he was backstage.

I wasn’t used to being talked about and every time something else came out in the press I’d think ‘Here we go again’. I tried
not to give it too much thought because it could easily have distracted me and taken my focus away from my performance each week, which was the whole reason I was in the show. I kept setting myself goals throughout the live shows and at some point the nerves started to dissipate. I got more used to standing up on stage in front of a crowd of thousands. It was like I could block them out and concentrate on singing.

But another thing that hacked me off was when someone sold a story to the papers saying that I wasn’t just a prison officer, I’d also worked professionally with Beverley Knight and Lulu. I was accused of being a backing vocalist for loads of artists and people thought I was trying to pull the wool over the public’s eyes. But I was doing nothing of the sort. I’ve mentioned before that I performed on the same bill as them at a charity concert, but I had to do a bit of damage control because that backfired on me and people thought I was being dishonest. I did work with some famous singers in the sense that we shared a stage for a night, but I wasn’t on the stage at the same time as them or sharing a dressing room! I would happily be a backing singer for any of those people, so I should take it as a massive compliment, but I hated people thinking I wasn’t being completely honest.

One of the most exciting things about being on the
The X Factor
was some of the amazing people we all got to meet, although I made a complete douche out of myself in front of Robin Thicke. I saw him walking down the corridor and I gasped and said to him, ‘I’m not allowed to talk to you
otherwise I’m going to say something really stupid. Can I possibly have a photo taken with you?’ What. A. Dick. I’m not very good at having my photo taken with famous people, or even talking to them, because I still get star-struck all the time now.

There were so many people who performed on the show. Katy Perry was one and she had a massive entourage so we didn’t really get to speak to her. Lady Gaga was the same. She had an army of people around her and she was so tiny we couldn’t even see her. It was the same with Taylor Swift. I didn’t even know she was in the building because she was kept totally separate from us.

I really liked it when acts came down to see us and gave us a pep talk in the dressing room. If I go back on the show at any point I will definitely do that. My advice will be, ‘Good luck, enjoy it, channel your nerves and don’t worry about letting anyone else down. This is your dream so take it day by day.’

Jessie J was absolutely amazing when she came on. She came and spoke to us all, as did Harry and Niall from One Direction. The other three members of the band walked down the corridor with their heads down and didn’t even make eye contact with any of us. Harry really saved me one night because I was having a massive, massive paddy over an outfit I’d been made to wear that I didn’t like. Plus there had been stuff in the papers about me that day that had upset me, so I felt like I was having a bit of a meltdown. Harry saw
me crying in the corridor and he pulled me into a dressing room, grabbed me by the shoulders and said, ‘I think you’re amazing. You’re an amazing singer. My mum loves you.’ I’ve since become friends with Harry’s mum. We chat on Twitter and meet up and we get on really, really well. She’s got so much to be proud of with Harry. He’s one of the good ones.

Mary J. Blige came out and spoke to us; she seemed really friendly but I think it was more her entourage that wanted to move her away from us. I reckon she would have chatted if she’d had the chance. But the absolute highlight of all the acts I met was Michael Bublé. I was the only one left in the Overs and Sharon knows Michael quite well, so I got a private meeting. It was the semi-finals and he was in a Winnebago outside the studios and Sharon took me out to meet him. I chatted to him for a while and I even sat on his lap. The crew wanted to film it but they couldn’t get the camera to work, so I was quite happy to sit there for a good five minutes! Later on, when the other contestants and I were waiting to go on and do the ensemble piece, he walked past, stopped and said to me, ‘I’ve just watched your audition. Oh my god, your voice is
amazing
!’ Then he took a photo with me on his phone. On
his
phone!

Robbie Williams was brilliant, as always. He apologised to me backstage for the comments he’d made in LA and said, ‘I want to take back everything I said when we were at Judges’ Houses. I was really worried that you were going to be played on Radio 2 loads and people wouldn’t hear
enough about you but I was so wrong. You’ve totally got my support.’ He even said on the show that he was backing me to win. Olly Murs is a lovely lad, too. I think the people who have been through the same sort of process are the ones who ‘get it’ and always have a few words of wisdom for you. Little Mix were blinding, such top girls. I’ve seen them at a few things since and I can’t fault them. They’re always friendly and good fun.

Rebecca Ferguson was gorgeous and James Arthur was pretty cool. Having been the previous year’s winner he made sure he made time to come and have a chat with us all. It was a difficult evening for him because he had to go on stage and do a big apology for some Twitter comments he’d made. But fair play to him, he did it well and he was great to all of us. Leona Lewis was really nice to hang out with and quite shy and unassuming. I sang ‘Bleeding Love’ with her and it made me realise what a difficult song it is to sing and how incredible her vocal range is.

JLS were among my favourites because they were such a laugh. When us finalists performed with them on the show I was wearing these sequined trousers that were black one way, but silver if you rubbed the sequins up the other way. For some stupid reason I drew a massive willy on my leg in silver sequins during the camera rehearsals. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, I just waited for people to notice, and I remember Aston and some of the crew cracking up.

I was gutted I didn’t get to meet The Killers when we
were in the final. We were running around so much we didn’t get a chance to say hello, but we did get to watch their performance from the side of the stage and the atmosphere was so incredible.

One of the most amazing moments of my life was when I got to meet Celine Dion, who was the nicest person ever. She was really funny and lovely and I think that’s why she’s still going strong now. There wasn’t a hint of diva about her. I noticed that her entourage and her husband Rene sat in the canteen with everyone else. They weren’t hidden away and they were friendly to everyone.

She’s one of my singing idols and of course I’d been to see her at Caesars Palace in Vegas. The autograph Craig bought me had hung proudly in our conservatory for years but the sun had faded the signature, so when I met her I asked her to sign it again, which she happily did. If you’d told me in Vegas all those years ago I’d have had the opportunity to ask Celine to re-sign my picture of her, I would have said you you were insane. Her best advice was to keep going and take care of my voice, and you can’t say fairer than that. She’s so lovely she even tweeted to say congratulations when I won. Maybe I should frame the tweet too?

While we’re on the subject of legends, I also got to hang out with Elton John, who took a selfie of the two of us on his phone. I didn’t manage to get a picture of my own at the time, so I’m still trying to get hold of a copy of the one he has if anyone has got it. Elton?!

Oh yes, and let’s not forget me meeting Michael Bolton… That was so unexpected, which made it even more special. We were back at the house and we were all told we had to do press interviews. Mine wasn’t scheduled until 5pm and I was gutted. I knew that if I could swap with one of the others and do my interview early I could go home and see my kids, but the crew were insisting that I stick to my original time. I’m not going to lie, I was very overtired and very angry, so I went to my room and had a good old cry. I phoned Craig and I wasn’t in the best mood so we ended up having a massive barney. It was such a frustrating situation and seemed really unfair.

I would say that the hardest thing about being in the show was not being able to see my family as and when I wanted. We had Internet connection in the
X Factor
house but we were all sharing it and people were downloading performances and songs and all sorts, so it was so slow. I got so upset about not being able to Skype Craig and the kids one day that one of the crew members gave me the staff password so I could use theirs. I missed them all so much.

One of the researchers came up and said that Sharon was on the phone for me. We started talking about song choices and I told her how upset I was that I couldn’t see the kids. She said to me, ‘You’re the only contestant I’ve got left and I want you to put some make-up on, wear something really nice, hold your head up high and go and do that interview at 5pm. Don’t show any weakness to anyone in that house.
You go out there and you show me what you’ve got.’ With her words still ringing in my ears I pulled myself together and went downstairs to rehearse the group ensemble.

The crew said they were going to do some filming so they mic’d me up. We were just getting started when a researcher came in said someone was at the door for me. I was so confused. I knew it couldn’t be Craig or the kids because they were back in Leicester, and when I opened the door Michael Bolton was standing there. I could not bloody believe it. Lorna had got to sing with him when she’d performed at G-A-Y the week after she left the show, and I was gutted because he’s my favourite male singer ever. I’d had the opportunity to speak to him on the phone a couple of times but meeting him was something else.

I invited him in and we started chatting. Suddenly it all clicked and I realised why everyone had been so tricky about changing my interview time. I got a text from Sharon saying, ‘Did you get your present?’ and I sent her a very grateful reply. Michael and I chatted for ages about music and all sorts and I learnt so much just in that short space of time. After that I couldn’t stop talking about him to the rest of the contestants and I was driving everyone mad. I was being so annoying with my Bolton babbling that one of the crew wrote ‘Mrs Bolton’ on my water bottle backstage.

Ridiculously, Michael (or the ‘Boltmeister’ as I now call him) and I have become quite good mates now and I was talking to him in LA for about an hour the other day. We
recorded a track for my album and I was supposed to do a gig with him at the Royal Albert Hall earlier this year but I wasn’t well, so I was absolutely wounded that I missed it. Hopefully I’ll get the chance again. That would be something else.

I’ve got so many nice memories from being on the show but so much of it is a blur. Honestly, it went by so quickly that sometimes it didn’t feel real. Some of the smallest, silliest things are the things I remember most. Craig’s Auntie Susan owns bakeries in Loughborough and she makes the most amazing cobs. She used to send a load down with Craig every week and after the show we’d all have them backstage with ham and cheese; the crew used to call them ‘Sam’s baps’. It became a running joke that after the show all week everyone would tuck into ‘Sam’s baps’. I was performing with superstars and yet it’s things like that which will always stay with me. I’ve seen a lot of the crew on other TV shows since and they’ll come over and say, ‘How are you Bappage?’ I made some really good mates on
The X Factor
. It’s just one of the many reasons I’m so grateful to the show.

It was so nice getting to know the judges too. Obviously it’s every judge for themselves because they have to look after their acts, but once Gary’s last act, Rough Copy, had gone he came and chatted to me and told me how much he loved my voice. Nicole was the same. She was very professional and she was really respectful and lovely, but she kept her distance to a certain extent because she was keeping an eye on her girls. Louis was a laugh and Sharon had my back
throughout everything and we’ve stayed really close. She has been so incredible and looked after me so well and I’ve asked her to be godmother to our newest addition, Miley. I also asked Nicholas McDonald to be godfather. He cried his eyes out when I messaged him, he was so overwhelmed. I know they’ll both be amazing.

It goes without saying that I was given the nickname ‘Screwbo’ while I was on the show but it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve been called worse names before (remember Piss Flaps?). And I totally got where the comparison came from. When the public first saw SuBo on
Britain’s Got Talent
they judged her straight away, and they did exactly the same with me. I took it as a compliment because they were thinking I probably looked a bit of a state, had no talent and was a tough prison officer, so when my booming voice came out they were a little shocked.