Deadly Expectations (73 page)

I figured that getting to the car would either make the back pain better or worse but I was wrong.
 
It stayed the same.
 
Ray and Denis were both watching from Bee’s window when we got out front so when Paul got in to warm it up I held up my sign.
 
Ray tapped Denis on the shoulder and held out his hand.
 
Denis scowled and started digging around in his pocket.
 
It was my Canadian money he would give to Ray.
 
Then Denis held up his hand for me to wait so I did.

“I wanted to say sorry for how I greeted you the other night,” Denis said when he got out to the car, then he smirked, “I know you could have hurt me.”

“Damn right,” I let myself smile back.
 
“I didn’t know my arm could do that … can you show me that move some time?”

“Anyone who can take that hold without screaming like a little girl is allowed to learn it,” he seemed relieved.

“I thought you had my back Paul,” Denis said stuffing his hand in his empty pocket.

“What?”
 
Paul said but Denis went back in the house laughing.

“I thought you knew me better,” I called after him.

Chapter 53

Paul had volunteered for the first part of Andre’s plan; cutting him off, but that wasn’t going to make the rest of his plan any easier.
 
He went missing a lot at night.
 
I woke up alone or from the sounds of him letting himself out or back in.
 
He’d gotten very good with the stubborn lock and could open it almost silently.
 
I didn’t ask or even let him know that I noticed and he didn’t comment but I was certain that it was every night.
 
He was tired too.
 
Between the long daily jogs and being out for two or three hours when he thought I was out cold he was more and more drained every day.

Missing too were his public displays of affection for me.
 
He would always return mine but I didn’t feel his arm around me or his lips on the top of my head when I wasn’t expecting it.
 
It felt like the connection we had was suddenly gone.
 
I still would have taken care of him without all the strenuous activity and offered more than once but he said no.
 
Just a taste wasn’t going to be enough Paul said.
 
He’d ask for more, I wouldn’t say no, then he would feel guilt and I would be in more pain.
 
I told him that would be better than feeling like he didn’t want me at all any more but he just put his hand on my stomach like he did every night now as he fell asleep and whispered of course he still wanted me.

Andre still followed me around.
 
He praised me for getting my resolve back.
 
He’d been worried at Alina’s that I had lost it so he’d separated himself from me so that he could keep me on target.
 
He said I was the kind of woman he wished he’d found.
 
Respectable in that I’d saved myself for the man I would marry even if I hadn’t held out until after the wedding.
 
Sometimes he sat at the table with Paul and me, or in the back seat of the car.
 
When Paul wasn’t around we would talk.
 
His plan for Paul.
 
His plan for Damian.
 
He told me he loved me and was grateful for what I was giving up to help him.
 
I didn’t feel like I had any choice.
 
I knew he didn’t either.

We drew names for gifts for Christmas.
 
I pulled Denis’ name and we weren’t supposed to tell who we got.
 
We also put a limit on the amount.
 
It didn’t make much sense to go overboard with things we would have to find room for in the truck.
 
There was already all the extra clothing and winter gear we bought for our extended stay here.

Three days before Christmas Bee insisted that we all go to Mass on Christmas Eve.
 
She had never missed it and didn’t plan on starting now.
 
I had taken her the past few years.
 
Paul and I decided we would just wear what we had for out night out in
Edmonton
but I needed shoes that were more sensible than suicidal.
 
Ray and Denis had nothing suitable so Paul stayed with Bee and I went shopping with them.
 
I got my shoes first and waited while they were in the men’s store.

I was cursing the hard bench out front of the store when Ray came out to check on me.
 
Andre was on the bench, his arm around me.
 
He’d been getting touchy with me lately, giving me the physical contact I so desperately missed from Paul.
 
I craved it from Andre.
 
Whether I tried with Paul or not made little difference to how much I got back.
 
Andre’s nose was by my eye and his lips brushed my cheek.
 
They felt dry and almost powdery.
 
I thought the dead soldier’s breath would be vile but it was inoffensive as a pile of old cardboard.

It’s okay to like it Anna,
he whispered,
how is it any different than him going for a run to tire himself out … you’re not being unfaithful … you’re only just touching yourself … what do you think he’s doing when it gets to be too much for him … he’d never hurt you by asking you to make love when you’re in so much pain already.

“Paul doesn’t have a tie does he?”
 
Ray interrupted.

I agreed; annoyed that I had to pull my mind out of Andre.

“I knew it.
 
If Denis and I have to then he will too.
 
What colours is he wearing?”

“Dark blue shirt, gray jacket,” I told him.
 
“Are you sure you have to do that to him?”

Ray laughed.
 
“Don’t be on his side about this … it’s
Mass.
”

“Ray,” I said as I put my hand on my chest, “I’m running out of antacid … I’m just going to run down the mall to the drug store while I wait.”

I didn’t want to be bothered by him again.

“Okay.
 
I gave my word to Paul I would keep an eye on you,” he sighed.
 
“Make it quick and come in and tell us when you get back.
 
Promise you’ll be good.”

After the drug store I called Ray.

“I’m bending the rules on the gift exchange … I’ll be in the jewellery store.”

I could hear him grumbling to Denis.

“Daniel is finished here … he’ll go with you.”

“Okay bye,” I hung up.

In the jewellery store I got Paul a nice waterproof watch.
 
He had worn his good one here and the moisture from sweat and rain had gotten in.
 
It still worked but the lens was half cloudy from the dampness inside.
 
I’d put it in a bag of rice to try and dry it out but he kept taking it running.
 
It was an expensive gift from his parents for his college graduation and would cost a lot to fix when it finally seized up.
 
The one I got would be good to the bottom of the lake he was lapping twice.

“I don’t think you even own a watch,” Denis said on the way out.

I shrugged.
 
“My father got me a couple but they always quit working.
 
He figured I was careless but as careful as I was they just died.
 
Even the windup ones.
 
He gave up trying to get me to wear one after three.
 
I think now it’s that blue light.
 
I’d never even owned any jewellery until I married Paul.”

“We’ll make a lady of you yet,” Denis laughed.

“Good luck with that … I’ll follow you in.”

We walked back to meet Ray.
 
Andre held my hand, whispering in my ear.

Christmas Eve Andre chose to follow Paul and me upstairs.
 
Paul and I were both dressed up.
 
I had passed on the rollers this time and wore the lighter makeup I’d bought the day after we met Keith and his family.
 
I didn’t want to go.
 
I wanted to stay home with Andre but he said I had to.
 
He said they were getting suspicious because I was so distracted and I couldn’t get away later if I was shot up with God knows what and locked in my bedroom until I popped.

Paul was displaying a sudden inability to put on a tie.

“Do you want me to get Ray down here to do it for you?”
 
I asked.
 
We were running out of time.

“No, I’ll just have to skip it.”

Convenient, I thought.

“Come here,” I sighed.
 
My father had taught me as a kid and I hadn’t forgotten.
 
I always asked him to teach me whatever he was doing.
 
I pulled Paul’s collar up and did up the top button.
 
That was half the challenge right there.
 
After a little adjustment to the length I did a decent job.

“Damn, I didn’t count on that,” Paul laughed.
 
He was standing close in the bathroom so I stretched my face up to his for a quick kiss.
 
I got one but was disappointed that he didn’t find the green dress as irresistible as he had in the hotel.

“Ray made me promise that if you weren’t wearing it I would be.
 
Sorry, you’re not going without it.
 
You know I’m on your side about it.”

“It would look just as silly on you,” he said.

I agreed and was glad I didn’t have to find out exactly how silly.
 
When we got upstairs Ray and Denis were both ready.
 
The only other time I had seen the three of them dressed up was when the Colonel had come to Paul’s.
 
And that wasn’t really dressed up.

“Paul, did you have to show her how to operate that?”
 
Denis pointed at my dress, laughing.

Paul sniffed.
 
“I thought it looked good on me.”

I laughed, that got me off the hook then I noticed the look on Bee’s face.
 
I was standing to Paul’s left and she was glaring off to his right.

“There’s a dirty old piece of your line following you around Anna.”
 
She made a face.
 
“It smells musty.”

I followed her stare around Paul and saw Andre there.
 
He yawned and picked absently at the hole in his neck.
 
Then he winked at me.

“Stop doing that in my kitchen,” she whispered quietly.

Andre dropped his hand and rolled his eyes.
 
Bee watched him as he walked out of the kitchen toward the front door and disappeared.
 
I kept staring to Paul’s right.
 
Paul was looking at her.

“Bee?
 
What was that?” he asked.

“Anna sent it away.”

Paul looked at me and I shrugged.
 
Bee looked at me then the clock on the stove.

“It’s time to go.
 
I expect you all to behave,” she said.

I suspected she meant that I keep Andre out of sight but she didn’t know he got around of his own accord and even if I was alone with him it would be a waste of time to suggest he find something else to do.

Bee sat up front with Ray and I sat between Paul and Denis in the back.
 
It was dark and past bed time.
 
We had to park on the street a block away from the church since there was no way the massive Lincoln would fit into the overcrowded parking lot to even look for a place to moor it and it was just as crowded inside.
 
We were able to all sit together in the back.
 
I could see that Andre had taken a seat at the very end of one of the rows on the other side.
 
Bee seemed to be ignoring him now, or maybe she didn’t think she had any say so because this was someone else’s house.
 
I watched him though.
 
When I held Paul’s hand he glared at me so I took my first chance to let go and didn’t take it again.