Death of Cupids (The Blood of Cupids MC) (4 page)

“He wasn’t… like that back then.  Not yet at
least.  I think that night was what pushed him over the edge.”

“I’d say that’s a bit of an understatement.”

“I wanted her to turn him down.  I wanted her to stay a
Brennan and me to stay a Cassidy and forget this whole thing happened.” 
She stood, meeting me.

“But then you left anyway.”  I stepped forward, looking
down at her.  Everything she was saying was making my blood boil with
rage.

“I had to, Ryan.  I couldn’t stay.  I couldn’t
look at your father every day knowing that… knowing I was responsible for Emily
Brennan’s murder.”

Did you forget you’d be leaving me too?

Did you realize how broken he’d be by losing the only two
women he ever cared about at the same time?

Did it ever occur to you that he was the one blamed for
her murder?

Did you never think to at least find your son and tell
him why you left?

I would have asked one of those questions.  Hell, I
would have asked all of those questions, but I didn’t get to ask a single one.

“You were responsible for my mother’s murder?”

We both turned around to see Grace, standing in the hallway
wrapped in a robe.  She looked as though she was going to scream.

Grace

“I think I’m going to be sick.”  I turned around and
ran straight for the bathroom.  I slammed the door behind me and twisted the
lock.  My back pressed against the cool tiled wall, and I slid down until
I hit the floor.  I just needed to breathe.  In, out, in, out… no, I
needed to throw up.

I rolled on my knees, lunging forward and grabbing the
porcelain in my palms.  Between my heaves and coughs, Ryan was banging on
the door.

“Grace.  Are you okay?  Grace.  Please let me
in.”

“Go away.”  I cried as the tears ran down my
face.  I wasn’t sure if the tears were from the pain I felt emotionally or
the pain I felt physically, but they were there just the same.

“Grace, I’m not going away.”  His voice was determined,
but I didn’t want him to see me this way.

“Please, just give me a minute.”  I coughed again,
bringing up the last bit of my lunch.  It was now the sixth time I had
thrown up in the last four days.  A road trip did not seem appealing;
neither did spending that stretch a time with a woman who admittedly had a hand
in my mother’s murder.  How was I supposed to get through this?

I rinsed out my mouth and splashed the cold water on my
face.  I didn’t dare glance in the mirror; I could practically feel the
broken blood vessels around my eyes.  I knew I couldn’t hide in there
forever, but I was going to hide as long as I could… at least from Anne Marie
Carter.  I couldn’t face her just yet.  I slid back down to the
floor, leaning my burning head against the chilled wall.

“Ryan.”  I whispered through the door.

“I’m here, Grace.”

“Just you?”

“Yes.  Just me.”

I reached up, unlocking the door, and allowed him to take care
of the rest.  It opened slightly, and I saw his pitying eyes peeking down
at me.  I gave him a crooked smile as I scooted to the side, offering a
place for him to sit next to me.  The door opened just enough for him to
join me in our tiny bathroom.  He locked the door behind him and sat in
the space I had made.  My head fell, landing on his shoulder, and I was
soothed by the steady rise and fall of his breath.

“So,” I finally spoke, “I don’t think I’m going to get along
with your mom.”

He turned his head, planting a kiss on my now damp
forehead.  “I don’t think I’m going to get along with her either.”

I chuckled slightly.  He said exactly what I needed him
to say.  He was exactly where I needed him to be.  He was exactly
what I needed.

After a few ticks of much needed silence, I elbowed
him.  “It was a fun six weeks.”

“It really was.  I kind of like playing house with you,
Grace Brennan.”

“And I you, Ryan Cassidy.”  I playfully poked him on
the nose.

“So where to next?”  He leaned back against the wall.

“You mean, after Philadelphia?”

“Yes: after Philadelphia.  Where is the next place we
paint our red door?”

It was a good question.  I guess we couldn’t stay here,
in our little south California cottage.  While it had been our dream home
the past six weeks, it was now tainted.  I’d never be able to open that
door again and not remember the note she handed me.  I wouldn’t be able to
forget her sitting on my couch telling Ryan that she was responsible for my
mother’s murder, for that terrible memory I would carry with me the rest of my
life.  I would never feel safe knowing that Sean, and whoever else was
working with him, knew where we lived.  No.  Ryan was right.  We
would need a new red door.

“Kids should have snow.”

I looked at Ryan, unsure of what he meant.  “Snow?”

“Southern California doesn’t get snow.  Could you
imagine growing up and never making a snowman?  Never going
sledding?  Never catching a snowflake on your tongue?”

I couldn’t.  Those were important childhood
moments.  He was right.  “Kids
should
have snow.”

“So we’ll go somewhere with snow.”

“And I want one of those wrap around porches.”

“Yes!  And a big backyard where we can have a
trampoline.”

“A trampoline?”

“They look like a lot of fun.”  He insisted.

I laughed.  “So we’ll have a trampoline.”  I
thought of all the things I loved as a child.  I thought of what we’d be
able to give our child.  “And a tire swing.”

Ryan kissed me ever so lightly.  “And a tire swing.”

The talk of our next dream home grounded me.  I no
longer felt sick or exhausted.  I no longer feared facing his
mother.  That was all in the past.  Ryan and I were too busy looking
to the future: our future. 

“Grace?”  His voice was quiet.

“Yes?”

“You do know how much I love you, right?”

“I have an idea, but you can still tell me.  How
much?”  I smiled up at him, but his returned look wasn’t playful; he was
serious.

“We don’t have to do this.”

Just the way he said it I knew he wasn’t seeing the option
as an ideal, but he was offering me an out.  He knew he couldn’t ask me to
help rescue the children of the woman who had abandoned him, the woman who
might as well have ordered the hit on my own mother.  But he also knew
that he couldn’t leave me.  Whatever we did now, we did together.  We
were a team.  We had finally figured that out.

I placed his hand in mine and felt a rush of energy. 
Something was on his mind: something he wasn’t telling me.  I kissed his
cheek.  His skin was warm, flushed.  His eyes bore into me, waiting
for my reply.  He didn’t actually expect me to want to run, did he?

“We can’t keep running from him.  You know that,
right?”

“I do.  But I want you to know that I would do
that.  For you.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”  I smiled at
him.  “I believe you would do anything for me, Ryan Cassidy.”

“I really would.”

His eyes were still filled with intensity as he looked at
me.  I couldn’t quite place the desire that I could feel pouring from his
stare, but one thing was for sure: Ryan really did love me.

“As much as you love me, I love you too.”

“I know.”

He did know, but I watched him relax after I confirmed
it.  “Ryan, what’s wrong?”  I finally addressed his suspicious
behavior.  “I mean, other than the obvious.”

“Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.”

“Okay.”  I still eyed him, waiting for him to snap.

Then, after an eternity of tense silence, he did snap, just
not the way I thought he would.

“There’s just one thing I want you to do for me before we
leave.”  He pushed my hair out of my face and positioned himself directly
in front of me.

“Anything.”  I smiled at him, trying to figure out what
he was about to spring on me.

“Marry me.”

Ryan

That ring had been burning a hole in my pocket since the day
we arrived in California.  There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to
marry her.  I wanted to make sure the world knew she was mine, and I
wasn’t about to waste any time proving my point.  Finding the perfect
moment to prove the point, though: that seemed impossible.

She hadn’t been feeling well lately.  I assumed it was
the stress of everything that had happened.  Between learning of our
fates, being shot, watching our fathers die only an arm’s reach away from us,
and everything Sean had put us through including killing the last person she
had left on earth, her Aunt Kathryn, I really didn’t know if she’d be ready for
a celebration.

But I was ready.  I was ready to start my new life with
her, with only her.  That’s when I bought her a ring.  As I had
never, well barely ever, splurged on alcohol, drugs, or hookers like the other
guys in the
Blood of Cupids Motorcycle Club
, I had been able to save up
almost eighty grand in the last five years.  It was enough to start over,
and I only hoped enough to prove to her that I was worthy.

But every time I tried to start the conversation, something
got in the way.  Furniture needed picking out, groceries needed buying,
and my favorite: Grace was tired and needed to lie down.  Every day was a
repeat of the day before.  I thought she was avoiding me.  I thought
she knew I was prepared to propose, and was trying to let me down easy.  I
just couldn’t imagine why.  After everything we had been through, why was
she hiding now?

She was pregnant.  Of course.  It explained the
distraction, the nausea, the mood swings, and the exhaustion.  It wasn’t
me.  It was our baby.

But now our future was being threatened.  I couldn’t
waste another minute.  Waiting for the perfect moment was not the perfect
way any longer.  She needed to know how I felt.

“Marry me.”

Had I been able to produce the ring that second, it would
have been pretty smooth on my part.  Unfortunately, since I had been
sitting, the band had found its way to the very bottom corner of my
pocket.  I awkwardly repositioned myself to give my fingers a fighting chance
of finding their target.  I should’ve felt like an idiot, but I
didn’t.  I was so excited.

“Ryan?”  Grace looked at me, her brow furrowed.

“Hold on… and there.”  There, nestled between my thumb
and index finger, was a platinum halo with a square cut diamond sitting atop of
it.  The fluorescent lighting of the bathroom was actually pretty generous
to the stone, allowing flecks of light to flow in each direction.

Her attention darted back and forth between me and the ring,
never settling, never stopping, but also never answering.

“What are you doing?”

“Proposing.  Is that not clear?”  It was part
joke, part complete seriousness.

“In here?  In the bathroom?  With my face like
this?”  She brushed the streaks of dried tears from her cheeks.

“Yes.  Right here.”  I stopped her frantic hands,
closing them in mine.  “I have wanted to marry you since the moment you
walked into that bar.  Do you remember the first thing I said to
you?  When you asked me if I was lost?”

She choked out a loud laugh.  “You said
I was lost
until I saw you.
”

“Yes.  Yes, I did.  And while I might have hated
myself in the moment, it was so true.  I might not have known it then, but
I truly was lost until I saw you.”  I squeezed her hands tighter.  “I
knew you were special then.  I knew if I didn’t take action, I might lose
you forever.  So that’s what I’m doing now, Grace Brennan.  I am
taking action.  I want you forever.”

She let my words sink in, and her face flowered into a
smile.  “Yes.”

“Yes?”  Was she answering my question?

“Yes.  I will marry you Ryan Cassidy.”

Arms flew, and we were instantly twisted into an
embrace.  I brushed my hand through her hair, still tightly holding her
ring with the other, and grabbed the back of her neck.  I pulled her into
a kiss full of excitement, love, and lavender shampoo.  She pushed back,
crawling over top of me and guiding my back to the floor.  My head landed
softly on our plush bath mat.

“Give me.”  She smiled, holding out her left ring
finger.

I slid our vow around her finger, and with its perfect fit,
she gave me her perfect lips.  I squeezed her to me, wanting as much of
her as she’d give me.  Between kisses and nips, we made plans.

“Just you and me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

She sat up.  “What?”

“Grace, I don’t want to wait until this is all over. 
God forbid, if anything were to happen to me…”

“Ryan, don’t talk like that.”

“I’m just trying to be practical.  I know I want to
marry you, and I know I don’t want to wait.  I want to do this tomorrow.”

“Can we even do that?”

“There’s no waiting in California for a marriage
license.  We can absolutely get married tomorrow.  If you’re okay
with that, of course.”

Her glowing smile outshined the fluorescent lights of the
bathroom.  “Then tomorrow it is.”

I would have pulled her back down on top of me, but I didn’t
need to.  Her lips crushed mine, sending a charge through my entire
body.  My breathing became shallow simply because I didn’t want to break
long enough from her attack to inhale.  My hands caressed her waist and
then her hips, rocking them to meet my own.  Our knees were tangled,
thanks to the small depth of the room, but we didn’t care.  Our bodies
knew how to move together. 

Her hands were on me too, tickling the curves of my shoulders
as she allowed me to take control of her hips.  Her still wet hair was a
sharp contrast to her warm breath as she grabbed my ear between her teeth and
rolled my earlobe with her tongue.  I swelled beneath her, my body
craving.  Her kisses followed down my neck, sucking hard at my
pulse.  I lifted my chin to allow her more access and moved my hands up,
to her breasts.  They were swollen and firm and she made a small humming
sound as I teased her nipples with my thumbs.  They peaked instantly, but
I continued to tease.  I wanted her to hum louder.  I wanted to hear
her pleasure.  I traced her cleavage with my fingertips and followed her
fading scar down, pressing into her stomach and then finding my way back to her
hips.

My hands continued down, now under her robe, grabbing at her
thigh, grabbing her anywhere that would pull her closer.  I wanted to be
inside of her.  I wanted her to physically feel my love.  Honestly, I
just wanted a way to be closer.

But I would have to wait.  Just as my thumbs tucked
under the lace of her panties, there was a knock at the bathroom door.  We
both froze, and we could feel each other’s hearts racing as our chests kept
contact.

“Grace, you can’t hide in there forever.  Please, let
me explain.”

Celebrating would have to wait.

She tilted her head at me.  “Guess we should tell your
mom the news.  Well… not all the news just yet.”

Grace lifted off of me, bringing her hand to the door.