Diana in Search of Herself (78 page)

50
   Attenborough worked with: Mi, 10/17/85; DM, 4/24/89

51
   x“Well, obviously. You feel … No, we don’t”: DM, 10/21/85; Mi, 10/21/85

52
   “friendly tiff”: DM, 10/21/85

53
   “What a smashing”: Mi, 10/21/85

54
   “Di and Charles are so”: Sun, 10/21/85

55
   “unbelievable cleavage”: B-JD, p. 471 (PC letter 11/13/85 to unnamed recipient)

56
   Their four-minute number: Mi, 12/23/85; DS, 12/24/85

57
   “provocative and sensuous”:
People
, “The Diana Years” (1997), p. 115

58
   “terrific” dancer:
Hello!
, 11/29/97

59
   “was in sparkling form”: Sun, 6/4/85

60
   Charles had also resumed: B-JD, p. 480

61
   The rapprochement with Kanga: DM, 10/24/85; SuPe, 6/2/86

62
   “blue with jealousy”: Interview with Nicholas Haslam

63
   “Camilla had a fallout”: Interview with Stuart Higgins

64
   He was an unlikely prospect: B-WB, p. 25

65
   “the love of my life”: Anthony Holden,
Charles: A Biography
(1998), p. 204

66
   Mannakee had been warned: B-WB, p. 25

67
   Nevertheless, Diana was disheartened: Holden, pp. 198–99

68
   “I don’t want to spy”: B-JD, p. 482 (PC letter 2/11/87 to unnamed recipient)

69
   “There appeared … to disintegrate”: B-JD, pp. 477–79

70
   “started to withdraw”: Ibid., p. 479

71
   “bat ears”: Sun, 5/7/86

72
   “plastic smile”: Mi, 5/8/86

73
   “I didn’t know anything”: B-AM1, p. 45

74
   “My husband told me off”: Ibid., pp. 55–56

75
   “Even together … they were apart”: B-JD, p. 480

76
   they kept different: Descriptions of Charles and Diana’s domestic discord are based on confidential interviews, as well as: Sun, 8/13/86; B-WB, pp. 5, 12, 28, 35, 43, 45, 53

77
   “desperation”: B-JD, p. 480 (PC letter 11/18/86 to unnamed recipient)

78
   “I never thought it would”: Ibid., p. 481 (PC letter 2/11/87 to unnamed recipient)

79
   “the warmth, the understanding”: Ibid.

80
   “knowledge … cared about our marriage”: Pano, p. 14

81
   other staff understood: B-WB, pp. 12, 57; B-PJ2, p. 103

82
   “the change of behavior pattern”: Pano, p. 15

83
   “a certain woman”: B-PT, p. 25

84
   “It’s agony to know”: B-JD, p. 479 (PC letter 3/11/86 to unnamed recipient)

85
   “the whole royal ‘setup,’ ”: B-PT, p. 28

86
   “berating Charles for seeing”: Ibid., pp. 29, 33

87
   “pretty devastating”: Pano, p. 14

88
   “terrified”: B-AP, p. 121

89
   “spent my whole time … letting them see it”: B-AM1, pp. 50–51

90
   “She was teary and … out of sorts”: B-SF, p. 98

91
   Richard Foster had spent:
Hello!
, 11/22/97

92
   “She was tense down to”: ST, 11/1/98

93
   “after five years of being … tell her”: B-AM1, pp. 54–55

94
   But she recalled …“he just gave me”: Ibid., p. 56

95
   A footman at Balmoral: B-WB, p. 49

96
   “Friends on my husband’s side”: Pano, p. 15

97
   “matchmaker Diana”: B-SF, p. 69

98
   abetted by Diana and Charles: Mi, 12/24/85; B-WB, p. 38

99
   She once said that the royal family: B-AM1, pp. 61, 64

100
   “tried to lacerate me”: B-AM2, p. 65

101
   “[Charles’s] grandmother is always”: Sun, 8/24/92

102
   “Diana sometimes said”: Interview with Roberto Devorik

103
   “something troubling”: B-AM1, p. 53

104
   initially got on well: B-WB, pp. 33, 109

105
   “pique”: DM, 1/23/85; DEx, 12/22/84

106
   “Her Royal Rudeness”:
Time
, 2/28/83

107
   “rattle her cage”: B-AM1, p. 54

108
   “hopping mad and quite”: Mi, 3/24/82

109
   “country gentry”: Biographical material on Sarah Ferguson is drawn primarily from her memoir,
My Story
.

110
   “kept rearing her head”: B-AM1, p. 58

111
   “set me free”: B-SF, p. 3

112
   “I was robust and jolly”: Ibid., pp. 97–98

113
   “Why can’t you be more”: Ibid.

114
   “It must have been hell”: Ibid., p. 75

115
   “Diana felt the Queen”: Interview with Roberto Devorik

116
   “our common interests”: B-SF, p. 97

117
   After listening … “maybe I ought”: B-AM1, p. 58

118
   “flavor of the month”: B-SF, p. 119

119
   “a tower of strength”: Mi, 5/15/86

120
   “near obsession about how”: DEx, 5/8/86

121
   “the cold indifference”: Mi, 5/15/86

122
   “I don’t know why there”: Sun 5/10/86

123
   “It doesn’t matter what”: DS, 7/3/86

124
   “fasts and feasts”: Sun, 5/12/86

125
   “weeping self-doubts”: NOTW, 5/11/86

126
   “Nothing like a touch of”: NOTW, 8/10/86

127
   “Having a wonderful time”: SuPe, 8/10/86

128
   “Recent worries about”: To, 8/11/86

129
   “for the things she enjoys”: Sun, 8/13/86

130
   “Whether that was bad”: Interview with Stuart Higgins

131
   “Charles spends long hours”: NOTW, 8/3/86

132
   Charles lightly cuffed: NOTW, 8/3/86; Sun, 8/13/86

133
   “Diana seemed to be permanently”: DM, 9/24/86

134
   “I never got any O levels”: Ibid.

135
   “I just come and talk”: NYT
Magazine
, 2/21/88

1
   In November 1986: Descriptions of Diana’s affair with James Hewitt are drawn primarily from his “as told to” memoir,
Princess in Love
, by Anna Pasternak.

2
   “as if no other woman”: DT, 4/7/98

3
   Diana and Charles had successfully toured: DM, 11/22/86

4
   “It wasn’t a typical seduction”: DEx, 9/3/98

5
   “Charles was involved with Camilla”: DM, 11/28/98

6
   “I always want the unobtainable”: Sun, 1/12/98

7
   for which he compensated: DM, 11/28/98

8
   “I couldn’t read and assumed”: Ibid.

9
   “I had red hair, was short”: Ibid.

10
   During his school days, Hewitt used: Ibid.

11
   “He lost his trust in people”: B-AP, p. 55

12
   as a “decoy,” Emma later said: DT, 4/7/98

13
   “was holding long whispered”: Ibid.

14
   “She let her fingers mingle”: B-AP, p. 86

15
   he had “trusted” the Oxford-educated: DEx, 9/3/98

16
   “vaguely, socially”:
You
magazine, 9/20/98

17
   it was widely ridiculed: DEx, 9/3/98

18
   “Yes, I adored him”: Pano, p. 27

19
   “factual evidence”: Ibid., p. 26

20
   “there was a lot of fantasy”: Ibid., p. 27

21
   “She knew that somewhere”: B-AP, p. 75

22
   “It was with James Hewitt’s unswerving”: Ibid., p. xiii

23
   “spent hours lying in bed”: Ibid., pp. 87–88

24
   “I was with her because”: DM, 11/28/98

25
   “release from the tension”: B-AP, p. 34

26
   “emotional roller coaster”: Ibid., p. 171

27
   In the beginning she would sit: Ibid., p. 156

28
   “violent paroxysms of despair”: Ibid., p. 171

29
   “struck her as a form”: Ibid., p. 170

30
   “he had never seen anyone so distraught”: Ibid., p. 138

31
   “Often she felt as if she was perching”: Ibid., p. 142

32
   “lack of control … unmitigated greed”: Ibid., p. 117

33
   he couldn’t reveal: Ibid., pp. 124–25

34
   “I view depression as a sign”: DM, 11/28/98

35
   “Some people go to psychiatrists”: DEx, 9/3/98

36
   Diana expressed her affection: DM, 7/18/91; ES, 9/13/92

37
   “head to foot”: Sun, 8/24/92

38
   At least one maid worried: B-WB, p. 87

39
   “she would try anything to win”: B-AP, p. 126

40
   “an attempt by others”: Interview with David Puttnam

41
   she began to tell Hewitt she hated: B-AP, p. 127

42
   When their guests arrived: B-WB, p. 66

43
   “That is the total agony”: B-JD, p. 477 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)

44
   stripped of the basic civility: NOTW, 9/20/87

45
   “an obsession for her”: B-AP, p. 160

46
   then retreat to her room: B-WB, p. 69

47
   “the biggest story they’d ever”: R&R-Doc, Part II, p. 24

48
   “a version of the facts”: B-JD, p. 574

49
   The first significant clue: DEx, DS, DM, 2/12/87

50
   “the last time we were close”: B-AM1, p. 50

51
   Charles had resumed: NOTW, 12/28/86; DT, 8/28/86

52
   invariably prompted rebukes: B-JD, p. 483

53
   hinted unfairly and incorrectly: Ibid., p. 482; DM, 10/19/87

54
   “eclipsed by the Princess, resentful”: B-JD, p. 476

55
   “I can’t see a light”: Ibid., p. 483 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)

56
   “unable to turn to his parents”: Ibid., p. 476

57
   “When marriages break down”: Ibid., p. 480

58
   tried to get Charles to build: B-WB, pp. 46–47

59
   “The very fact that she felt”: B-AP, p. 142

60
   “slashed … adjusted to hide the damage”: B-PJ2, p. 137

61
   “She was like the sun coming up”: TNY, 9/15/97

62
   “undignified”: DM, 2/18/87

63
   “black lover”: ST, 9/23/90

64
   she smirked while reviewing: B-PT, p. 44; B-SF, p. 124

65
   “sexy” Diana … “grumpy” Charles: DS, 2/23/87

66
   Diana’s bulimia had again: B-AP, pp. 144–45

67
   Waterhouse and Dunne: SuPe, 6/28/87; DM, 11/2/88; MOS, 2/17/91

68
   “mystery fat man”: NOTW, 6/28/87

69
   “stormed off”: Ibid., 6/21/87

70
   “in a huff”: DM, 6/21/87

71
   The tabloids castigated: Sun, 6/23/87

72
   “We are
not
having”: Ibid.

73
   “frequent visitor to Kensington”: B-JD, p. 481

74
   Waterhouse also visited: B-WB, p. 82

75
   “repeatedly tried to reassure”: B-AP, p. 260

76
   which especially galled: B-JD, pp. 476, 482

77
   accused Diana: B-WB, p. 60

78
   “positive hurricane”: B-JD, p. 483 (PC letter 10/24/87 to unnamed recipient)

79
   They spent several weekends: B-WB, pp. 78, 80; SuMi, 2/14/88

80
   A group of advisers: NYT
Magazine
, 2/21/88

81
   “Disco Di,” the femme fatale: DM, 9/25/87

82
   “so many cock-ups … stop fighting”: B-AM1, p. 64

83
   “rediscover the real”: Ibid., p. 157

84
   “comparatively civilized ‘space’ ”: B-PT, p. 52

85
   “They were back in sparkling”: SuMi, 2/14/88

86
   “glanced affectionately at his wife”: DM, 1/27/88

87
   “she now hated with a vitriolic”: B-AP, p. 166

88
   they appeared to their staff more calm: B-WB, p. 84

89
   “worse than her usual melancholy”: B-AP, p. 185

90
   Charles acted heroically: Ti, 3/12/88

91
   “He just pushed me aside”: B-PT, p. 61

92
   She insisted that they take: B-AM1, p. 60

93
   “so inadequate in every”: Ibid.

94
   “We cried for Prince Charles”: DEx, 3/15/88

95
   “the beginning of a slow process”: B-AM1, p. 161

96
   Back in England with Hewitt: B-AP, p. 186

97
   She lashed out: Ibid., p. 191

98
   “most beautiful woman … found her attractive”: Ibid., p. 193

99
   She said that her skin: B-AM1, p. 61

100
   But by 1988, people had begun: Interview with William Haseltine

101
   “painfully thin, almost gaunt”: To, 3/25/88

102
   “suddenly woke up”: B-AM1, p. 61

103
   “sweetheart … four or five”: Ibid.

104
   “born again”: Ibid.

105
   “finished”: Ibid., p. 60

106
   suffered from the symptoms in 1990: Ibid., p. 61

107
   who only overcame: WO, 4/8/78

1
   “She’d never ask if she”: Sun, 1/15/98

2
   “tended to seek out people”: B-PT, p. 207

3
   “from one person to another”: B-JK, p. 78

4
   “immediately began to pour”: Sun, 1/15/98

5
   “easily defeated … strong character”: B-AM1, p. 208

6
   “What is going to happen”: Sun, 1/15/98

7
   “believe [astrology] totally”: B-AM1, p. 66