Dream Chaser (27 page)

He stepped out of her way, and she
edge
d toward the door. “So you say,”
her voice cold, her lips tight, her eyes glaring
.
“My father taught me how to take care of myself, Jonathan Kingsley. I know
all about men like you.
”
She pointed a manicured finger at him. “You—s
tay
away from my mother!” Penny
stalk
ed out of the room and down the front steps.

Jonathan saw the three of them off with a wave, wanting to gather Suzanna into his arms to protect against whatever her daughter might say to her once they were out earshot.
That girl’s
a real hellion.
Heaven help the man who fell for her and then didn’t do exactly what she wanted. Would she be another Chelsea? He prayed not.

Chapter 13

Suzanna helped
her daughter
pack in readiness for
Penny’s and Kevin’s departure the next day. “What’s
bothering you?
You seemed
upset
when we left Jonathan’s place.” She brushed Penny’s hair off her face.

“Get off it, mother.
That man’s after you. I could see it in his eyes. I don’t trust him.” Penny whirled around to face Suzanna. “Think about it. You’re a wealthy widow and you’re still attractive. You drove out here, so far from home, and you were all
alone and he
saw
your
loneliness and
took advantage
.
You were easy pickings.”

Suzanna raised her hand to object, but Penny ignored the gesture. “It’s so obvious he’s hot for you. Maybe you even encouraged it, the way you look at him.”

Her face feeling warmer by the second, Suzanna said, “Penny, it’s not like that.”

Penny stared at her. “Are you
in l
ove with him?” She took a quick breath, her voice raised, “How could you?
Daddy’s been
gone
barely a year. That’s just so…gross!
”

Suzanna’s stomach was doing flip-flops.
“Wh
y do you always think the worst of me? Jonathan has never …” But her
mind turned immediately to their kisses after the movie, when he had come to dinner, how she had felt when they were dancing
and that night on her couch when his hands had skimmed the edges of her breasts and he’d left her wanting more, so much more
.
Maybe she had encouraged him, but not in the way Penny was implying. She put her hands to her face, its heat telling her she must be flushed
.

“
Jonathan and I…we’re friends. He’s my landlord.
I’m—I’m just his short-term tenant.”

“Well, let’s hope you’re not his short-term lover
, too!
”

Suzanna backed up, feeling as if she’d been slapped
.
She gasped then found her voice as her anger and resentment built.
“What
do you
—since when have I
ever given you cause to think that?
”

After a long pause, Penny’s face crumpled.
“
I shouldn’t have said that.
It’s just that—it’s just that—” She turned
away
. “I know
you’re
in love with
him
. It’s so obvious. I know you weren’t getting along all that well
with Daddy
before he—” She
took a gasping breath, her voice turning plaintive.
“It’s not been that long.”

Heavy silence reigned
as Suzanna stopped folding Penny’s clothes and glared back at her daughter.

“Are you saying I can’t occasionally enjoy a man’s company
—like going to a movie or sharing a dinner
?”
she demanded,
her
hands now fisting as her pulse raced
. Scenes of her husband
when he was so dismissive of her
, dinners
delayed and then eaten
without him,
the children’s school functions she’d attended alone, the way he’d yelled at the kids and her and that last day at the beach,
flashed through her mind. “How long must I wait
to have a life
, Penny?” She closed the bedroom curtains with a jerk then directed her
full
attention
at
her daughter. “
And h
ow long are you going to grieve?
Your father is dead. You have to accept
that
—and
this, too.
I’m
not
the mother you want me to be,
not the woman I used to be
, not anymore
.”

Suzanna
flipped her hair back over her shoulder
. “
Jonathan isn’t the kind of man who would have a casual affair—with me or anyone else. He’s serious about his work—here on the ranch and when he presents seminars on campus. Did you know he has a PhD? Did Kevin tell you that?”

“Who cares about that? If he’s so serious about things, then maybe he’s in love with you, too. But that’s even worse, Mother. You can’t take him seriously. He’s so different from us, from all your friends. You’ve only been here since May. How could you possibly fall in love with him so soon…so soon after … ”

Penny angrily wiped the back of her hand against her face, as if trying to staunch her tears.

Suzanna pursed her lips, her voice rising. “
I don’t want to live in that big house all by myself
anymore
. I don’t want to be surrounded by all the things that remin
d me of how your dad treated me
or you and Kev. I just want to be me
.
On
my
terms, not
your father’s,
or yours!” She sat down on the bed and burst into tears.

Kev
in rushed into the room. “What’
s going on in here?” He turned on his sister, his face
red
. “What did you
do? What did you say to her
?”

Suzanna press
ed
both hands against
her
cheeks
and took a deep breath.
“Kevin. Stop.”
She stepped
over
to the window, opened it to drink in the cool air, to try to calm down
, to think clearly
.

She turned
around
and
faced
two pairs of eyes staring at her
. “Penny
and I were talking. S
omething we’ve needed to do for a long time.”

Quietly, Penny apologized
, sounding like she meant it this time
. “I’m sorry, Mother. I
shouldn’t have said that
.”

Suzanna
placed
a finger
against
her daughter’s lips and looked deeply into her eyes
. She was so like her father
.
“Not another word.”
Then she gave Penny a long hug
before releasing her
.

“I’ll be back in a
little while.
” She clicked her fingers. “Sam,
it’s time for your
walk.”
She escaped the looks her grown children were giving her by leaving the house.
Skirting the trees, she walked the fe
nce line paralleling the road.
Is Penny right? Does Jonathan love me?
Like I love him.

The dog whined and pushed his head against her hand, then
dart
ed ahead of her,
chasing
a rabbit that raced away from him into the nearby brush.

I know he likes me, but he hasn’t said he loves me.
She sighed and kicked a dirt clod
then leaned down to hug the dog when he returned to stand by her.
I feel his kisses in every part of me.
Am I confusing down and dirty lust with love?
But she didn’t want to think that was all it was.
She couldn’t remember feeling
the same way
with Brad—or perhaps she didn’t want to remember
w
hat it was
like in the beginning, when he’d convinced her to go to bed with him before they were married, or during their time together, particularly after she’d become so troubled, afraid to confront him about his affairs until the end.

Suzanna pick
ed
off
a handful of Sam’s fur
from
the
wire of the nearby fence. “You’
re shedding. Let’s give the birds
more
nesting material.” She pulled more
loose clumps of
fur from his
coat, watched them float on the air and disappear in the darkness. She
hugged Sam then
rose to her feet and continued her aimless
stroll in the moonlight
.

Jonathan seemed to appreciate her for herself. Not for how she might enhance his standing in the community. She recalled how Brad had insisted that she host dinner parties, gatherings he’d held to impress certain clients. She’d hated those nights after the guests left, when he’d find fault with her for some minor misstep with the menu, the table decorations, her wardrobe, an offhand comment she’d made to a guest.

She couldn’t imagine that Jonathan would act that way, but did he want her to be a permanent part of his life? He’d been so badly hurt by his first wife. Did she
dare to think he wa
nted her by his side?

Her breath caught in her throat and she almost choked. How could she not have seen this coming?
I can’t ask
him
. What if he says ‘no’?
She didn’t think she could survive such rejection,
not after this summer.
But
what
if he said ‘yes’?
Was she worthy
?
She hugged the dog
again
b
efore heading back to the cabin
.

Kevin knocked lightly on the bedroom door. “Penny, you awake?”

Penny
opened the door, walked into the living room
and sat
down
on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest.

Kevin looked at his sister, in her summer pajamas, her face scrubbed clean of make-up, her hair in huge curlers.
“Do you really think
Mr. Kingsley, Jonathan,
is taking advantage of
Mom—like you said? I know he likes her, but—”

“
Oh,
Kev, it’s so obvious.
” Her eyes flashed impatience.
“
How can you not see it?
I’m afraid to think
she
’s fallen for
him.
Didn’t you see
how she looks at him?”

“I thought she was being polite—you know, nice—like
she always is
.”

“Dammit, Kev.
Wake up.
You should
know when a man’s really into a woman
—
like you and
Ronnie
.”

“Leave
Ronnie out of this
,” he snapped. “Besides, why
do
you care?
Mom
deserves to be happy. If
he loves her and she loves
him, why shouldn’t they
be
together?”

“Kevin Michael Wallace! That man—Jonathan—he’s
using her! That’s not the same as love and you know it.” Penny began pacing between the couch and the far wall, flinging her arms as she spoke.
“
It’s so obvious—the
tall
, handsome rancher and the
little
city woman who rented his falling-down cabin. She came out here
all by herself
and he
saw how helpless she was
and
took advantage
.
I know he did. I’m surprised he didn’t get her to move into that big house with him. Heaven knows it’s a lot nicer than this old shack.
And, it’s not been
that long
s
ince Daddy died.
”

“I think you’re
exaggerating.
”

“
No, I’m not. S
he’s making a
big
mistake
if she’s thinking of staying here
much longer.” She flung her arms out again. “You don’t think she’d do that, do you?
It scares me to death wha
t he might do after we’re gone
.”
She stopped her pacing and whirled around. “I’ll bet he planned all this, he invited her here—after Daddy died, didn’t he? Wasn’t he the one who helped her at Margaret’s beach house?”

Kevin shook his head. “You’re wrong. Mom said it was his son, Neil. Don’t you remember? We used to watch him when he did tricks on his kite board. I don’t ever remember seeing Jonathan at the beach.”

Penny resumed her agitated pacing, sucking in her breath and then hissing it out again.

Kevin stood up. “Y
ou’re jealous—that’s why you don’t like him. He likes Mom and she likes him, and
you can’t even hang on to the same boyfriend for more than a couple dates
.
”
He
smirked
.
“Admit it.
”