Envious (29 page)

The next day…today. I was getting ready. I had blow-dried my hair, and it was looking better. I did my makeup, brushed my teeth. Nice minty breath. As I applied the finishing touches, I continued to think over what Bailey had said. She was right, and I think she had everything covered in her list. Was I ready? Was Mike right? Were my reasons right? The more I though about it, the more I began to think that the answers were no. I barely knew Mike. How long could I go before regretting it? A day? A week? Month? Year? Ten years? I had no idea.

Mike slipped inside the open doorway. “Hey,” he said, looking me up and down as he leaned against the closet door.

“Hi,” I said, putting on my coat.

“Done primping, Cassie? Come on, beautiful,” he said as he grabbed my hand. I picked up my purse before turning off the lights.

When we got in his freshly washed and waxed BMW, I asked, “So, where are we going?”

He smiled slyly, “To my place, baby.” Then he sped off.

“Mike?” I began.
How was the best way to do this?
“Why don’t we go somewhere else?”

He stopped at a red light. “Why?” he asked as though I had asked something incredibly stupid.

“Uh, there’s a movie I wanted to see…” Movie? Go see
another
movie with him? I was so sick of movies.

“What movie?”

“Well, I don’t remember the name. It was that one…Hotel…”

“
Hotel Rwanda
?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” I said as I tried to brighten my expression.

“
You
want to see
Hotel Rwanda
?” His face showed what he was thinking. He didn’t believe me. I didn’t blame him, I wouldn’t have believed me either. Nevertheless, I nodded. “Okay,” he said, taking a sharp right hand turn. “Movies it is.” I touched his arm gently, to show some sort of affection. Only then did he smile.

The movie theater was almost empty. We sat in the back row and off to the side. As soon as I sat, Mike took my face in both of his hands and kissed me. “I’ve been dying to do that,” he said with a smile.

I slid my arms around his neck and said, “And I’ve been dying to do
this
.” I pulled him close again and kissed him. I opened my mouth. A
French
kiss. I felt his tongue moving seductively around my tongue and I let myself go in the moment. My heart thumped and I could feel my hands beginning to shake. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. It was nothing I hadn’t done before.

It must have been over a minute later when Eric-

-When
Mike
pulled away, looking to the movie screen. The movie was beginning. “Do you really want to see this?”

“Not anymore,” I said, pulling him close again. I kissed him hard, but he pulled away again.

“Let’s go to my car.”

I followed, not wanting the moment to end. He pulled me along by the wrist. I tried not to slip on the fresh slush. It had been snowing on and off all day, and while we were inside another inch had fallen. Small flurries fell on us as we made our way across the parking lot. Finally we reached his car. I instinctively went to the passenger side door, but Mike pulled me around, smiling. “Wrong way, chicky.” He brought me over to the backseat. I got in and he entered after me. He locked the door and inched closer to me. Mike pulled off his jacket and helped me with mine, casually tossing them in the front seat. His cologne smelled so strongly in the small space. He put his hand on my waist, gently rubbing the cloth of my shirt with his thumb.

“Cassie, you are so sexy…beautiful…” He dramatically pressed his lips to mine. It was a gentle kiss…in the beginning. He slowly added more force before he made his way down to my neck. He massaged the back of my neck with his hand while kissing the side of my neck with his mouth. “You taste good.” He pulled his weight closer to me. I held my hands in his dark hair as he had his way with my neck. I could feel his breath all over me.

“You
smell
good, too,” he added. “What is that?”

“Um, my shampoo?” I said, unsure if that was a good answer or not.

“Mmm, I like it,” he said as he buried his face in my hair. I didn’t think it was possible for him to come any closer, but he did. His hands moved over my back until they found the seam of my shirt. He began to move his hands under it to touch my skin. I gently moved his hands away, so they moved to another section of my body. My legs, thighs…much safer territory. Until he moved on to my butt, well, what he could reach of it.

I never understood the fascination with butts. Breasts I understood, but butts? When I looked at a guy, I looked for his build, his face, his hair. Arms turned me on, muscular arms. Necks too, and abs, especially abs. Even smell. I touched over Mike’s back and chest with my hands. He had a defined shape, but it was nothing like Eric’s. Mike was t
oned, not muscular but I still liked it.

He kissed the front of my neck, then moved back to the side.
Maybe I should kiss his neck too
, I thought. I pulled his head up and sunk my face into his neck. I kissed and kissed, until I moved back to his face. He pulled away and adjusted himself to sitting over me, legs on either side. He flipped a sweaty piece of hair out of his face, staring down at me, his mouth closed hard but his eyes soft. I stared back at him. He put his hands on my waist and slowly began to lift my shirt. I put my hand up and stopped it before it revealed my bra.

He smiled softly and said, “
Please
?”

Don’t be prude, Sandy. That’s how you lose a guy. Don’t be prude.

He didn’t wait for an answer before he began pulling again, but I still held it down. “I’m…not ready,” I said.

He smiled sweetly and said, “Don’t be shy.” I looked at him, wondering whether I should give in or not. Then he smiled sweetly again and said, “I hate shy girls.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he kissed my cheek. Once I closed my mouth, he moved on to my lips. His tongue parted them and found its way inside. He pulled his tongue back and said, “You’re a good kisser.” Then he moved back in and put his hands up the back of my shirt. I let him. I knew he would keep trying, so I let him. He kissed my collarbone, kissed my chin, my hands, my arm.

“Beautiful?” he asked as he pulled back. “Please?” He looked down at my chest and took the edge of my shirt in his hands. I started to pull his hands away, but then I stopped. And he smiled. He pulled the edge of my shirt up, over my black push-up bra. His smiled his sly smile and began to pull my shirt off the rest of the way, over my head and off my arms. His face seemed to brighten and he took me in his arm and kissed under my collarbone. My stomach twisted, making me feel sick. His hands moved over my bra, searching to feel what was underneath. He touched my skin, rubbing and groping. He kissed around the edges of my bra and licked just below my collarbone.

The licking was strange, very strange. It made me want to squirm away. But I stayed. I didn’t want to lose the moment. I didn’t want to lose the attention. But I was feeling tired.

He felt up and down my back with his hands. His left hand found my bra clasp.  He fumbled with it. “No,” I said. “No.”

“Come on Cassie. You’re so hot. I just want to see. I just want to touch. Please? Please, Cassie? You sexy bitch.”

That snapped me out of the foggy dreamland I had slipped into, where nothing felt completely real. “No, Mike,” I stated. He backed his upper body slightly away to look me in the eye. For the slightest second, he looked perturbed, but then he quickly changed back to his sweet smile.

“Please, Cassie. You know I want you. Don’t play games. Please?”

He was draining on my stubborn ways. I was afraid I might give in when suddenly, out of no where, the car lurched forward, knocking Mike off me, and me almost on him. There was a small crunching sound. “What was that?” Mike asked, his eyes growing a fire inside them.

“I don’t know.” Then the car lurched back, slightly. Mike opened the door, hopping out of his car, and I quickly covered myself.

“Shit! God damn!” Mike yelled.

I looked out the window but snow was blocking my view. I pulled my head and arms through my shirt and squeezed my way out of the car behind Mike. The crunched back end of a Chevy sat two inches from the crunched back end of Mike’s new BMW. The driver of the other car got out to assess the damage.

“You idiot,” Mike ranted. “Look what you did to my car. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m so sorry,” she said, nervously looking down at the damage she had caused. “I was just backing out of my space. It’s so icy.”

“Bitch, you’d better pay for that! It’ll cost you!” Mike yelled, getting up in her face now.

“Mike, calm down,” I said, but he ignored me.

“I’m gonna need a new bumper now. You had better pay up.”

The girl looked close to tears as she stared down at her car. “It doesn’t look that bad,” I said in her defense.

“Let me get my insurance card,” the girl said.

“You’d better,” he growled. “Damn it, you’d better.”

I stepped back into Mike’s car, feeling so dizzy, and collapsed on the back seat.

1205

Elijah and I stepped into the cabin. I expected to find dust coating the floor, but I didn’t. Every inch inside the beaten hut was spotless. There were shelves and shelves of bottles and canisters. From the ceiling hung herbs and grasses. Unlit candles hung in lanterns from the tattered roof. The place smelled strange with so many scents intertwined. Elijah stopped short when he stepped inside.

“This place is odd,” he said. “Abandoned on the outside, clean and well kept on the inside. I don’t like it.”

“Heodred told you to come
here
?”

“Yes, but he said it was abandoned and no one used it. That is not the case any longer. Come, let’s leave here,” Elijah beckoned to me. “Cassandra, we must leave before the owner returns. Come!”

I shook off my fears and said, “I wonder who lives here,” venturing deeper inside, looking closely at the clay jars.

“What does it matter? We cannot stay.”

“Elijah, we must. I have a feeling, an instinct.”

“I’m sick of women and their instincts. I know a fact. We need to go.”

“Elijah, we’re staying, but we must hide. In the woods.”

“The men will find us there.”

“And they wouldn’t think to search a cottage? Use your head. We’ll hide in the underbrush.”

“And what about the horse? Where shall we hide it? Behind a
tree
?” he mocked.

“We will find a place.” I guided him out of the house and through the trees. Next to a tall, overgrown stump was a fallen tree. It had fallen into another tree, which stopped it at a good angle. The branches faced the ground making a kind of hideaway underneath, and I knew at once this was the safest place we would find. Elijah tied our horse to a branch.

“It is pure luck that you found this place,” he muttered.

“I cannot see the cabin’s entrance from here. I will have to go closer.” I snuck away before he could protest.

I watched the cabin’s entry for hours before I found myself dreaming, asleep. I kept running, staggering. Something was holding me back, pulling at my body. No matter how hard I ran, I could not move anywhere. I heard the wolves behind me. I heard their barking. They were coming closer and closer… I tripped on something. An arm, a hand. It was Eric, his body. He lay lifeless, half his face eaten away, blood coating his clothing, his rags. The wolves were getting closer. I could feel them, they were so close…
Help!
I wanted to scream, but I had no voice, I had no voice. I was helpless. I tried to get up, but something pulled me back down. It was Eric. His half-eaten, rotting face slowly said, “Do not leave me, my love.” Suddenly, worms began wiggling and climbing out of his body. He screamed and screamed.

When I woke, I could still hear his screams, echoing in my ears. Slowly, my vision came into focus and I heard a
twig snap. Someone was coming…

CHAPTER 25

YOUR OWN PERSON

I slowly opened my eyes. I was still on the back seat of Mike’s car. I groaned. My head ached and my bones felt stiff. I slowly began to move my limbs, getting them used to movement again. I sat up.

“Hey there, Cassie,” Mike said from the driver’s seat. “Finally awake?”

I rubbed at my temples and tried to blink away my headache. “What?” I asked groggily.

“I couldn’t get you to wake up. You’re a heavy sleeper. That’s what? Twice now?”

“Where are we?”

“Uh, look around, chicky. We’re at school.” I looked out the window and saw that we were in the parking lot behind the dorms. “I
was
going to attempt carrying you in there, but then I realized I wanted to be alone with you some more,” he added with a sly smile. “So…” he began as he turned around in his seat. “It’s still early.”

I stared back at him, hanging on to the tiny thread of energy that coursed through my body. “I think I’ll just go. I’m really tired.”