Envious (27 page)

We traveled through the water for a while before Heodred slowed the huge animal, leading us out of the stream before stopping completely. He climbed down from the back, pulling me carefully after him. I rushed into the water, falling to my knees and soaking my body in the cold stream. I dunked my head under the water, still feeling the flames lapping at my body. Heodred followed me in. I helplessly looked up at him through dripping wet hair, and he pulled me up. Elijah lit a small fire to dry me and Heodred checked my legs for burns, diligently moving the singed, wet fabric up my body.

“Do you feel any pain?” he asked gruffly.

“No. I do not know,” I answered. He looked at me, unsure of what to make of my response. “I feel detached.”

He sighed and said, “That is understandable. You danced dangerously with death. The marks I see are treatable.”

Heodred soaked a cloth in water and wrapped it around my burns, instantly cooling them as I dried by the fire. “Thank you for rescuing me. I was so frightened. How…?”

Elijah spoke up. “I switched the wine with juice before fermentation. I knew that that way the fire would not spread so easily. Heodred convinced one of his comrades to oil the ropes, so they burned faster and tore apart. We broke you out, but now the King’s guard will be looking for us.”

Heodred whistled to the horse and then spoke, “Take my horse. You must continue north and stay off the road. Travel for a time through the stream and then across the rocks, so as not to leave a trail. I must return to the castle. I will claim you bewitched my mind and point them west, away from you.” He stood and said, turning his back to me, “Those men are blind. They will never cease the search for you. They do not realize the true witch lies within the castle.”

CHAPTER 23

POINT ME TO NOWHERE

I felt overwhelmed by the memory, Mike, and the beer.
I’m alive…I mean, I lived.
Mike was too close. I was drunk. I gently tried to push Mike away, but it didn’t work. I pushed against his arms harder and harder until he finally broke lip contact.

“Why’d you stop me? Want to go somewhere else…more private?” he asked, offering an invitation he obviously thought I could never refuse.

“Mike…I have to g-go.” My mouth had some trouble saying the words, though less trouble than I thought it should. Maybe I wasn’t as drunk as I thought. But I had to leave, before I did something regretful with Mike. I slowly climbed off the sofa and carefully walked across the room. Mike did not follow as I found my way to the hallway, the staircase, and, finally, my room.

I lay on my bed, more awake than I had felt in days. I stared blankly at the off-white ceiling, thinking over everything. I though about what I had done to Todd. It seemed so horrible, yet so justified. An aching emptiness in my heart grew as I thought about how I had gained a friend whom I trusted and lost him so quickly. I somehow always found myself being used and lied to. Eric often lost my trust and would then gain it back, only to lose it all over again. And now we weren’t speaking. I had thought that was for the best, but…

I had survived the fire, against all odds. Maybe there was still hope for Eric. Maybe if I had somehow kept him from Aurora in the past, then, maybe, I could get him in the present. Everything in my future depended on my next vision of the past.

I woke up, startled as Aurora shook my shoulders. She stood over me and said, “Wake up, or you’ll sleep all day!” Then she smiled, her widest, most enchanting smile.

“What time is it?” I asked, sitting up. A pounding exploded in my head. I winced from the pain and blinked my eyes.

“It’s eleven-thirty.”

I reached for my bottle of water on the floor and quickly drank almost half. I was so thirsty. “Why are you here?” I asked as I realized she wasn’t my roommate anymore.

“Sandy, sweetie, we need to spend more time together. I have our whole day planned. Well, what’s left of it. Now come on and get dressed.”

As I obediently changed my clothes, Aurora watched and talked on and on about her classes. It always bothered me how she would stare at me when I changed my clothes. Was it really so hard to turn your head away? I slipped into a pair of jeans that used to be tight, and a sweater, while I pretended to listen to her ranting about a professor with an indecipherable accent.

We went to the mall so she could shop and I could give opinions. Basically, she wanted her own personal cheerleader.
Wow, Aurora, you’re amazing. Go Aurora! Yeah, beat those boring jeans into something sexy! You can do it! Yay!
Pathetic, but not completely. I would want one of those cheers for myself.

We chatted as though we didn’t despise each other at all, and I realized that Eric was the only problem between us. Both our jealousies. But one fact was clear. She had him, I didn’t.

“This year,” Aurora said, “is a new year. A fresh start for everything. The Japanese think that on New Year’s all last year’s problems are forgiven. Everyone gets a fresh start.” She was building up for something, a certain subject, and I knew exactly what it was.

“Aurora,” I began, “We’re really good friends.”

“The best,” she added.

“It’s so weird to fight with you.”

“Fight? Haha. When did we fight?”

“Well, we rarely disagree at all. Our only problem was Eric. But he shouldn’t be. I mean, I’m over him. You’re his girlfriend, not me,” I said, looking down at a pair of jeans in my hand.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so jealous lately. I just, at first I was being protective, and then…everything got sort of warped in my mind. Haha,” she laughed uncomfortably. “I actually thought you were trying to steal Eric from me. Talk about stupid.”

No, Aurora. You were right.
I was trying to steal him.
I’m trying to put a stop to it though.
The first step was confirming the Eric avoidance and next step…well, I wasn’t sure exactly what that was.

“Hey Sandy… Mike is trying to get your attention.”

I turned and saw Mike standing halfway across the store, looking absentmindedly at a clothing rack. “Oh, no.” I uttered.

Aurora turned to me. “What do you mean? He totally likes you.”

“I know. I made out with him,” I said in a panic.

Her jaw dropped in ultimate shock. “Oh, wow. Sandy, you slut,” she joked.

“What do I do?”

“You go to the movies with him.”

“
What?
I can’t go to the movies with him,” I said in a harsh whisper.

Aurora crossed her arms and asked, “Why not? You must like him if you made out with him, and he likes you. You weren’t just using him were you?” she asked, accusingly.

“No. I just…” Did I like him? I always felt uneasy around him, except for when I was drinking… Could that be because I
liked
him? Kissing him wasn’t so bad. It was kind of nice. Not fire like Eric, but after my last memory, fire didn’t seem too appealing.

“Well I invited him to come see a movie with us today. That way, there’s no pressure. Totally casual.” She waved him over to us and he happily strode over.

“Hi Cassie, Aurora. Sup, beautiful ladies? Happy shopping? Cassie, how’s your head?”

“Uh, pounding.”

“Yeah, figures. Must be pounding like a bitch. You’re so small, half a beer could do you in.” I smiled uncomfortably.

The three of us went to the movie. Aurora proved that she was a better actor than the movie’s star. She perfectly played the part of someone who wasn’t there at all. She was just there to make sure I didn’t run away when Mike put his hand over mine. She was there to make sure I didn’t scream when Mike tried to kiss me, although she couldn’t keep me from dodging his lips. He caught my cheek instead. I felt queasy every time he came close to me. I couldn’t help it.

After the movie, Mike asked for my phone number. Without thinking, I gave it up. And then it was over. He walked away without forcing me to kiss him or anything. It was such a relief.

“Why didn’t you kiss him?” Aurora asked. “Don’t get all shy around him.”

I looked at her, and her face was lit with pure bliss. I don’t think she had ever been so happy. It was strange…

When I returned to my room, I plopped down at my desk and dove into my homework. It was six o’clock by the time I looked up again. Dinner at the dining hall had started an hour ago, but there was still time to eat. Come to think of it, I hadn’t eaten anything all day, except a pack of M&Ms at the movie theater. I didn’t feel very hungry, but I never did. I decided it was best to go eat. After all, I had spent all that money for a meal plan.

Bailey was returning to our room when I began to leave. She told me to hurry back so we could watch the movie she rented. That was how she wanted to get to know me. We were roommates, but we hardly saw each other. She was always with her friends or boyfriend, and I was always…somewhere. So she came up with
“
Movie Saturday.”

I casually walked across the dark campus. The sidewalks were slippery and I had to walk slowly. For some reason, my school never thought to put salt down after they plowed. It was annoying. I pulled my coat tighter around me, shivering as I watched my breath appear and disappear before my eyes. It was so cold. I heard a twig break behind me and half a second later, a hand touched my shoulder.

I screamed in shock as I slipped on the ice and fell to the ground. I looked up immediately, ignoring the pain that rushed through my leg and butt. Mike stood over me, looking happy, yet embarrassed at the same time. “Cassie, you okay? I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything. You’re real jumpy.”

“I’m not jumpy! I just slipped, okay?” I snapped as he held his hand out to me. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people.”

He smiled slyly. “And I thought you would be happy to see me. Aren’t you happy?”

He pulled me up by the wrist. Once I was on both feet I muttered, “Whatever,” under my breath. Mike must not have heard. Or at least he deciphered it as a “Yes, I am delighted,” because he put his arm around my waist.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

Again he smiled his strange smile. “I’m helping you walk, so you don’t slip again.” I just didn’t care to argue with him anymore. I was in pain and tired, wishing I hadn’t thought to eat. Food seemed to be my nemesis lately. It was what got me out there, and what got me high at Todd’s.
I hate food.

We walked the rest of the way through the cold and into the cafeteria. He led me over to a seat and said, “Sit and I’ll get your dinner.”

“I’m not an invalid,” I replied dryly. Then I looked at the line and saw Eric. He was eating his corn dog while waiting to pay for it. His glance caught mine. I went hot all over and looked away as quickly as I could. Mike’s hand was still around my waist. I could feel that Eric was watching me. I could feel his eyes on me.

Mike put his other arm around me in a sort of loose hug. “I want to get your food. It’s my way of saying sorry for you falling.”

I just nodded, a sort of violent movement of the head. I wanted to hide. Eric and I had confirmed that we were avoiding each other. I didn’t want to ruin it already. I didn’t want to be the first one to break it. I sat down while Mike went through the line. I looked up and saw him grab Eric’s attention away from his corn dog. Mike was saying something and with each movement of his jaw, Eric’s face became more and more red. He looked down as he nodded and faked a smile. What were they talking about?

After Eric paid, he left. Walked straight out the door with his plate in hand. His food would be frozen by the time he’d make it back to his room. Maybe he couldn’t stand to see me with another guy? No.

Mike paid and placed my food in front of me. “Looks yummy, and I’d love to have some, but I’m on my way back to my apartment. Maybe you could come over some time. I’d like that.” Then he leaned down and kissed my mouth. It took a second to register in my mind, but then it wasn’t so bad. He pulled back, and, without thinking about it, I batted my eyelashes at him.

In a bold moment, I smiled and leaned toward him. He got the message pretty quickly, because he instantly leaned back in and kissed me passionately. It was a short kiss, meant to leave me wanting more. “I’ll call you soon, chicky.”

1205

Elijah slowly led our horse through the stream and the dark wilderness paths. He tried to keep the horse moving as quietly as possible. He feared that the guards would hear us or see our tracks. He was frightened. I felt bad for my little brother. He had always lived such a safe, sheltered life. In our village, everyone knew him and loved him. The women would talk of how kind he was, the girls would talk of their hopes to marry him someday, and the children would say he was entertaining and kind to them. I felt so bad that he found himself so involved in my problems. I would never wish any of this situation on him. He should have stayed home, tended the animals, grown up and felt the safety of the hearth. But this could change everything. He had helped the king’s prisoner to escape. He had helped his sister, who had never done anything good to deserve it. I wanted to tell Elijah all this, but I knew he would argue the point, telling me I did deserve to be helped, and so much more. He was too kind for his own good.