Everything Changes (4 page)

June
18, 1997

That last week of school was chaotic as I spent
most of my time finishing finals and then training Mia. That proved to be a
task. Just like
Addy
and me, she wanted to watch the
mechanics instead of doing actual work.

Mia turned out to be perfect for the job, though,
as long as we kept Ben in the shop and out of the office.

The rest of that week was spent deciding on
whether or not to grow some balls and talk to Parker...until I ran into him. I
literally
ran into him the day before we were set to leave. Up until that point,
Addy
had been doing all the speaking on my part.

Apparently, I was taking lessons from Parker on
communication.

After locking up the office for the night, I came
around the corner and ran right into him. The helmet he held fell to the ground
as did my purse.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry,” I apologized, trying
to steady my footing by resting my hands against the metal siding of the shop.
That was when his smell rushed my senses. He smelled like outdoors: sunshine,
dirt, and fresh air. I spent the next few seconds staring at him, having never
been that close. As pathetic as it sounded, I found myself leaning in trying to
breathe in his scent and closing my eyes in delight.

Picking up his helmet and my purse for me, he
smiled as he rubbed his chest where my head had hit. “It’s okay,” he replied
softy, still smiling.

It wasn’t the first time I had ever looked at
him, but it was the first time I
really
looked at him. He had a boyish
appearance to his six foot frame. Muscular with a defined chest and arms, you
could tell he spent hours manhandling a bike every week. His hair was longer
than I had seen it in the past, chocolate strands grazing his thick lashes that
framed his eyes.

Watching him for a moment, my legs started to
wobble and I almost began drooling. In attempt to control myself, I lowered my
eyes and rested my gaze on his hands.

Sweet
Jesus, he had nice hands.

Before I could make a fool of myself any more, I
started to walk away, completely embarrassed that I rammed him with my head.

Rammed
him?

I only made it about a foot before he sighed.

“So…” he began but stopped suddenly when I looked
at him.

“What?” I wanted to say more but I was
speechless.

As he stared at me, I wondered if he thought
there might be something mentally wrong with me. I could never form complete
sentences if he was around. Surely, that would be an indication I wasn’t all
there.

“Oh…uh…” he mumbled, avoiding my eyes. His hands
fumbled with the goggles attached to his helmet. It made me feel slightly
better that he couldn’t form his words either. “Are you still coming with us?”

My eyes went to my feet as well, mentally telling
myself not to say anything stupid. “Yeah, is that okay?”

An outsider to this conversation would have
laughed at how challenging speaking to each other seemed to be for us.

His only answer was a warm smile.

“That’s a yes?” It was painful to carry on a
conversation like that but somehow we did.

He nodded running his hand down a light stubble
that shadowed his jaw, his blue eyes twinkling. “You ready to leave tomorrow?”

I used his response and nodded instead of
actually speaking.

“See you tomorrow then,” he said over his
shoulder as he walked towards his truck.

I just stood there, strangely reluctant to leave.
I enjoyed talking to him in a weird and thrilling way that made me want to fall
harder for him. I watched him walk back to his truck in all his tall, athletic
grace, my eyes lingering on his ass.

Tossing his helmet next to him in the passenger
seat, he got in and drove away without another glance.

I watched the black Chevy until the taillights
were no longer visible, and then I breathed.

It took me a good five minutes to get the courage
to walk again after he spoke to me.

I couldn’t help but get excited because we had
actually talked, but I was also a little repulsed at how enthusiastic I was
about that trip to Moab.

After having an hour-long conversation with
Addy
that night, I relaxed enough to finish packing my
clothes and riding gear for our trip. Justin picked up my bike earlier in the
week, so now all I needed to do was get my clothes ready. Sometime before ten,
I had two bags packed and sitting outside my bedroom door. That was when it hit
me for the first time. I was going on summer break with the boy that I had a
crush on. What would happen? Would I fall harder for him? Would we kiss? Would
we do more? The nerves, the excitement, the unknown were almost too much.

Before I went to bed that night, Rick came into
my room to, I assumed, lay down the road rules. I was wrong as usual when it
came to him.

I didn’t know my real dad. He died before I was
born, so Rick was all I knew and loved. He and my mom met when I was two weeks
old. She needed her car repaired and the rest was history.

To me, he was my real dad, and he never gave me a
reason to think anything less. It was only natural that he would be concerned
about his only daughter going on a road trip with two boys she barely knew.

“Listen, Rowan.” He sat down on the edge of my
bed, staring at his calloused hands that provided a roof over our head and food
on the table. Rick worked hard and his fingers and tired eyes could attest to
that. Sometimes, I wondered if he ever had a time for himself, a moment to step
back. Something told me he never had. “I know you’re a smart girl, just be
careful.”

“I will.”

“I don’t mean with riding either.” He looked at
me with a smile. “I mean with Parker.”

I panicked. “What are you talking about, Dad? I’m
not…
with him
.”

He chuckled lightly, but the concern wasn’t
absent from his tone. “I know a thing or two about being a seventeen-year-old
boy. Neither one of you have to be with each other to get into trouble. Just
think before you jump.”

“Are you trying to talk to me about suicide?” I
teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“No, I’m talking about boys, Rowan.”

“Nice advice…” I cackled. “Think before you jump?
Dad, who gives advice like that?”

He slapped at my shoulder. “Stop that. It’s the
only thing I could think of. Just be careful, okay?” I nodded and he stood
adjusting his hat. “I know you will make smart decisions. You always do, kid.”

“Thanks.”

Before he left, he handed me an envelope with a
wide grin. “Have fun.”

I peeked inside to see money, lots of money.
“What’s all this?” There had to be nearly a thousand dollars in that envelope.
It was more money than I’d ever seen before. For a moment, I was a little
concerned that he didn’t have that kind of money to give me.

“It’s your bonus.”

“Bonus? Wow. Dad, you didn’t have to do that.” I
knew his shop struggled at times. I saw the invoices coming in and understood
that we weren’t made of money.

“Rowan, if anyone deserves to go and have a good
time, it’s you. Enjoy yourself.”

“Wow,” I repeated, swallowing hard, my eyes
getting wider as my fingertips touched the edges of the money. “Thanks, Dad.
Did
Addy
get one too?”

Addy
was in
the same situation. Mia struggled to provide everything she could for
Addy
and her working helped pay the bills sometimes.

“Yeah, I gave it to her before she left but asked
her not to tell you. I wanted to personally give it to you and see that
excitement I see right now. It’s a good feeling seeing that smile.”

Moving from the bed, I reached up and hugged him
as tight as my scrawny arms could. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome. Be careful out there, and if
there is ever a time where you don’t feel comfortable…on a trail…don’t do it.”

He wasn’t talking about a trail and I knew it.

“I won’t,” I said, going with it anyway.

“I know.” He gave another smile that touched his
hazel eyes this time. “Like I said, you’re a smart girl.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about his confidence in
me. What if I wasn’t smart? And what if I didn’t
want
to be smart?

I didn’t like all the trust he had in me at
times. It made me feel like he was setting me up for early disappointment.

Sarah, my crazy mother, knocked on my door
shortly after my dad left holding a brand new blender.

“What’s that?” I asked skeptically, eying the
blender.

You needed to be skeptical when my mom gave you
presents. Once she gave me a gallon of gasoline because she said she had a
dream that I set a car on fire. She wanted me to be prepared and have enough
gas for such a task. What kind of mother did that?

Well, mine does. If anything, it showed just how
much she really cared, crazy or not. I almost asked when she handed me the gas
if I was to plot a murder, would she would buy the gun? Afraid of her answer, I
left that one alone.

She handed me the new blender with a bright
smile. “It’s a graduation gift. I figured if you were moving away, you needed a
blender.” Her smile was genuine, and I had to smile myself.

I wasn’t graduating, nor was I moving away, but
it was a sweet gesture. Pushing her dark chocolate curls from her face, I
touched the scar on her cheek and grinned at her crazy logic. “Thanks, Mom.”

I looked like a spitting image of my mother with
loose brown curls that cascaded down the middle of my back, green eyes, and
olive skin. I tanned well and most people thought I was Hispanic, but I wasn’t,
just good skin.

“No problem.” She was completely lost in all
this. “Now, you have a good time in Florida.” It also wasn’t lost on me that
her
idea of a good time and
mine
were entirely different.

It took me forever to get to sleep that night. My
mind kept replaying images of Parker and our conversation. Then, in fear, I
would contemplate not going. Then I was back to going and thinking of all the
naughty things I could do to Parker if we were alone. And then, scared again, I
was back to not going.

June
19, 1997

The next morning,
Addy
and I had plans to meet at the shop and then head out from there with Justin
and Parker. All my tossing and turning had me contemplating not going, but in
the end
Addy
wasn’t having it and neither were my
parents.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I go?” I asked my
dad when we pulled into the gravel parking lot behind the shop where everyone
was waiting.

He gave a nod but kept any emotion from his
response. It was hard on him. “I’m sure, but I will be chatting with those boys
about my Rick Rules.”

I had to laugh. He had so many of these
Rick Rules
that I lost
track.

Addy
was already there by the time we arrived,
standing shyly next to Justin. My dad stayed and talked with Justin and Parker
for a moment before leaving, and I briefly wondered if he was going above the
Rick
Rules
and trying to scare them with some kind of I-own-a-gun speech.
 
He was big on putting the fear of God in any
boy I showed interest in, but he also smiled a lot while talking to the O’Neil
boys, so I thought this particular speech might have been a little different.

“I’ll call you when we get there,” I said, trying
to ease the worry from my dad’s face.

“Good,” he said, giving me a wink. “Take care of
yourself.”

“Uh…take care of Mom,” I told him, hugging him
tightly.

He laughed, returning the hug. “I got that
handled. I got her favorite ice cream and the box set of
N.Y.P.D. Blue
.
I think we’re good.” If anything, he knew how to take care of my mom, and I
appreciated that. She needed special care and lots of love, both of which he
provided.

My dad said goodbye but didn’t offer any more of
his advice.

When he drove away, I looked over the truck and
trailer parked to the side of the shop. The bikes were loaded in the back of
the O’Neil’s trailer. Parker’s Chevy was loaded with coolers, tents, and bags.
All we had to do was get in.

Standing in a circle staring at each other, we
were ready to go. Only problem was, none of us were moving. We just stood there
staring at each other.

“Well,” Justin began, looking at the map and
tipping his head towards
Addy
who was still standing
beside him. “I have the trip planned out for the most part.
Addy
has a few places she wants to stop at as well.”

“I was thinking maybe we could stop in Olympia
and eat,”
Addy
said, standing beside me now, her
hands buried in the pockets of her hooded sweatshirt. “That way we can finalize
our route an all...”