Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) (19 page)

“Dr. Gardner is on his way in with some test results.”

The fear that had eased only moments before flooded back. Catherine’s hands shook and she forced herself to keep hold of the cup instead of letting it fall. The normal morning sounds of a hospital floor faded, replaced by a loud buzzing in her ears.

Don’t overreact. Take it easy. He’s fine. He’ll be fine.
Catherine repeated the words over and over until they became an echo, until she could hear them whispered in her ear. Then she realized they
were
being whispered in her ear.

Nathan was behind her, his hand a reassuring warmth on her shoulder. Catherine swayed and nearly leaned into him, seeking his reassurance, but stopped herself. She couldn’t fall to pieces, not now, not when she needed to be strong. His hand dropped from her shoulder when Dr. Gardner entered the room.

An elderly man with a slight build and tufts of white hair, he was the best around. That knowledge did little to ease her anxiety as he closed the distance between them, his footsteps soft against the tiled floor. She studied his lined face, searching for a clue about what he had to say and finding none.

The noise in the room ceased as Dr. Gardner quietly studied their faces. His gaze finally rested on Catherine’s, searching. She clamped her mouth shut and squared her shoulders, preparing to hear the worst. A hand folded around hers and she grasped it tightly, feeling strength flow into her from the touch.

Dr. Gardner raised one bushy brow in her direction as a smile split his lined face. “Now, Catherine, really. Do I look like the specter of death to you?” Her breath hitched and she nearly choked at his words. “Matty is fine. His lungs are clearing, and he should be ready to go home tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank God,” she murmured in a rush. Catherine swayed and would have fallen if not for Nathan behind her, supporting her. She closed her eyes and leaned into him. “Oh, thank God.”

“I expect he may have had something to do with it,” Dr. Gardner said with a slight chuckle. He stepped closer and squeezed her shoulder before returning to Matty’s chart. “We’ll keep an eye on him for the next few hours, run a few more tests, but likely he’ll be home tomorrow, nearly good as new.”

“Will there be complications? The cancer…”

“Catherine, his cancer is gone and his immune system is stronger than ever. But to ease your mind, yes, we ran other tests. Except for the pneumonia, he’s a strong, healthy boy. He’s fine.” He reached out and squeezed her shoulder again then stepped away, assessing her. His glance drifted to Nathan before he spoke again. “In the meantime, you need to rest. Go home and get some sleep. Come back later. Doctor’s orders.”

Catherine mumbled something as the doctor left. Quiet settled over the room, so different from the tense silence that had hovered over them earlier. Brian let out a deep breath and offered a wavering smile.

“I knew it would be good news.” His hoarse voice betrayed him and Catherine gave him a look saying she didn’t believe him, then stepped away from Nathan to hug Brian.

“Thank you, Brian, but I know better.” Brian patted her back awkwardly before she turned to face Nathan. There were so many things she needed to say. She swallowed and offered him a nervous smile, taking a step toward him. The blank expression on his face stopped her; the look of fear in his eyes confused her.

“Nathan?”

“Hmm?” He shook his head as if pulling himself from a daze and stared at her with unfocused watery eyes. She watched several unnamed emotions flash through the amber depths before a forced grin appeared on his face. “I’m glad everything’s okay.” The pained grin quickly disappeared and he made a show of looking at his watch. “I, um, I need to get going. Tell Matty I’ll catch up with him later.”

Catherine stared after him as he walked out the door, not understanding his sudden departure. She may have called his name, but she wasn’t sure. The only thing she knew for certain was that he was gone. She took a step forward then stopped, feeling a sense of déjà vu as she stared at the closed door. This had happened once before, not so long ago, when she had asked him to leave, when she had denied what was between them.

It had been a mistake then, she knew that now. A mistake on her part, born out of pride and fear. Pride, because she didn’t want to admit she needed someone. Fear, because she didn’t want to take the chance of being hurt or rejected.

Catherine turned and stared at Matty, sleeping peacefully, breathing easily. Her son, who had been hurt in so many ways but never let it stop him. Her son, who knew the consequences of taking chances but wasn’t afraid to take them anyway.

A smile crossed her face as she stepped closer to the bed and smoothed back the hair on his forehead. Tears welled in her eyes as a small smile fluttered on his lips in his sleep, and she leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his cheek.

Catherine faced Brian, who was looking at her in bewilderment. “Will you stay with Matty in case he wakes up?”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago. I’m going to take a chance.”

Nathan yanked open the center storage console and dug through it, searching for his sunglasses. Papers, CDs and assorted junk spilled out, but no sunglasses. He balled a fist and slammed it on the steering wheel.

“Dammit!” He hit the steering wheel again then slumped back in the seat, drained. This had nothing to do with not being able to find his sunglasses and he knew it. He took a deep breath, hoping to calm his racing heart. It didn’t work.

He was scared, beyond scared. Seeing Matty upstairs, helpless, the fear that had gripped him before the doctor had said everything was fine. A shudder went through him. At least Matty was going to be okay.

No parent should ever have to go through that kind of fear and pain. Especially alone. But Catherine wasn’t alone. She had Brian to lean on, to support her if she needed it.

A tightness gripped him beneath the breastbone and he rubbed at it painfully, trying to ease it, chalking it up to heartburn from that awful coffee. The excuse rang false to his own mind, but the truth sounded so shallow.

He had wanted Catherine to lean on him, to take the support he had offered. He had wanted to share his own fear with her, tell her he understood and was there for her. There had been a minute when they were supporting each other and drawing from each other’s strength.

That moment disappeared when she went to Brian. He hadn’t heard what she said to him, was still too shaken with relief from the good news to pay attention to much else besides keeping his own emotions in check.

Nathan knew they were friends, that they had been together through so much; there was nothing wrong with friends comforting friends. But the reality that she would never need him, that there was no place in her life for him, disappointed him.

He rubbed at his chest again. Disappointed, hell. Admit it, he thought. You were hurt, still are. And now he was sounding like a jealous fool, for crying out loud. The only thing that mattered was Matty, and the fact that he was fine.

Nathan blinked his eyes against the gritty film that covered them. When that didn’t work, he rubbed them with his thumbs, pushing in until white dots flashed across his closed lids. He must be more tired than he thought, if his eyes were watering and itching so much.

So what the hell was he doing, still sitting in the emergency room parking lot? He shook his head and jammed the keys in the ignition, hit the gas pedal too hard. He ran his hands across his face and through his hair then put the truck in Reverse. He needed to go home, get back to reality, to figure out what the hell he was going to do after the season ended.

A shadow to his left caught his attention a split second before he heard a loud rap on the driver’s window. The noise startled him more than it should have, enough that if the truck had been a stick shift, it would have stalled. Instead, the truck eased back an inch before he slammed it into Park with a curse. He turned and saw Catherine staring at him through the window, a look of worry on her face. His heart raced even faster as he hit the button and lowered the window.

“What is it? Did something happen to Matty? Is he okay?” He couldn’t control the frantic tone in his voice. Catherine’s brows drew together then lifted in something that looked like astonishment. One corner of her mouth tilted upward and Nathan got the impression she found something amusing.

“Nothing’s wrong with Matty.”

“Then what is it? And what the hell is so funny? How can you even laugh after everything…” Nathan stopped midsentence, noticing his voice was too loud. Too close to revealing his own fears from the night before. Her mouth twitched again before she stepped away from the truck and studied it.

“I didn’t know you had a Suburban.”

“I just bought it.” Again Catherine’s mouth seemed inclined to lift into a smile before she carefully smoothed her face into a blank expression. Nathan wondered if maybe the stress had been too much for her. “Are you okay? Is there something you wanted?”

“You just bought it? Why?”

Because his car had been too small for more than two people, he thought. But he wasn’t about to tell her that, not when it revealed so much. “Catherine, was there something you wanted? Because if there isn’t, I need to leave.”

“Um, yeah. I, uh…” Her voice drifted off as she stepped closer to the truck, resting her hands on the door and gripping the frame so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Her eyes darted left then right, looking around. Nathan swallowed again, sensing that something wasn’t right, that something was about to happen. He turned away from Catherine and stared out the windshield, focusing on the glare reflecting off the hood of the car parked in front of him.

“Listen, thank you for being here last night. I didn’t expect, I mean, I thought you might, but I wasn’t sure…”

“I told you I cared for Matty. Did you think I was lying?”

“No. But thank you.”

“Sure. No problem. Was that it? Because if it was, you could have waited to tell me.”

“I know, but I wanted…” Catherine paused and took a deep breath, letting it out in a rush so heavy Nathan could feel its warmth against the bare skin of his arm. He shot a quick glance in her direction then just as quickly looked away. Her face was red and her teeth pulled at her lower lip, sending unwanted thoughts and memories through his mind. “This isn’t easy….”

“So then maybe you’d better wait,” Nathan suggested, thinking he should probably make himself scarce. Whatever she wanted to say couldn’t be good for him if she was this nervous about it.

“No, I can’t wait. I’ve waited too long already.” She took another deep breath, then another, stepping away from the truck as she did. Nathan shot her a quick glance, wondering if she was hyperventilating or something. Her brown eyes were teary when they met his and he felt something like a punch under his breastbone again. He clamped his jaw shut, preparing for the final blow.

“I love you, Nathan. I just wanted you to know that.”

The words echoed in the stillness around Nathan. He sat in the truck, feeling as if he had just been run over by a freight train, wondering if he had understood what she said.

I love you.

A full thirty seconds went by before he realized he hadn’t been hearing things, a full thirty seconds for him to digest her words. The pressure in his chest escalated before the pain exploded, turning into something…warm. Catherine loved him. Now what?

Five seconds passed before he allowed himself to smile, and another five before he finally let himself admit he loved her back. Hell, who was he kidding? He had loved her months ago, he just hadn’t been able to put a name on it. She loved him.

So where the hell did she go?

Nathan turned around in the seat just in time to see Catherine walk through the doors leading to the emergency room. He threw the door open, not caring when it slammed into the car next to him and left a dent, not caring that it didn’t close all the way when he pushed against it, not caring that the keys were still in the ignition and the motor was still running.

He dashed across the parking lot, nearly colliding with a car that was pulling in. He ignored the blaring horn and kept going, twisting sideways to go through the sliding doors before they opened all the way. People were milling around the waiting room and Nathan had to stop, searching for Catherine. He caught a glimpse of her as she turned a corner and he raced after her.

“Catherine, wait!” He rounded another corner and saw Catherine swiping her badge through a reader. A sign on the door read
Authorized Personnel Only.
“Catherine!”

She finally heard him. Turning around, her damp eyes widened in surprise. Nathan quickened his pace, shortening the distance between them until he could reach out and gently place his hands on her shoulders.

“Catherine, did you say what I thought you said?”

“I, uh…”

“That’s what I thought.” He took a deep breath and pulled her closer. “I love you, too.”

She looked up at him, her wide eyes shimmering with moisture. Her lower lip started to tremble. “Wh-what?”

“I love you.” He lowered his head and briefly touched her lips. “I love you, Catherine. I want to be with you. And with Matty. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Nathan…” Her voice trailed off as a tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped it away and pressed his forehead against hers, smiling as she reached up and wiped his own cheek. “I love you. But I’m scared. I’ve never taken a chance like this before.”

“I think that’s what it’s all about, taking the chances together. I love you, Catherine.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead then pulled back, gripping her hands firmly in his own. “Are you up to taking a chance?”

Catherine stared up at him, her eyes shimmering. “I am if it’s with you.”

ISBN: 9781426800337

FINDING DR. RIGHT

Copyright © 2007 by Elizabeth Belbot Kamps

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

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