Finding Her Way (21 page)

Jerrica smiled watching Madison’s almost childlike expression of awe. They sat in silence while devouring brunch.

“I think we should talk. I feel I need to explain myself to you. I’m ready to answer your questions from last night,” Jerrica commented finally.

Madison wanted to look at her, but fear prevented her from completing that act. Both hands tightly wrapped around her cup, to the cat’s disappointment. Madison waited anxiously for Jerrica to continue.

“I don’t want this to be an uncomfortable situation between us,” said Jerrica as she stretched out her legs onto the coffee table. “I want us to be honest and open with one another.”

Madison’s eyes focused on the floor as she answered in a whisper. “After what happened between us this morning, I thought we could leave all that behind and move forward.”

Jerrica tilted her head to look at Madison, but her hair covered the side of her face.

“That’s exactly why we need to talk. If there is to be any future for us, I don’t want any doubts or misgivings about that night to stand silently between us,” Jerrica said as she pushed the hair back from Madison’s face.

Holding onto the phrase,
any future for us
, Madison tilted her head to look into Jerrica’s tender eyes.

“Since the time I saw you that first day in the ladies room, I knew something was different about you. I couldn’t seem to concentrate when you were near. I found myself desperately trying not to think about you and the way you took my breath away from just seeing you across the room. Then after the night we spent together, I knew things would be different,” she paused to choose her words carefully. “I was frightened of you and the unfamiliar feelings you were creating deep inside of me. I didn’t know what all these new emotions meant because I’ve never felt this way before, not with anyone. When I left that morning, I knew I had made us different. I knew I was different somehow. It took a good friend to make me realize what I was feeling. I’ve been hurt in the past and what you were offering, honesty and love, terrified me,” she finished, settling her hands on her lap.

Madison leaned forward to look at Jerrica’s features as tears filled the green eyes.

“My past isn’t clear of mistakes, Madison. I’m no angel and will never claim to be. I’ve been through a few failed relationships in my life. I was even married once,” she offered, taking in a deep breath, “to a man.”

Jerrica watched the confusion cross Madison’s expression. “My first same-sex relationship was with a closeted lesbian about a year or so ago.”

Jerrica looked out the window, lost in pain filled memories. An unexpected warmth covered her hands, making her looked down into her lap. A smile displayed on her face as she entwined Madison’s hand with hers.

“I want to be honest with you. I thought at one time I was in love.”

“Thought?” Madison replied softly.

“I know now that I mistook my sudden freedom and lust-filled intentions for love.”

“Are you sure it’s love this time?” Madison asked, with some hesitation in her voice.

Jerrica pondered the question briefly. Lifting her dark green eyes to meet the inquiring brown ones, she answered, “I have never felt for her what I feel for you. I left that night out of fear. I was a coward and should have stayed. I have wasted so much time living in fear.”

Madison leaned in, brushing her lips against Jerrica’s. “I love you,” she managed to whisper as she softly trailed kisses on her face. She placed light kisses on her cheek, down to her jawline, burying her face in the scent of her neck.

Jerrica felt a chill run down her spine as Madison kissed and nipped her neck. Slanting her mouth to her ear, Jerrica spoke seductively. “Call in tomorrow, stay with me another day.”

Jerrica felt a gentle bite on the base of her neck.

Madison licked her way to her ear whispering. “I was hoping you would ask,”

She pulled back to look into Jerrica’s eyes.

The cat jumped off her lap as Madison followed Jerrica’s body as she lay back on the couch.

Jerrica slid her hand into the thick black hair as Madison eased on top of her. “I would have begged you to stay if I needed to,” she purred, in a low throaty voice.

Chapter Fourteen

A dull ache slowly woke Jerrica from her slumber. The sensation was coming from her left arm that was cradling Madison’s head. Having spent the afternoon enjoying the pleasures of a new lover’s touch, they had fallen asleep tangled into one another on the sofa. She smiled as she watched Madison sleep, fascinated by this beautiful woman she held in her arms.

“What are you smiling at,” Madison said as she slowly opened her eyes.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“I felt your breathing change, so I knew you were awake. So tell me about the smile?”

“I was thinking to myself, how fortunate I am to have such an incredible woman in my arms.”

Madison moved in close enough so that she was almost touching Jerrica’s lips. “I think I’m the one who is fortunate,” she breathed as she pulled away.

Anticipating a kiss, Jerrica felt disappointed when it didn’t come to fruition. Jerrica sighed as she watched Madison push back from her.

“I’m afraid if we don’t move soon, I won’t be able to move my lower extremities,” she explained staring into Jerrica’s pouting face.

A smile quickly replaced the pout. “I know what you mean. I can no longer feel my fingertips on my left hand.”

They both laughed heartily at the comical state they found themselves in. With helping hands, Jerrica was able to get herself into a sitting position. Once sitting, she stretched her upper body. She rubbed her arm first to get the sleepy numbness to go away.
 

Madison slowly stretched as her feet hit the floor. Looking up, she giggled as she noticed Jerrica was watching her.

Tossing Madison her clothes, Jerrica finished getting her wrinkled clothing on. “I need to go to the store,” Jerrica announced as Madison moved to a standing position, sliding her own sweats on, “I haven’t been shopping yet this week, and I don’t have anything suitable for us to eat. I only need to pick up a couple days’ worth of groceries.”

Placing her hand in Jerrica’s Madison spoke, “We can go together. Let me buy you supper. I’ll cook for you.”

“Fine, you can cook supper only if I can cook breakfast,” Jerrica said with a twinkle in her eye.

Madison felt a rush of heat blaze inside her at the thought of spending the whole night in the same bed. Clearing her throat she answered her. “Deal!”

†

The unfamiliar car parked in the driveway suddenly changed her plans. Circling back, she found an empty parking spot on the street where she could see the townhouse, but not be seen by the inhabitants. She had a perfect view of the front of the house. It was a waiting game now.

An hour or more had passed when unexpectedly two figures emerged from the house. Even though the sun was setting, one form was easily recognized, the second was new to her. Their hands were entwined, shoulders almost touching and their playful body language was easy to read as they walked to the waiting vehicle. They were lovers. Proving this, the couple exchanged a passionate kiss. Their bodies pressed tightly together, hands reaching under material to touch soft curves.

The strong hands of the observer held the steering wheel tight, in frustration, watching the intimate scene unfold. Reluctant to let go of one another, the two parted and entered the vehicle on either side. They backed out of the driveway, heading in the direction of town, unaware someone was watching their interactions.

Once the taillights were out of sight, the heartache hit hard, causing the watcher to raise both hands, clutching her chest when the pain rushed through her. Time continued to move forward as the gasping for air, slowly transitioned into even breaths and muscles relaxing. Staring into the light of evening, the reality of the situation came into completion, causing tears to escape from the beautiful blue eyes.

“I’ve lost her,” Devin whispered into the air for no one to hear.

†

The supper was cooked to perfection, each enjoying the long missed home cooked meal. The conversation was light during the meal, simply wanting to enjoy one another’s company. A hand reached out to grab Jerrica’s wrist as she stood to bring her dish to the kitchen.

Jerrica looked down at the warm hand touching her, to the worried expression on her lover’s face. “What’s wrong?” Jerrica asked, tilting her head.

“I’m afraid…I’m afraid that this, what is happening between us isn’t real, that it’s just a fantasy. That I’m going to wake up and find out I dreamt the whole thing.” Madison lowered her eyes in sadness.

Placing the plate on the table, Jerrica reached out cupping Madison’s chin in her hand. Gently lifting her face so their eyes could meet, she moved in closer to whisper. “Oh, baby, there is no reason to be afraid. What is happening between us is very real.”

Brushing stray hairs from Madison’s face, Jerrica continued. “There is no doubt that I want you. My body aches to have you touch me. But it’s more than that, way more…” Jerrica leaned in, lightly brushing her lips across Madison’s lips, teasing her. Jerrica moaned, pressing her lips firmer, welcoming Madison’s sleek tongue. Jerrica could feel the passion rushing to her core as Madison tried to get up.

Jerrica moved away, breaking their physical contact and starting toward the kitchen.

Madison fell back into her chair, gasping. She had seen Jerrica’s mouth curl up into a devilish grin before she turned to leave the room. “Are you teasing me, Ms. Kerrison?”

Jerrica smiled at herself as she placed the plate in the dishwasher. She spun around in time to see Madison enter the kitchen with her plate. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Ms. Jeffery.” Her eyes twinkled as Madison reached around her to place her dishes on the counter.
 

Bodies now touching, a surge of warmth rushed across her as she felt Madison’s lips nipping her ear. “I can play this game, too,” she said, beginning an assault of kisses on her welcoming neck.

The trail Madison’s lips were leaving on Jerrica’s skin, made her shudder. Jerrica placed her palms on each side of Madison’s face as her kisses where traveling down between her breasts.

“Uh, you need to stop or I won’t be responsible for my actions,” she said trying to catch her breath, as she lifted Madison’s face.

“That’s a problem?”

“I was hoping we could spend some time cuddling and maybe talking.”

Madison’s grin widened, but Jerrica continued. “I mean mostly talking. We really don’t know one another that well. What’s your favorite color, book, and movie…music? What were you like growing up? Whatever you feel you want to share.”

Jerrica leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Madison’s forehead as she removed her hands.

“You pick a fresh bottle of wine. I’ll grab the glasses from the table and I’ll meet you in the living room,” replied Madison.

Jerrica nodded in agreement and they both went about completing their tasks. Within moments, they were both sitting on the couch. The darkness of evening had set in, so Jerrica closed the wall of curtains. Handing her the wine, she lifted Madison’s other arm behind her head. She cuddled her head on a soft shoulder.

Madison lightly kissed the top of Jerrica’s head. “Tell me about Jerrica….”

Jerrica inhaled slowly and began. She shared her stories of growing up in New Hampshire, her marriage and the time spent after the separation at Lauren’s cabin. Jerrica felt heartsick as she omitted the abuse she endured by his hands. She revealed very little of her relationship with the closeted lesbian. At that moment, she wasn’t ready to explain the complex connection between Devin and herself.

Jerrica casually sipped wine, snuggling closer. When she finished, she placed her glass on the table, snuggling back into what was becoming her favorite spot, wrapping her arm around her lover’s waist. The room fell quiet as several minutes passed by. Jerrica sat patiently before tilting her head to look into Madison’s face. Gazing into complicated eyes, Jerrica shyly smiled, waiting for Madison to speak.

With a sharp intake of air, Madison began an edited version of her life. Skipping past most of her childhood, the college years, she quickly went through her short job history and working for Olivia. She had left out so many personal details that she felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. Haunted by her own private demons, Madison surmised if she couldn’t face them herself, she couldn’t share them either.

Jerrica heard a tone in Madison’s voice she had never heard before and felt the muscles involuntarily tense in her shoulder as she spoke. Jerrica could tell something was amiss, but didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Madison took a gulp of wine, relieved that she had gotten through her tale. They sat for a long time just holding one another. Feeling the arm around her waist tighten, Madison smiled with contentment.

Turning, Jerrica maneuvered so she was straddling Madison’s lap.

“You seem to like this being on top position,” Madison said, grinning.

Jerrica’s eyes were sparkling as she started to tickle Madison. Jerrica roared with laughter as Madison tried to wiggle out from under her captive hands.

“Oh, you think this is funny, do you,” Madison snickered as she reached up quickly to grab at Jerrica.

Knowing she was about to lose this battle, Jerrica bolted to a standing position, hopped backward over the coffee table, putting escaping distance between them.

Surprise came and left quickly as Madison realized by the space between them that Jerrica was trying to flee.

Not waiting for Madison to get the best of her, Jerrica sprinted toward the stairway giggling and disappeared.

Rounding the couch quickly, Madison chased after her quarry toward the master bedroom. Where else could Jerrica run to?

“You’ll never catch me,” she bellowed, running into her room laughing.
 

Sprinting into the room, Madison spotted her bounty jockeying on the other side of the bed, chuckling at her.

The moment Jerrica dashed to her left toward the bathroom Madison vaulted over the bed. Grasping the bottom of Jerrica’s shirt, Madison yanked the material toward her.

The unexpected shift in motion caused Jerrica to lose her balance as the momentum of her body swung her around in a circle.

Capturing her in a tight embrace, Madison swiftly tossed both of them on the bed. She successfully secured Jerrica’s hands above her head and pinned the rest of her body with her own. They both laughed heartily as they lay pressed against one another. Lowering her head into the warm curve of Jerrica’s neck, she could feel her pulse rapidly beating. Trying to calm her own heartbeat, Madison breathed in deeply. The combination of Jerrica’s scent and her light recognizable perfume assaulted her senses, and she growled softly.

Trying to wiggle from her confines, Jerrica froze when she heard the sweet noise.

Madison felt Jerrica stiffen and quickly lifted her head in bewilderment. As their eyes met, Madison could see her own desire reflected in Jerrica’s eyes. They lay motionless, falling deeper into one another. Her tight grip on a pair of wrists loosened as she fell farther into those green pools.
 

Lightly brushing Madison’s cheek with her fingertips, Jerrica slid her hand into the thick black hair. Clutching the hair in her fist, she pulled Madison toward her. Their lips met in a fevered hunger, their appetite for one another growing rapidly. Hands were everywhere, pulling clothing up and off, touching scorching skin. Rapture came quickly and was brutally intense, the two taking the journey together as one.

When they floated back to earth, Madison half lay on Jerrica, her head resting on her shoulder. She could hear the rapid heartbeat under her ear and smiled with satisfaction, not only physically, but emotionally as well.

Jerrica could feel the brisk rise and fall of Madison’s chest slowly decrease as time slipped by. She softly scratched up and down Madison’s back, sighing peacefully. She brushed the moist, tousled hair off Madison’s face as she tilted to the side to look at her.

“That was amazing,” she said, looking into her half closed brown eyes.

Madison’s smile grew wider, “Maybe next time we’ll take our time?”

Jerrica raised an eyebrow at the assumption. She kissed her on the forehead. Pulling back, she whispered jokingly. “You are presuming there will be a next time.”

Madison used her forearms to position herself above Jerrica. With a cat like grin, Madison answered. “I presume nothing. I love you and I’m not going anywhere, so there will be plenty of time for more of …this….” Lowering her head she took Jerrica’s lips in a deep kiss.

Enjoying the newness of love, they spent the rest of the night in discovery, awakening not only the body’s senses, but also their souls. Love wrapped itself around them like a familiar blanket, clinging to one another and holding onto the profound love they felt.

With dawn rapidly approaching, their bodies exhausted with satisfaction, they finally drifted into a deep slumber, wrapped in one another’s embrace and love.