Finding My Forever (27 page)

I sit in the windowsill watching the small vigil form by the bus. They must be the fans that saw the shooting happen. It won’t be long before the press is outside and the bus is surrounded. Gary said the detective is coming by today; he needs my statement. I have to relive the nightmare. I have to recall every second of what I remember from last night as it unfolded, in slow motion, right before my eyes. The only thing I want to know is, where’s Damien?

The door opens slowly and the nurse, a much nicer one, waves me over. I slide off the windowsill carefully and walk to her. She holds the door open for me to follow her out. I look at Jimmy and back at her and she knows. She places her hand on my shoulder and leads me to the window where I can still see him.

Months ago, I wouldn’t be standing here. I’d be at home, taking care of the kids if this had happened. But he knew… he knew that we were having a baby and wasn’t going to take no for an answer when he asked me to marry him. The whole time during the ceremony I thought he was doing it so I wouldn’t be alone, but that wasn’t the case. He did it because he wants us to be a family.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to give you this.” She hands me Little One’s ultrasound picture. Tears fill my eyes immediately. The nurse rests her hand on my shoulder, giving me the comfort I need. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, but we’ve taken steps to eliminate the issue from arising again.”

“Thank you,” I say with a broken voice.

“I think I have something that will make you smile Mrs. Davis, there are two women out front who are asking for you.”

“Did they say who they are?” My luck is they’re crazed fans trying to get in to see Jimmy.

The nurse fishes a piece of paper out of her pocket. “Katelyn Powell and Josie Westbury, is what I have here. They seem very eager to see you.” She smiles softly. She knows what those two names mean to me.

I know a smile is breaking out across my face and it’s going hand-in-hand with tears. “Thank you, you can let them in.”

She nods and walks away. I look back into the room, Liam and Harrison are still sleeping so I leave them be. I’m going to be selfish and fall into the arms of my best friends before their men come to take them away from me.

Their strides are long and powerful and they race to me once they get around the corner. They drop their bags and pull me into their arms. The definition of a group hug is nothing compared to being held by your two best friends. Words don’t need to be said, the emotion is enough. I can feel their shoulders shake, and hear their labored breathing. We are all sharing the pain and anguish of not knowing.

Josie breaks first. She wipes her eyes before picking up her bag. She leaves me with Katelyn. When I look at her, it’s not pity I see in her eyes, but knowledge. Katelyn’s been here. She knows what I’m going through.

Katelyn takes my hand in hers and holds it to her heart. Not only can I feel her heart beating, but under my palm are her wedding rings. They hang from a necklace the twins bought her for her birthday. She places her hand over mine and closes her eyes.

“I went to see Mason before we got on the plane. Sometimes when I’m there I don’t say anything and other times I talk about the girls, Harrison and Quinn. But this time I told him what you’re going through and asked him to help. No one knows this, but I asked him for a sign that being with Harrison was going to be okay and it started snowing. Right there with me lying on the ground a snowflake fell so I took that and ran with it. As you know, Mason was pretty amazing and he loved you so I know he’s watching over Jimmy.

“I’m here for you, Jenna, whatever you need. You were there for me so many times when I was going through everything. I hate seeing… this type of place with us here.”

“You don’t need to stay, Katelyn, I know it’s hard.”

Katelyn shakes her head. She lets her tears fall. “I need to be here. This is where I’m supposed to be.”

I know it’s hard for her to be here. I know it’s going to be difficult for her to walk into Jimmy’s room and see him looking similar to the way Mason looked. I won’t be upset if she can’t handle this. I hope she knows this.

Katelyn and I walk hand-in-hand back to Jimmy’s room. Josie waits for us by the door. I step in first. Liam and Harrison are still out cold. I think it’s sweet, to see them like this, but once they know the girls are here things will become emotional again.

Josie wraps her arms around Liam, and Katelyn leans down and kisses Harrison on his cheek. Harrison wakes first and moves out of his chair lightning fast. Katelyn is off the ground before she knows what’s hit her. He has his face buried in her neck. Her legs are wrapped around his waist and her hand holds his head to hers. He carries her out of the room. Only when I sit down do I see Liam wake, but he’s not moving. He’s holding onto Josie’s arms while she whispers in his ear.

Liam wasn’t here when we went through this with Mason and neither was Harrison, but they both know the magnitude of what this moment means for Josie and Katelyn.

“What are they saying?” Josie asks.

I shake my head. “They monitor everything. Right now they’re watching for blood clots. And… and I don’t know. I just want him to wake-up so we can go home,” I say, trying to keep my voice from breaking. I pick up Jimmy’s hand and hold it to my lips.

“The press is outside and there are fans in the parking lot. Gary says there isn’t much he can do about it because they’re not disrupting anyone and they’re staying out of the way. There are a lot of flowers and gifts by the bus. Gary said he’ll leave them there until people stop showing up.

“The shooting is all over the news and media channels. A few of the channels are outside. I think they’re waiting for you and Harrison to say something.”

“They can wait,” Liam says sharply.

“Okay, babe. Gary will take care of it.” Josie rubs his shoulders trying to soothe him.

“We brought you some more clothes, Jenna. Katelyn and I will make sure you guys have food and whatever else you need so you only have to leave for a few minutes at a time. What do you need right now?”

“For my husband to wake up.”

“She needs food and a shower.”

I glare at Liam. “No, I don’t.
You
need to go shower.”

“Why are you wearing scrubs?”

Liam looks at Josie over his shoulder before looking back at Jimmy. “I was there. I held him until the paramedics arrived.”

“Oh, Liam,” Josie cries as she wraps her arms around him. “Come on, let’s go and get cleaned up and when we come back, I’ll take Jenna to get some food.”

I open my mouth to balk, but the look Josie gives me shuts my mouth. I don’t want to leave, but the thought of food makes Little One kick. I can’t neglect her. I need her.

As soon as they’re gone I lay my head on Jimmy’s leg. I want to be near his heart, but I can’t touch his chest. It’ll cause him pain and I can’t have that. I hold his hand and take a deep breath.

“Jimmy, I need you to fight and come back to us. Little One and I need you. She wants to know her daddy and I know you want to meet her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have taken me to Bora Bora and asked me to marry you. You made me think you were asking because I was having a baby, when you knew the whole time that we were going to have
our
baby.

“The night of Josie and Liam’s wedding, you were my fantasy come true. I had told the girls that you were on my list, but I never imagined days later it would happen. When you came up to me, I didn’t have any fear. You were someone I wanted. The only one I wanted since I left my other life. I asked myself many times since that night, why you, and the only answer I can come up with is that my body craved you. When I would look at you, I could see myself with you and as much as that scared me, I wanted it. If anyone were to ask me then why I married you my answer would be because you charmed me. You have this way about you, it’s hard to describe.

“That day at the doctor’s when you showed up late and I asked for a divorce, you were adamant that we weren’t getting one. I wanted to walk away, but you wouldn’t let me. I’ve wanted to ask you about Los Angeles, but I haven’t. Half of me doesn’t want to know, but the other half does. But right now I just want you to wake-up and sing to me, sing to our baby because she misses you. I miss you.”

“You must be my daughter-in-law.”

“W
HY
isn’t he awake yet?” I pull at my hair as I pace back and forth. “It’s been two weeks. He made it through the twenty-four hour mark. His brain activity is normal, so why isn’t he awake?” I ask the doctor who’s flashing his pen light in Jimmy’s eyes.

“We aren’t sure?”

“What do you mean, ‘you aren’t sure’? You’re the damn doctor and my husband has been like this for fourteen days.”

“I understand Mrs. Davis,” he says as he pockets his pen. If Jimmy was awake I know he’d say something about the pocket protector. Who wears those anymore?

“No, you don’t understand.” I sigh and rest my head against the wall. I’m frustrated and scared. I don’t understand their nonchalance about all of this. Why isn’t he awake?

Brigette comes over and rubs my shoulders. She’s been a godsend since she arrived. I know I have Liam and Harrison here with me and Katelyn and Josie on the weekends, but Brigette has been a rock for me. When she walked in the door, I didn’t know what to expect.

“You must be my daughter-in-law.”

I turn and look behind me. A woman stands in the doorway, she’s petite, blonde and very well put together. Her dress fits her body perfectly, stopping just above her knees. She screams money. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she’s someone who snuck in here to be close to Jimmy. She doesn’t look like a mom, but she does look like Jimmy. Or rather he looks like her, except with dark hair.

“Hi,” I say, meekly. This is not how I wanted to meet my mother-in-law. She’s supposed to be here a week before Little One arrives and Jimmy is supposed to introduce us. I wipe my hands on my pants and stand on shaky legs. I walk closer to her, blocking her line of sight to Jimmy. I extend my hand. “I’m Jenna.”

She looks at me with an unreadable expression. I feel like a moron standing here like this. She probably hates me. I would, it’s my ex that did this to her son. She drops the oversized bag she is holding and wraps her arms around me, catching me off guard. Her embrace is tight and welcoming. I close my arms around her and hug her back as if we haven’t seen each other in years.

“I’m Brigette,” she says, pulling away. She sets her hands on my shoulders and appraises me. “Well Jimmy said you were beautiful, but he obviously forgot to add that you’re also stunning.” I blush and shake my head.

“I’m gross,” I say. “I think he’d say something else if he saw me right now.”

She shakes her head. “He’d say, ‘hey mum, look at my wife, isn’t she gorgeous?’ And you are. You staying by his bed holding his hand and saying those words to him, makes you the most beautiful woman in the world, in my book.”

“I’m really happy you’re here.”

“So am I, I just wish we were meeting each other in happier circumstances like the birth of my first granddaughter. Can I?” She looks down at my stomach and back at me. Just as quickly as I give my okay, her hands are on my stomach.