Finding My Forever (24 page)

I turn back to the door and step out. Freedom. Peace. Jimmy is standing against a black car with dark tinted windows, much like you see on television. I’m freaking Cinderella right now and my Prince is staring at me. Gawking, really. His legs are crossed at his ankles. His left hand in his pocket. In his right, he holds a sign –
Sweet Lips
– is written in big red letters. I stand back and take in everything about him. I appraise him. Memorize him. My teeth find my lower lip as he shakes his head and smiles. He knows I’m checking him out. His hair stands on his head, the sides shaved. His Mohawk is back, thank God. He laughs and looks down at the ground before looking back at me with those eyes… the eyes that say you know you want me, and he’s right I do. Being pregnant has its perks sexually. I want it, him, all the time. He’s making me insatiable. He’s teaching me to enjoy what he can do to my body.

My mind tells my body to move forward, even though my eyes want me to stand here and watch him. His hand comes out of his pocket and he dangles a necklace from his fingers. It sways back and forth until I hold out my hand to stop it. A diamond locket rests in my hand. He slides it away from me, only to reach around my neck and clasp it. His hands linger at the back of my neck, his fingers pushing into my hair. I knew I loved this man, but this… this hammers it home.

“I’ve missed you, wifey,” he says as his lips graze mine. It’s not enough, but we’re in public and he has an image to keep up.

“I’ve missed you too.”

Jimmy places his lips to mine, but pulls away too quickly. “Hey.”

He chuckles, placing his hand on our daughter. “Let’s go.” He pulls my hand into his and opens the car door, allowing me to slide in before him. Once he’s in and the car is in traffic, his hands are all over me.

“I fucking need you,” he says as his teeth nip into my skin. I never thought about how much alone time we’d get while I’m here. The guys travel by bus and since none of the families are with them they haven’t been staying in hotels this time around.

Jimmy rests his head on my shoulder. I snuggle into him, afraid to let go. I close my eyes and lean into him. He can make all my demons go away. I haven’t seen or heard from Damien since that day in
Whimsicality
. Is it too much to hope that something has happened to him and I’ll never see him again?

“When did you cut your hair?”

“Yesterday, after I finished talking to you and then my mum. I remembered that you mentioned it in Bora Bora and I thought,
what can I do to drive my missus crazy
? I’m hoping this is it.”

“I love it and I love you, Jimmy.”

“I love you, Jenna and I love our daughter. I want to give you the world. I know we got married quickly, but I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. And the way you were so obviously checking me out back there… I can’t wait to get you onto the bus and have my wicked way with you.”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head at him. “You’re so rotten.”

“But you love me.”

That I do.

“S
TAND
right here. You’ll be able to see Harrison and Liam, but I’m on the other side so you’ll only be able to stare at my arse.”

“Jimmy,” I say, hitting his shoulder.

“What?” He leans in. “Do you remember digging your nails into it earlier today telling me to take you harder and faster?”

No, I don’t need that reminder. The reenactment is playing like a dirty porn clip over and over again. Reuniting with him was everything I wanted it to be and more.

“Yes I remember.”

“We remember too, Romeo,” Liam says as he passes by. I stifle a laugh, as Jimmy turns red. I never thought I’d see the day where Jimmy Davis blushes from embarrassment, but now I have. My worst fear came true when we got to the bus. Harrison, Liam and Tyler were all there. They all snickered when Jimmy pulled me down the aisle and into his room. When we came out, Liam mimicked Jimmy, complete with a British accent.

“Fuck off, mate,” Jimmy says as he pulls me closer.

“Time to go on,” Harrison says, stopping next to me. He leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “It’s really too bad you couldn’t bring Katelyn. Maybe you ladies need to alternate weeks so we can get some service up in this piece.”

“I’ll tell her when I get back.” Harrison winks and walks away. I lean into Jimmy and kiss him.

“Good luck and have fun.”

“I will now that I know you’re waiting for me.” He kisses me before taking the stage. Jimmy stands next to his keyboard. On one side is his guitar. He hasn’t said much about his father, but I know who he is. Everyone does. I’m assuming he’s learned to play these instruments from his dad, although I can’t be sure. Some people are musically inclined. They’re gifted.

The music starts and the crowd erupts. You’d think they’ve all just woken from a winter’s slumber with how quiet they were, but now the noise level is deafening.

I look over at the guys and take in their presence. This is my first time seeing them on stage like this. It’s magical. No wonder we’ve all fallen for rock stars. They command the stage, even Jimmy, who is simply playing the piano. He owns it. It’s part of him. My eyes wander to Harrison. I’ve listened to Katelyn describe what it’s like to watch Harrison, but to actually see it. To feel the drumbeat rise from the floor and wash over your body is indescribable.

Liam walks over to me and plays his guitar for me. The crowd, somehow, becomes louder. He winks and walks back to the microphone to sing. I start to sway, moving to the music while watching Jimmy. He switches from the piano to the guitar to the harmonica.

When the familiar sounds of Little One’s song starts, my hand immediately goes to her. She pushes against me. I push back, letting her know that yes, it’s her daddy, and he’s about to play it for her.

Hearing Liam sing the song that Jimmy sings for our daughter is different, but I like it. His voice is perfect and it’s clear why he’s the singer. I still prefer Jimmy’s voice, but hearing Liam takes it to a whole new level.

I look out into the crowd. There are mostly women and a few men, no doubt brought by their significant others. That seems a bit awkward, these women yelling everything they can think to get the guys’ attention and their men just standing by aimlessly. Unless of course they like 4225 West then it’s not strange at all.

As I scan the first few rows, smiling as I do, my gaze lands on him, the man from the airport. He hasn’t bothered to change. He’s still wearing the same hat and trench coat. I close my eyes and shake out the cobwebs. I’m just tired. I’m seeing things. But when I open them, he’s still there, staring at the stage. I try to follow his line of vision, but can’t. He’s either focused on Liam or Jimmy.

It’s Jimmy who he’s staring at. Why? Why was this man following me in the airport and now boring down on my husband?

Damien!

I try to inch closer, but the bodyguard stops me. I’m not to come out on stage. I’m to stay behind the curtain for my own safety. But I need to see. I need to know. Is Damien here? How did he find me in the airport and how the hell did he make it to the front of the stage without being noticed?

The anxiety I had earlier is now back in droves. My palms itch and my skin feels like there’s a thousand needles trying to get in or out, it doesn’t matter. It’s driving me nuts.

“Are you okay, Mrs. Davis?” the bodyguard asks. I look down and see my nails digging into my arms. Damien’s here. He’s wearing a trench coat to a rock concert. Who does that?

He does because he’s here to cause harm. Instantly, the image of the defaced newspaper article that I saw him with that time in
Whimsicality
comes back to me. I look around, frantically. I step toward the stage, only to be stopped by a large arm.

“Mrs. Davis, what’s wrong?”

I point to Damien who is now closer to the stage. The bodyguard shakes his head, he doesn’t understand.

“He’s my ex,” I say, barely audible. He leans down so I repeat myself. He turns and looks to where I’m pointing. His body goes rigid. He moves in front, trying to shield me, but I move. I need to see. The bodyguard says something into his hand. Men move toward Damien.

“Gun,” I say, as I tug on his shirt. “Gun,” I yell louder.

Damien raises the gun and points it at Jimmy who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. Neither do Liam and Harrison. They’re playing, as they should be.

I get past the bodyguard and run onto stage. The crowd yells louder. Liam stops me, placing his arm around me. I beat on his arm. I kick and scream in his ear. “Gun, Liam!” He looks at me with utter confusion.

Jimmy drops to the ground. My ears feel like they’ve been filled with cotton and there’s a panicked scream bursting out of my chest. My feet are heavy, but I need to run to him. I need to be there with him. With my husband.

Liam turns in slow motion, dropping his guitar to his side, the dissonance ringing out over the sound system. Strong arms pick me up from behind and carry me away from my husband. The roar of the crowd is deafening, but the only sound I can focus on is the rush of blood through veins in my temples. I scream out for Jimmy as Liam and Harrison rush to his side.

Lights come on and people start screaming. The crowd’s so loud no one can hear me. “Put me down,” I yell, kicking whoever is carrying me. I’m set on my feet and the moment I’m touching the ground, I’m running back to Jimmy, my heart pounding against my ribcage.

“Jimmy!” I scream, but Harrison is there to stop me.

“Let me go, Harrison!”

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tight to his chest. He leans down. “Calm down, sweetheart, think about the baby. Let the paramedics work on JD.”

“He’s been shot.” I don’t remember crying, but there are hot streaks running down my cheeks and pooling into his t-shirt.

“I know. I know,” he says, running his hand up and down my back. The gesture that’s meant to be soothing only serves to agitate me more. He’s holding me back.

“He needs me.”

“Right now, he needs them more, Jenna.” He pulls back and cups my tear-laden face. “He needs them, okay? They need to help him.”

Harrison’s eyes, the ones that are always calm as still water, are frantic and dark. I press my hand to my chest as something inside me breaks.

“Is he going to be okay?” I’m unraveling, like twine from a spool, falling away from myself into disjointed pieces, tangled and messy.

Harrison looks over his shoulder and back at me. “I don’t know.”

I fall into his arms, clutching at his shirt as sob after sob rolls through my body. My ex has done the unthinkable and there isn’t anything I can do to help. Harrison pulls me off stage when the paramedics pass by with Jimmy.

I
love having my missus here. It’s like I have a new energy flowing through me. Being on stage has always been a high for me, but now, knowing she’s just off the stage watching me perform takes it to a whole new level. The only thing I’d change is our stage set-up. I want to be near her so I can watch her all night and not the crowd. These women out there – the ones who are wearing shirts that are two sizes too small? The ones who used to do it for me and float my boat? They don’t even compare to Jenna.

I glance at Jenna as often as I can. Liam is doing a bloody excellent job at keeping her entertained, but if I’m honest, I wish it was me being the front-man today. I need it to be me. Maybe tonight I’ll give Jenna her own personal show. I can play her body like a piano and make it sing. That’s if I can get her to undress for me again. I got a little carried away when we got back to the tour bus, but I couldn’t help myself. My dick has a mind of its own when it comes to her and he wanted to be buried deep inside of her. He didn’t care that my band mates were sitting a few feet outside the room. He wanted her, and I’m not one to deny him and his needs.

I’m a no-one without Jenna. I should tell her this, but finding the right words to do so is pretty much impossible. Admitting my feelings to her, albeit suddenly, has been such a relief. It’s like we’ve been together for years now and not just months. With her at my side, I know I’m going to be a better person, lover and musician. She makes me feel like I can conquer anything I put my mind to.

Taking out my harmonica, I start the beginning of
Tobacco Sunburst
and take a sneak peek over my shoulder. Jenna’s hand is on her tummy, her fingers dancing along. I wink, but know she can’t see me. I wasn’t planning on telling her that the song I sang to her when she told everyone she wasn’t feeling very well was one that she inspired. I should’ve known she’d listen to it as soon as I went out of town. I’ve been so quiet when singing to Little One because I didn’t want her mum to hear. She’s sneaky, that one.

Liam belts out the lyrics as Harrison adds the beat. I look out to the crowd quickly before bringing my harmonica back to my mouth. I think the only thing that can make me happier right now is to hold Little One in my arms. I’m not going to be afraid to hold her like some men are. I’m excited. I can’t wait to have her snuggled into my neck while I rock her to sleep. I’m going to be a hands-on dad, I’ll do everything Jenna needs me to do, even the disgusting stuff that involves nappies and shit.