Finding My Forever (21 page)

“Come here and kiss me, wifey.”

I chuckle, but don’t move toward him. I straddle him as I kiss the top of his cock and replace my hand with my tongue. Jimmy hisses as his hips move forward. I chance a look and see his head thrown back. Seeing him like this spurs me to do this for him. If I can make him feel good, maybe he won’t leave me in the end. I take him fully in my mouth, my hands spread out over his abdomen, my nails scratching lightly as they move.

His hand cups my arm pulling me away. “I need a kiss,” he says as he brings me to his lips. In one swift move he impales me and sets a quick and fast rhythm. I scream out in pleasure as he rocks into me. “Christ, Sweet Lips, I fucking love your pussy.”

A moan escapes causing him to laugh.

“You like it when I talk dirty, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I say, breathlessly. He rolls us over and sits back on his haunches. His thumb presses against my clit. My eyes roll back as he continues to work my body into a frenzy. I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never felt like I’m standing on the edge and the only relief I’ll get is if I fall over the side. He does this to me. He brings this out of me. Jimmy’s masterful in the art of sex and I’m his student. He’s teaching me to listen to my body, to feel what pleasure he’s giving me. This is a class I want to flunk, repeatedly, so he has to start all over again.

I scream out as my orgasm rolls over me. Jimmy moves faster, more urgent. The pulsing is almost much too much to bear and I dig into his skin looking for relief. He falls on top of me, panting.

“What am I to you?” he asks.

“My husband.”

“Damn straight. Now kiss me.”

“D
O
you think you have everything?” I ask, folding another shirt before putting it in his suitcase. We’ve stalled long enough, avoiding the inevitable. He’s leaving for months and the timing couldn’t be worse. They’ll be gone most of the summer, arriving home a few weeks before my due date. I’m nervous, I won’t lie, if the baby will come early and he won’t be here.

I want him to stay, but I don’t tell him this. I can’t. Touring is part of his job and as much as I’m going to hate it, he has to go. I know I won’t be alone, but I’ve grown rather fond of having Jimmy in my life every day. Waking up, walking to work and crawling into bed has become a treat for me.

“I’ve never taken this many things before. You’re spoiling me.” Jimmy kisses me on my cheek and slaps my ass. He’s sweet on one side, dirty on the other. Honestly, I wouldn’t change him.

“I want to make sure you have enough clothes.”

“You know we always use the facilities at the hotels we stay in and our manager will make sure our clothes get washed, right?” He playfully asks over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom.

“What’s his name again?” I know Josie and Katelyn were beyond happy that another “Sam” wasn’t hired. I hid my elation that the new manager is a man. The last thing I want is some other woman doing Jimmy’s laundry. I’ve become quite fond of the boxers he wears.

Jimmy comes out of the bathroom shirtless. My folding falters as I watch him move around the room. “He’s called Gary. He’s from New York so not involved with the LA scene which is what Liam and Harrison wanted. He’s also married and has kids so he gets it.”

“Yeah, that’s good,” I say, my voice breaking. Jimmy comes up behind me, rests his chin on my shoulder and places his hands on my belly. His thumbs move up and down over my shirt.

“For the first time since I joined the band I don’t want to go,” he whispers against my neck.

I nod, agreeing with him because I don’t want him to go either. Or I wish I was going with him, but it’s just not possible. “Would you be mad if I said I wanted you to stay?”

“No, I want to know that you want me here and that you need me here.”

“I do, so much.” I turn and wrap my arms around him. I won’t cry, not in front of him. It’s not fair to him if I do. He knows what this is doing to me. I don’t need to pour salt in the open wound. “I think our –”

“Are you ready to tell everyone?”

I can’t help but smile. We’ve been keeping the sex of the baby a secret and refusing to acknowledge it for fear we might slip in front of our friends.

“I think so. Josie and Katelyn want to know so they can plan a baby shower and I’m sure our moms want to know what we’re having.”

“My mum can’t wait to meet you. She’ll be arriving as soon as the tour ends and will stay to help out if you need her.”

My mom has offered the same thing, but we can’t have both of them here. “I think I’ll take your mom up on the offer and tell mine she can come after.”

“Whatever you want, wifey.”

“I think we should tell people.”

Jimmy’s smile is infectious. I bury my head in his shoulder and hold onto him. In a few minutes we have to drive over to Liam’s and say goodbye. We’ll be living a life of webcams, texting and phones. I’ve also been told to stay away from gossip sites and that if I’m starting to have a freak out, I’m to call him immediately.

He pulls away all too soon for my liking and bends down. His hands hold my stomach while he peppers me with kisses.

Jimmy looks up and winks causing me to laugh. “I’ve recorded the song I’ve been singing so you have to play it every morning. I read online that you can put headphones on your stomach. I want to make sure my baby girl hears her daddy’s voice every day.”

A single tears falls from my eye onto the top of his hand. He stands, placing both hands on my cheeks. “I love you, Sweet Lips. I’ll be home soon.”

My breathing stops momentarily. “What did you say?”

“You heard me, Jenna. I love you. I love our daughter and I love our life together.”

4225 West is back on tour! #Liam #Harrison #JD

Gonna rock with 4225 West tonight!

OMG!! Did you see Jimmy wink at me last night?? ☺ #4225West

I LOVE Jimmy Davis. He’s delish

I so played out my fantasy last night at the after party #JimmyDavis #Love #bestnightever

I
throw my phone down next to me. I really hate
Twitter
. I miss life in Beaumont. It’s like
Twitter
and Beaumont go hand-in-hand for me. If I’m there, my Twitter feed and mentions are quiet. When I’m on the road, it’s a ‘trending topic’ mess.

I want quiet.

No, what I want is my wife, in our bed, snuggled up in my arms. She’s what I need. I miss touching her tummy and singing to our daughter and even though I’m trying not to think about it too much, I do. The days are long and the nights are even longer. Before Jenna, I lived for my nights, but now I can’t wait to get off stage so I can call her or see her beautiful face on Skype. I know she’s staying up odd hours so we can talk and I appreciate it, but I hate seeing her so tired when she comes online.

Who knew I’d change this much in such a short amount of time? Not me. I knew marrying Jenna was a risk, but it was one I was willing to jump into feet first. I love her and not because we’re having a baby, but because she’s everything that I’m not. She completes me as a person and treats me as her equal.

I know she worries about me being unfaithful, but I saw what cheating did to my mum and I’d never do that to anyone. Chelsea did it to me and that alone pushed me to the lowest point in my life. I refuse to even look at another woman so those tweets are all fucking bullshit. It’s just nothing but a bunch of women trying their hand at a bit of shit-stirring.

Our tour bus pulls up and stops along the street in New York City. We are spending an extra day here to watch Yvie James perform. She’s been here for a while working on Broadway and now that her big brother is in town, we’re going to watch her show. Yvie is like a sister to me, spunky, loud and annoying, but I wouldn’t swap her for anything. She’s my age and we’ve been through a lot together. Yvie knew Chelsea wasn’t right for me before I could break free.

The bus door opens and we file out. I’m thankful that our arrival has been kept on the down low. It’s not that I don’t like the fans, it just that sometimes it’s nice not to be noticed. I stretch and take in the early morning sun. It’s going to be a scorcher today, but all I’m doing is shopping. I’m forcing the guys to go with me to the toy stores and we’ll be stocking up. Jenna’s going to kill me because our place doesn’t have a lot of space, but my little one needs toys and when her daddy gets home, he’ll be moving her mum to a new house.

I’ve been searching for a house online. I’d like one like Harrison and Katelyn’s. It’s big enough for us to expand as a family and has a decent sized garden. Liam and Josie’s garden is too big for me. I look around at the buildings that surround me and think about how I wanted to live in the City. Not so much just me, but also Chelsea. When I bought the bungalow just a few blocks away from Sunset, I thought we’d be happy there. I was wrong and standing here today I can say thank God Chelsea did what she did and I caught her because I wouldn’t swap Jenna for anything.

The high-pitched squealing catches my attention. Before I know brown hair is flying by me at mock high speed and launching herself into Harrison’s arms. He catches her without missing a beat and spins her around. Her legs wrap around his waist and to Liam and me this is normal and we expect it. But to the guy standing off to the side with the telltale sign of being utterly pissed off, he was definitely not expecting this on his leisurely stroll down a New York City side street.

This guy – he’s interesting – I watch him because he makes it easy to do so. He’s glaring at Harrison as he stands against the building with his foot pressed up against the façade. The only thing missing is a cigarette hanging from his mouth and this bloke would be a James Dean wannabe. Sadly for him, he’s not. He’s middle-aged, with this week’s style mop top and dressed like a twenty-something model out of
GQ
.

Harrison puts Yvie down, but doesn’t let go of her. I turn back and watch her
friend
with his eyes full of anger. He thinks he owns her. Funny. Last time I checked no one owned Yvie James, except maybe Quinn.

Yvie makes her rounds, Liam next then me. I pick her up and give ‘Mr. Angry’ the eye as I give her a long hard kiss on her cheek. He doesn’t know who he’s messing around with, but let me tell you something; she’s mine… ours and we protect what’s ours.

“I’m so happy you guys are here. I’ve missed you.” Yvie says as she falls back into Harrison’s arms. He has his baby sister engulfed in his arms. Their bond is undeniable. “Come meet Oliver. He’s my producer.”

“And shagging partner,” I mutter loud enough so Liam can hear me. He raises an eyebrow when Yvie glares at me. I shrug. I’m not sorry. The dude is a bloody dickhead and needs an attitude adjustment.

“Oliver, these are my brothers. That’s Jimmy, Liam and Harrison.” She points at each one of us and while all three of us stand there, each with a different expression, I can tell
Ollie
here isn’t a fan.

“Nice to meet you, mate. I’d like to say that Yvie has told us lots about you but she hasn’t.” Oliver doesn’t want to shake hands so I don’t offer mine. I can see through his veneer; he’s a twat and is probably shagging Yvie to get ahead in the industry. Maybe he’ll piss off Harrison and we can have a fight later. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed myself in a bar fight.

“I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?” Harrison’s words have a bit of bite to them and I know he saw the way this fuck was looking at us with Yvie. I’m trying not to laugh, but seeing him in overprotective mode is hilarious. That’s one thing about Harrison James – you don’t mess with his family or he makes you pay. And if he’s making you pay, you can be damn sure that I’ll be right behind him, and so will Liam.

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

I take a step back and shake my head. This man is about to get his arse beaten. Harrison looks up sharply. This won’t end well.

“Who are you?”

“As if it’s any of your business, I’m Yvie’s boyfriend and producer.” Yeah things are going downhill fast.

Harrison rubs his chin and Liam rolls his shoulders.

“Hold up, guys,” Yvie says with her hands on her hips. “Oliver, don’t be an ass to my brother and Harrison, stop acting tough. He’s not like you guys.”

“Every man should have respect for his girl’s family,” Liam says. I agree, it’s the most important value to have.

I think 4225 West should do a celebrity wrestling match or something like that. I’ll volunteer for the greater cause of humanity. Anything that allows me to release this pent up aggression building inside me. I know where it’s coming from… Chelsea. I was so grateful when Jenna asked me to change my number. I didn’t hesitate. I did it because my wife asked me to and she’s the most important person to me. What I didn’t count on was Chelsea bombarding my email with pleas. I can clearly picture her in my mind. The tears running down her face, begging me to call her. The thing is, I don’t want to. I know that makes me the biggest shit in the world, but I’m not convinced the baby she’s having is mine.

I asked her for a paternity test, at Harrison’s insistence. He said he had one done with Quinn because he had to know. I have to know. I can’t go to Jenna with this news, without knowing for sure. She’ll leave me and I won’t be able to handle that. When I told her that I loved her, I meant it without a doubt. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she knows that, but Chelsea is in the way and threatening my happiness and I can’t have that.