Finding My Forever (31 page)

“Come on in.” I sit down next to Jimmy. Mean, I know, but I don’t want James and Chelsea to take up both sides of him.

“You’re staying?” James asks in a snide tone.

“She’s my wife. You better start accepting it.”

“No need to get angry, son. I was just asking a question. Chelsea and I thought we could spend some time with you.”

“Well, you can do it with Jenna here. Anything that you need to say can be said in front of her. I’m not exactly in a position to be able to repeat myself.”

“Fair enough,” James says as he sits down, leaving Chelsea to stand or sit away from Jimmy, which is my preference. “How are you feeling?”

Jimmy shrugs and reaches for his water. I let him do it on his own. The last thing I want is hear his father’s sneering comments about me enabling him.

“I’m fine. I’m glad I’m going home today.”

“You’re going home? No one told me.” James looks at me, raising his eyebrow.

“Jenna doesn’t owe you anything, Dad, and neither do I. I’m not even sure why you’re here.”

James leans closer resting his head in his hands and takes a deep breath. I have to give him credit he’s putting on a great performance for Jimmy’s sake. By his expression, he’s not buying it. Chelsea huffs from her corner. I can’t help but laugh. She lost Jimmy and ended up with his father. It’s gross to even think about. What would possess someone to stoop so low?

“I care about you Jimmy. When I saw the report –”

“I saw it first,” Chelsea blurts out. Well, good for her.

James rolls his eyes. “When Chelsea called and told me, we had to come.”

Jimmy picks at his blanket. I can tell he’s not amused. His heart rate is starting to pick up too. I watch the monitor for signs of distress. I’ll kick his dad out if I have to.

“You should’ve stayed at home.”

“Jimmy –“

“No, you listen to me,” he says. I put my hand on him to try and keep him calm. “I went back to LA to tie up some loose ends and to tell you that I was married. To share with you that I’m happy and that my wife and I are having a baby and what do you do? You tell me to get an annulment and ignore her. As if that wasn’t bad enough, you…” he points to Chelsea. “Move into my flat and try to pin your pregnancy on me. Yeah, I was fucking stupid to even consider taking you back before I knew about Jenna, but I couldn’t get her out of my head, so I did the right thing and left. But no, you had to go and pull this ridiculous stunt thinking I wouldn’t find out, but I did. I’m not your baby’s father and you,” he says looking back at his dad. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Chelsea and I were together for three years and you think in your fucked up little mind that it’s okay to sleep with her?

“You know I had forgiven you for leaving when I was little, but this… I’ve made changes in my life and I think you need to be one of them. What you’ve done is so low I don’t think I can forgive you. I can’t look at the both of you across a family dinner and think that this situation is okay and I’m definitely not letting my daughter be a part of it.”

“You have some pretty powerful words there, son.”

“Yeah well, you’ve done some pretty shitty things to me in my life.”

“You dumped Chelsea, do you need a reminder?”

Jimmy purses his lips, shaking his head. “No, the vision of her getting shagged from behind with a dick in her mouth is still pretty damn clear.”

I gasp and look at Chelsea who isn’t making eye contact with anyone. I knew she cheated, but had no idea it was that bad. Jimmy clutches my hand. “I’m sorry,” I say to him.

“Why? I’m sure as hell not. If I hadn’t caught her I probably wouldn’t be married to you right now and this is definitely where I want to be.”

My eyes start to water with his confession. I’m sure he’s rethinking some of this. Without me he wouldn’t be in this bed, unable to breathe fully on his own.

Jimmy turns and looks at Chelsea. “I just want to know why? What would possess you to sleep with my dad and then try and pin his baby on me?”

“I love him,” she replies weakly.

He shakes his head and looks like he’s in need of his mask.

“Jimmy,” I say quietly.

“I’m okay.” He takes a deep breath and I’m there, ready to put his mask on if need be, but he doesn’t give me the opportunity. “I loved you Chelsea until you threw it all away. We had a good life and I treated you like a fucking princess. I put up with the bullshit from your…” Jimmy stops speaking. He tries to laugh, which only causes a coughing fit. I’m about to put an end to this meeting when he smiles at me. I shake my head, but he starts talking again. “I get it now. Your parents don’t know you’ve been shagging my old man, do they?”

Chelsea shakes her head. This is like a never-ending ping pong match with the back and forth.

“I see how it is. I’m the lesser of two evils where the Davis men are concerned, so you thought you’d come back to me and that I’d forgive you, and oops Chelsea’s pregnant and Jimmy’s doing the right thing. What you didn’t count on was me pushing you away or me seeing you have a full on snogging session with my dad at a coffee shop.”

Both Chelsea and James’ mouths drop open.

“Yeah, I saw you so that’s how I knew. It’s why I never called. It’s why, when my wife asked me to change my number, I did immediately without hesitation. I bloody knew you were lying. I knew it. The sad part is that I let this bullshit almost ruin my chance with Jenna. Thank God she loves me because if I didn’t have her right now because of you two… I don’t know what I’d do. As far as I’m concerned the pair of you are dead to me. You’re nobodies. You don’t exist in my life anymore.”

“Son, you can’t say that.”

“I can. You slept with my ex, that’s low enough as it is, but then you had to take it one step further and encourage her to pin the pregnancy on me when you knew I was married. You knew I was having a baby and that didn’t stop you.”

I put my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. I knew this was a mistake, but he insisted. Jimmy closes his eyes, as his chest moves rapidly. I pull his mask over his head whether he wants it there or not. These people aren’t worth my husband being unable to breathe.

“Just until you’re able to catch your breath,” I whisper in his ear. He nods and keeping his eyes closed. I have to say, I’m sure the pictures his mind can conjure up right now have to be better than staring at his father and ex-girlfriend.

“I love you,” I say, reassuring him that I’m here and not going anywhere. It doesn’t matter how screwed up this situation is. I have my own skeletons that he’s overlooking. I’m in this for life.

Jimmy pulls his mask down and looks in the direction of James. “I’m disgusted that I have the same name as you.” Jimmy covers his face with his hands as I lean on his shoulder. I can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now.

Jimmy looks at his dad. “You need to leave now. I’m going home today, with my wife and my friends.”

“Your home is in Los Angeles. You know you won’t be able to stay away.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Dad. You don’t have anything I need or want. Jenna has it all.
She’s
my home.”

“O
KAY,
Jimmy, just one minute left.” Xander is standing behind me ready to catch me if I trip or lose my footing. I’ve never been a fan of running and running on this bloody treadmill makes me hate it even more, but it’s working, this physical therapy bollocks, so I’m trying my hardest not to complain.

We — I say we because Jenna hasn’t left my side — have been home for a month. Jenna’s in her last few weeks of pregnancy and I’m determined I’m going to be in the delivery room with her and without my need for oxygen. For the majority of the time, I can walk around the house without any complications. At night, I’m hooked up to a machine and I fucking despise it. Right now, I can’t be the husband that I want or need to be and it makes me feel like I’m less than adequate.

I look at the display on the treadmill and watch the seconds tick down. My lungs are burning, but thankfully I’m not gasping for air like I was when I first started this regimen. When I started, I didn’t last thirty seconds without Xander having to hold me up so he could slip my oxygen mask over my face. If I ever felt emasculated, it was in that moment. I’m just thankful that no one saw me but him. He works with complete professionalism and he didn’t molly-coddle me. He put me straight back on the treadmill and told me to start again. Because of Xander, I’ll be stronger and healthier when Little One arrives.

The red lights flash and indicate that my training is done. I go from a steady jog to a brisk walk to cool down and decrease my heart rate. My hands find the railings as my lungs start to protest at the amount of work they’re doing. I can see Xander as he moves behind me, waiting. The mirror that I’m staring at tells me everything I need to know: he’s waiting for me to collapse, but I’m not going to do it, not this time.

“How are you feeling?”

“On top of the world,” I lie. I’m okay, but not great and haven’t been since the shooting. “I’m getting better.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either. Yes, I feel better, but this is a painstakingly slow process. I want results instantly, like that miracle diet that you hear about on the radio. Instant results. If you starve yourself to death, that is.

I’m running myself to death and as much as I’d like to give up and wallow in a self-imposed pity party, I won’t. It’s not fair on Jenna to have half a husband just because her ex went psycho and tried to kill me. She was already dealt a shitty hand with him. I refuse to let it happen again with me. I’ll be whole again before Little One arrives if it kills me. And I
will
make my wife feel good again.

“You’re doing well, Jimmy.”

“Thanks,” I say as I step off the treadmill. My legs don’t protest as much as they did when I started and that’s a good thing. My lungs do enough complaining for the rest of my body. They scream for air and instead of giving in, I go through the breathing exercises that I learned with Jenna at her Lamaze classes.

“Do you have your breathing under control?” Xander asks.

I nod and inhale my next breath before exhaling and relaxing. Who knew her antenatal classes would help me like this? I never would have believed it and I’ve definitely kept that information to myself. There’s no way I’d share my knowledge with Liam or Harrison. Xander knows though, and I can trust him not to say anything to them.

Xander has quickly become part of the band and integrated well. We’ve taken to him too. At first I didn’t want to trust him, but he’s given me no reason not to. He’s honest and very upfront about his life. He recently graduated from university and took the first job he was offered which happened to be in Beaumont. Sadly for the rehab facility, Liam came along and hired him full-time to keep us all in shape. It might not be Xander’s dream job, but he’s being paid well and he gets to travel.

“What time’s your appointment?” he asks as he checks my pulse.

“In an hour,” I answer. I’m surprised my voice isn’t raspy from the extensive breathing. Jenna’s commented many times about my raspy voice, but other than whispering dirty words into her ear, I haven’t been able to take advantage of it to its full extent. Another kill-joy if you ask me.

“I think the outcome will be positive. I’ll send my report over after you leave so your doctor can see your latest results.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you hoping to achieve with this visit?”

“Sex,” I blurt out.

Xander’s mouth drops open as he tries to compose himself and not to have a reaction at my verbal diarrhea. I realise my mistake by the sheer look of horror spreading across his face.

“I mean with Jenna. I haven’t been able to have sex with her for months and the ache is killing me.”

“You had me there for a minute.”

“Liam would kill me… if I cheated on Jenna.”

Xander nods. “He’s protective.”

“Fiercely, but I admire him for it. I know if I step out of line, he’ll be there to give me an arse kicking.”

“Somehow I don’t think you’d do that to Jenna.”

He’s right, I wouldn’t. She deserves to be the happiest woman in the world and hell would freeze over before I disappoint her.

“No, I wouldn’t. Any woman who’s been through what she has deserves to be doted on. I need to be whole again so I can be that man for her. I miss being with her.”

“I miss you too.”

I turn around and see my wife standing at the door. Her hand, the one that has my ring on it, rests on her belly. Little One has run out of space and needs to get here already. Not only am I anxious to meet her, but Jenna is too. I feel like she’s been pregnant forever and I know she feels the same. She’s beautiful though. Everything about her shines like a diamond and when she smiles, it makes me go weak in the knees. I hope that feeling never goes away.

“Am I interrupting?”

My teeth bite my lower lip as she walks closer. Jesus, this doctor needs to tell me it’s okay to have sex with her. I need to feel her and be close to her. Holding her at night does not sate my desire. Her arm slides around my waist and I instantly bury my face in her hair. I kiss her neck lightly, enough so she knows I’ve been thinking about her, but not too much to embarrass her in front of Xander.