Finding the Thing Within (3 page)

“Ciao Lorenzo, you should know that I never do anything without the willing of anyone involved. When I got in touch, it’s because I wanted a meeting only to talk and that’s what I really think and where it could lead to I put automatically aside. I’m a good talker and a good listener. I only hope that if we do meet, I can find in you a mature boy that knows how to discuss intelligent and real things, not like certain ignorant young things that think they know everything. See you soon, Rosario
.”

This time he didn’t have to wait for an answer, a sign that Lorenzo was getting interested.

“Hey Rosario, were you trying to challenge me? There was a challenging tone to your words. You should know that I’m battle hardened and it won’t be easy to win with me...it could be you at the end of the day that ends up saying dull things. I’m giving you my number so we can speak on the phone. Later. Lorenzo.”

Rosario answered straight away since this continuing conversation interested him greatly.

“Challenge you? Why? I only wanted to highlight the fact that you don’t have to worry. You were the one who warned me that you didn’t want to meet up to have sex but rather to have an intelligent conversation, I was just accepting those conditions. I’m a nice guy, but if you wanted a war, well I know how to fight. Not with my hands (I’m totally useless at that) but with words and arguments, with whatever you want. I’m ready
.”

Rosario phoned him the following morning just to hear his voice and he was left pleasantly surprised, perhaps fascinated. It was a nice voice; deep, certain and masculine. It seemed that Lorenzo was also impressed by his voice since they arranged to meet up the following day. Rosario was nervous that evening. This was odd, since he had had many meetings of this kind in his life with the many rejections and disappointments he had suffered.

What he couldn’t stand about a date was not the possible eventual rejection, either he of the other or the other of him, this was understandable. No, what he couldn’t stand was to be stood up. He had always kept the appointment and been on time, but had had many experiences of being stood up. He was thinking that he would be really pissed off if it were to happen again this time.

The following day he planned his work so that he wouldn’t have to leave the city. The meeting was to be at 7 o’clock and he could think of nothing else all day. He had time to do the shopping for his mother and after lunch he started getting ready for his greatly anticipated date. He was thinking that there were few parking spaces where they had agreed to meet, so he would have to leave early to get a space. He left the house early, very early, at 4 o’clock and so had no trouble finding a space. He got out and looked around.

He was next to a park and he decided to kill some time with a stroll. Looking at his watch and seeing that it was 4:30, realized that time was passing slowly and that 7 o'clock was still far off. Also from his watch, he saw that it was the fifth of June, and that the exchange of emails had lasted over ten days. Hmm! Who knew how this would all pan out! As he was passing the park gates, he saw a handsome boy, maybe about 19-20 years old, on the road in front of the gates. He watched him closely and the other returned his intense gaze but continued on walking without turning around.

Rosario followed him with nonchalance and without any real intention. Two hundred meters later the boy turned. Reassured, Rosario lengthened his stride as the boy went into the park via another, secondary entrance and turned again. Rosario occupied the first bench and the boy took one opposite. Their eyes met and they stared at each other intensely, hundreds of thoughts raced in his mind.

Shit, if he’s there, where can he take me? Of course we can’t do it here...we could go..? No! I’d have to take the car, and then there's the same problem of finding a parking space coming back afterward...I could arrive late for the meeting with Lorenzo...no, impossible... What if he’s not really up for it and is waiting to see what I do, before reporting me? Christ, I’m not making any first move until I’m sure. Really, he doesn’t look all that gay; he’s quite manly in his look and his movements. But then...he’s still looking at me, and doesn’t look away. Hm… let’s try a smile and see what happens…

The boy smiled back, got up again and kept turning

around as he walked away. Rosario thought,
Now it’s certain.
He caught up with him and asked, “Have you got the

time?”
“No sorry, I don’t wear a watch, but then it’s funny
you ask when you have a watch...”

Shit, the watch.
He blushed a little realizing that he

was, in fact, wearing a watch himself.
“Yeah, but it’s stopped, maybe the battery’s gone...” The boy wasn’t at all flustered or annoyed by the

gaff, on the contrary, his tone had been rather direct; and so...
“What are you doing now?”
“Well, I noticed you were following me and so I wanted to know what your intentions were,” he answered cheekily. Only then did Rosario hear in his voice a subtle effeminacy, which canceled his previous doubts regarding this stranger’s sexuality.
He looked closely and saw that he was even more attractive than he had seemed before, shame though that he was not a little taller. He was only about five foot ten, and very hairy. But his face was gorgeous, his two-day stubble gave him a mature look beyond his years and his long, dark hair made him look the artistic type.
“I’m Rosario and you?”
“Alessandro, Alex for my friends.”
“Are you a student, Alex?”
“No I’ve finished, I studied hotel management.”
“Oh so you’re a cook?”
“No that’s another qualification; I’m qualified in waitering and that kind of thing.”
“Are you busy?”
“Nah, I’ve just been to the gym and I was on my way home...”
“To the gym? So you work out?”
“I do aerobics.”

Shame,
he thought, aerobics is working out for fair

ies.
“Shall we walk a bit, there are people looking at us,”
said Rosario confidentially, looking around. As they walked,
Rosario was still thinking of where he could take him. Then
he saw that nearby there was an entrance to another, bigger park.
“What about here,” he asked. Then, “You’re really
cute...”
“Thanks! You’re not too bad yourself.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
“You look a bit younger than that though, I’d have
said about nineteen.”
“Yeah, everyone says I look young for my age. And
you, how old are you?”
“How old do I look?”
“Hmm, mid-thirties, not more than thirty-seven, anyway.”
Rosario thought that this time he would just go on
and tell the truth since it seemed that the boy was already
up for it and telling him could make no difference now. “I’m forty-seven.”
“Come on, now you’re taking the piss...”
“I’ll show you my license, if you want.”
“Fuck me, you don’t look it at all.” He looked furtively around, then came up close to kiss Rosario. “What the hell are you doing? If someone see us?
You want to make a scene?”
“Come on, there’s no one here.”
The temptation was too strong though so he pulled
Alex into some vegetation nearby and kissed him, hoping
nobody had seen them. He released his belt and slid his
hand into his trousers, trying to lay hands on what was
tucked inside. Alex was trying to do the same when Rosario felt that they were being watched. There were two people and it seemed that, rather than being shocked or screaming, they wanted to join in. Rosario gave off the
wrong vibes though and they backed off.
“My car’s parked close by but I can’t move it because later I have a date and if I move it I’ll lose my parking space... but we could go to the car, what do you think?” “Uh, sounds alright.”
They sat in the car and touched. Rosario was
rampant and both he and Alex continued to be as horny as
they had been earlier in the park. They kissed and petted
passionately, only stopping when they heard someone
passing. Luckily the car was parked underneath a tree and
only people passing on the road behind would be able to
see them. Rosario was worried but his desire was so
strong. He unzipped Alex's fly and pulled out his tool...it
was long and big, just as Rosario liked. Alex did the same,
unbuttoned Rosario’s trousers and found what he was
looking for.
“Hmm, not so poorly endowed yourself.”
“Let’s just say it’s one of my better points, cover up,
someone’s passing.”
As they quickly covered themselves they realized
that they wouldn’t be able to go on in those circumstances,
even though it was only five and there was still time. Just
then Rosario's best friend Francesco pulled up and parked
in the space next to them. A confirmed and ardent heterosexual, Francesco had known about Rosario for the
longest time and they had the best kind of friendship. “What you doing here?”
“Looking for parking. I’ve already gone round the
block twice and nothing going,” looking first at Alex and
then back at Rosario, he smiled.
“Why, where you going?” asked Rosario. “Didn’t I tell you that I’m renting an office in this
street?”
“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten.”
Francesco was about six foot tall, forty years old
and had curly, dark brown hair. He was always smartly dressed and was always in search of some kid of new look. There was only one thing that Rosario didn’t like about how he dressed and that was his habit of wearing those little pop socks, and white ones too. Rosario didn’t like those socks and even worse that they were white; sometimes even the sight of them would make him queasy and even though he would tell Francesco, he didn’t seem
to mind.
When Rosario had met him years before, in Rosario's eyes he had had a certain charm. Now, with the passage of the years, it had faded. He too was a salesman but
of books, encyclopedias to be precise. When they met,
Francesco had been nineteen and Rosario twenty-seven.
Back then, Rosario had had a small business and
Francesco, living nearby, would often come and visit him. One day Francesco asked him to come and hear
the Hi-Fi system at his flat and Rosario accepted. Once at
the flat, Rosario, with his one-track mind, over-interpreting
the meaning of a slight pressure on his leg from
Francesco, jumped to it. Francesco immediately made it
crystal clear that he was straight as they come and not in
the slightest interested or even curious. He explained that
he liked only women, that if Rosario wanted they could be
friends but if not, that it was better they never meet again.
Seeing as they got on so well and had such a lot in common, Rosario decided to accept and they had remained
close friends ever since.
Their closeness came from the fact that they were
constantly exchanging tales of their respective conquests
and they told each other everything. Francesco went into
the meticulous details of his sex life and Rosario did the
same when he pulled some hot young guy. They had one
thing in common when it came to their prey; they both
searched out youth. They both went after twenty-year-olds. “Listen Alex, shall we do this tomorrow?” “Yeah, I’ve got no plans tomorrow evening; if you
want we can meet.”
“Ok, tomorrow at eight, same place.” They exchanged mobile numbers.
He was thinking that it had been a pity since he would gladly have had some fun with Alex; he really was quite sexy, just once though. Rosario was like that, when he met someone that he liked, he would strike the iron hot but he would strike only once. He had no interest in long, drawn out relations and he would concede a second meeting only if his potential lay was exceptionally hot and young. He had always liked them to be around twenty, even when he had been younger than that himself, when he was a sex-discovering fifteen-year-old. He had little idea of how to behave with anyone older than that and he was even incapable of having sexual relations with people his age. Even worse, he hated people older than himself; he couldn’t stand them and called them ‘ancient’. One time when someone had pointed out to him that when he did this he was really calling himself ancient, he regretted it but felt he could do nothing to change the way he felt. At seven o’clock he thought it best to be ready and present in case he came early. He glanced around at the

people passing and thought to himself,
If that’s him? He’s not bad.
Alas 'he' passed by without stopping.
Ah, maybe it’s this guy, he’s slowing down and looking, oh shit I hope it isn’t though, not my type at all...
But they all kept on

walking, it was seven-thirty and Lorenzo still hadn’t turned

up.
Maybe he’s hidden somewhere over there watching me, thinking that he doesn’t like the look of me, maybe I’m not his type and then he’s about to leave me standing here like some kind of big idiot. I’ll phone him.

“Hello? I’m coming! Just trying to park!”

Another ten interminable minutes and from the middle distance approached a tall, bounding man. Rosario watched him but hoped it wasn’t him; despite his height he was completely bald and wearing glasses…not really attractive.

“Rosario?”
“Lorenzo?”
“Let’s sit.”
They found a bench and sat.

Mamma mia, how ugly he is,
thought Rosario.
We’ll talk for a bit then I’ll tell him to sod off.
”

He was nearly three inches taller than Rosario, thin and well muscled. Then when he started to speak, Rosario listened, entranced. His voice was even more beautiful than he remembered it from their conversation on the phone.

“What shall we talk about?”
“Well seeing as we’re not here to quiz each other, I’d say we can just chat without actually planning it, can’t we? How old are you?”
“I think I told you on the phone, I’m 24 and I’m in my third year at Uni studying engineering.”
“How come you wrote that 'Just want to meet someone with a minimum of” line on the forum?”
“What? Haven’t you seen the crap on the rest of that forum? Everybody on it is just looking for a cheap fuck. It’s all 'How big are you?' and 'What’s your type?' and shit like that, nothing else. It might be a gay site but, fuck; there are other things to talk about...”
“Like?”
“Don’t know, anything else, like trying to get to know people a little better psychologically or...like, talking about music or cinema or any other kind of bullshit instead of just asking each other about their girth or length.”
His mobile rang and he got up and walked a little way off as he answered it. Rosario was checking him out