Flaw (The Flaw Series) (19 page)

“I do have pictures. They’re on my phone.” I excuse myself from the table. “I left my purse in the front room. I’ll be right back.” A wave of excitement takes over. I want to tell them everything I can about how incredible Aidan is and how in love I am. How he cooks me dinner and helps me study. About how talented he is and the beautiful sketches he does. I want to tell them all that he’s the one.

When I return to the table, phone in hand, my cousin hands me a picture. “Speaking of pictures,” she says. “This is one of our proofs from the wedding. This is the one we think we’re going to choose for our thank you card.”

I stare down at the picture. A beautiful bride, her glowing face smiling up at me. Next to her, an equally handsome groom flashes a perfect grin.

“What do you think?” Erin questions, biting down crookedly on her lip. “I figure if there’s anyone to ask it’s you, Miss Perfect. If there’s anything wrong with it, I know you’ll be the one to let me know.”

Miss Perfect
. That’s how everyone sees me. “It’s a beautiful picture.”

“You don’t see any imperfections?”

“No.” I hand the picture back to Erin. There isn’t anything wrong with it. Not one imperfection. “It’s flawless,” I say.

Erin relaxes her shoulders at my approval. “Really?”

“Really.” I force a smile.

“Okay, you have your phone now. Show me a picture of your perfect new prince.”

I control my shaky hand and scroll through the phone. When I reach the pictures of us, my heart drops down to my stomach and twists. The beautifully flawed face, of my beautifully flawed man stares back at me. The scar that I had told myself I stopped seeing screams out at me, suddenly it’s the only thing I’m able to see. His scar, his mark… his flaw. I look up at the eager faces around me.

“I’m sorry. I must have erased the pictures.”

Becca

I told myself I wouldn’t go see Josh again unless he called. It’s been three days and he still hasn’t. I don’t know why I’m surprised. This is something I always knew would happen. He got what he wanted and now he’s gone.

I still stopped by the hospital, only I kept the visits short and made sure I was well on my way before I knew Josh was due to arrive.

At work I’m useless. The holidays are over and the store is slow, making it hard to keep busy and take my mind away from things. Second semester doesn’t start for two more weeks and the days seem endless.

Josh is in my thoughts nonstop, but what am I supposed to do about it? I was warned and I knew what the consequences were if I kissed him that night. But everything about it is just throwing me off. The warnings I received all made him out to be selfish. It wasn’t like that. Not at all. And the “I love you.” I never expected that. When he said it, yelled it, cried it out… whatever that was. I froze.

I froze. He got weird. We got dressed. He left. I cried.

I know his reputation for the sweet talk, but I hadn’t realized he would take it as far as saying, “I love you.” Having sex, hearing him say those words… there was no way I was prepared for that. And once again I’m scared and back to hiding from him. Or is he hiding from me? I don’t even know anymore.

One of the girls from work offers to drive me home and I take her up on it. Too tired to fight the cold weather and walk home. She drops me off in front of my building. The smell of Chinese food fills my nose, causing my stomach to rumble.
Do I order while I’m down here or wait until Aidan comes home in case he wants to order with me
?
Hmm
. I look down the road, contemplating, and see a black Mustang parked down the street. Right away I know it’s his but I walk down for a closer look anyway. Peering inside I see a large bouquet of roses on the front seat. They’re wrapped in cellophane with a large bow and a card sticking out of the top. Who gave Josh roses? A closer look shows my name scribbled across the envelope.

They’re for me? If they’re for me, why are they sitting in his empty car?

I hesitate, taking a deep breath, before walking into my building. From the bottom step I see him waiting for me. He sits on the top step, elbows propped up on his knees, hands clasped against his forehead. The first step creaks as my foot lands on it. Josh looks up, standing, then takes the first few steps down towards me. In the middle we stop and I look up to him.

“Where have you been?” he asks sadly.

“I was at work.”

“Not tonight. Where have you been the last few days?”

“I stopped by the hospital.”

“When you knew I wouldn’t be there?”

I lower my eyes away from him. “I wanted to leave it up to you whether we saw each other but I never heard from you.”

“I was doing the same thing. I wasn’t sure how you felt after I left the other night.” He sighs and places his hand on the side of my arm. “How do you feel about what happened?”

His simple touch sends a zing directly to my chest. “I feel fine. You needed comfort, someone to make you forget for a little while.” My stomach tightens into a knot. “I let myself be that person for you.”

His dark eyes go from sad to empty. He nods his head down and runs a shaky hand through his ever-graying hair. “Comfort? That’s what that was?”

I don’t know what he wants, what I’m supposed to say. My eyes gloss over and I blink them dry. “Yes, comfort.”

“Will you still come see me? Will we still hang out?” His voice goes hoarse.

I nod. “If that’s what you want.”

He looks over my shoulder to the bottom of the stairs. “And the other night, we just forget that happened.”

I don’t answer.
Is he asking me or telling me?

His eyes shift back onto mine and I nod my head, “yes.” My chest goes hollow, and it feels hard to take a breath. I open my mouth but I can’t get any words to come out. Josh moves past me, the stairs underneath me shaking from his heavy stomps. Once he reaches the bottom, he turns back around and glares up at me angrily.

“What happens if I need more comfort Becca? Do I come to you or go find someone else?” he spews.

I think I understand his anger. He needs a friend right now. I was that friend and the other night took that away. It was my fault. I’m the one who started it, and now I’m supposed to go back to being his friend.
How do I do that?

I take a step down towards him and stop. The harsh expression on his face softens and he waits. What happens when I get to the bottom of the stairs? I hug him, kiss him, comfort him, and confuse things even more.

I spin back around and race up the stairs to my apartment, refusing to look back down at him. Inside I bolt the door and run into the bathroom. I need a place to hide and drown away my racing thoughts. The hot water runs, filling the small bathroom with steam. I let the water of the shower burn my skin, trying to forget everything that was just said.

I confused things with Aidan and we were fortunate to recover from it. The reason we were able to recover is because we
are
friends. Josh is so much more than that to me. Recovering and going back to a friendship won’t happen for us.

Comfy pajamas, a shot of bubble gum vodka, and bag of chocolate chips in front of the television; one of these things needs to help me feel better. But none of them do.

A thumping on the door causes me to jump, leaping up excitedly.
Is it him?
Tossing the bag of chocolate on the table, I run over and peek through the peephole. Aidan is holding a bouquet of flowers.
What the?

“What are these for?” I ask, opening the door.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “They were leaned up against your door when I got home from work.”

I take them from his hands. Roses wrapped in cellophane with a big bow, the ones that I saw in Josh’s car. Only the card I saw tucked inside is missing.

“Was there a card with these?” I step into the hallway, searching the floor and peering down the stairs in case it dropped.

“No, I didn’t see one.” Aidan helps me look. “Who are they from?”

“Josh.” Roses but no card. He doesn’t know I saw them, for all he knows I don’t even know they’re from him. He doesn’t want me to have the card. What could it have said that would make him take it back? What does this mean? Is this his way of saying goodbye?

Aidan grins. “So, it looks like you guys are doing good.”

The cellophane crinkles as I press the roses into my chest. “No. We’re not.”

Jordyn

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Aidan takes his eyes away from the road and glances over at me. “Because I’ve never seen you like this. You seem anxious, like you’re terrified.”

“I’m sorry,” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “I guess I am a little nervous for you to meet everyone.” Understatement. Nothing in my life has ever scared me more than what I’m about to do.

“We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to tell them about us if you’re not ready,” Aidan says calmly giving me a reassuring smile. I’m sure he’s anxious as well but he’s doing a much better job at controlling himself than I am.

I watched him get dressed this morning at his place, or
our place
as he referred to it, trying to make me feel at home. He’s all ready to meet everyone. Black pants, a light blue button down shirt opened at the neck. His hair’s been buzzed, he’s clean shaven, and the cologne he has on fills the car with a musky scent that makes my mouth water. He’s beautiful. But I know only to me.

“My family is going to say things.” I frown, my brows creasing together with worry. “And I hate that you’re going to have to sit there and deal with it. They obsess over perfection and I just know they’re going to be awful.”

Aidan pulls over the car and parks. “Hey, look at me.” His finger urges my chin up to meet his face. “I can handle it. Whatever they give me, I’ll be fine. As long as I have you at my side they can’t hurt me.”

He leans forward, pushing me back against the seat and kisses me. I put my hands up to his jagged skin. The scar. It looks so big, so red, stretching across his beautiful face. They’re all going to stare, ask questions, judge.

“Should I wear my glasses?” Aidan asks before we get out of the car.

“That’s up to you,” I flip down the mirror on the back of the visor and fix my lipstick. “It might make you more comfortable, so maybe you should.”

He slips on the sunglasses and we walk up to my parent’s house holding hands. The second we reach the door I drop his hand to fix my skirt and run a hand over my hair. I keep my hands busy until the door is swung open by my mother.

“Hello darling, come on in. Everyone here has been going crazy waiting for you to get here.” She kisses me on the cheek before looking over at Aidan. She pauses but only for a moment and then smiles. “And you must be Aidan. Everyone here is just dying to meet you.” She takes him by the arm, pulling down to kiss him on the cheek as well. The gesture must put Aidan at ease; he slides his glasses off. I wait for my mother to react, gasp, freak out. My mother only smiles wider and continues holding onto his arm, leading the way into the party.
Hmm?
I don’t know what she’s up to. I just know I don’t like it.

Aidan gradually makes his way through the party, being introduced to all the members of my family. I stay tucked back in the corner of the room, watching everyone’s reaction, waiting to see who will be the first person to say something, make the hurtful comments I know they’re all thinking. With my arms folded I scrutinize every move made. They all smile at Aidan, make small talk, and act as if they see nothing.

My cousin’s girlfriend Tessa comes bouncing over. “Hey Jordyn,” she says, giving me a kiss hello. “I’m so glad to meet Aidan.” Her sweet voice stings my ears.

“Why are you
so
glad to meet him?” I bark at her. The smile falls from her face and she looks uncomfortably over her shoulder for Tucker to come protect her.

“I just meant… that, it’s nice to meet your new boyfriend. That’s all.”

I grimace walking past her, leaving her bright blue glassy eyes staring down at the floor.

“Aidan, why don’t I give you a tour of the house?” I hold out my hand, taking him away from a stupid conversation about sports that he’s having with Tucker and Daddy.

In the kitchen I start right in apologizing for my family. “I’m sorry for all that out there. I told you.”

“All what? They’re fine. I think this might be the most comfortable I’ve ever been walking into a room, including before this.” He touches the scar and chuckles.

“We can leave if you want. We don’t have to stay here and put up with all this nonsense.”

“Jordyn, what are you talking about? We’ve been here twenty minutes and everyone’s been nothing but nice. Relax, I’m fine.” He reaches over and squeezes my upper arm. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t think I want to tell them just yet.” I don’t look at him when I say it.

“That’s fine. I told you that was up to you.” He pulls me in for a hug.

The door to the kitchen swings open and my mother startles when she sees us. “Oh my, you scared me.” Her hand springs up to her chest.

“You don’t need to be scared, Mom!” I holler, causing her to flinch.

“Sorry, honey, I didn’t know anyone was in here was all.” She takes a tray from the counter. “Can you guys grab a tray when you come back in?”

“Sure thing,” Aidan answers her politely.

“No, we won’t. Aidan’s not at this party to work, Mom. He’s a guest.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard my voice sound so shrill and impolite.

The three of us stand there in the awkward silence that follows.

My mother smiles over at Aidan. “Would you mind excusing me and my daughter for a minute?”

She places the tray she’s holding back down on the counter and waits until we’re left alone in the kitchen. “What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want Aidan being treated like he’s the hired help, having to serve all your precious guests.”

“I asked him to carry out a tray,” my mother says, baffled. “Actually, I asked both of you. What is this really about?”

Is she really going to stand there and pretend like she doesn’t see anything wrong with the guy I just brought home? Get me out of here. I slam the kitchen door back hard and storm into the front room with all the rest of my pretending family members.