Authors: Mark Tufo
I’d been on 495 for fifteen minutes or so and nothing untold was happening. There
was a build-up of more abandoned cars as we got closer to the outskirts of Boston,
but nothing that we wouldn’t be able to navigate through quite yet. And unless we
started seeing tanks, I didn’t think there were too many things this truck couldn’t
get through anyway. For about the fortieth time, I asked myself why no one had thought
of this sooner, least of all me.
“You see that?” Tommy asked.
But unless he was talking about the small pile of crumbs he was creating in his lap,
I didn’t know how he could see anything else. He had not looked up from his parade
of junk food the whole time I’d been in there. I wasn’t complaining; he’d given me
a Mallo Cup and a Devil Dog. From where? I didn’t care. Sometimes it’s way better
to allow the mysteries of the universe to remain just that. What good has it been
for science to remove all the mystery in life? Isn’t it cooler to think that the Northern
Lights are the gateway to the Spirit world and that the crackling sound it sometimes
makes is that of the spirits talking? Or would you rather ‘know’ that its charged
particles from the sun reacting with the earth’s magnetic field?
“See what?” I asked, realizing that Tommy had even spoken.
“The smoke.” He pointed through the windshield.
I could see a small funnel of it. It didn’t look like much more than a small campfire
throwing it off. Campfire meant people, though. I took a small glance through the
back windshield. It seemed my driving had been relaxing enough for all of them to
get a little much needed sleep. We weren’t yet under attack; I was going to see how
this rode out before I awoke them.
“Buckle your seatbelt in preparation for a bumpy ride,” I told Tommy.
“Had it on since Gary started driving,” he told me.
“Okay so it wasn’t just me.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “I thought he was trying to kill a snake on the floorboard
every time he hit the brakes.”
It was the further I drove that I realized this wasn’t just a marshmallow roasting
fire. Something was going on. Now I’d wished I’d taken 95. I was slowing down looking
for the best place to turn my truck around when I saw it.
“Oh shit,” I said as I saw the bus heading our way. “He’s gotta be doing seventy.”
That was fairly miraculous considering all the vehicles on the roadway. Smoke was
billowing out of the front, luckily, the driver was going so fast that the smoke was
traveling down the sides and to the back.
“Where’s he in such a rush to get to?”
“I think it’s what he is in a rush to get away from,” Tommy said.
A bevy of bikers came into view. I did not want to get involved. First off, because
I didn’t want to expose anyone to the danger; and secondly, how did I know who the
good guys were. Just because bikers were chasing a bus didn’t necessarily make them
the evil ones, now if it was a school bus that might change the equation. Sure…it
cast them in a worse light, but by no means was it a definitive answer. No matter
what I decided, I couldn’t stay where I was; the path through the cars was too narrow
for us and a bus. The ear-irritating sound of metal squealing on metal pretty much
woke everyone up as I pushed against some cars in an effort to make room.
The herking and jerking of Gary’s braking had nothing over what I was doing. Professional
rodeo riders would have been complaining. I had created a sort of dugout through the
cars and at the same time made myself vulnerable. There was always the chance the
bus would race on by and the bikers would stop to check us out.
“Shit,” I said just as I decided this was a horrible plan.
The bus was within a quarter mile or so when I threw the truck in reverse. I was pinging
the back of the truck off of more than a few cars.
“See? I told you it wasn’t easy!” Gary shouted through the glass.
“What’s going on?” BT asked, sticking his head through. It was good to see him looking
better.
“Company.” Tommy pointed to the rapidly approaching bus and motorcycles.
“Shit,” BT said.
“Couldn’t agree more,” I told him.
“Any idea who’s who?” he asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I told him, my head jerking as we ripped off the
front fender of a Toyota.
“That bus is coming up fast!” BT’s eyes were growing big.
“You been talking to Captain Obvious lately?” I asked him, trying my best to avoid
the parked cars that seemed to be jumping into my path of their own volition.
The bus was less than a football field away, within seconds he would be abreast and
then past. Then the bikers, then probably a couple of thousand zombies behind them,
a yeti, and a pack of werewolves…why not?
I had run out of time. I could hear the bus honking its horn. Where the hell did he
think I could go? His front end was inches from my plow blade, billowing smoke was
obscuring the driver. It was another quarter mile or so before the cars cleared up
enough that the bus could attempt to pull past me, which he did. I was still driving
backwards somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty miles an hour. I was too scared to
actually look down and check though, figuring I’d lose control if I did so. My full
attention was riveted to the small four-by-eight inches of reflective glass to my
side.
I heard, “Ponch!!!” It was yelled out from the bus as it pulled alongside.
I spared a quick glance. “John?” I asked, not believing what I was seeing.
“Who?” he shouted back.
“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to figure out the biker situation.
“My wife rented a party bus! We’re going to a concert…she got a ticket for you, too!”
“Hey, Mike!” Stephanie yelled out. She was on the other side of her husband holding
onto a handrail for all her life was worth. I could see the white of her bones shining
through she was clutching so hard.
“Good or bad?” I asked, hoping she would catch the meaning of my abbreviated question.
“Bad.” In reality, I didn’t even need her verbal response, it was in her panicked
expression.
“BT.”
“On it,” he said, getting the boys at their firing stations.
I started to slow down and so did Trip.
“It’s really good to see you, man. Stephanie wanted to know if you still had her sneakers,”
Trip rambled.
Stephanie was shaking her head back and forth.
“Don’t slow up, man, you’ll be late for the show. I’ll be right behind you!” I told
him. There was no traditional rationalizing with Trip, you just had to speak the correct
language.
“Oh…right, right. I’ll get the sneakers from you there!” He was all smiles.
I gave him the thumbs-up.
“You hitching, man? I can give you a ride, we’ve got plenty of room,” Trip said.
“GO! I’ll see you there!” I yelled over to him.
Steph must have said something, because he gave me the thumbs-up and pulled past.
The bikers were almost on me by the time I had stopped the truck and got it back into
drive.
“Well, fuckers, it’s time to learn a thing or two about size differential. I feel
like BT around us regular folk,” I said to Tommy.
I started to see the wisps of smoke as many of the bikers started shooting at us.
“Well, I guess that answers that question,” I said as I began to build up some steam.
I was going somewhere around twenty miles an hour when I cut the wheel, catching a
biker head on. The truck bucked, and even with my seat belt on I left my seat, but
that was nothing compared to the biker. I launched him. I’d sheered the bike nearly
in half on contact. The rider was sent spiraling into the air to land in a death pirouette.
“Should have worn a helmet.”
“I don’t think it would have helped,” Tommy replied.
I drilled two more bikers—both of these head on—before the others tried to get around
me. Most started drifting over to the shoulder so they could do just that. I could
hear bullets smacking into the body, a few even broke through the windshield.
“Shit! I just got shot,” I said, looking at the blood running down my shoulder. “Don’t
let any of those fuckers past!”
The truck quickly became a rolling gun blind. Bikers who were slowly picking a path
through the snarl of traffic became relatively easy targets. We dropped at least five
or six of them before they decided whatever prize they were seeking from Trip and
his wife just wasn’t worth it. I saw a smallish guy, raise his hand up in the air
and whirl it around in the traditional ‘rally here’ gesture. He turned and gunned
his bike, leaving a trail of rubber as he did so, the rest quickly followed suit.
I followed for a mile or so just to make sure it wasn’t a ruse on their part and maybe
they were doubling back. It wasn’t long before I lost sight of the much faster bikes,
and still I thought about pursuing them. I immensely disliked leaving an enemy out
there.
“We going back?” Tommy asked.
Of that I wasn’t so sure. What Trip was doing here was beyond my comprehension. There
was a pretty good chance he had already forgot about our encounter and would just
keep going to whatever destination he had originally set out for. His wife was with
him, though. I’m sure at some point she’d get him to pull over. Or, more likely, the
bus would just quit. The smoke pouring from the thing indicated it had suffered a
fatal wound.
“Douche bags always regroup, it’s like a genetic thing,” I said to Tommy.
“We can’t catch them.”
“You’re right,” I said, close-lipped. I did a beautiful three-point turn in the center
of the highway, only smashing four or five cars as I did so.
“What the hell was all that about?” BT asked as we started heading North on 495.
“You’re about to find out.”
It was about five miles by the time I finally saw the bus. It was parked on the side
of the road; smoke was still coming out of it as if it were on its last legs. Trip
had his back to me, and as I drew closer, I noticed he was pissing on the tire.