Forever & an Engine (30 page)

‘Great,’
grinned Lexi, I could tell she was still a bit in awe of her surroundings and
being taken care of.

‘Fine with
me,’ I smiled.

‘Ok well I’ll
go and leave you in peace to continue your fascinating discussion about
sanitary towels. Lexi you want a beer or something?’

‘God yes
that sounds great.’

‘Mia?’

I decided
not to push my luck. ‘Would you mind if I had more orange juice?’

‘Coming
right up,’ he smiled as he left.

‘So how you
doing now Mia?’

‘Ok Lex, my
stomach doesn’t feel so sore, I just went a bit light headed again.’

‘So what
was going on earlier? I heard shouting and the door slam.’

‘
Sssshhhh
,
he’ll be back soon,’ I warned. ‘I’ll fill you in when he’s cooking. What about
you?’

‘Ok, still
getting cramps and bleeding but they said to expect that for up to ten days, hopefully
it won’t last that long. You still bleeding?’

‘Barely,
got pissed off with the towels and stuck a tampon in.’

‘Should you’ve
done that?’

‘Don’t see
why not, it didn’t really hurt. I reckon my next period’s going to be really
bad though.’ I heard the door swing open behind me.

‘Ok freshly
chilled beer for Lexi and a glass of orange juice for you baby and there’s a
small bar of galaxy to keep you going.’

‘Thanks
Gabe.’ I tilted my head back and pursed my lips and he hesitated for a second
before kissing me again. ‘I’m not going to nearly faint every time we kiss you
know,’ I smiled and he shook his head.

‘Cheers for
the beer Gabe.’

‘You’re
welcome. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, I’ll do some trays and we can
eat in here. Do you want me to make a fire?’

‘I’m good
with my blanket on thanks,’ I replied.

‘No I’m
good too,’ confirmed Lexi.

‘See you in
about half an hour then, have fun.’ He pulled the door closed behind him.

‘So?’

‘Lex, me
later please. I want to know about you first. How are you doing?’ I opened the
galaxy and popped a chunk in my mouth as she talked.

‘Mia I told
you I’m fine. Once these cramps and bleeding stop I can forget it and get back
to normal. It may sound heartless, but I’m relieved it’s all over and I can
move on. Plus it’s so good to be able to drink again.’

‘I don’t
think it’s heartless Lexi, you’d already decided it wasn’t a good time for you
to have a baby, you were just confused over whether an abortion was the way to
go, so maybe you’re right, this miscarriage was for the best. The choice has
been taken away from you, so you have nothing to feel guilty about, or to
regret and you don’t need to second guess yourself.’

‘Yeah I
guess you’re right, adoption or abortion I wouldn’t have kept it and it would
have been hard to go through with either so it was for the best,’ she nodded
firmly. I knew her well enough by now to know that she meant it. She was going
to be ok and she’d have me to give her a cuddle and pick her up if she needed
it.

‘So fill me
in on Doug, you’ve had a date
and
he found out your news.’

‘No,’ she
said shaking her head. ‘Health shit first, then you’ll get your gossip.’

‘But Lex I
really …’

‘Not yet,’
she scowled.

‘Fine,’ I
sighed. ‘At least tell me about your smoking, that’s health shit.’

‘So far
managing without, but I’m feeling a bit tense about it so best we don’t discuss
it.’

‘O Lexi that’s
amazing, well done, I’m so proud of you. What are you using to help?’

‘Bubble gum
to keep my mouth occupied.’

‘You know
what else would keep your mouth occupied?’

‘What?’

‘Doug’s
tongue or cock,’ I giggled.

‘Mia Page,’
she laughed and grabbed a cushion and smacked it on my legs as she blushed.

‘You’re
blushing again Lexi.’

‘And you’re
not, when did we change places?’

‘About the
time I started having loads of sex and you stopped. How cool would it be if we
could really swap places for a while?’

‘
So
cool,
with those tits I could get pissed without worrying about falling over and hurting
my nose, they’re like inflatable air bags, plus they’d act as buoyancy aids if
I fell off a yacht.’

‘Fell off a
yacht?’ I laughed. ‘When do you
ever
go on a yacht?’

‘Well I got
the ferry to Calais on that trip to France we had in year 11.’

‘A ferry’s
a ship Lexi not a yacht,’ I laughed.

‘Well it
goes on the water doesn’t it?’

‘That’s
like saying an artic truck’s a car just because it drives on the roads.’

‘Fine if I
went overboard on a bloody ferry then. The point
being
if I was on a
form of water transport I wouldn’t have to worry as I’d float and in the event
of a fall or car or plane crash my beautiful face would be protected.’

‘So what
you’re saying is the best thing about being in my shoes for 24 hours would be
using my tits as some form of life saving device in the event of air, plane,
train or automobile disaster? I really don’t do anything or have anything else
that’s more exciting?’

‘Well on
the theme of transport I’d definitely ride the Gabe Express and see how big
that cock really is.’

‘You
so
need to fuck Doug, I’m starting to get worried about you and this obsession
with Gabe’s penis Lexi. In fact I’m going to try and track down that American
guy with the humungous penis for you to try out, then Gabe’s would seem totally
insignificant to you.’

‘Which
American guy?’

‘I can’t
remember his name, but you’re not telling me
you
of all people haven’t
heard of him?’

‘Not a
clue,’ she replied with a shake of the head.

‘He
apparently has the world’s largest erect penis at 13.5 inches.’

‘No shit,’
she uttered, her eyes wide and mouth ajar.

‘I know
right?’ I nodded.

‘What was
this show called? Monster Cocks?’

‘No,’ I
giggled. ‘Though someone really ought to make that. It was actually a serious
documentary.’

‘How do
you
know about this and not me?’

‘I think
you were off having actual sex, while I was scaring myself shitless with my
fingers over my eyes watching it on TV.’

‘Jesus
christ, sex with that could be like that scene from Alien where it burst out of
John Hurts stomach. It would pop in one end and out the other, you’d open your
mouth and it would be there, winking at you.’

‘Lex unless
you have a vagina as wide as a toilet bowl I’m telling you
that
thing
wouldn’t “pop” anywhere. Christ I can’t imagine anyone being able to take it.’

‘I wonder
if he blows himself?’ she gasped.

‘Ewwww
seriously? Would a guy do that if he could?’

‘I think
most men would if they were flexible enough. You’re pretty bendy, you never
been tempted?’

‘Lexi,’ I
laughed. ‘You’re seriously asking if I’d perform oral on myself if I could
reach? How the hell did the conversation wind up in this bizarre place?’

‘Your tits
and Gabe’s penis if we body swapped. So would you?’

‘No I
really don’t think I would Lex.’

‘Why not?’

‘Why do
myself when I have Gabe to do it and I can lie back and enjoy it without
putting any effort in? That’s like having a cleaner and tidying up before they
come over.’

‘I guess,’
she shrugged. ‘So what would you enjoy about being in my shoes for 24 hours?’

‘It must be
great to see over hedges and office cubicle partitions and I’d be the cool
chick for once,’ I shrugged.

‘That’s all
you can come up with?’

‘I’d miss
Gabe too much Lex, but I think the body swap idea would be great for our next
Tuesday night movie marathon.’

‘O god yes.
“Y’know I could eat a peach for hours.”’

‘
O
Face
Off, I
love
that film. “I want a fluffy pillow.”’

‘13 going
on 30, loved Jennifer in that. Best work since Alias.’

‘God I
loved
Alias, Bradley Cooper looked super cute in that. We’re so lucky my mum’s so
cool when it comes to TV shows and movies. Ok how about “You once took your
vibrator into the bathtub. You then got electrocuted while using it and now you
have a bald spot on your vagina.”’ I giggled.

‘Ha, The
Changeup, that was the best line in that movie,’ Lexi laughed. ‘God how could
you leave Ryan Reynolds off your top three? He’s another Gabe alike.’

‘He moved
down the ranks after seeing him in Green Lantern. But o so hot in Blade
Trinity, his body was b.u.f.f. with a capital B, just like Gabe’s and he was so
adorable in The Proposal.’

‘God I’ve
missed this,’ sighed Lexi suddenly looking serious.

‘Me too
Lex, it’s going to be so nice spending time with you this week. Listen, I know
you may feel ok about the miscarriage now, but promise you’ll talk to me if it
suddenly hits you and it’s too much to deal with.’

‘Yeah I
will, same goes for you with your dealio. I just felt really sorry for Gabe Mia.
He was already pacing the floor when you went in and I thought he was going to
rip his hair out he pushed his hands through it that many times while we were waiting.
Then I go and … do
that
. The nurse was really good and when they said
you were still in surgery, he offered to bring me back. He looked like he’d
been run over by a truck Mia.’

‘O god,’ I
sighed and rubbed my forehead, fun and movies forgotten for a moment as I came
back down to earth and the here and now. No wonder he was feeling angry and
stressed, he’d been through a lot this week, including relieving some very painful
memories.

‘Mia?’ Lexi
looked at me inquisitively. I looked at her and for a minute thought of telling
her about his mum and the baby she’d lost, but then realised that would make
Lexi feel awful too, to tell her that Gabe had to deal with her miscarriage after
what he’d been through as a child, so I decided against it and chewed on
another chunk of galaxy.

‘It’s just
been a really hard week for him Lex, what with me crying all the time too, he’s
just super stressed.’

‘So what
was all the door slamming about?’

‘We had a
big fight in the hospital when I suggested we go our separate ways and it
spilled over here.’

‘You want
to finish with him?’ Lexi asked looking stunned. I shook my head vigorously and
bit my lip.

‘Lex it was
awful. We had an argument on Sunday as he got really upset when I said I didn’t
care if I was infertile.
You
know how I feel about it. It’s like just
because you’re a woman, everyone expects you to want to get pregnant and settle
down. It just brought up loads of bad associations with my dad.’

‘So how did
that end?’

‘We agreed
it was best not to carry on the discussion, but I could feel an undercurrent of
tension with him about it on Monday and Tuesday, then today it just all came
out with Dr Wells telling me that she doesn’t see the possibility of me ever
conceiving naturally.’

‘God Mia,
I’m so sorry about that.’

‘I’m fine
about it Lex, you know I’ve never wanted children.’

‘But Gabe’s
not fine with it?’

‘No,’ I
shook my head and I felt my eyes sting as I was hit with the emotion of it all
again. ‘No, no he’s not,’ I sniffed. ‘Lex it’s been weeks, not even a month yet
and he wants to talk about marriage and families? It’s just too much. I’ve only
just had sex and fallen in love for the first time, I’m not ready to talk about
all this shit.’

‘Mia I get
that. I know how you feel about marriage and kids. It’s your dads fault, it’s
because of the way he treated your mum and treated you, but there are a lot of
happily married people out there, with happy bloody kids. We just got the shit
end of the stick.’ I smiled at her through my tears as she rubbed my ankle.

‘I know
that Lexi, but you didn’t see his face, he was heartbroken. That’s why I tried
to end it. How can I love him the way I do and deny him something that’s so
important to him, it’s wrong, it’s just so wrong.’

‘So you
decided to end it to save him getting hurt?’

‘Yes,’ I
nodded.

‘What about
you?’

‘What about
me?’

‘Mia you’re
so in love with him. You didn’t think how painful it’d be for you to walk away?’

‘No,’ I
shrugged. ‘All I could think was I was I’m hurting him and if I go now it’ll be
easier. I don’t want him feeling like he’s stuck with me further down the line,
resenting me for it.’